I don't own Lord of the Rings, the Village People or any other songs mentioned. This was just a random thing that popped into my head one day.
"Young man, there's no need to feel down, I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground…" Legolas looked around, but there was no-one there. Strange, he thought. They had been running after the hobbits for a few hours now, and they had passed no-one.
oOo
"It's fun to be at the YMCA!" The singing stopped, and Legolas sighed with relief. Maybe this time the music was gone for good…
*five hours later*
"Young man, pick yourself off the ground…" It was strange that Aragorn and Gimli didn't seem to be bothered by the song, Legolas mused as he ran across the plains of Rohan and the song started again for the hundredth time. Suddenly he stopped. A strange man had appeared in front of him. He was wearing a feathered headdress and holding a microphone – and he was singing That Song.
"Young man, there's no need to feel down…"
"YES THERE IS! YOU'RE IT'!" Screamed the elf. The man ignored him and kept singing. Legolas covered his ears and tried to ignore the singing, and kept running.
"You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal…"
"AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" The strange man had appeared in front of him again. "You can do whatever you feel…" Legolas drew an arrow from his quiver and shot the microphone out of the man's hand. He kept singing. If anything, he sang louder. "GO AWAY!" The man ignored him.
"You can hang out with all the boys…"
"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU I'M NOT GAY!? THIS ISN'T A SLASH FIC!" Legolas screamed.
"It's fun to stay at the YMCA, it's fun to stay at the YMCA…" Sang the man, waving his hands oddly above his head. Legolas snapped. He grabbed his knives and attacked the man, but the blades just passed straight through him. "AAAAAARRRGGGHHH!"
oOo
"WHAT ARE YOU?" Aragorn heard the scream and looked behind him. Gimli was still running, red-faced and out of breath, but Legolas had stopped dead, a look of utter horror on his face.
"What's… wrong… with him?" Panted Gimli, who had finally caught up with the ranger. Aragorn shook his head. He had seen this happen to his friend before; once they had been hunting in Mirkwood when the elf had suddenly dropped to ground, whimpering and mumbling something that sounded like, 'A la tuhuelpa legria macarena, Que tuhuelce paralla legria cosabuena….'
Aragorn sighed. "Keep running, Gimli. He'll catch up." The elf did start running again, but after a few minutes he stopped again and started yelling at nothing. "Are you sure he's all righ-" Gimli started to ask, but was cut off when an arrow whizzed past his head. Aragorn turned round and saw Legolas screaming and stabbing at thin air. This looked worse than the yellow submarine episode….