Chapter 5 – Damaged Goods

BPOV

Standing under the steaming hot water of the shower, I could finally feel the exhaustion settle in. I had been awake for 30 hours and hadn't eaten anything since lunch yesterday at school. It had only been about twelve hours since Jasper asked me to stay with him, yet my old life felt like it was already years behind me.

I reveled in the heat of the water that was enveloping me, letting it flow over my hair, my neck and my back. The warmth was a relief for the soreness from being slammed roughly into a wall by a vampire. Hell, I would have been sore if a human did that to me. But I didn't mind; it was a good kind of sore.

I was getting a little hot again when I thought about Jasper thrusting his dick inside me. What that man was able to do to me, I couldn't quite grasp. His dark and dominating nature was getting to me in a way no man had ever done before. Not that I was all that experienced. My previous relation with Edward started off as a story of a forbidden love between a high school junior and her young and sexy English teacher, but had rapidly developed into a nightmare. He had turned into a smothering, controlling bastard, alienating me from my friends and mother to the point I had only him left in my life. There had never been any physical abuse, but emotionally he had often turned me into a quivering heap with his snide comments and his arrogance. Of course he knew more of the world than I did; I was only freaking sixteen at the time. But somehow I had found the strength to break free of him and escape unscathed. It had made me stronger, an independent woman, and older in a way. From that point on I hadn't felt my age, not that I was jaded, I just didn't fit in with people my age anymore.

Thinking of my past, it was strange that Jasper had this effect on me and I was starting to question myself a little. What was I doing? The man was obviously fuckhot and he wanted me badly, I could tell that, but was I on the verge of repeating my mistakes of the past? Would he turn out to be just as controlling as Edward? I had said that I was his, but that didn't mean I was some sort of possession and I had to make that perfectly clear. On the other hand, Jasper's honesty was a part of what drew me to him, looking past the physical attraction. Where others would have sugarcoated, he told me what he was and what he had done even though at some point he expected me to run away screaming. And that was what made me decide to stay.

After about fifteen minutes, the water was turning cold and with a sigh I finished my shower. There was a large fluffy white towel waiting for me on the towel rack and I silently thanked Jasper. I decided to simply towel dry my hair and brush through it to get the remaining knots out. With the towel wrapped around me, I stepped back into the bedroom and found my bag with my only worldly possessions on the bed. Instead of going for the sexy look to drive Jasper crazy, I opted for something more comfortable this time. I put on a pair of washed jeans and a t-shirt. No bra, maybe I could drive him crazy a little bit. Bending over to get my jeans on turned out to hurt my back a lot and I took a mental note to go easy on it next time I felt the urge to be claimed.

I made my way downstairs carefully and went to the kitchen to get something to drink. To my surprise there was already a bottle of water, a glass and some ibuprofen waiting for me on the counter.

"Uhm, thanks, I guess" I said into thin air and I heard a chuckle from behind me. I turned around to see Peter leaning against the door frame, arms crossed in front of his chest, a slight smirk on his face. I took two pills and swallowed them down with the water, while I tried not to take my eyes of the vampire at the other end of the room.

"How did you know I'd be needing that?" I asked him as I hopped on the counter, cursing my bruised ass in the process.

"Well, I have this gift too," he started and sat down on the kitchen table. "I know shit. That's my special ability."

He looked so absolutely full of himself I couldn't help but burst out into laughter. "Bullshit," I said, when I had stilled the giggles, "you just heard us have sex earlier and must have thought I'd be feeling it by now."

He had looked offended at first, but then he started laughing himself. "Okay, you're right. I did hear you two and that's exactly what I thought. I was trying to impress you with my skills, but that seemed to have failed miserably."

When we were done laughing, I had to wipe away my tears and catch my breath. "No seriously, do you also have a gift like Jasper?" I asked him and then realized Jasper probably wasn't in the house. Where the hell was he?

"Jasper and Charlotte are shopping for food for you, just as you requested," he answered my unspoken question and I quirked my brow at him. "And to answer your real question, my gift really is knowing shit."

"What do you mean, knowing shit? Are you like a walking encyclopedia of something?"

"Not shit like that," he huffed and I had to suppress I giggle. I probably hit a nerve there.

"I can't really explain," he continued, "sometimes I know what's going to happen, sometimes things happen and I know why…" He stopped talking for a moment as if to gather his thoughts. "For instance, when Jasper brought you home, I immediately knew you would cause some major changes for the three of us. It just came to me."

I nodded. I thought I understood what he meant. "So you actually did know I'd be in pain when I came downstairs?" I asked and he smiled relieved.

"Yes, actually I did. But simply logic would have brought me to the same conclusion. So it's hard to explain how it works. I don't even know how it works."

I thought I understood what it was and I tried to shine my light on it. "It seems like you're extremely intuitive and have a knack for tying things together logically so that it seems to others that you have this uncanny ability. Am I right?"

"In part," he said and I could see in his eyes he was truly interested in what I was saying. "That explains part of it, but I already knew something was up before I even knew you existed. What's the explanation for that?"

"I'm drawing blanks now," I said and we both smiled. "Maybe you do have a gift. If vampires exist and one of them is some sort of empath, you can be Yoda, I don't care."

When I said the name Yoda, his whole face lit up like he was a kid in a candy store. "You and I are going to get along just fine," he said and somehow I knew he was right. Talking to him came natural to me and I felt at ease around him, despite the fact he could kill me any second to drink my blood. I really needed some time to adjust to the whole vampires exist thing.

Peter noticed I was getting uncomfortable in my current position on the counter and suggested we sat down on the couch in the living room. He was handing me cushions and a blanket to make me as comfortable as possible and it was really sweet and endearing. When I was all set up, he gave me a remote and opened a cabinet on the far wall that contained a gigantic flat screen TV. I started flipping through the channels as he settled down on the other end of the couch, careful not to disturb me.

--~--

I must have fallen asleep, because I suddenly awoke to the sound of voices coming from the kitchen. I opened my eyes and realized Peter wasn't sitting on the couch with me anymore. I sat up slowly and stretched my sore muscles. I could identify the voices as being Jasper and Peter's and I strained my ears to hear the conversation. They were talking too quietly for me to understand, but from the tone of their voices I could make out they weren't too pleased with each other. When I stood up from the couch, they abruptly stopped talking and before I had time to blink they were in front of me. That would take some getting used to.

"Go on, tell her," Peter said to Jasper. He looked extremely pissed off, while Jasper was fidgeting like a school boy. He was looking down at his feet, fists clenched by his side and I had no idea what all this was about. Finally, his eyes met mine and I could feel anger and guilt radiating towards me.

"Why didn't you tell me I hurt you?" he asked, but it sounded more like an accusation. I was momentarily stunned. Was this about him slamming me into the wall? As I was gathering my thoughts, Peter was shooting daggers at Jasper and I wondered what that was all about.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," Jasper blurted out and Peter gave him a nod, a hint of a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. He gave me a wink and then he was gone.

Jasper walked up to me and as gently as he could, wrapped me in his arms. Resting my head against his chest, I was suddenly aware that he didn't have a heart beat. He had told me before, but actually noticing it was kind of unsettling.

"Why are you angry?" I asked him.

"What do you mean?"

I took a step back so I could look into his eyes again. "Just now, when you first looked at me, I could feel you were angry and feeling guilty."

"I must have been projecting, sorry," he said, dodging the question.

"You haven't answered my question, Jasper," I said, maybe a little harsher than I intended and I saw the anger return in his eyes.

"I was angry with you because you hadn't told me you were hurt. Instead you sent me away and end up letting Peter take care of you."

"I'm sorry. Next time you do something that hurts me, I'll certainly tell you. And then you can clean up your own mess."

We stared at each other for a while, not saying a word, until we were interrupted by the growling of my stomach.

"Let's get you some food," he grinned and led me to the kitchen where Peter and Charlotte were already waiting for us. He squeezed my hand reassuringly and I knew he wasn't mad anymore.

"A sandwich or a hot meal?" Charlotte asked when I entered and I decided on a sandwich. I was going to go to sleep afterwards anyway, so a light meal would go better.

While I was eating my lettuce and turkey sandwich, I watched the three vampires in front of me. It was obvious they had been together for a very long time. Their every move was gracious and in perfect balance with the other two. At the same time the whole scene was a little disturbing, because certain of their movements were too fast for me to see and other times they were as still as statues. And the entire time Charlotte was babbling on and on about absolutely everything. She tried to include me in the conversation, but they were talking so fast about topics I knew nothing about, I just smiled and nodded.

When Jasper brought up the impending move, I started paying attention again. They were discussing properties that would be fit for human inhabitation, but were also remote enough to not raise suspicion about their vampire lifestyle. My only input was that I wanted to go some place warm. In the end, the choice was between Texas and California. Peter and Charlotte were in favor of California, because they could find enough scum in the major cities to sustain their feeding habits. Jasper had already shared with me that they fed on humans, but only on the sick and dying and occasionally on criminals. It still bothered me that they were talking so casually about the loss of human lives. On the other hand, you wouldn't go tell a lion to go eat grass or leaves or something. It was part of my decision to live with Jasper and I was going to have to deal with it.

Jasper preferred to move to Texas, since it was where he had lived as a little boy. He hadn't struck me the type as being sentimental, but during the argument that followed it was clear he wasn't going to concede whichever argument Peter brought up. The atmosphere in the kitchen was getting more and more tense as Jasper and Peter kept arguing. Jasper's posture changed from a relaxed stance leaning against the table where I was eating, to a rigid, military-like attitude that showed me the man he used to be. His eyes were hard and fixed on Peter, his voice deeper and full of authority.

"Fine, have it your way then," Peter growled in frustration, "we'll move to Texas."

Charlotte put her hand on his arm in a comforting gesture, but he shook it off, too angry to let his wife in. She had stayed out of the whole discussion and I realized they functioned with a strict hierarchy. Jasper was the boss, the Major; Peter was his second in command, able to offer his own opinion and Charlotte was a simple foot soldier; she would have to listen no matter what. This revelation made me wonder what my place would be. Charlotte seemed quite happy in her role, but there was no way in hell I was going to lose myself again for a man, even if it was a man like Jasper.

"Wow, Major, doesn't Charlotte have any say in this?" I said trying to stand up for her, but his reaction wasn't what I expected.

Jasper turned his head towards me very slowly. His eyes were dark and terrifying and I had to try my hardest not to look down at the floor when he looked into my eyes. In a blink he was towering over me, baring his teeth, while his hand had my jaw in a death grip.

"Don't ever call me that again, Isabella," he threatened through clenched teeth, "do you understand?" His hold on my jaw was extremely painful as he was waiting for me to answer. Everything in me screamed to tell him yes, but I didn't. I had been in this situation before and I knew my reaction would be crucial. If I didn't stand up to him now, I would never be able to in the future. And then I would end up like the shell of a person I had been with Edward. I really believed Jasper wasn't that person. He just didn't know how to handle a woman.

"Let the fuck go of me. Now!" I hissed and I registered the surprise in his eyes. He obviously wasn't used to people standing up to him.

"You are hurting me. Stop it."

He blinked once and then his grip loosened. Very slowly, as if it cost him a great deal of effort, he removed his hand from my jaw and instead he grabbed the edge of the table. I could imagine his fingers leaving red marks that would turn into purple bruises in a couple of hours.

"Damn, I'm sorry," he whispered when he saw the marks and I felt his sincerity when he looked into my eyes again.

"I never meant to hurt you, Isabella."

He closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. When he opened them, they were back to their normal honey color with specks of red.

"The last man that called me Major had his head ripped off in less than a second," he said, like it explained everything, but for now I was glad with the apology.

"It's okay, Jasper," I said as I grabbed his hands. "It's okay for you not to like something I say."

He nodded at my words and seemed relieved.

"But don't ever fucking hurt me again. If you so much as lift a damn finger at me intentionally I'll be out of here so fast not even your vampire speed can stop me. I'd rather be dead than abused by any motherfucker ever again."

I didn't mean to tell him this much, but the words kept on pouring out of my mouth against my will. He looked at me in awe and surprised me by pulling me into a hug. Suddenly I was flooded with love and happiness and I knew Jasper was trying to cheer me up. The tears that I had successfully held at bay moments earlier were now flowing freely as I snuggled closer into his chest.

"I need to know I'm not making a mistake by giving up my life and coming with you," I sniffled against his chest. "If you're not the man I thought you were, I need to know now while I can still get out."

"I promise I'll try to be the best man I can be for you. I've always been a selfish bastard, but I don't want to be like that anymore." And as an afterthought he added: "And if I ever hurt you again, Peter has permission to kick my ass."

"Yes sir," Peter answered and he and Charlotte left the kitchen after giving me a wink.

That made me giggle and all my insecurities were washed away. Jasper was probably just as much damaged goods as I was and I knew I had to talk to him about why he had grabbed me, but for now I was content in his embrace.

When I looked up at him, I saw my feelings reflected in his face, confirming even more that I was doing the right thing. He kissed me softly to show me I had nothing to fear from him anymore. My body started reacting to him instantly and I deepened the kiss. It was hard to believe I wanted him again, but as his hands moved down my arms, I was starting to get wet again. He growled against my mouth and pulled me tight against him. His strong, hard arms against my back made me wince in pain and he backed away immediately.

"Fuck, did I hurt you again?"

"I'm fine. We're just going to have to find a position where nothing touches my back."

"Are you sure?" he asked, concern etched in his features. "We don't have to do it now. I'm not a sex addict. I can wait until you've recuperated."

I shook my head and looked around for another option. It would be easier on me if I had control so I lead him to the couch.

"Strip," I told him and he was naked before I had seen him move. Next time we did this, I'd have to teach him undress more slowly. I'd love to see him take his shirt off and see his pants slide down his hips. He sat down on the couch and watched me take my clothes off.

"Take your dick in your hand and start touching yourself," I ordered while removing my panties. It was incredibly sexy to watch him jerk himself off in front of me. But I couldn't wait to feel him inside of me, so I straddled his lap. Very slowly I slid down over his shaft, a moan escaping my lips when he was fully sheathed. We shared a sensuous kiss before I started moving at a gentle pace. He didn't try to take control once, but was groaning along with me pretty quickly.

I rolled my hips against him a little faster and I felt my orgasm approaching. My movements were getting erratic when he took over, firm but gently. I screamed his name as my climax washed over me, followed closely by a loud growl when Jasper came inside of me. He held me as I panted against his chest, utterly spent from the exertion and the emotional turmoil. I felt myself drift away, wrapped in his arms, his cock still buried in me and I realized I was as close to happy as I had ever been.

AN: I apologize for any spelling mistakes, my beta is having some RL problems and I dedicate this chapter to her.