A/N: Hey everybody! Here's a new chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly. If I did Sam and Freddie would not have broken up in iLove You :(

***Story changed from 3rd to 1st person: Sam's POV***

Chapter 4: For Me, It's You

Freddie was still in the room, thinking. Just thinking about me. The odds had never been good with me. I can second that. I'd always been someone Freddie thought he hated. He loved me because he knew underneath me was another Sam Puckett. I am like a turtle. I keep my real feelings in a shell until they pop out on their own.

It's cheesy, but Freddie had always pictured him and me, forever. Nothing would tear us apart. Happily ever after. I'm afraid the only time that happens, is in the fairytales.

He thought he should leave. He tried, but he couldn't. He never wanted to leave me alone. Freddie started to notice the little things about me as did I about him. The way my smile sparkled, the way I looked at him, everything.

Now, I was here. In a hospital because I had cancer. The odds. Well, they were split. 50-50, half and half, either way, I may die.

Die. That's the one word that Freddie never wanted to hear. Not being able to me every day? Having to wonder what would've happened next for us? Even the thought of it made Freddie terrified. I may be a demon, but Freddie knew I'd always be, no matter what, his demon. That made him smile. I was strong. Freddie just hoped it was enough.

Freddie realized he had been sitting there for an entire hour. Just then, the nurse wheeled me back in the room. I looked a little flushed, but I smiled at him. I was already worried enough for the both of us. The nurse almost picked me up, but Freddie stopped her.

"I got it," The nurse nodded and walked out of the room. Freddie gently picked me up. It was silent for a moment.

"So..." Freddie started. He held me up, holding me wedding style.

"Freddie, I don't want this." I said.

"Fine, then I'll-" I cut him off. He was making this hard.

"Freddie I've had a lot of time to think. I don't want you to worry. Please, for me," He shook his head setting me on the bed gently.

"I'm sorry, I can't do that," He took my hand, "I don't want to lose you. Who would make me feel so many things if you weren't around? I just...want to know what you want...just in case."

"I love you," I kissed him gently on his cheek and pulled out a list, "I know it's weird. I made a Bucket List."

"When did you make this?" He asked, as I handed it to him.

"Last night," He was shocked, "I'm too upset to sleep, what am I gonna do?"

He scrolled through it, but one really caught his eye. It was number one.

Get Married.

"I thought you didn't like the idea of weddings," he said. I smiled, but it faded. I couldn't do this to him.

"Freddie, I need to talk to you," I said, "I need you to do something for me."

"Anything." He smiled that goofy smile I love to see.

"I need you to go on," He looked slightly confused, "When I'm gone, I need you to find someone who makes you feel just like I feel about you. I want you to know I love you and I will until I stop breathing. Maybe even then." Freddie lost it.

"You're not going anywhere!" Freddie said, holding back tears, "I've always hated you! I've always hated you, Sam Puckett! I have always loved you more. I want to be with you as long as I have you." His kissed me, not giving me a chance to speak. I kissed back, letting a tear fall. "You're asking me to let you go." He let tears slip, "I can't let go of the girl I love."

"You're such a dork, but that's not why I love you." I said, fiddling with my fingers. Correction: That's not the only reason I love him. I could go on for days saying everything that makes me love him.

He looked confused, "Then why do you love me?"

"I love you because you're my best friend. You're someone I'm always gonna love. You're my soul mate," He let a tear slip, "and alive or dead it's not gonna change a thing. You'll still be Freddie. I just won't be around to bug you." I studied my hands.

I know I didn't deserve him. I also knew I couldn't live without him. Have you ever pictured that one person you want to spend the rest your life with? Well, for me, that's him.

"Sam," I looked up and Freddie's tear-stained face, "I love you because you're the best person I've ever known. Fifty years from now, Everyone will want someone who they know they'll love to grow old with. Someone beautiful and wonderful." He paused and I sniffled, "For me, it's you." I looked at him. I started to sob.

"I-I lo-love you." I said in between sobs. Freddie crawled into the hospital bed and lay beside me. He held me close and I cried into his chest. "It's okay, I'm here." He started to cry too, "I love you, Sammy."

Freddie had gone home. I woke up the next morning and took a shower at the hospital. I was washing my hair and humming. Then I noticed my hair felt shorter. I looked at my hands and screamed.

An hour later, Freddie showed up, looking for me.

"Yeah, I'm here to see Sam. Sam Puckett."

"Listen, she'd upset and she's not doing well, I-" Freddie urgently interrupted.

"I need to see her now!" He yelled. She pointed down the hall. He dashed and walked into my room. What he saw made him stop in his tracks.

"I thought you were hurt." He came over and lay beside me, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Freddie, I couldn't stand it. I had to do it." I looked down ashamed at my appearance.

"Hey, I still think you look beautiful." If only I could've thought that highly of myself at that particular moment.

"I'm bald! Bald!" Freddie grabbed my hand, and wiped tears that had escaped from my eyes, "I was in the shower and I had clumps of hair in my hands! Clumps! I wasn't going to sit there and watch myself go bald, hair by hair. Now I look awful. I mean-" Freddie interrupted.

"I loved your hair. But that's not why I love you. You know that." I smiled. That was the first time I really knew. I really knew he loved me, and that meant the world to me.

"It'll grow back. Honestly, you look beautiful with or without your hair," He concluded. I let a happy tear slip as a smile crept over my lips. He kissed me softly.

"Ms. Puckett?" A doctor came in, "Are you alright?"

"I'm dying, but other than that everything's okay." He grinned sadly at my trying-to-be-but-not-really-funny joke. Freddie gave me a look, "What?"

"Well, um, Mr. Benson, could I see you in the hall for a second please?" He looked at me. I nodded and said, "Go, it's okay."

He kissed me deeply. I could tell how much emotion he was holding back. To be honest, most guys would be gone at this point. They'd go find another girl. Freddie just wanted me. Bald and very sick me. I can't express how much I love that boy.

He walked out after blowing a kiss to me.

"Mr. Benson, she's responding well to the treatment," the doctor said.

"That's great news!" Freddie said, enthusiastically.

"Whoa, don't get too excited. I just don't know if that will be enough." Freddie's face fell.

"What're you saying?" He didn't want to hear the answer.

"Her chances of dying are greater than her chances of living." Freddie let tears fall. He collapsed on the floor, crying. I heard Freddie crying and I knew something was wrong, but I pretended I didn't have a clue.

A/N: Sometimes my own righting makes me cry. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? ;) Thanks for reading and please look at my profile for a contest! Anyone can enter! Please review! :D