A/N: Hey y'all! It's me with a new chapter! Enjoy! I changed the theme song for this one. It's now "Heartbeat" by The Fray. It's a perfect fit. First post of 2012! Yeah! I will favorite the first person to review! ;)

Disclaimer: I never have owned iCarly. I don't and probably never will:(

Chapter 5: Four Words

January 28th

So, I hear I'm closer to seeing the big guy. What else is new? Except nobody knows I know. Freddie hasn't been here since yesterday. I'm scared he'll leave. This will be too much for him. My hair's gone. I'm scared.

Terrified,

Sam Puckett

Freddie walkedin and I shut and hid the journal quickly.

"Hey, beautiful." I looked away from him. "What is it?"

I didn't want him to do this. I couldn't let him take all the pain. I had to do what I do best: push him away. On any other situation, I wouldn't have to, but this is Freddie. Not the dorky Freddie I used to know. My Freddie. My escape. Every day he stayed would cause him more heartache. I couldn't do that to anyone. Especially not him.

"Just go," I said, holding back my tears. This was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

"What? Why? I-I can't leave. Wh-What're you even talking about?" He was freaking out.

"Stop!" I said looking at him now. This was so hard.

"What did I do?" he asked. "Just tell me and I swear I'll change it or fix it!" He was begging. It only made this that much harder.

"Freddie-" I swallowed hard. "I need you turn around and walk out that door."

"Why?" he asked, on the verge of hysteria.

"Because I love you!" He let a tear fall. "Don't you get it? You and I have been through the ringer and I don't want you to suffer dire consequences. I know how much you love me. It'll make it harder on you after I'm-" He cut me off.

"Don't you...say that. You are not going anywhere!" He was stubborn, I gave him that. It still wasn't making it any easier on me.

"You can't just-" I started.

"You are so-" he interrupted.

We kept interrupting each other until we both said at the exact same moment,

"I LOVE YOU!" I let the tears spill over.

"I know you do. I love you as much as you love me. That's what's scary. I can't let someone as important as you go through this." I literally felt as if my heart had dropped. Like a giant rock into my stomache. And, no, it didn't feel all that great.

"Don't you get it, Puckett?" He smirked as he called me that. "I didn't fall in love with the Puckett who was always looking for the easy way out. I fell in love with Sam Puckett. My blonde-headed demon. And that girl would never give up. I knew it since Carly introduced us," he said. I sat on my bed and he sat on the side.

"What do you mean 'you knew it'? What did you know?" I asked, curiously.

"That I would fall in love with you." I stared at him in disbelief. He'd never told me that before. "I also knew other things." I gestured for him to continue.

"I knew you hated my guts. You probably wanted to beat me to a pulp." I laughed at that. He did too.

"I knew you weren't at the best place family wise. Your father," I looked down immediately. He and I don't talk. He left when me and Melanie were seven. I was young, but I was old enough to remember that I understood what was going on. It hurt. Freddie was there for me that whole time. "He had just left. So, I knew I needed to be a friend." I told him he could stop, but he just kept going. "I knew that you tried to push me away most of the time. The closer we got the more it scared you. Heck, you even scared me. Point is, the Puckett I know has never been a quitter and she's not gonna start now." I had a tear-stained face by then. I gave up.

"Can I tell you something?" I asked him.

"Yeah?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"My bucket list," I said. "I want you to read it. Not now, but when you're alone." He thought this was a strange request, but he gave up and agreed.

A nurse walked in as if on cue and said, "Mr. Benson, visiting hours are over." He kissed my forehead and whispered in my ear, "Don't give up, Sammy." Sammy. He used to call me that all the time. I only liked it when it came out of his mouth. He walked out and I closed my eyes. In minutes, I had drifted off to sleep.

Freddie walked home that night and went into his room. He immediately opened the bucket list and started to read:

SAM PUCKETT'S BUCKETT LIST

In no particular order:

1. Get married

2. Have kids

3. Go to Hawaii

4. Get Freddie Benson to see how much I love him

5. Own a restaurant (that sells meat)

6. Find my dad

7. Have a moment that's totally cheesy like a movie

8. Survive Cancer

9. Grow old with the person I love, Freddie

10. Live every moment like it might be my last, because tomorrow could be my last day on Earth

Freddie cried. He didn't know what to say. He wished he could make it all disappear. He knew what he was going to do. He picked up the phone.

It rang and someone answered,

"Hello? Freddie?" a female voice answered.

"Yeah, Carly, I need your help," he said desperately.

January 29th

I feel good this morning. I feel like something good is going to happen. I have to hope. I mean, what else can I do? Somebody's coming.

Later,

Sam Puckett

"Hey, Sam!" My brunette best friend came over and hugged me.

"Hey, Stranger," I replied.

"Hey, so, what was with the whole freak-out-on-Freddie thing yesterday?" Freddie just had to tell Carly.

"Look, you don't understand." She sighed. "With Freddie and I, you can't see sparks, but you can feel them. He's that one person, that one I can't imagine what I'd be like without him. I see him and everything is perfect. I don't want him to hurt. I'm already hurting enough for the both of us." Carly looked at me like she was trying to tell me something.

"What?" I responded.

"You guys were meant to be, don't you see that? He can't just leave you. He's Freddie. Not a jerk," she explained. I knew she was right.

"Look I love him-" She stopped me.

"I'm not the one you should be talking to." I was lost and confused.

Freddie walked in. "Hey," he said to Sam. Turning to the only other person in the room, he said, "Thanks, Carly."

"Thanks for what? What is going on here?" I was confused out of my mind. Carly left and Freddie and I were left alone.

"Did you read my bucket list?" I asked, trying to ignore what had just happened.

"Yeah, I did. And do you recall me telling you I love you, and that I'd do anything, just in case?" he asked, not wanting to say the word.

"Yeah, but-" He interrupted me. Him and Carly, wow. They won't let me finish!

"Come with me," he said, helping me up. I said whatever and followed him. He covered my eyes and walked me down to the hospital lobby. I opened them and everyone we knew was there. Mrs. Benson, my mom, Carly, Spencer, and so many more.

"What are they all doing here?" I asked.

"Well, I have a gift for you, Puckett." Oh, boy. Okay, I love Benson, but when it comes to gifts...

"What is it?" I said, dreading the "surprise".

"Four words." Words? What the chiz was he talkin' about?

"Which are?" Get on with it, Benson.

"Will you marry me?"

A/N: SO CUTE! AHHHH! I love it! Okay, sorry but I thought I did a good job. Tell me what you think! Please Review! Thanks for reading and your support! :)