AN: Yes, it took me way too long. I'm sorry. Go read now :).
Chapter 17 – Becoming
BPOV
"I like this, Edward," I said, holding his hand. "The fresh air does wonders for me."
"I like seeing you happy like this, Isabella," he replied and kissed the top of my head. That still made me shiver in disgust, even though my emotions stayed detached. It must have been purely physical. That was good to know, that my body didn't want to betray Jasper. Edward, of course, saw it as a sign that I wanted him badly. Stupid fuck.
We walked along the deserted park near our hotel in semi-comfortable silence. I tried to ignore who I was with and enjoy my surroundings. There was a little pond nearby, but since it was night there were no ducks or birds around. A memory of my childhood suddenly came popping up, from when my family was still whole. Me, my mom and my dad walking hand in hand in the park, them swinging me back and forth in between them, feeding the ducklings, being happy. It caused such a jolt of pain through my heart, tears were pooling in my eyes. But that time of my life was long gone and the only thing that kept was the thought of being reunited with Jasper.
All of a sudden Edward stiffened, ripping me from my musings, and dragged me behind him. He sniffed and started to growl softly.
"What is it?"
"Vampire."
My heart surged. Jasper must have finally tracked me down and was about to swoop in for the rescue.
"Do you know him?"
Please let it be Jasper.
"No, I haven't smelled this one before."
My hopes plummeted just as quickly as they had risen. Fuck!
I peered from behind his back and saw a blond man approach. At about ten yards from us, he stopped, and to me it was clear now that he was indeed a vampire. He was wearing torn up jeans and a denim jacket without anything under it; it was like he had missed a couple of decades of fashion. He wasn't tall, but appeared extremely menacing. His eyes just oozed malice.
"You've brought a snack," the vampire spoke, a false grin spreading on his face.
I realized then, that this meeting didn't need to end badly. Edward could just confirm and tell he wasn't intending to share me. I had my confused act all ready, being the dumb victim and all. But then Edward needed to fuck it all up.
"You stay away from my mate or I'll rip your head off."
God dammed. Motherfucking ignorant asshole.
Now the vamp's curiosity was spiked. I saw it in his eyes. His grin spread and he licked his lips in a really disconcerting gesture.
"Well, well, if that isn't interesting. Your mate? I bet she tastes delicious."
He inched forward, as we stepped back. Every move we made, he mirrored. He scared me more than Edward and I was starting to think, he scared Edward as well. After a minute I understood we were in some sort of weird Mexican stand-off. Neither of them was going to pounce, because neither of them was sure they were going to win. Cowards.
Before I knew it, I was dragged over Edward's shoulder and we were running. We went faster than I ever knew a vampire could run. We were in our car and driving in less time it took me to count to ten.
"What's going on, Edward? Who was that? Why are we running?"
"He's a tracker."
"What's a tracker?"
Edward turned to me, eyes pitch black, frightening the shit out of me.
"A tracker does just that, he tracks. He can find anything or anyone he wants, once he gets a whiff of their scent. And now he's on our trail."
He looked back out over the road and gripped the steering wheel tightly. I had no idea such a thing as a tracker existed, but it rang true. I had seen it in his eyes. He wouldn't give up until he had what he wanted. A taste of me. I didn't need to read his mind to know that.
We drove on for hours on end, taking the highway in one direction and small back roads in another, anything to keep the tracker off our tail. It wasn't working. Even in the car he seemed to be able to find us, something I had only now come to realize was hard for a vampire.
Edward's carefully maintained facade was crumbling under the pressure of the hunt. His eyes were permanently dark, as he had no time to feed anymore, and he became twitchy and on edge. His newborn side was finally showing and I had to take advantage.
"We can't keep running like this, Edward," I spoke to him on the evening of the second day.
"You're hanging on to your self control by a thread and I'm too tired to take over the wheel. We have to do something."
He nodded almost imperceptibly while his jaw tightened. I had spent enough time with him to know that meant he agreed but wasn't too happy about it. And he always had been the kind of man that could never admit out loud when he needed help. Especially from a woman. Ass.
It was silent for a while after that which made me realize he had absolutely no clue what to do.
"I have an idea, but I don't think you're going to like it," I said, laying my hand lightly on his arm.
Again with the quasi-nod.
I had thought all day about how to tell him. Should I just blurt it out or ease him in to it. I had decided on the latter.
"I know we're running away to protect me. If you could have been one hundred percent sure you could have taken the vampire without harming me, you would have. Am I right?"
"Yes."
At least he spoke.
"So since he's older than you, he doesn't need to feed that often? Is that right too?"
I knew I was right, but I had to get him along in my reasoning.
"Do you think he's going to get tired of chasing us if we evade him long enough?"
Edward's answer came right away.
"No. I'm young, but I know the type. He's completely focused on stealing you from me. And once he has you, he'll dispose of you; but he'll probably torture you first before he drains you. He has been doing that for decades, if not longer. The fact that you are protected by another vampire makes it such a challenge, he can't resist. He won't stop until he's reached his goal."
"I will never let him hurt you, Isabella," he said suddenly while grabbing my hand tightly in his. "I'll defend you with my life."
That was kind of overly dramatic, but his emotions were real and I needed those to get him to approve my plan.
"Thank you, Edward," I responded, giving him a small squeeze.
"But I'm afraid that won't be enough. The only way to stop it all is to kill him."
"I agree."
It was now or never...
"That means you'll have to make me a vampire. The two of us could take him out easily."
"NO!" he roared.
"No, I will not turn you into the same monstrosity I am. You don't know what you're asking."
"I do know what I'm asking," I said defiantly. He didn't have an idea how well I knew. And what I was giving up by asking this. The chance of being turned by Jasper, the man I loved more than I loved my life. And suddenly I felt so stupid. Why had we waited to turn me? I hadn't admitted it to myself but I had been ready to become a vampire the day Jasper bared his soul to me. The connection we achieved that day was so profound, I should have recognized it. I belonged with him for all eternity.
My heart ached for him so badly that for a moment, I couldn't breathe. When I regained my composure, I went on like I didn't just have one of the greatest epiphanies of my life.
"You know that there really isn't a choice, Edward," I spoke to him calmly. "He is going to get to us eventually and when he does, two are stronger than one."
And as an afterthought I added: "And if need to be frozen in time, I'd rather have it while I'm still young and pretty, with my first set of teeth."
Peter would have loved that joke, but Edward ignored it altogether. I could tell he was considering it though. It was probably his innermost secret to have me with him as a vampire, thinking he could have me as his pet forever.
Two hours of driving later, the car suddenly came to a stop. Once Edward turned his head to me and I saw the look on his face, I knew I had won. He looked utterly defeated, shoulders slumped and his handsome face was distorted in pain. But when I looked into his eyes, there was this twinkle present, like secretly his deepest fantasy was about to come to reality. And abruptly I got very nervous and afraid. My heart started racing and my palms got sweaty. I'm sure he must have noticed, but by then he was already inching closer to me.
He didn't speak a word, but smiled sadly, maybe in an attempt to comfort me. It wasn't really working. And of course this time, my instinct screamed at me to run away, to fight, to do anything but wait for what was to come. It took all the willpower I had to stay in my seat as Edward's smile turned into a devilish grin.
With that sight, all my confidence flooded away and I was left utterly afraid, doubting everything I had done so far.
In a flash it was all over. He lunged for me, too fast for my eyes to capture. It took a second for the pain to hit me, as he ripped into my neck.
I wished I could say it all went dark. It didn't. Every detail was etched in my mind with gruesome clarity.
As his teeth tore through the flesh of my neck, I closed my eyes and clamped my jaw shut. The brutality of the attack had momentarily stunned me, but the pain quickly brought my wits back. I wished it hadn't.
The sounds Edward was making were disgusting, slurping and moaning at the same time. It made me shiver and that might have been the key to my survival. He stopped drinking suddenly like he himself was whipped back into reality. I opened my eyes to be met with the disturbing sight of Edward's face right in front of me, covered in my blood. It was almost like he had rubbed his face in it; it was absolutely everywhere.
Meanwhile, I could feel myself getting weaker and now the blood was running freely out of the wound. Apparently he had had the presence of mind to not nick my artery and just went for a vein. Otherwise, I'd be long dead by now. In a reflex gesture, I brought my hand to my neck to stop the bleeding, but Edward stopped me in mid movement. He leaned into me and licked the wound softly. The burning sensation of torn flesh intensified, but the blood stopped running.
The fire was slowly spreading underneath my skin, as Edward was licking up the last drops of my spilled blood. The urge to writhe and scream was starting to get overwhelming. When a soft whimper broke through my lips, he leaned into me and whispered in my ear.
"You can scream now, Isabella. I think I'd like that."
Motherfucker. That did it. I wouldn't scream no matter what. I'd be ice cold fury. And I would retain my sanity and my goal.
Kill Edward, get to Jasper.
Kill Edward, get to Jasper.
Kill Edward, get to Jasper.
...
I didn't lose track of time, because I had a clear view on the dashboard clock as Edward started driving again. We were still on the run of course, as hard as it was to remember that through the burning. But as the pain increased, minutes seemed to slow and seconds took eternities to pass. And still I wouldn't scream. Focusing my mind on my mantra helped. There was a maelstrom of love for Jasper and hate for Edward coursing through me. At one point I wondered if I would be able to hang onto both or if one of the two would block the other out.
Edward stopped a couple of times for gas, the sun rose and went down again, my flesh burned and the green numbers of the clock kept on changing.
On the third day, right before sunrise, Edward pulled the car into a deserted country road. At a building that was probably once a barn, he stopped and gently picked me up and carried me inside. That's when I realized two things; I could see almost perfectly in the dark and I didn't need to blink anymore. Too bad the pain wasn't subsiding.
He laid me down on the ground with such tenderness, it seemed like he actually cared for me.
"It will be over soon, my dear Isabella," he whispered, brushing my hair from my face.
He was right. The pain was receding gradually from my toes and fingertips. My heart was beating slower and slower, as if my blood was starting to freeze. And that's what it started to feel like. With those last beats, a blistering cold spread through my veins, extinguishing the burn, but leaving its own pain in its wake.
And then, with one last beat, it was over. No more burn, no more cold, no more pain.
My mind was reeling. It was no longer obsessed with the pain and now I realized it was vast. Millions of thoughts emerged at the same time, my senses were in overload and it all paled to one emotion. One thought.
Kill.
In the same fraction of a second it took to think it, I was at the other side of the room. I fought the instinct to crouch and hiss, because really, it seemed pretty ridiculous to me. But nonetheless, my muscles were tensed and I was ready to strike.
"Isabella, love, you don't need to fear me. Do you remember anything?"
Oh yes, motherfucker, I remember you.
"You are Edward," I managed to squeeze out after taking a breath that was apparently no longer needed.
Once I spoke his name, I was assaulted with images of him and what he did to me. And I did follow my instinct and growl. But I didn't attack. Not yet. Only attack when you are sure you are going to win and when you do, do it with such force that there's going to be no retaliation. I was sure someone taught me that, but it was hazy and I couldn't place a face with it.
Edward approached me carefully, but clearly confident in his own superiority. I deliberately relaxed my stance, to invite him even closer. When he noticed that, a small smirk crept over his face and he closed the last couple of yards relatively quickly.
He looked at me appraisingly and I cast my eyes down, because if I had looked him in the eyes, I wouldn't be to control myself for much longer. And I knew he wasn't close enough to rip him apart just yet. Fortunately, the gesture reminded him of the 'shy Isabella' I had been playing in the beginning and he inched even closer.
He brushed my hair to the side, exposing my neck and with it the scar he had given me.
"I love seeing my mark on you, Isabella," he cooed at me.
My arms jerked upward to claw his eyeballs out, but I could restrain myself just in time.
"Hold me, please," I said instead, the strain in my voice giving it the right amount of tremble.
Of course he obliged. I kept offering his deepest desires; he was even shaking with want. My arms wrapped around his neck in a tight embrace, but still he didn't suspect a thing. I put my head on his shoulders and he had no idea my teeth were only an inch away from his neck. I nuzzled even closer so that my lips were touching his flesh and he sighed. The son of a bitch sighed.
"Edward?" I mumbled into his neck.
"Yes, love?"
"Goodbye."
I yanked his head to the side and before he realized it, my teeth tore through his marble flesh with the same ease his had torn through mine. There was no blood, just sickly sweet venom, but it tasted like victory. I bit and tore as he squirmed in my, but I was stronger. My vengeance was giving me the strength I needed and in an instant, his head was loose. I kept tearing and shredding his flaying body until there was nothing left but a pile of goo.
Suddenly, I smelled something out of the ordinary. Warning bells started ringing in my mind. The scent came from the entrance of the barn and I whipped around to face the threat. Another vampire was standing in the open door, watching me intently.
AN: I've done it again. I really can't help myself. Hit me with your annoyance, I've deserved it. I love you all anyways! Thanks for sticking with me.