It was strange, remembering everything all of a sudden. It felt even weirder when I remembered how I hadn't remembered just a second ago. It felt like someone had ripped of a blind fold from my eyes and I suddenly saw everything clearer. I was here. She was here. We were us. No memory loss stood between us. Nothing whatsoever. I didn't think, I just kissed her. She was surprised and probably a bit shocked because she pulled away and looked at me with panic in her eyes.

"What are you doing?", She demanded, eyes big and round.

"I remember. I remember everything.", I simply explained and smiled. I felt like dancing.

"Really? You're not joking?", She just looked surprised, but not for the kiss. She didn't even mention it.

"I'm definitely not joking.", I stated and just kept on smiling. Her face split open in the biggest smile I'd ever seen and she hugged me. I was shocked, but I would never give up an opportunity to hug Sage. Never ever. I simply hugged back, and we stood there for several minutes, locked in an embrace. She was the one who ended it, but even then, she didn't let go of me. She seemed to struggle with herself. It was times like these when I wanted the ability to read minds. What was she thinking?

"This is incredible.", She spoke and took a step back. My arms felt empty without her in them. Her smile faded a bit and she crossed her arms against her chest.

"What's wrong?", I asked. She seemed distant.

"Nothing.", Her smile looked forced. What was going on?

"It sure is something. You haven't even scolded me for kissing you.", Apparently I hit a weak spot, because her smile went away and she looked worried.

"I need to go.", She simply said and before I had any chance of stopping her, she ran away. I was left all alone, my hand outstretched in a desperate attempt to bring her back. I had waited so long for her. I had looked for her when it was hopeless. I had kept on loving her when I didn't even remember her name. Nothing had changed my feelings for her when my memory disappeared. I just wanted her to be mine. I wanted the world to be a simpler place. I wanted all the things that kept us apart to disappear. Why couldn't everything be easier? Why couldn't she just love me while we still had the time and the chance to do so? We didn't know what our futures held, she could be sent of to Russia tomorrow if the alchemist felt it necessary. I just wanted us to make the best of the moment before the moment slipped through our fingers and reality ripped us apart. I dropped my hand and the feelings of hopelessness and loneliness washed over me. I started making my way back to my room. I wanted to be alone, preferably for the rest of eternity, but of course nothing went my way today. The next person to hug me was Jailbat, who somehow came darting around a corner and hugged me even before I saw her.

"I felt it. You're back.", She said and smiled big. She even giggled.

"Yes, yes I am.", I said. "Have you told anyone else?", I asked and she just shook her head.

"No, I wanted to find you first.", She practically beamed. That was until she saw my face. Then she wrinkled her forehead and looked sad. "She rejected you again?"

"I don't know. Kind of. I mean, she didn't really say 'No, we can never be' like last time, but she did run away before I had a chance to talk to her.", I smiled sadly.

"Oh Adrian, I'm so sorry.", She said. I hated the bond. She shouldn't go through my heart ache. She was so young, so innocent. I mean, I didn't regret bringing her back, I loved Jailbat, but I hated the price that I had to pay for her life. This bond just annoyed me. I couldn't keep anything to myself, and I really needed my privacy sometimes.

"Don't be.", I said. "It's not your fault."

"Okay.", She spoke. "Just, take it easy, okay? Things will turn out great, I just know it.", She smiled again and I smiled back. So positive and sweet.

"Okay.", I said and Jill started walking away.

"I'll talk to you soon, alright?", She asked and I nodded.

"Okay. Can you tell the people that I'm back? I need to be alone for a little while.", I said and she smiled again.

"Sure. Bye!", She then walked away and I resumed my walk to my room. I was just hoping that I wouldn't run into anybody else. I needed some time to think. I had been so stupid for just attacking her with a kiss like that. I should have known that she wouldn't take it well. I mean, at least last time, I had kind of prepared her for it. I made that big speech about how much she meant to me and all that, before I tried anything. But this time, I just did it. No talking, no explaining, just kissing her. One thing about Sage is that she needs things explained. She wants everything to be broken down into tiny pieces of logical information that she can store in her pretty little mind, too bad that love wasn't a thing you could do that with. You had to feel it. You had to breathe it. You had to let yourself be completely drowning in it. Or else it wasn't love. The thing was, what we had was love. That's why Sage couldn't comprehend it. She couldn't find a place for it in her logical mind. She couldn't comprehend it. She was lost. I opened the door to my room and went over to the bed. I lied down on my back and let my mind wander down all the different paths it could find. What if I had never met her? What would have become of me then? She had changed me in so many ways. She had helped me become something better. She had nudged me in the right direction. If I hadn't met her, would I have excelled as much as I had done now? I was the best I had ever been right now. All because of her. She was like a force, pulling and pushing me on the right path in life. Helping me move forward when my feet were tired and I felt like giving up. How would I ever tackle life without her? A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts and I forced myself to go open it. Outside stood Sonya, looking happy.

"I heard from Jill that you remember.", She simply said and I stepped aside to let her in.

"Yep, I don't know how good it is though.", I muttered and watched as she sat down in an armchair. I resorted to my bed.

"Yeah, I heard about Sydney. How are you feeling?", She asked, concerned. I just shook my head.

"I don't know. I just don't get her sometimes, you know?", I said and she nodded.

"I do. She is different. She seem like she's trying so hard to be herself but keeps getting pulled back by her profession.", Sonya spoke and looked lost in thought for a second. I waited her out. "But that's the thing, we have to respect her job. We have to respect that she can't to whatever she wants.", She looked me in the eyes sternly and I understood what she meant.

"I guess you're right.", I said and looked down on my hands. "I just don't want it to be that way."

"We can't always get what we want.", Sonya muttered.

"I know, I know. I just feel hopeless.", I muttered back and looked up at her. She was studying my aura. A small smile made it's way to her lips. "What?", I asked. What was she seeing.

"Your aura lights up when you talk about her. It's cute.", She said and looked amused. I just sighed. If only Sage could see that. If only I could win her over.

"Did you have any other reason to visit me other than the fact I have my memory back?", I asked and down on my hands again.

"No, not really. Just thought you needed someone to talk to, and I was right.", She smiled again and rose from her chair. "My work here is done.", She said and walked over to the door.

"Thanks for listening. And talking. Mostly talking actually.", I said and she looked over at me

"You are annoying sometimes, you know that right?", She asked, still smiling wide.

"Trust me, I know.", I answered. "Have fun potting plants or whatever it is you do on your spare time.", I said and she rolled her eyes.

"Bye Adrian."

"Bye Sonya.", She walked out the door and I was left alone again. Being alone with my thoughts in this kind of time was really dangerous. I usually ended up with thinking about the things that hurt the most and unconsciously let the shadows creep closer, waiting to grab a bite of my fragile mind. They scared me, the shadows. They were constantly lurking, constantly looking for an opportunity to attack me and overwhelm me. They scared me in so many ways. Having everything just blackout and to be lost in your own mind is one of the worst things a person can experience. It was worse than death. In death, you found peace. Being lost in insanity only left you fumbling and it made you loose your power of yourself. It was horrible. That's why I tried to never let my guard down, and if I did, I made sure to numb my mind with any kind of substance I could find. Being without my saviors for so long had really taken a toll on me. I was tired. Tired of everything. I wanted help, but the only one who could bring light into the darkness was running away from me. I didn't know what to do. I decided to go to sleep and try to solve this in the morning. No need to keep myself up with broken thoughts and memories, it had been a long day after all. Almost too long. I was looking forward to the sweet dark nothing that was sleep.

The next morning, I woke up and sat straight up in the bed. My sheets were tangled in my legs and I was haunted with by recent nightmare. It had been horrible, that much I could remember, but I couldn't remember what it was about. I just knew I had been running. Running, and stumbling, and tripping. I didn't know what from, or why, but I had been fleeing. I still shivered by the thought of it. I pushed the dream and the feeling of fear aside and got ready for the day. I assumed people would want to speak to me today. I was back after all. They just couldn't resist this Adrian. I was magnetic. I was just reaching for the door knob when somebody knocked. I opened up and found Rose standing there, a huge grin on her face.

"Heard you're back.", She simply said and studied my face. I nodded.

"Yeah, I guess I'm just that good.", I said and plastered on a proud expression. Rose just rolled her eyes.

"Shut up.", She said and moved to the side so I could walk out to her. We went outside and just strolled in silence for a while. It was nice. Peaceful. It felt better to go for a walk with my ex than being alone with my thoughts. Rose was the one who broke the silence.

"Have you talked to anyone else? Except Jill of course."

"Yeah, Sonya came by yesterday and I was with Sage when it all came back.", I muttered.

"Okay, how did it happen when you remembered?", She asked, sounding kind of careful. Like I was going to snap at her.

"Um, Sage showed me that golden cross of hers, and everything just came rushing back. I don't know why, but it did.", I answered and kicked a rock laying on the pathway in front of me. I didn't want to talk about this. I wanted to move on to a safer topic.

"That's good, I guess. How did Sydney take it?", She asked. I definitely didn't want to talk about this specific event.

"She took it okay. She was a bit shocked, I'll admit that, but not as shocked as expected.", I looked over at Rose for a second and saw that she was looking straight ahead, out into the darkness.

"I think you need to talk to her again. Whatever you did last time, talk about it with her. She has been acting weird since yesterday.", This time, I stopped and Rose did the same. We were facing each other and I looked into her eyes.

"What do you know now you little spy?", I asked. She had probably spoken to Sage. She probably knew everything. Shit.

"Plenty. Go talk to her know you weirdo, I can't stand your sad face. It's creeping me out.", She boxed me on the arm and walked away quickly. I watched her go as I held my arm. She had a mean punch.