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A/N: OMG guys. Do you all hate me? I know you probably do. ITs been HOW long since I last updated? Goodness knows i'm to scared to check.

Well you can blame college and a tiny bit of procrastination on my part but its msotly skl. Well my mid-terms were not brilliant but really good. So YAY for that. And if you want to have revenge on my skl, I can give you the address if any of you would want to burn it. Preferably before the start of my finals on December 11th. That would be awesome.

Anywho I think its necessary for me to give a brief summary on the last chapter, for those who hate turning back.

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Chapter 6: ... Lily and James went off to Harrow to get married on Thursday evening. They spent a dismal wedding night in seperate rooms before going back to London. By Sunday Lily had moved into James's flat and they both prepared to tell their friends that they were married and were expecting a baby. They left out the fact that they were not happily married like any other couple and let their friends think what they wanted. Now James's mum has come to visit. How will that turn out? Read and find out in...A Mother's Words.

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P.S. THIS CHAPTER IS EXTRA LONG FOR YOU...lol to make up for lost time. heehee. Thanks also to Anna who proofed.

Back in His Bed

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Chapter 7: A Mother's Words

"Can I get you anything?" Lily asked tentatively, after leading the older woman inside to sit, feeling a bit awkward.

She didn't know how to act, although that instinctive hug she threw upon her new mother-in-law was well received. Was Angela angry? It didn't seem like it because in point of fact she was smiling.

Was she happy for them then? Possibly, though, it was difficult for Lily to decide whether or not to play the happy newlywed when she herself thought it was quite obvious from her demeanour that she wasn't.

"No, its quite alright dear, you sit down too." Angela said indicating the space next to her.

"Uh," suddenly feeling the need to re-group Lily excused herself. "I think I'll change out of my work clothes first." She said and hurried out of the room.

She was thankful however, when she reached her bedroom that people from the living room were unable to see the corridor the led to the two bedrooms. She wouldn't know how to begin to explain that they weren't the normal husband and wife.

Changing into old denims and a huge t-shirt she didn't delay in going back into the living room. Somehow she knew Angela would suspect she was hiding from her if she lingered too long.

Taking a seat next to her, Lily tucked her feet beneath her and then after waiting a moment Angela looked at her and smiled, patting her hand gently.

"How are you feeling dear?"

"I'm okay, I suppose." She said then tentatively started on what she had wanted to talk to Angela about since the beginning—her pregnancy. "The nausea was especially bad on Monday but its lessoned down some." Lily continued rubbing her stomach gently. Then she looked up to smile wryly at Angie.

"Truth be told, I haven't had much of an appetite lately either."

"Oh that's normal in some cases, that will ease up soon and you'll be eating for two in no time." She said and Lily laughed.

"I had planned on asking the healer that on my appointment next week."

"Good," she said nodding. "Also ask about the nausea, because unfortunately some women have it throughout their pregnancies. It would be a good idea to find out if you're one of them, since she can probably recommend something to lessen them."

"Thanks, I will" Lily said smiling, relieved somehow.

"My pleasure dear," Angela remarked then looked as though she wanted to say something. It seemed she changed her mind for now because she looked about her instead. "The décor has changed a bit," she noted. "Your doing?"

"Uh," Lily cleared her throat. "Actually no, James changed it himself, about three weeks ago I think." She said diplomatically. It wasn't really necessary for his mother to know that he changed everything in his home because she touched it in some fashion.

"I see." The woman muttered then sighed "I suppose I have an idea on why he did that." She said then looked at Lily. "How are you doing dear, I mean really doing not just what you feel on the surface."

Lily struggled with an answer. How could she answer that? She would like to be honest with the other woman but she was still James's mother. There was no way she was going to come between that.

"Are you happy?"

"I love him more now than I ever did," was all she said, it wasn't answer but it was the truth. Happiness though…it wasn't something that one can come by easily. You can be content with your life, with what you have, but to be happy, to live a happy life, is something everybody wants but not what everyone has.

In the past four days she'd begun to notice his habits, his little quirks that he did day in and day out and just by seeing that, by witnessing those little things her heart felt fuller. It gave her a chance to imagine what might have been, how she would be involved in his daily habits if they were really and truly a normal married couple.

She knew she looked at him far too often for someone who was working towards not being in love with him. She also knew that one of these days he'd feel her gaze on him long enough for him to catch her in the act.

As it was, things were far too tense between them already. It couldn't be anything else since they've hardly had a normal conversation between each other.

Angela turned a shrewd gaze towards her. "That's not really an answer you know." She said and as Lily opened her mouth to protest Angela hushed her.

"No love, I think I understand," she said and patted Lily's hand. "My son has changed from the boy that he once was." A sigh flowed out.

"I—I know you told me before that he," she looked up, "that his trust was broken. Was he…was it a woman?" Shed had always assumed so and the hints from the past always seemed to confirm it.

Lily held her breath as the question came out. Did she honestly want to know about a woman who'd obviously made a huge impact on his life?

"It was a woman, yes," Angie said, "but—"

"Did he love," her voice broke, "her?"

"Ah Lily my love, it's not what you think." Angela said as she pulled the girl in for a hug. "It was just after graduation, if you remember me telling you. There was no time for him to fall in love with someone else so soon after you graduated. He'd still liked you even then you know. But this, this had to do with his uncle."

"Uncle?"

"Yes, he is not with us anymore."

"Richard's brother you mean?" Lily asked bemused. It was the only uncle she'd ever heard of, or rather the only uncle she knew James ever had.

"Yes."

"So James is the way he is because a woman betrayed his uncle?" Lily asked trying to keep the incredulous tone out of her voice.

"Lily," Angela chided a bit sad. "It was more than that, she betrayed James too; she was the worst sort of person. I can only hope my son understands the difference in what was then and what is now."

"I don't understand. I know you can't tell me and I'm not asking you too. I just wish—" Lily broke off and sighed. "I wish I knew more, I wish he'd tell me more, talk to me at least because its not helping, knowing that there is a reason he wont love me and not being able to do anything about it other than wait to see if he confides in me."

"I know you don't, I was only trying to tell you not to give up hope because you're the only one who belongs with my son."

Lily gave a short saddened laugh. "I don't think I'm what's best for him." She swallowed, telling Angela this may alter how the older woman thought of her.

She hadn't known this was bothering her this much but now that she was on the verge of spilling to Angela she knew it was eating her, keep secrets like this. How it bothered her this much when James couldn't find the need to trust in her feelings for him she didn't know.

"Come now don't think like that," Angela tried but Lily cut her off.

"He doesn't know about Rourke you know, I haven't told him that he's my cousin's husband nor the fact that he's my boss as well." She told her, still trying to work her way up to what she knew she should tell her, the most important thing.

"He demanded I stop "seeing" Rourke while we're married," she said and laughed warily. "Though how could he not see how I feel is beyond me."

"Well that just shows how jealous he is," Angela said smiling as if struck by the thought. "How he still cares."

"Angie, you of all people know how possessive he is where he cares for something or not, it has nothing to do with loving me. I'm his wife now, therefore I'm his." She said and fought the thrill she felt at the thought of belonging to him in more than just name only. "The ironic thing is both Rourke and Alana wants to take us out to dinner on Friday. I don't know who to deal with that. I can't lie to them, they'll know if I was."

"Honey I'm sure you'll work something out but—"

"There is no but…I've been so mixed up about everything." Lily said feeling a bit claustrophobic. "It's clear that what ever intimate feelings he had for me then is practically nonexistent now. We hardly say a word to each other and it feels as though we can't even be friends, the way everything is, it's so tense."

Lily gave a nervous twitch. She wanted to get a few things of her shoulders, voice some of the fears she had stuffed into the far recesses of her mind but she wasn't sure if it would be a good thing to say what she wanted to say in front of his mother, to his mother even.

"I can't let him take all the blame," she said wringing her left hand with her right. "I mean if it had been just him with all the secrets then it might have been easier for me to ignore our entire situation." She looked at Angela. "That I haven't told him about Rourke is one thing but," she said then stopped. It was difficult to go on, not knowing how this was going to change the other woman's perception of her.

"Go on love, don't worry about it. It can't be as bad as you think it is."

She swallowed before taking a deep breath and then not looking at Angela she went on. "I knew I was pregnant when I broke things off with James. I gave him a choice, to choose me willingly or go on without me. I knew we weren't going anywhere—that things weren't going to progress to a more permanent relationship but I still gave him an ultimatum anyway, he was being distant and it hurt." She finished it all with a gasp for breath before finally looking to see her mother-in-law's reaction.

It wasn't one she was expecting, however.

"Oh love, I had a feeling you were. When I saw you that day for lunch before my anniversary I knew something was the matter, I just hadn't quite put my finger on it. And then when James told us about your pregnancy I'd suspected you were going through a difficult time.

"I don't blame you lovie. As a woman I can't say if I had been you if I would not have chosen that route. Maybe I wouldn't have I don't know but I am sure that my pride would have made me done exactly that. What's done is done. I am not holding it against you and I am sure when the time for you to tell him comes, he would not as well."

You can't be sure. She thought distressed.

Seeing the misery on her face, however Angie decided to end that particular conversation.

"Just promise me something won't you?" she asked and Lily stared at her a bit wary.

"Now don't give me that complicated face Lily. I just want you to promise not to give up on him. I know its asking a lot of you but I hope you try and get past that fact that he's a bull-headed and irritating man like his father. When you get through to him you'll see, it'll all be worth it." She said then smiled. "You be the one to make the first move remember him for how he was back in school, or even when you were happy together."

Lily struggled to accept what the other woman was telling her but it wasn't easy. She almost laughed, nothing in her life so far had been easy. She just hoped she'd find some kind of happiness soon.

"I suppose I can but I'm not promising. He can get me madder than anything sometimes. He says the most arrogant things and believes that he's right. He drives me totally crazy."

Angela sighed. "Yes, I'm afraid that runs in the men in our family. Being obstinate is their trait." She said and then tilted her head a bit to study Lily. "You look tired though Lily, have you been resting much?"

Thankful for the change in subject though, Lily had to grimace at the question.

"Not exactly," she replied. "It's been hard trying to rest when there are so many things going on and when I do rest I don't sleep."

"Come on then, lie down for a bit. I'll stay a while so take a short nap."

"Oh no I couldn't do that," Lily waved the possibility away. It wasn't that she didn't want to sleep on Angela's lap, it was just so awkward. What if James came home? What if he got mad at her for doing so? She didn't think he would. He had never been that way but people change.

Why did things have to be like this? She was James' mother, not hers, and it wasn't as though they had the proper marriage that she could use Angela as a surrogate mother, or the mother she needed now when hers had died.

In a couple years when they've separated all she would be to the family was the baby's mother. She wouldn't have the right to bask in the warmth Angela's mothering.

Knowing selfishness was the cause, Lily assented to placing her head onto her mother-in-law's lap.

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James tugged at his tie as he closed the door behind him. He was feeling discontent lately. Although if he wasn't honest with himself he could claim that his wife wasn't the source of this feeling and live his days in complete denial but as it was he was honest with himself.

Having Lily live with him and not being able to touch her was becoming pure hell. How the hell did he fool himself into thinking that he'd seduce her into submission when he married her and they'd have at least that part of their marriage all normal like?

More and more as the hours passed between them, he would want to talk to her but couldn't and half the time he wished she ask him about something or say have something else to talk about besides the bloody weather.

That topic can only stand two sentences before the two of them would be back to saying nothing to each other.

How was it on Saturday they had dealt with everything and had at least spoken civilly with each other. He sighed and looked around, the flat seemed empty but oddly enough didn't feel that way.

Walking past the corridor he hesitated in calling out her name to see where she was, that is until he reached his living room and stopped in surprise to see his mother sitting on his couch with Lily's head on her lap.

She was sleeping and oddly enough seeing her that way he felt stunned by her fragility. She looked like a small child laying there and all he could do was nod his head in greeting to his mother.

"I called on you for a visit." She said softly after a few moments. "I know you wanted things to settle down for a while before you came to see us but I had to see how things are with the two of you."

When he said nothing his mother continued. "I know you don't appreciate me getting involved in your romantic escapades but this is Lily we're talking about not some trollop you always seem to have dangling on your arm."

Looking down at the girl on her lap she sighed sadly. "I wish you would think about things before you actually do them."

Somehow James was irritated by that statement. "What do you mean by that? I always think about my choices before I make my decisions."

"Not when it comes to Lily you don't." his mother replied sternly. "When are you going to realise that she is the best thing that's ever happened to you? She deserves better than the emotional rollercoaster you've put her through."

"You don't know what you're talking about." He said stubbornly refusing to consider that he was most to blame for their relationship.

"Maybe not, but I think its time you told her about why you cannot be with her one hundred percent."

"What are you on about?"

"What I'm on about my son is the fact that you're letting that woman cloud what you feel for Lily."

"That doesn't make sense, she doesn't bother me—she hasn't bothered me for two years."

"You love her James, I don't understand why you cannot realise it and Lily loves you, surely you see that much?"

"She doesn't love me mother and I can assure you have no idea about what I feel for Lily."

"What—hate?"

"Of course I don't hate her." He said shocked

Gently extricating herself Angela got up and eased a pillow under Lily's head.

"I know you don't hate her James, that's what I've been trying to get you to understand. Trust her, show that you trust her and everything else will fall into place."

James scowled he knew what his mother was trying to do but his mother made it sound like he had a trust problem.

"I'm not lacking in trust mother, I trust you, I trust dad, and I trust all of my friends, you're making it sound like have issues because of that bitch."

"Language James and I'm not saying you have trust issues with family and friends dear," she said and he noted the frustrated tone in her voice. "I'm saying you have trust issues with women, your women—period! Not that I'm saying you not trusting your former play things was a bad thing; that was good. You not trusting Lily, now that is a totally different situation."

"I do trust Lily mother," he said stiffly.

"Yes, I think you do but it hardly counts since its so little. If you trusted her, my son, you would open your heart to her. As it is…" she shrugged and turned and walked to the front door.

Before opening it she turned to James, who had followed her. "Try James, will you? Forgive the other because you've wronged each other then move on."

With that she then opened the door and walked out, closing it behind her.

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James stared at the door his mother just closed. He didn't know what to make of her cryptic words. His gaze moved on and stopped to where Lily lay still asleep on the couch.

His mother said not to wake her but from what his mother said she hadn't eaten when she got home.

Frowning, he decided he make something for her and force it down her throat if he had to because from what he had noticed these past couple of days was that she'd hardly eaten anything for breakfast or dinner. She might have had bigger lunches at work but somehow he doubted that.

Turning he headed for the kitchen where he proceeded to raid his ice box for something to put together.

When he was finished ten minutes later he took the plate and placed it, with a glass of orange on the coffee table before straitening.

James stood there looking at her, curled into sleep and a wave of nostalgia washed over him.

He used to look at her while she was slept, he remembered. Curled up next to him, she used to give out a purr-like snore, twitching her nose a few times before burying herself further into him.

He'd always relished the feeling of possessiveness that had rushed through him every time she did that. Her hair was in a tangle cloud about her face and he hardly noticed he knelt to get closer to her until he saw himself reach out with his hand to brush her face free.

Cupping her cheek, his heart skipped a beat when she moved into his touched and mumbled his name.

Not having the heart to think about what that meant and more importantly, how that made him feel, he removed his hand, sat on the coffee table and shook her shoulder gently.

"Lil," he murmured softly. "Lily."

"James," came her sleepy reply but she didn't wake up.

His breath caught, as a feeling of wanting washed over him. Lust stirred in him and he had the need, the urge to burry himself deep inside her warmth and stay there.

The feeling was made all the more tender by knowing that she carried his child, though, fighting the urge to kiss her awake, he shook her a bit harder and said her name a little louder "Lily."

Her eyes blinked open as she tried to focus on him before giving him a sleepy smile.

"Hey," she said her voice husky from sleep.

"Hey yourself," he said and couldn't help but respond to her smile with one of his own.

She sat up and as if remembering where she was and what she was doing she asked, "Your mum?"

"Mother left. She said not to disturb you but I know you haven't eaten anything." He said and picked up the plate he had set down before and handed it to her. "And I'm not only talking about today.

"I made you a ham sandwich and I know you like ketchup on it but we're all out." He said, finding it oddly pleasing that he said 'we'.

She stared at it for a few seconds before smiling brilliantly at him which in turn caused him to suck in his breath at the need that arose in him. He didn't understand why she affected him so.

"It's okay," she said. "And thanks I haven't had much of an appetite lately."

"I've noticed and I'd meant to speak to you about that. I was thinking about asking your healer about it."

She laughed lightly. "I was thinking the same thing." She said but when she looked at the plate she voice held an odd note. "Though I'm not so sure anymore, I feel hungry all of a sudden.

"When is your next appointment?"

"Next week. Why?"

"I was serious about asking your healer about you. I want to go with you next time."

"Oh okay," she smiled and told him the time.

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Opening her eyes, to see his handsome face looming over her felt like a dream so she thought nothing of it when he smiled back at her. And now looking at the food he handed her, Lily smiled again. She didn't know what brought about this sudden change but she liked it.

What Angela said, that she shouldn't give up, maybe she should listen, Lily thought faintly as she felt a warmth settling in her, a hope…that maybe he did care for her, at least a little.

She squelched the urge to hug him as she felt like doing since he announced that he made something for her to eat. That he had noticed she had been hardly eating these past few days was cheering, that he wanted to be with her when she went in for her check up felt wonderful.

She felt happy suddenly, which was completely contradictory seeing as how she was feeling frustrated and weepy just about an hour ago.

Looking at the appetising ensemble on her plate Lily had to smile and for the first time in days, she felt her stomach protest its hunger loudly. Whether it was the fact that James prepared it or her body finally felt like ingesting food she didn't know but she began to eat it.

Halfway through her food, James got up and headed for the kitchen and silly as she was she felt a sense of loss at his departure. Calling herself ten times the fool she took a drink of orange. She knew rationally, that he wouldn't just sit an watch her eat, it would be uncommon yet she felt herself wishing for it anyway.

A moment later however, he returned carrying his own food with. So he didn't desert me after all, she thought trying to make light of her relief to herself.

A few minutes passed and she was enjoying the calm silence between them until she remembered what she had to ask him today. The thought alone was enough to make let out a deep sigh.

"Why the long sigh?" he queried, startling her from her thoughts.

"Nothing really," she said. "Its just that my cousin Alana and her husband would like to take us out for a celebratory dinner." Should she tell him now about Rourke or wait? Merlin she didn't know.

"Really?" he asked, his tone giving naught of his feelings. "When?"

"Friday," she said feeling a bit wary. Lily had half hoped that he'd say he had plans, or rather 'they' had plans—though she didn't have to think about which she preferred when the latter sounded way nicer. Whatever, just take a deep breath and tell him.

"Friday's good, tell them that's fine. Let me know where they plan to treat us by tomorrow okay?"

"Uh—yes—sure—okay," she stammered out before raising her eyes to meet his. She suppressed a shiver of awareness as she made contact with his hazel gaze.

Wanting flowed through her. Merlin what his eyes did to her. He could always set her afire when those enigmatic eyes focused on her. The need to feel all of him was overwhelming. Tension zapped between them and Lily knew he wanted her as well.

She could have laughed. Well sex never ever was bad between them. It had always been an explosion of energy fluidity between them. Their relationship had been based mostly on sex and it had ended up being the deciding factor on whether she should stay with him for as long as the sex lasted.

Then she'd gotten pregnant and that had cinched it. Now though she didn't know where things stood between them. Falling back into the old way was easy enough but to many things had passed between them these past few weeks.

"You should rest," James said suddenly breaking the tension between them.

"What"

"You look tired, and mother did say not to wake you so I think its bedtime for you." He said lightly.

"I'm fine, your mum made me sleep on her lap," she said grinning striving to be light as well. Neither of them were ready to make this into a serious discussion.

"Mother has a knack for forcing people into things they'd rather not do," he replied wryly.

"I didn't mind," Lily said and moved to get up. "Your mum is the best."

"Then you can have her," he said eagerly, his face amused and breaking into a devilish grin. "Take her she's yours."

Lily laughed. "I don't think it works that way but I might use her from time to time."

"Mi mama es su mama," he said grandly, getting up to bow.

"Right," she said, now standing next to him. "I think I'll take you up on that." And then surprising them both she reach up and kissed him – lightly on the cheek.

"Thanks James," she said blushing a little at her forwardness and turned and made for her bedroom.

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James's hand went to his face, touching the spot unconsciously.

What just happened?

All he knew was that he was enjoying himself for the first time in weeks, they were both laughing together and then …she kissed him. Albeit on the cheek but he had checked himself from reaching out to take hold of her and kissing her in more imaginative ways.

Merlin. What was going on with him?

He was feeling so odd, so out of sorts. He hardly ever joked around anymore and that light brush of lips against his skin did nothing for his piece of mind. It made him ache for things. Things that can't be. Things that should not be but he cannot help but ache for it.

Now the only question is what is he going to do about it.

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Please Read and Review!!!!!!!!

Luv ya guys

Oh and Christmas Fics are on the horizon. It'll either be one or two

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