This is a work of fanfiction and I absolutely have no gain but charming friends and the reviews of readers. All recognizable characters and situations are the property of S. Meyer. The rest is all me.
I would apologize for the time it takes to update, but it takes time to write and edit a big chapter! Once again, I bow with a flourish to Chef Diamondheart, my awesome and remarkable Beta. She keeps me in line and at some point should probably be considered a co-author. To my pre-readers, Bragi151, WolvesCanEatMe, and little furry cannibals: you folks make the world turn. Your input and reactions help guide my thoughts. Please check out their fics and leave them love. (There have been updates!)
Please enjoy chapter 16.
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Jake POV
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The glow from her goodnight kiss faded when I saw Charlie wave to me as we passed on the road between Forks and La Push. Even in the dark and glare from the headlights I could make out the dark shadows under his eyes. I was a dick for being happy on a day like this, but part of me couldn't help it. I thought about Leah and Seth and immediately needed to check on them, knowing I'd never sleep no matter how tired I was until I knew they were okay.
My dad was in the kitchen waiting for me, the television reporting on a pair of homicides from Seattle. His face was grim so I changed the channel.
"How's Sue?" I asked as I went to my room to change into a pair of beat up shorts.
"Okay. I think Old Quil is there right now, along with a few cousins." My newly sensitive ears could hear how weak and tired his voice was. I came back out of my room and sat with him. He gave me a weary smile. "It's my night off. We start taking turns with her tomorrow. Charlie leaving town is going to give us all an extra shift."
I nodded and then realized what he had said. "Charlie's leaving town? Why? What about Bella?" My dad raised his hands as I started to spin up.
"It's for work, and to reconnect a little. He's leaving Thursday and will be back Monday or Tuesday."
Anxiety gripped my chest and I tapped my hands on the table. He reached across the table to still them, forcing me to control myself.
"Charlie asked me yesterday morning. He doesn't want her to stay by herself and no place in town seems right. He thinks she'll be safest out here since no stranger can set foot here without being noticed."
My brain fired off one blast of brilliance before descending into stupid. "So...she's staying here? At La Push?"
He chuckled. "She'll be staying here with us." He ignored that I nearly fell out of my chair. He was cool that way. "Get your sisters' old room ready. No one is sure what house their old furniture is in anymore, so Sue loaned us an inflatable mattress." He raised an eyebrow. "Leah and Seth dropped it off a little while ago."
Used furniture made the rounds on the rez, but the real message was received. My packmates were here on a minor errand, probably looking for me. I swallowed my inappropriate reactions and stood to help my dad get ready for bed so I could go find them.
Fifteen minutes later I headed out the door and found them sitting on the logs by the fire pit. They'd built a small fire and were just watching the flickers and sparks, leaning on each other. I approached and patted Seth on the shoulder as I sat on another log.
Seth looked up and a corner of his mouth pulled up a bit before dropping again. Leah barely acknowledged me but sat up a little.
"You guys slept lately?" They shrugged. I wasn't a master at this sort of thing, but I remembered the exchanges between Sue's friends and how they didn't want to leave her alone. Why were her kids alone?
"You phased lately?"
Leah spoke. "Not since the run with you." It was a flat and hollow response. The three of us had been mostly alone on that hard patrol before the funeral started. We had run the outer perimeter as fast as we could, barely communicating anything beyond sight and smell and no one had butted in for any length of time. Leah and Seth had put their father in the ground afterwards, and they looked it.
I frowned. "Why are you here?"
Seth winced and Leah rubbed his back. He looked directly in my eyes. "Because I can't keep my shit together." He dropped his head back down on his chest, a tear tracking over his nose. Leah looked at me helplessly.
"He's got this urge to guard and protect, but he gets set off by anything." Seth leaned against his sister and she put an arm around him.
I realized that the pack had failed Seth. We had assumed that Leah was the weak link and ignored him, just training him enough to get him through. The rest of the pack had gone off to cry or take care of their business, but I was here now.
"Leah," I stood and swallowed my nervousness. He was going to know everything that had happened today if I did this, but it was too important to get squeamish or have secrets. "Leah, go home to your mom. I've got him." She shot me a look that might have singed my eyebrows, but she nodded and stood up with Seth for a hug and walked off.
Seth looked at me nervously. "I didn't mean to freak out, man. It just…happened."
I shrugged. "It's okay, man. You weren't ready for all of this." I realized how dumb that sounded. "Hell, none of us were ready for this. Besides, I think I'm gonna owe you." Seth gave me a sad but curious glance. "Trust me; you'll see what I mean. Let's hit the trees. We should practice."
…
My dad had gone to bed, thank god, and before I collapsed onto my narrow mattress I faintly wondered why Sam hadn't been around to help Seth. That thought was quickly extinguished by my head sinking into the pillow that still smelled like Bella.
I dreamt of her being under my roof.
...
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP
Noooooooooooooo.
I dug my head into the pillow as far as I could, knocking the alarm off the bedside table as I flailed. Something saw fit to take mercy on me and it turned off when it hit the floor.
I flipped onto my back, my pillow pulled over my eyes and felt the tingle over my skin as the previous day came back to me. God, my bed still smelled like her and it was all I could do not to roll in it. The idea of a giant wolf wallowing in my small bed made me smile. I grinned even wider at the idea of telling her because she'd probably blush and smack me.
The way Bella blushed...everywhere. Wow
Seth got an eyeful of that a few times while we practiced. He got a little slack-jawed and I reminded him that our minds were our own, even if they weren't very private. It ended up being a lesson in phasing and self-discipline for the poor kid after that. He did give me a little high five, though.
I leaned over to pick up the alarm clock, groaning a little as I reached. Every muscle ached from the hard run, the tension, and the endless night of phasing with Seth. It must have been past three when I got back home, and Seth looked worse than me. It was a good thing no one expected him at school, but unfortunately I had to go.
Today was the first day back at school at the La Push Tribal School. Classes were cancelled yesterday in respect for the passing of an elder; the student body -all eighty of us- were encouraged to attend the services.
It was also the first day back for most of the pack. Embry, Quil, Seth, Leah, and I had all phased during the break. The school had no idea what was about to come striding through the wooden doors. Jared had already earned his GED and Paul was nearly done with his. Sam was already out of school when he phased months ago, so the older three of the pack were in the clear, and yet unavailable to help us. We were on our own today.
I rolled onto my back and listened for movement from my dad's room. The scrape of paper against his fingertips told me he was awake and reading. I stifled my impulse to dwell on the day before too much and hauled myself out of bed to go help him.
I knocked on his doorframe as I walked in. "Morning, dad. You okay?" He looked up from the book.
"Yeah, I'm fine." His eyes skimmed over my face. I hadn't looked in the mirror yet, but his expression told me that I didn't look so good. "Rough night?"
"Seth." My dad nodded and didn't say much else as I hoisted him up and helped him into fresh clothes. I promised to help him with a shower later and he started to shoo me out to get ready for school. I started a pot of coffee, dove through the shower, and had his breakfast ready by the time he was in the kitchen. My breakfast, of course, took a little longer.
Quil and Embry were nervous wrecks when I picked them up. Embry, normally willing to bet on even a game of rock-paper-scissors, wasn't even willing to wager on how long he'd last in school. I was better, but I felt the prickles all over my skin and I bounced my leg constantly. I watched my brothers wiggle in their chairs through first period as my desktop jumped from my knee bashing into it. Second period was worse. Quil actually started to sweat and shift around, looking at the door. By the end of the class Embry was doing the same and I felt like a caged animal. We glanced at each other when the teacher turned her back to write on the blackboard. We needed to see sky, grass, trees, anything that wasn't beige block or wood panels.
The teacher glared at me and I realized I was clicking my pen over and over. Embry whined. Quil started to look green and dashed for the door, his hand over his mouth. I squirmed in the low desk. If I raised my heels the whole desk would lift off the floor.
When the bell rang ending the class, Embry and I dashed out of the classroom and took a detour outside. A few older kids were smoking by the doors and looked at us like we were insane, but we took gulps of fresh air.
"Dude, I can't do this anymore." Embry panted. "I need to get out of here."
I caught my breath faster. "C'mon. Make it through one more class. I'll be there, too. You can do it."
"Why? How can we sit through a whole day of this shit? I'm gonna go fucking crazy in there!" He took a few steps away from the smokers and lowered his voice. "Paul and Jared did GEDs, they couldn't hack this either. No one really expects us to do this, right? It's all just for show!"
"I don't know. We need to try. Sam knew this would be tough, but maybe he didn't realize how bad since he was already graduated." I shrugged.
We leaned against the wood siding and looked out at the horizon until the other students started filing back in, stubbing out the cigarettes on their way to the doors. Embry looked at me, eyebrows raised, and I turned to grab the door before it closed. He took a deep breath and followed me back inside.
Third period was not bad for me, but Embry was reaching his breaking point. Both our stomachs were growling and while I could almost ignore it, Embry's neck rolled with his constant fidgeting and twitching. He popped his ankles and scratched his head, fiddling with his cropped hair that stood out in the room.
The bell rang again and he bolted out the door, barely glancing back at me. I followed him out the doors and watched him run for the nearest bit of forest, untucking his shirt as he ran. I slammed my lunch down, sitting outside and staring at the woods hoping he would come back.
He didn't. I vowed to get through the whole day even if it meant shedding in the halls.
I sat in fourth period, concentrating on quieting the pin-pricks of heat on my back when the principal, Mr. Zantua, came in.
"Jacob? Can you come with me?"
I pried myself out of the desk, the edge catching on my belt buckle and it crashed to the floor when I stood up. Little snickers rose in the room and I felt my face flush, but I cracked my knuckles and glared at the dozen other students. Maybe it was who I was, or maybe it was the fact that I was a giant that growled, but they stopped laughing right away. I was in no mood.
He closed the door behind me and we walked down the hall toward the office. I assumed he was going to interrogate me about all my friends being gone and I bit my tongue. Hard.
"Jake, your dad called and he asked that we send you home. He says he needs your help."
I let out a sigh of relief, but was immediately worried. "Did he say what was wrong?"
The principal signed me out and handed me a pass. "He didn't say, but he didn't sound bad. Just said he needed you to come home." I turned to leave when Mr. Zantua called me.
"I know you're under a lot of pressure, Jake, and we all really admire how well you take care of your dad. You know there's no harm or shame in attending an alternative school. There's a really good one in Forks" His voice was carefully light and smooth, offering the right amount of encouragement without putting me on the spot.
"I'm fine, sir. Really." The words strangled out of me, the urge to get out of doors pressing against my ribcage.
"Just think about it, okay?"
I hurried out of the school and drove home. When I walked in the house, my dad was at the table with a sandwich. He stopped mid-bite when he saw me, leaving tiny indentations in the bread before setting it down and pushing it away.
"You got a letter, Jake." He picked up an envelope and set in on the table in front of my usual chair. I sat down and read the address.
"This is a mistake, dad. It's addressed to 'Mr. Black.' Last time I checked, that was you." I smirked. "Not that I mind getting yanked out of school."
He took the letter back from me and turned it over. A deep red blot of wax sealed the envelope closed with an impression of an oval with a lion pressed into it.
Who the hell uses sealing wax?
"As far as the treaty is concerned, I am no longer Mr. Black," he pushed the envelope back into my hands. "You are."
...
Mr. Black,
I have amended the treaty to accommodate the recent changes in our respective parties. I will bring prepared copies to the usual meeting place and can assure you that all principles will be in attendance.
My second and I have made arrangements and will be available starting Thursday night. If it is possible, I would like to meet with you and Mr. Uley on that night, as it will be one week since our last meeting and Mr. Uley had suggested the date. Would you be so kind as to leave a message if this day is convenient?
Please give my regards to the elder Mr. Black and Mr. Ateara.
Respectfully,
Dr. Carlisle Cullen
PS: I will bring the pens.
...
Sam met me in the garage while I looked over the manual for the latest job. His eyes scanned the heavy page and he tapped his knuckles on his teeth as he read. He ran his fingers over the wax on the envelope, crumbling a bit of it in his fingers.
"So, what do you think?" I asked as he reread the letter.
"I think there are going to be two vampires at our next meeting. One I haven't met." Sam folded the letter and tucked it back into the envelope. I took it back and set it on my toolbox, grabbing my wire cutters. "You need a longer set of wires than that, Jake."
I kneeled on the backseat and peeled the cover back. "You're the one who forced him to choose a new second. Besides, maybe this one will run off, too." I gave the new wire a little tug. "No, I don't. You're just incapable of wiring anything without two feet of wiggle room."
Sam looked over the new set of speakers I was installing for one of the many Clearwater cousins. If I was home from school I might as well do a little work, right? I seated the first one and clamped the new wires together, then tucked them down before laying the cover over it all.
"We should figure out what we want from them, Sam. Do we want the Cullens patrolling, making contact with the other vamps, or hunting them?"
He poked at an old speaker, knocking loose flakes of corrosion that peppered the floor. "I'm not sure. I guess it sort of depends on who he brings as his second, too. If it were the other guy I'd say the Cullens should try to talk them. He was one smooth talking pretty boy." We both snorted. "I never met the rest of the coven. Billy and I only had the one meeting with them together when I became the second."
I walked around to the other side of the car and Sam handed me the new speaker. When I finished with it I sat down on the seat and swung my legs out of the car. He fidgeted with my wire spools, putting them back in order by gauge.
"I think we need to tell the pack, Sam."
He dropped a spool. "Tell them what, exactly?" He replaced it and leaned against the bench with his arms crossed.
"That things are changing. That there's a threat and we may have to work with an ally to destroy it." I stood up and put my wire snips away. "That it could be dangerous to all of us."
"They already know it's dangerous." Sam's face went a little red even though he didn't raise his voice. "We have to protect them. All they need to know is that we're handling it."
"Handling what, boss man?" Quil strode into my garage. I watched Sam as he patted Quil on the back like any affectionate brother, lapsing easily back into his role of calm authority. I opened my mouth but Sam shot me a look. Quil looked at both of us and waited for an answer. I bristled but grabbed the keys and flicked on the car's accessories and popped a tape into the ancient player, turning up the volume when I heard the gears grab the tape.
"Handling the new sound system, man." Quil grinned widely and Sam snickered as the theme from Indiana Jones played loud and clear through the new speakers.
I stole glances at them as I broke down the boxes, wondering what drove Sam's decisions these days.
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Bella POV
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I didn't live in complete isolation, so I sort of knew what to expect when I walked into the bathroom Tuesday morning, but it still didn't quite prepare me for the ordeal that emptying my bladder would become. In spite of the sting and burn, I smiled as I thought about how that happened. Jake had been both commanding and vulnerable, man and boy, and I found myself enthralled at the mere thought of being in his arms again.
I got ready for school and went downstairs for breakfast. There was a scribbled note on the table, torn from one of my dad's yellow notepads reminding me to come straight home after school. I think I'd never been more thankful that my dad left early. Something made me worry that he would know. Even though he loved Jake, I'm just not sure how to have that conversation.
When I pulled into the parking lot at Forks High, I took a deep breath. So much had happened in the preceding week, and no one had any clue. To them I was still the Zombie- present but unaccounted for. I had been a little better by the time we went on Spring Break, but was still stiff and silent. Now I talked, laughed, and loved...all because of Jacob.
Hardly anyone had noticed that I was not here on Monday except for Mike and Jessica. They both gave me a friendly greeting and promised to talk more during lunch. The teachers noticed, too, but most of them knew about the funeral and didn't ask.
My study hall was right before lunch, and this semester Mr. Banner had agreed to lead a science study group. He wanted to give the kids who were in his Bio 2 AP class exposure to college level science and a handful of students applied for a spot right away. I was dragged by the tide and applied because I would have been the only one from last year's class who didn't apply.
I gingerly set my bag down first at the table where I had sat with Edward, then thought better of it and moved up to a table at the front of the lab. Why sit in the back with just ten people in the classroom? Besides, there were no more whispers begging for caution, and no demands for my loyalty anymore. All that remained was the lingering soreness in my heart.
Edward wasn't here anymore, and neither was that Bella.
Tyler and Lauren came in and sat. He started to unwrap a sandwich and Mr. Banner looked up from his notes.
"I know this isn't for a grade, but it is still my lab and classroom, Tyler." As Mr. Banner stood, Tyler pushed the sandwich back in its baggie. I almost laughed because Jake would have swallowed it whole and snuck another one in as he closed his bag. Tyler's lunch looked almost dainty.
"Alright, let's get started, folks." Mr. Banner held up a couple pages of notes and walked to the board. "What do you remember about the immune system?"
"It's adaptive" Mr. Banner wrote adaptive on the board.
"It recognizes self and non-self."
"There are specialized cells and enzymes that can damage or engulf threats."
A half dozen more attributes were tossed around and Mr. Banner set his marker down. "Okay, that's a good start. Let's talk about some basics. You all recall that there are innate responses and adaptive responses. Innate responses are more primitive in nature, but they are pretty effective. They include mechanical barriers like your skin, inflammation, and the cell types that eat, or phagocytose, particles or pathogens they see as a threat. Even single celled organisms have features of innate response. Adaptive responses are unique to higher order organisms and includes the B and T lymphocyte cells that carry structures for recognizing specific targets, as well as learning and creating a memory of past of past targets." Mr. Banner looked around at the room, "Everyone still with me? The break wasn't that long!"
We all snickered and he continued to touch on topics for the week including antibody types, immunological memory, autoimmunity and hypersensitivity. I raised my hand and Mr. Banner raised his chin and eyebrows at me. "Bella?"
"Isn't hypersensitivity like an allergy?"
He squinted a little and glanced at his notes. "Well, the term hypersensitivity actually covers many things, including allergies. The extreme allergy response is anaphalaxis, and a milder reaction could be an inflammation type response, but against something that is not an actual threat, sort of. It also covers things like eczema and dermatitis to lupus and multiple sclerosis. The immune system is incredibly complex and some very odd things can happen when it's disturbed."
I nodded and he glanced around again. "Any other questions before we move on? No? Okay, our immune cells aren't just a major defense against infectious disease but also cancer and even parasites and toxins..."
...
I sat down at my usual spot at the lunch table and picked at my plate. I wasn't interested in the conversation, but unlike before the break -and everything that happened- I actually listened. When Tyler boasted about his trip to Portland, I hummed in admiration, and when Lauren bragged about meeting him one night I gasped in conspiratorial appreciation with everyone else. Jessica and her family went on a trip together and I 'awwwed' when she described her adorable nieces and nephews.
Jessica looked me over and gave me a curious half smile.
"It looks like your break went well, Bella." The statement was left open and I knew I could make or break my return right here. Jessica waited patiently as my mouth fell open and I searched for a scenario to offer.
Time stopped and the table's eyes were on me. Tyler swallowed and gave me his attention, Lauren huffed at losing the spotlight and Mike gave me a sympathetic look, nodding in encouragement.
I tucked my lips in my mouth and bit down a little as I found my words. "Uh, yeah. It was...nice."
Time ticked again and Jessica hummed in acknowledgment before stabbing her salad thoughtfully. "What made it nice? I thought I heard there was a funeral?"
She took a bite and chewed expectantly. She was being very thoughtful, trying to include me but not realizing that everything that made the week good was...well...sort of unbelievable. Or not something I'd share.
Mike jumped in and saved me. "Bella worked a couple shifts and I went with her and one of her friends from La Push last Friday...er...before I got sick." I shot him a grateful look and he played it off, fiddling with his can of soda. Between his job and playing sports, he kept his nails trimmed to the quick and I watched the ritual begin.
The tab twanged twice, Mike swore, and Jessica reached over without looking, popping the can open with ease and giving Mike the usual shy 'You're Welcome' smile. I'd seen it play out dozens of times, but this time was slightly different. Mike looked at the can before taking a swallow, pausing to consider.
"Thanks, Jess."
"You're welcome, Mike." I smiled to myself at the familiar pattern before she turned back to me. "So who's the friend?"
"Jacob Black." Mike preempted. "You guys remember him from a bonfire at the beach last year? Skinny kid who dropped by during the pr-" Jessica elbowed him in the ribs.
Lauren wrinkled her nose up. "Isn't he, like, young?"
Mike beat me again. "If he is, you can't tell now. The guy is huge and looks like he's in his twenties."
I cleared my throat to break up the discussion. "I've known Jake my whole life and our dads are best friends." I strained to define what we were in a way they could understand. "We, ah, have a lot in, uh, common." I stammered weakly.
The table descended into awkward quiet as my schoolmates exchanged knowing "yeah, right" glances. I was on the verge of escaping to the restroom when Mike reached into his bag and pulled out a sheet of paper.
"Oh, my mom asked me to give this to you. It's the latest work schedule and your next shift is Friday after school. Cool?"
"Cool. Thanks." I took the sheet and tucked it away. The table hummed back into conversation, turning their attention to their next classes or plans for the coming weekend. Jessica gave me a pleased look. She didn't catch the look Mike was giving her, which was a shame. I was pretty sure she was going to see it soon, though.
…
The rest of the day flew by and I was actually a little interested in my classes. I knew everything we were covering, and I had an 'A' in every class, but I hadn't been engaged in anything until now. I found myself embarrassed by the apathy I must have displayed to my teachers.
That apathy was nothing compared to what I must have shown Charlie. As I drove home I resolved again to atone somehow, but nothing really seemed worthwhile. I could always start with dinner, though.
As soon as I got home I scoured through the kitchen. It had been a couple days since I'd been to the store and feeding a few wolves had made a dent in my refrigerator. I had half a jar of tomato sauce, some mushroom sauce from the sandwiches, a few chopped veggies, and other random odds and ends.
I sighed. Charlie wasn't a big fan of meatless meals, but I wasn't about to risk getting caught in town when I was sure everyone knew I was supposed to be home. I could call him and ask him to bring something home, but I had no idea when that would be since he was going to be late making arrangements for his trip.
I dug my phone out of my bag and held down the '2' button. There were three rings and I started composing my message when there was a loud rattling as it was picked up hastily, half dropped, and then lifted steadliy.
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Jake POV
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I showered after a quick run around the rez and made a snack to share with my dad.
"Jake, I need you to take me over to Sue's this afternoon."
I nodded, knowing that it was my dad's turn to sit with her and make her eat and do anything other than stare at the wall. She needed to take care of herself in order to take care of Seth and Leah. The burden of the living was to live, after all, and they sometimes just needed a little prodding to remember how at times.
We gathered up a few things she might like to do or read and I helped my dad into the car. It was wet again today and the rain slopped across the windshield on the way to the Clearwater home. Leah was there to let us in and I settled my dad into the living room with a cup of tea next to Sue. My pack sister waved to me from the kitchen and I headed in after her.
She handed me a slab of one of the random coffee cakes left over from the day before and a cup of coffee.
"I don't drink coffee, Leah."
"You do now. If I can't get drunk, I can at least get a little wired. There's sugar and creamer in the fridge."
I doctored the cup until it was drinkable and took a bite of the cake. "How are you, Leah?"
She put the cup down. "You know, it's funny. You're the first person to ask." She took a bite of cake, scraping up the frosting. She wasn't angry, she just sounded a little confused. "Everyone asks about Seth and Mom, but everyone seems to think I'm the tough one. Why is that?"
"Have you ever thought that maybe you are the tough one?"
"It doesn't feel like it." She said into her coffee cup before drinking the rest down. I finished my own, hoping she wouldn't refill it.
"Leah, I still say there's something important for you. Give it time."
"I told you, I'm giving it a month." She stated flatly, her attention firmly on her plate.
We stood in the kitchen eating cake and thinking to ourselves. I could only think of one more thing I needed to know, though now I felt like a jerk for asking.
"I have to ask, and he's not here. How's Seth?" Leah finally looked up, smiled, and gave me another slice of cake.
"He's okay. He's doing as many patrols as he can to stay tired and focused. Right now he's with Embry and Paul." She grimaced. "If they corrupt my little brother I'll make sure they never have puppies." Leah looked at me thoughtfully, "Thanks, by the way. For last night."
"For what?"
"For kicking me out and taking care of Seth. None of the other guys were around, not even Sam. I understand they all have lives too, but I thought of any of them, Sam would have come to help." She was more sad than bitter. "I couldn't help him. He needed you."
"You're welcome." It was all I could think to say.
I said goodbye to Sue on my way out and told my dad to call when he needed a ride. When he asked where to call I just shrugged and told him to check around. My dad smiled gently and nodded, telling me to say hi to Charlie if I saw him tonight.
On the drive home I thought about what Leah said about Sam. I understood why the rest of the pack may not have stuck around for too long at the funeral; for most of us, the real grieving occurred the night of the bonfire. But it bothered me that Sam didn't think to watch over the youngest member of the pack.
I liked Sam, I really did, and I respected him, but it just wasn't right.
I pulled back into the gravel in front of my house and heard the phone ring as I walked to the door. I slammed the door into the wall accidentally as I groped for it, dropping it once it slipped through my wet hands. There was a hole in the wall where the knob had punctured it.
Something else to fix.
"Dammit. Hello?"
"Uh, Jake?" Bella's voice was a little timid.
"Oh, I'm sorry Bells! I just, uh, had a little…accident."
"Are you okay?" As if I could get hurt.
"Sure, sure. I'm fine. Uh. How are you? Did you have a good day?" My guts twisted. Were we really going to have this conversation like this?
"I'm...good. School was okay." I bobbed my head like she could see me, then we were both silent. The seconds ticked off. I counted to eight and then gave up.
"Uh, Bella?"
"Yeah Jake?" She said quickly, as if she'd been waiting, too.
"I don't really know what to say. This situation didn't come with a manual."
"Oh my God," She giggled out nervously. "I was thinking the same thing. It just feels like we shouldn't be on the phone."
I sighed in relief. I wasn't the only one. "So, what do we do?"
"Well, I have a solution," Her voice brightened. "I need something for dinner and if I show my face at the store, half the town will tell my dad. Your mission, should you choose to accept it-" I snorted and she just giggled at me. "Is to bring the last couple of ingredients for dinner."
The awkwardness eased with our laughter. "Would I get to eat some of this dinner? That's a major consideration."
"Of course. Maybe even dessert."
"Bells, that's the best news I've heard all day. By a long shot. What do you need?"
...
I pulled into Bella's driveway around four-thirty. I set down the bag from the store and tapped at the door. She yanked it open and I couldn't help myself. I didn't even give her a chance to say hello before I had her in a big hug. Instead of her usual head on and carefully matched hug, she meshed herself to me and stood so every inch of us touched, nearly to our ankles. I wanted to squeeze her like I usually did, but I thought of something that made me pause.
It was about Kim and Jared. I remembered what I'd seen in Paul's mind about them and I worried.
"Did you bring the groceries?" Bella snapped me out of my thoughts and I stepped back to the porch to retrieve the bag.
"Right here. Two pounds of Italian sausage and a bag of frozen peaches. That was all, right?"
"Yep. Thanks!" She turned to put things away and I watched as she moved. She looked okay, but then I didn't really know what to expect. When she turned back I saw that she was blushing.
We were both a little nervous.
"Bells?"
"Do you like peach crisp, Jake?" She bustled around and got out a dish.
"Bells, are y-"
"How about buckle? I'm not as big a fan of the biscuit topping, but if you like it..." She trailed off and looked at the floor. "Ummm."
I walked over to her and lifted her up to sit on the counter, then stepped between her legs and wrapped her in a soft hug. I kissed her cheeks, her nose, and finally her lips before she relaxed and wrapped her arms around my neck, humming. I rubbed her back and felt her tension ease. When her head dropped back a little and she sighed I decided I could ask.
"Bells, just relax. I don't care what you cook as long as you like it." I brushed her hair back and she opened her eyes. "I need to ask you a, uh, difficult question."
"You know you can ask me anything."
I dropped my arms and held her hands. "Are you okay? I mean, you're not hurt or anything, right?"
She blushed deeply. The color flamed over her face and onto her neck. "I'm pretty, um, sore."
I tried to swallow but my tongue had inconveniently forgotten how to work. I tried to speak but it came out a strangled whisper. "Did you...bleed?"
A light sheen broke out across her face and she nodded.
I was afraid to touch her. I'd hurt her and didn't even realize it when it happened.
I pulled my hands back and stared out the window, unable to look her in the eye.
"Jake?" She touched my temple lightly with her cool fingertips, stroking them into my hairline. It was meant to sooth but I flinched.
"Jake, listen to me. It's normal." She sighed and pulled her hand away. "I didn't grow up in a cave, you know. Girls talk."
I wiped my hands down my face. I knew she was right, I just prayed that somehow we'd be different.
"I'm sorry, Bells. I just sort of hoped we would've skipped that part."
She responded by wrapping her legs around me and drawing me into a very close and reassuring hug. It reminded me of the full body hug she'd given me the day before, after we made love.
I could think it to myself now, at least. We made love.
"Jake," she sighed to me. "I wouldn't have skipped any of it for the world."
…
Somehow Bella had taken what would have been a pile of random ingredients and made a damn good and filling meal of pasta, peppers, sausage and half a dozen other things and some sauces that she mixed all in one pan. I must have filled my plate three times. She wrapped up servings for Charlie and my dad, pretty much wiping out what was left of it.
I thought I was full, until I smelled the peach crisp in the oven.
She was about to dig me out a dish of it when Charlie walked in. It was late, and he looked like he'd had a hard day.
"Hey, Bells. Nice to see you Jake. How's Billy?" Charlie slipped off his jacket and holster, hanging them up on the brass hook that had long ago had its finish worn off by these motions.
"He's okay, sitting with Sue this evening." He sat down and by the time he had the napkin in his lap, Bella had the plate reheated and on its way to the table with a glass of water. He took a bite and gave Bella the same appreciative smile I did.
"Is Sue alright?" He asked softly, scooting chunks of vegetables around.
I thought back to this afternoon. Sue had sat with her cup of tea, nibbling at whatever was nearby and eventually giving in to playing a game of dominoes with my dad. "She's doing good, considering. Leah and Seth are okay, too."
Charlie just nodded and concentrated on his plate until it was empty. The aroma of the peach crisp was tantalizing and tested my resolve to wait until Charlie was finished. I admit that I cleared his plate the moment he scooped up the last noodle, though.
We were all more relaxed with dessert on the way, little scoops of ice cream melting over the peach slices and crumbled topping.
Bella told Charlie about her day, and I gave the Cliff notes version for mine. Charlie seemed pleased that Bella had anything to say at all about school and her friends there..
"This is really good, Bells." Charlie noted with mouth full of the crisp and Bella beamed. "You think you can make more tomorrow?"
"You want it again?" She teased.
"Well, I think Andy and John might like it. I'd forgotten that they'd be staying in town tomorrow night so we can get everything done on Thursday before we leave." Charlie grimaced apologetically. "I know it's last minute notice, but is it alright if they come for dinner? Drew might join us, too."
Bella smirked at him. "Of course they can come over and play. Should I get some flashlights so you can tell ghost stories?"
He gave her a playful pout. "Think about what you'd like to make and leave me a grocery list. I'll be home early to finish packing and I can go to the store for you."
"I'd like to see them again, Dad." Bella fiddled with her water glass. "Are you sure I can't go to the store?" Charlie's face fell and he ate the last bite of peaches. Bella just nodded, disappointed, and rose to take his plate when he finished, but he placed his hand on hers to keep her seated.
"Jake, Bells…I want to talk to you both." I felt a cold rush go through my insides. The tone in Charlie's voice was gentle but had an edge I knew meant serious business. "You both know I'm heading out of town and Billy was kind enough to offer his spare room to Bella.
"I wasn't comfortable with her alone, or in town at all if I wasn't with her." Charlie eyed me. "I didn't ask Billy so you two could have an extended date, but because I believe La Push may be the safest place for her while I'm away."
Bella frowned and Charlie gentled his face and smiled at her. "I'm asking you both to be responsible and to respect the roof you stay under. Understand?" Bella nodded. Charlie looked at me for confirmation.
I took a deep breath. "I understand, sir." Charlie swirled the coffee in his cup, staring into it like it had the all answers.
It felt like something was stuck. Bella was frozen and little horrified yet, and Charlie was sitting perfectly still, watching the thin vapors rising off his mug. I realized I had only answered for one of his concerns, the one he considered the smaller threat.
"Charlie, a stranger can't set foot in La Push without everyone knowing about it." I wanted him to know I could protect her, so I gave him the vicious smile I felt on my face when I knew I was going to kill that leech who tried to hurt Bella. "I swear, if anyone gets near Bella, I will tear his head clean off and no one will find the body."
Charlie's eyes widened and he gave me a surprised grunt. "Well, son. I sure hope it doesn't come to that." He took a satisfied gulp of coffee and headed into the living room, gripping my shoulder firmly before patting it as he passed to sit in his chair. Sports commentary filled the silence a few seconds later.
Bella let out a whoosh and dropped her head on the table. "Oh my God. I can't believe that just happened." I got up and scooped out more of the peach crisp into my bowl and inclined my head towards the door. She stood, pink faced, and walked out with me, grabbing her jacket on the way out.
We settled in on the porch, our breath barely visible, but more from the moisture in the air than the cold. She paced a little on the planks so I sat on the railing, staying out of her way.
"Do you think he knows?" She whispered nervously.
"Knows what?" I shrugged. "That we're dating? That we're serious? That there are vampires in the woods and I told him the truth about tearing their heads off?"
Oops.
Bella's eyes went wider than Charlie's. She swayed and I swooped down, setting my plate down and securing her against me on the way back up. Her eyes darted around, searching the darkness in the trees like they were just going to emerge in front of her. I guess they had before.
"No, I thought this was over. I thought...Laurent...the treaty. It's done, right? Over?" She leaned back to look me in the face, blubbering. Her face was paper-white and shaking, her heart was pounding against my chest and I needed her to calm down, so I held her face in my hands, warming the skin that had suddenly gone cold.
"Listen to me right now, Bells. There has been a member of the pack watching your house for days. You are never alone." Her mouth dropped open, but she kept eye contact with me. "Yes, there are more of…them out there. I don't know how many."
Bella's breathing went from swift and shallow to jerky and uneven. Her hands plucked at me and gripped at my shoulders and chest, searching for handholds. I turned her around in my arms and placed my hands over her mouth and nose, pinning her to my chest and bracing her with my legs.
"Breathe, Bells. Just breathe." She wrapped her hands around my forearms and panted, her warm breath making my palms damp.
After a minute or two I leaned over her side and saw that her face had returned to a normal color and her breathing was even. She lowered her head and sobbed softly.
"Are you trying to protect me? Is that what you meant the other night about being able to keep them from hurting me again?" There was understanding in her voice.
"I'm not trying- I am. We all are. And no bloodsucking son of a bitch is going to touch you or any other human around here."
Her whole body flinched. "Well, you shouldn't, you shouldn't have to. It's all my faul-"
"Whatever you're going to say, Bella, don't you dare. You don't deserve this, nobody does. It's my job to do this; it's what I'm made for. All of us." She sagged against me and I pulled around her to face me again.
"Let me do what I do, Bells. You aren't the only one we protect, but...I love you. So don't blame me if I kinda watch out for you a little closer."
She gave a tiny smile of surrender. It wasn't really acceptance, but if she wasn't fighting me on it, I wasn't going to ask for more.
"So," she sniffed after a while. "I expect five star service, you know. Nothing less than footmen and a bell pull." She wiped her watery eyes with her sleeve and gave me a goofy look.
"I'll alert the staff. Do you prefer milk or lemon in the tea or should we just make a list of your demands and sort the colors in your M&Ms?"
She wiped her nose and giggled. "Actually, if there's enough milk and sugar, I might join your dad in a cup of coffee." I smiled at the thought of Bella sitting at the table with my dad, the two talking over their mugs. "I'll cook breakfast though." She added.
"I knew I loved you for some reason." Sure I could cook to survive, but Bella cooked because she liked to and somehow the same ingredients tasted better when she used them. Good scrambled eggs were an art form she had perfected.
She held me close. "Gimme a gorilla hug. It's cold out here."
"Ooga- Booga. Can you sleep on an inflatable mattress?" I buried my nose against the side of her head and couldn't stop myself from thinking of the day before. Huffing her and thinking about mattresses was going to get me in trouble.
"Are there any other options?" She mumbled, laying her head on my collarbones and kissing me through my t shirt. Very much in trouble.
"Not really. Unless you like the floor. I'd give you my bed, but I think the air mattress is a better one."
"I guess I can sleep on an air mattress, then." I thanked god she didn't choose that moment to start asking where I'd be sleeping. I wasn't sure I could handle any more. She just rested her head on my chest lightly, her arms wrapped around me. Finally she shifted around and stepped back, stooping to retrieve my now cold plate and handing it to me. It still tasted great.
When I scraped the last crumb up and licked the spoon, I set the plate on the rail. "Bella, are you really okay? I mean, the whole vampire...thing?"
She stiffened for a moment. "Jake, I said normal wasn't a part of my life anymore. Between the Cullens and you, and whatever it is about me...I get it. I hope it ends soon, but..." She pulled her lips in and grimaced. "I just don't want you or anyone else getting hurt. That's all. That's what I'm really afraid of, is seeing you hurt or...worse."
There wasn't really anything I could say, so I just held her tight again.
I saw the clock through the window and knew I needed to get home to my dad, and Bella needed to sleep.
"Hey, I need to scoot. When will you go to bed?"
"I'm not sure. Thinking of dropping by?" She gave me a soft smile.
I shrugged. The idea had crossed my mind, but it felt a little wrong. Besides, I had patrol. "Actually, I was wond-"
"I can leave a light on," She interrupted. "And if I'm awake I'll leave the window cracked, but if Charlie is still up I'll draw the curtains." She rattled off. It sounded like she had a system.
"Bella?"
"Yeah?"
I hesitated, but plowed ahead. "I don't know how to ask this without sounding like an ass, so I'm just going to say it. Did Edward come through the window?"
She froze in my arms. She didn't say anything.
"Bella? Please. I'm not mad. Please, just tell me."
She swallowed two or three times and took a deep slow breath.
"Yes. He did." She was going to say more, but it didn't matter.
"You don't have to explain, Bells. It's the past. But," I touched her chin to make her look at me. "I will not come through that window again just to visit. I'm not him, and I won't disrespect Charlie like that."
Her lips quivered and she stood on her toes to kiss me. I sank down, my back against the post, so I could kiss her better. She tasted like peaches and sweet cream and I wished it wasn't so late.
"You're not him. Not at all, Jake." She said when I drew back to check the clock again. I ducked into the house to say goodnight to Charlie, who insisted on standing up and shaking my hand and inviting me to dinner the next night. I guess I made an impression.
Bella walked me out to my car and had a funny look on her face, biting her lip. She hadn't done that in awhile and I nudged her with my shoulder to get her attention. She smiled up at me distractedly and gave me a goodnight kiss.
I closed the car door and watched her go to her front door. I started up the engine.
"Jake." I looked up. She seemed a little surprised that I heard her, but I guess she was checking. "I don't want to talk about it right now, but I need to know. The vampires you have the treaty with. It's the Cullens, right? They're the vampires who don't bite people. Just nod if it's true."
I stared. I really wanted to talk with her about it, but the pale set of her lips said she just wanted to know. It was another piece of her universe realigning.
I nodded.
She let out a sigh, but clenched her jaw and nodded back. The curls at her temple trembled, but she held herself steady as she mouthed 'I love you' to me and slipped into the house.
.
Can you feel the wheels turning again?
Thanks so much for reading. Please consider leaving a review if you are so inclined.
By the way, I have a little project I'm currently working on with Bragi151's advisement. It's a little off my usual path, but slash fans might like it. Keep an eye out, it might get finished in a couple weeks.
Please check out the Jacob Black n' Pack website for the final list of nominees for their summer awards. There are some great fics to read!
Also, for all you pack fans, there is a new website for you: Phasefics(.)com. Check them out!
Thanks again! -sfiddy