This is a work of fanfiction. All recognizable characters and situations belong to S Meyer. I am not S Meyer.
Welcome back everybody, and here is chapter 19. Pieces of this chapter have been in my head since March, so I'm excited that the story has made it this far. Many, many thanks to Diamondheart, who beta's this through back injuries and writing her own work. Please read her latest- Enough- a beautiful piece she submitted for the "When Your Heart Stops Beating" contest, hosted by Wordslinger and TwiCharmed.
Thanks are also in order for Little Furry Cannibals, whose plot bunnies frighten me, and Wolves Can Eat Me, for faithful suggestions and advice. They are a great pair of pre-readers who help keep me in line.
Please enjoy chapter 19.
sub·li·mat·ing
Etymology: Middle English, from Medieval Latin sublimatus, past participle of sublimare
Date: 15th century
1 a : sublime 1 b archaic : to improve or refine as if by subliming
2 : to divert the expression of (an instinctual desire or impulse) from its unacceptable form to one that is considered more socially or culturally acceptable
Bella POV
.
I woke early with chilly air drifting over my face from the single pane window above me. I wanted to believe that the aches I felt everywhere were due to the cold seeping up from the air mattress, but I knew things were not so simple. They never were anymore.
My mind vaguely recalled Jake coming and waking me, and while I didn't remember much of what he said, I do know that he brought warmth. Like a recalled dream, I had a hazy memory of him easing under the covers and holding me. I must have truly slept afterward, because I remembered nothing after the heat sank in and loosened my muscles. I came fully awake with a little smile on my face at the recollection.
I sat up and tried to rock my shoulders, arching my back from side to side. A quick shoulder roll sent a sharp twang of pain down to my hand and back up again, forcing me to snatch my hand up from under the blankets to cradle it to my chest. When the spasm receded, I drew my hand out to look.
It was too dark in the room to see, but my scar was pulled over a tender lump. I flexed my fingers and the sensation of my muscles sliding against something under my skin made me shudder. I resolved to ask Sue about it at the bonfire that night and, having made a decision, hauled myself out of the nest of blankets and the ditch that my weight created in the mattress. There is no graceful way to get off an inflated mattress, so I excused my usual clumsiness and rolled off, accepting the awkward thump when my hip hit the floor.
I turned on my light and left the door ajar to light the hallway and tiptoed to Jake's room, cracking the door to peek in. His big body was completely limp in sleep, his face relaxed and glowing in the filtered light from the hall, free from the concerns that had overtaken his life, and mine. Just for the moment, he looked like the Jake whose only worry was hiding the motorcycles from our fathers. I knew he had returned from the meeting late and needed rest, so I resisted the urge to climb in with him and opted to get breakfast ready instead. I gazed at him a little longer, drinking in his richly colored skin and feeling a tingle in my belly as I took in his strong chest, exposed by the sheet that had settled at his waist.
As quietly as I could, I crept up and just touched my lips to his before pulling back to sneak out, holding the doorknob so it wouldn't make a loud click when I closed the door. I hesitated by the door, my hand still on the knob, debating whether or not to wake him up so he could tell me about the meeting. Now that the cobwebs of sleep were clearing from my mind, I felt desperate to know what happened at the meeting the night before.
With effort, I walked away from the door and went to the kitchen to take advantage of the early hour and make a nice breakfast for Jake and Billy. The refrigerator was well stocked from his grocery run the afternoon before, and I threw together a batch of biscuits and put them in the oven to bake while I got ready for school. When I came out they were nearly ready and I started cooking sausages and bacon and scrambling a dozen eggs.
While I was getting ready, I wondered again how the meeting had gone. Which of the Cullens had come? And what would it mean now? Frowning at the pan in front of me, I tried to sort out my feelings. The memories of that family—a family I had once hoped to join—were…remote, yet brilliant in their way, like remembered scenes from a favorite movie. The Cullens were a collection of oddly assorted characters that were genetically unrelated but bonded by love and loyalty. A true family. By choice.
A shudder went through me at the thought of the way James' coven 'lived' and related to others. Brutal, self-serving, sadistic; they could hardly be more different. Was that what Jake and Seth and the rest of the pack would be facing? How serious were the Cullens about being partners in a fight?
Mentally, I tried on the idea of different members of the Cullen family as Carlisle's second; most were dismissed immediately, and I was left with Emmett and Jasper.
Somehow, it was hard to see Emmett involved in a serious discussion of tactics and strategy. He was more likely to challenge someone to a video game than a fight from what I knew about him. That wasn't all there was to him, though. I did not see it, but I knew that while I was on the floor of the mirrored room, covered in blood and writhing in pain, Emmett and Jasper had torn James to pieces.
Still, the image of Emmett as the fun-loving prankster was one I couldn't dismiss. It was a little crazy, maybe, but I sniggered at the memory of the gaming tournaments in the Cullen house.
"Now what," a deep voice whispered into my ear, making me jump and melt into it at the same time. "What could possibly be funny about bacon at six-fifteen in the morning?"
He eased his arms around me from behind and I leaned back into his chest, trying to siphon off some of the heat he seemed happy to share. "I thought you were still asleep. I wanted to surprise you and Billy with breakfast since I couldn't sleep anymore."
I felt his smile as he pressed his nose to the back of my head. "How am I supposed to sleep when you come into my room and kiss me?" My face was suddenly very warm and I momentarily forgot how to scramble eggs. "You really didn't think I was going to sleep through you banging around like you do?" He let out a puff of breath with a little chuckle. "Besides I could never sleep through a kiss from you, not to mention," he reached over my shoulder and grabbed a link of sausage from the platter, "the smell of a hot breakfast. Thank you."
Jake's voice became weary and gentle as he spoke, losing the suggestive rumble, softening to match the face I saw in the half light from the hallway. I turned to hug him, wanting to squeeze the worry from him and absorb it like a sponge. He sighed tiredly as I held him.
"So, what happened last night?" I asked, my words muffled by his shirt. He wrapped his arms a little tighter around me and started talking.
…
My hands shook as I set my plate on the table. "So…they're coming?" I swallowed hard over the bitter lump in my throat. "All of them?"
Jake still hadn't touched his plate yet, having talked non-stop for nearly half an hour. "That's how it sounds. I just don't know exactly when the Cullens will get here, but they're coming." He drank deeply from his water glass and stood back up to refill it. I slumped in my chair and stared at the rapidly cooling plate in front of me. I dimly heard him set the glass down and he knelt next to me like the night before. "I won't let him hurt you again, Bells." His face was earnest, but his tone was grim.
A pang shot through my chest and I tried to ignore it, but I drew my sore arm up, cradling it. Jake made a move to take my hand, frowning as if he intended to examine it, but before he could touch me, his dad started wheeling out of his room.
"Do you need to help him?" I asked, clearing my eyes of the tears that had threatened to come.
"Naw, I got him moving while you were in the shower." His serious expression loosened into his more usual grin. "He smelled the biscuits, too!"
Billy rounded the corner to the kitchen and gave us both a warm smile. "Good morning kids. Bella, Jake told me you were making breakfast and I demanded he get me up early." He glanced up at Jake gratefully when a coffee cup landed in front of him. I started to eat when Billy and Jake settled in over their plates.
Billy looked up at Jake. "You two talked yet?"
"Yeah, we did. Some." Jake's reply was swift. Billy wasted no words as he glanced over at me asking for confirmation, chewing his bacon. I nodded, feeling a little lightheaded and washed out.
Billy harrumphed an acknowledgment and peered at me searchingly over his fork. My own was halfway to my mouth and stalled under his gaze. "You feeling alright, Bella? You look…ill. Are you handling the news okay?"
The utensil made a loud clatter when it banged off the plate and onto the table. My curled fingers shook and I plucked it back up, wiping the splattered eggs off the table with my napkin. "I'm fine. Really." It would have sounded more convincing if my voice hadn't trembled slightly. I finished quickly and drained my glass. Jake took my plate and set it in the sink.
"You two should get going." Billy said, ignoring my accident. "You might have a longer drive than you think into town, and Bella needs to get to school on time." Jake refilled his dad's coffee cup and picked up my bag for me. I waited by the door for Jake to finish clearing the table, absently rubbing up my arm and trying to sooth the little electric jolts at the mere contact of skin on skin.
"Ready?" Jake whispered, touching my arm to hand me my coat. I slipped it on and gave him a weak smile. When I told Billy goodbye, his face was pleasant enough, but he was…studying me. The gravel crunched satisfyingly loudly as we walked to the Rabbit in the brisk morning. The moist air was chilly enough to see thick fogs of breath, reminding me of the smoke that filtered through the trees the night I saw Laurent.
Jake stepped ahead of me and opened the passenger door, settling my bag into the back seat. He was about to close the door for me when he paused.
"Bella, you don't have to do this, go to school, I mean. There's a lot going on and I'm worried you'll get worse today if you sit in class and just think about it all."
I gave him another watery smile. "How would that look, Jake? The chief's daughter suddenly doesn't show up for school when he's out of town?" Jake chuckled and dipped his head, realizing the trap I was in. "Besides, I have work after school."
"Do you need a ride later?" Jake asked.
"I can get a lift from Mike." I replied, and he grumbled. "If it makes you feel better, I'll remind him of the Alka-Seltzer cocktail." Jake's answering smile was bright as always, but it was shadowed with a seriousness that was definitely new. Part of me missed the boy with the easy and carefree attitude, but I couldn't really bring myself to regret that, now that I knew the strength of the man he was becoming.
Jake shut the door and walked around to the car and got in. He started up the car and rested his hands on his thighs, his face thoughtful as he checked the gauges.
"Jake? Um, can I ask you something about the meeting?" I was nervous and I wasn't sure if it was because of the situation or the family involved.
"Of course, Bells. I'll never keep anything from you, you know that." He placed one of his warm hands over mine. I laced my fingers in his and thought about what he'd told me about the meeting. Veins stuck out on the backs of his hands and I absentmindedly fiddled with them as I thought. The muscles in his arms had grown hard and taut with tension.
"Who is Mr. Whitlock?" Jake cocked his head to one side questioningly. "Well, there were Cullens, Hales, and Emmett McCarty. What did he look like?"
Jake's face went from confusion to relief, and he chuckled a little. "I thought you were going to ask something else. Well, Mr. Whitlock is tall, lanky, has a ridiculous mop of blonde hair, and answers to the name of Jasper."
My hand had flown to my mouth by the time he got to the hair. My thoughts flooded with memories of his grimacing half smiles and pained tolerance of me, except for the trip to Phoenix. There he had been a savior, an avenging angel, and he'd done what he could to help me stay sane as Alice hid me in one place after another. His calming influence allowed me to rest during those nightmare and panic filled days.
"What was he…like?" I ventured. "What do you think of him?" Jake had implied that there were things he and Sam didn't tell the Cullens, so I could only assume that Carlisle and Jasper would do the same.
"He's weird," Was Jake's swift reply as he pulled onto the semi-paved road. "Very intense and sort of… I'm not even sure how to describe it… observant? He watched every move we made and it was like he was wired."
With my eyes focused firmly on the dashboard, I asked, "Did you ever feel…suddenly calm around him?"
"Huh. Yeah, sort of. There was one time when Sam and I started to get a little pissed and he sort of watched us close, next thing I knew we were back to chatting again. One other time…" His voice stopped and the car suddenly began to coast and Jake pulled over onto the shoulder. We came to a sudden stop when he threw it into park and set the brake. Jake twisted in his seat to face me.
"Okay, Bella, you know that whole family better than I like to think about. What do you know?"
Here we go, I thought to myself. "You have to promise you won't get mad or hold it against them."
"I'm not sure I like the way that sounds, but I won't get mad, not at you anyway." He voice was carefully expressionless.
We sat in the car and I stared at the trees through the windshield. "Your dad was right. This is turning into a long ride." Jake let out a strained sigh but waited patiently for me to continue. "Have you ever felt like some people were a little different?" He gave me a look.
"Okay, bad start." I admitted. "Have you ever thought that some people just…knew things? Or that they had a way with people that maybe wasn't natural?"
He chuckled. "Of course I do. My dad can practically read minds." I squirmed, the seatbelt suddenly feeling tight.
"Well, some vampires do, too. Some more than others."
Jake stopped smiling, but kept waiting.
"Some of the Cullens…" I faded, unsure of what to say.
"Which Cullens?" Jake's voice was pitched low and the words came out evenly; to anyone but me he might have seemed just casually interested. I found I couldn't meet his eyes anymore.
"Please, Bella." The same flat tone.
My throat made a hollow sound when I finally coordinated it, leaving my mouth sticky and it was difficult to form the words… names. "Alice. Jasper. And…and…" My mouth opened and closed on the 'E', unable to form sound.
"Edward?" Jake supplied through his teeth.
"Yes. Please, Jake. Drive."
We reached the far end of town before he relaxed his grip on the steering wheel, allowing the color to seep back into his knuckles. When we reached the bend that went by my house, he pulled into the driveway and took deep breaths, his skin trembling like ruffled bird feathers. I rested a hand on his shoulder and it drooped under my touch.
"What can they do?" He whispered, covering my hand with his.
"Alice can see the future, but it changes when decisions are made. Jasper can sense and project emotion. Edward…" I swallowed before my throat could close. "Edward can read minds."
His eyes flew open and he stared, stunned, and then slammed the car into drive and sped into town. I gripped the seat and the handle over my door, pressing into the armrests as he took the turns, the Rabbit's joints groaning in protest.
"Did he have to try to read minds, or did he just hear them?" Jake growled, zipping through a yellow light.
"He could hardly block them out. He called it a curse. Except for me."
The brakes screeched to stop for a red light that Jake couldn't beat. "What do you mean, except for you?" The insane driving seemed to have calmed him, but I was panting and almost hanging from the handle.
"He couldn't read my mind. I was silent to him, he said."
"Huh." The light turned green again, and I sank into the seat as he goaded his poor car to behave like a performance machine. He eased off when we got closer to the school. He pulled into the parking lot like nothing was odd about him being there and parked in the farthest section from the doors.
"How do you know all this? Did they use their abilities on you?"
Hotel rooms, charcoal sketches of rooms full of panels, decisions, phone calls, restless turning, calm sleep and gentle comfort all broke through the careful walls I built around portions of my mind. I nodded. "Yes, in Phoenix. I would not have survived without them."
A bell rang at the school and I had to go. I unclamped my hand from the handle while Jake drove me up to the lane to drop me off closer to the entrance. Before I had my seatbelt offhe was outside, opening my door and reached down to help me out. He looked me over with concern and wrapped me in a tight, protective hug.
"We need to talk tonight. I need to know everything about what happened." He let go of me and smoothed my hair from my face, frowning. "Sam and my dad may want to talk to you, too."
I reached up and smoothed the creases in his forehead, then wrapped my arms around him, pulling him to me. "I'll do anything I can." My hand ruffled into his short hair, missing the rich mane he used to have, and I pulled him down to kiss me, ignoring the covert on-lookers.
.
Jake POV
.
I waited until Bella was in the doors before I tore out of the Forks High parking lot. My poor car had been pushed to its limits this last week and a half, and I still hadn't done the alignment from when I whacked the curb; now the damn thing probably needed new spark plugs, too.
As soon as I hit the gravel of my driveway, I pulled out the keys and ran for the woods, not even bothering to stop and talk to my dad first. I yanked and pulled at my clothes, leaving a trail of fabric behind me until I hit the trees, willing the heat I'd barely kept in check on the drive to race up my back and radiate out to my bones.
A few others were phased, and I was relieved when I felt Sam among them. Quil was alongside him as they ran a perimeter patrol.
Sam! We've got to talk. Before I even gave him a chance to ask why, I was dumping the whole conversation with Bella right at him. His irritation flared but turned into wonder, then horror as he grasped what some of the Cullens could do, especially Edward and Jasper.
They knew everything about us all along. Sam's vision was tinged with red but he stayed on the trail, leading Quil. They always knew how we worked.
We hid things from them, too. I pointed out. I trotted along toward where their route would eventually intersect. I sat and waited, watching Sam's mind whiz through all the things he thought about during his first meeting with the Cullens while Edward was second. We both wondered if there was anything they didn't know about us.
No Jake, we tried to hide things from them. They were able to eavesdrop on the Alphas from two packs and two Elders. Sam sighed. We have no secrets.
A few minutes later, Sam's huge figure cut through the brush and he didn't hesitate as he walked straight up to me.
And you're right; she's going to talk to us tonight at the bonfire. She has to. If we're going to operate openly with the pack, she can tell all of us about the Cullens. Sam was coldly determined. I think they can afford to lose some secrets, too. Don't you?
Sam turned and took off at a jog, not inviting Quil to follow.
Where are you going? He called after Sam.
Home. I need to calm down and see Emily for awhile before tonight. Catch you at the bonfire. Quil watched the shadow fade, and Sam left the pack mind once he caught sight of the little cabin he shared with Emily, leaving us with the echoes of his relief at seeing her face in the kitchen window. We started back toward my house.
So what the fuck, dude?
What? I shot back at Quil.
So, it's not bad enough that they drink blood, they have to have super powers and shit? Are they like the X-Men and just suck on deer?
I rolled my eyes and was saved from responding when I heard my dad calling me.
We broke into a full run and phased when we got to my yard. I threw my jeans on and picked up the rest of my clothes while Quil untied his shorts from his leg.
"Jake, you got another letter." My dad held out another sealed letter to me as I walked in the house, Quil tight on my heels and heading to the kitchen. My glare went from the lion pressed into the red wax to Quil as he stuffed a pinch of shaved ham between his cheek and gums like tobacco and started grabbing for the bread to make a sandwich with the rest.
I shook my head, knowing it was a losing battle, and broke the seal on the letter.
.
Mr. Black,
Mr. Whitlock and I are traveling to Seattle to await the arrival of our family's flights. Mr. Whitlock will bring them to our residence in Forks while I attend to some errands in the city.
I do not need to remind you that we would prefer discretion regarding our return, however temporary.
My family is apprised of the situation and is prepared to train on Saturday night. Please do not hesitate to call if you have any concerns. We look forward to meeting the rest of your associates and finding common ground.
Respectfully,
Dr. Carlisle Cullen
.
I sighed and looked up to see Quil holding out a plate to me with a couple sandwiches and a cut orange. My dad was picking up the phone and dialing.
"Anything good?" He asked cheerfully.
I gave him a weak smile as I took the plate, unable to muster anything to say, and simply took the phone my dad handed me.
"Hello?"
"Sam, it's Jake. I got another letter." Sam listened as I read him the note.
Silence.
"Sam?" I heard a hollow thunk that I figured was his head against a wall. On a stud.
"It's too late to pretend to be the answering machine, isn't it." His voice was dull and flat despite the joke.
"Quil is rubbing off on you. You should patrol together more often." I waited as Sam finished a few more thumps.
"Well, we knew this was coming, so there's nothing we can do about it now. I'll be here until we head over for the bonfire. Call me if anything else happens, but howl if there's anything to kill."
"Got it. Bye Sam."
I handed the phone back to my dad and gave him the letter. Quil and I flopped back on the couch with nothing to do for a few hours. I really wanted to sleep but the company was too good to miss, and we spent the afternoon talking and catching up like the friends we always were.
"You said that to a vampire? Holy crap, man!" Quil held his sides and leaned forward.
"I know! But it was the only thing I could think of, it just sort of fell out." I laughed and the worry I was storing up for the evening started to melt. Quil had that effect on people.
My dad glared at us as he tried to talk to Sue over us.
"What about the night you killed that one?" I quieted and sat back, recalling the oily filth that coated my mouth, Bella's frail body collapsing, and the madness I fell into that night- however temporary, as Dr. Cullen would say.
"What about it?" I said softly as I rubbed my forehead. There wasn't a scratch or scar on me even though I'd split my head open a couple times.
"What did you say to that fucker?"
What I'd said, the bloodsucker would have never heard. What he really wanted to know was what I'd wanted to say. "Remember that part in Indiana Jones when the guy with the sword looks scary and you're worried Indy's gonna get his ass kicked, but he just shoots him?"
"Yeah?"
"It was kinda like that."
He grinned.
There was a soft knock at the door and Seth poked his head in without waiting for anyone to answer.
"Jake? Billy? My Mom sent me over with those test strips from the clinic. Hey Quil." I hopped up and invited him in. My dad shook his hand and took the boxes from him. We chatted a few minutes and I asked if he wanted to hang around until I had to go get Bella.
"No, I need to get back. Mom's cooking some stuff for the bonfire and wants me to give her a hand since Leah is out patrolling."
"Hang on, I'll walk you out."
We stood on the gravel and Seth kicked a few bits nervously. "Ah, you probably want to know what I was doing here last night, don't you?"
"I'm not mad, I'm just curious."
Seth took a deep breath. "I knew Bella was here, and I couldn't just sit and wait, so I…" He hung his head and examined the driveway.
"You guarded the house, didn't you? You felt like you had to protect something?"
He screwed up his face. "You say it like that and I sound like a Doberman."
I laughed and punched him on the shoulder. Spending time with Quil felt like getting my sense of humor back; I was able to enjoy my brothers again as the friends we were before this all happened, rather than as the soldiers we played part-time.
"If the shoe fits," I snorted, and Seth just waved me off with a smile. "But, there's something about you, Paul, Leah, and everyone. We're all different…" I stared off into the trees, remembering Embry's intuition, Sam's size and strength, and Jared's smarts. What was it Mr. Whitlock had said? Something about specialists?
"Jake?" I shook my head and focused on Seth again. "I think I hear Quil in your fridge again and I need to get back. Was there, uh, anything else?"
"No, man. Thanks for the test strips and, uh, for watching the house last night." We shook hands and Seth looked at me funny as he started to walk off, but waved as he jogged to the street.
Quil finally left after downing one of my frozen pizzas, helped by Embry, who had dropped by right when he pulled it out of the oven. I finished what was left of the sandwich meat with my dad and walked out to the forest with them, checking in on the patrols. When the all-clear reports came in, I went back inside to get ready to pick up Bella and take her to the bonfire.
.
Bella POV
.
"Hey, Bella?" Mike called. "Are you about wrapped up in the stockroom? I'm closing down the front."
I brushed the dust off my work vest and logged in the last of the new arrivals. "Just finished, Mike. You wouldn't be in a hurry to close up tonight, would you?"
Silence.
I knew better. At school, Mike had decided to take the plunge and ask Jessica out for ice cream. Friday nights were slow anyway - anyone going on a weekend camping trip would have left at mid-day, and today was worse than usual owing to the recent vacation. Today saw a few regulars who spruced up their tackle boxes for the weekend, having skipped fishing during the previous week with all the visitors in the area.
"Cat got your tongue, Mike?" I pulled off my vest and hung it up, and grabbed my card to clock out. I saw him walk into the stockroom while I checked my phone for messages. I had talked to my dad earlier in Mike's car when he gave me a ride from school, and he promised to have John show him how to send a text by the end of the night.
He threw me a mock scowl. "You know I am, so hurry up and scram." Mike glanced over at the screen displaying images from the new security cameras. "Whoops. Looks like you better move, too." I glanced over and saw the Rabbit pull up.
"Alright, I'm leaving. Could you give me a hand with the box?" I pointed to the large cardboard box by the register. "Just to the door, Jake can get it from there."
"No problem. But honestly, Bella, that was your paycheck this month. And do yourself a favor- get some rest this weekend. You look awful" I just smiled and shrugged, letting Mike grab the box and heft it up and to the back door. I opened the door and spotted Jake, leaning against his car. He pushed off and strode to the door to hold it for Mike, who caught the door with his own foot and pushed the box into Jake's hands.
"Hey, Jake. This is Bella's, though god only knows why."
"Uh," Jake looked at me and I just nodded and said goodnight to Mike. "Thanks, Mike. You feeling better?"
"Good as new. Just don't ever let her give me Alka-Seltzer mixed in chicken soup again. I think I'd rather die quietly in a bush." He grabbed his bag from inside and flicked out the last lights and headed to his car. "Have a good night guys!" Mike jumped into his car and sped off, waving at us without looking.
Jake blinked a few times, watching Mike's car head around the bend, before finally turning to me. "Ready to head out? They're setting up the bonfire now." I stood on my toes and gave him an awkward kiss over the box in his arms.
"Let's go. I need to stop and change first, but I'm ready." Jake handed me the keys and I unlocked and opened the hatchback. The flap that covered the trunk space rested on top of the big box.
I tossed my bag into the backseat and sat while Jake closed the doors. When he sat down to drive he peered into my face, lit by the harsh interior lights. "Bells, do you have a fever or something? You're really pale." I rolled my eyes. "Okay, paler than usual. But seriously, you look sick."
"I decided this morning I would ask Sue about it. I don't want to do anything that might upset my dad while he's out of town."
Jake shrugged. "Okay, I guess that's what most of us do, anyway. But if she's worried, we go see a doctor right away, alright?" I agreed.
He started up the engine and guided the car onto the road and toward La Push.
"So, Bells, what's in the box?"
"Just wait. It's a surprise." It was his turn to roll his eyes but he did push the accelerator a little harder.
…
I liked the warmth of the fire on my legs and face. I leaned back into Jake's chest as Billy finished a story, enjoying the sensation of being wrapped by a friendly furnace. The cold still settled in my bones, and I closed my eyes and tried to relax my neck and shoulder.
It wasn't much use. The hair on my neck stood up and I had that 'being watched' feeling every time I looked away or closed my eyes. Jake felt me tense and kissed the back of my head, quietly translating words Billy said in the story.
The evening had gone reasonably well so far. I cleaned up from my day and packed a few things for the beach, then Jake and I took the car from his house in case we had to drive his dad home. I was sort of presented to the pack amidst curious stares from a few of them, but Quil and Embry just dragged me to Emily and her battered card table, helping me unload the couple of things I brought to share. There I met Kim, Jared's girlfriend, who I recognized from the bonfire the night Jake and I first kissed.
I gingerly shifted my posture, and Jake tucked the soft blanket around us, stroking my middle with his warm hands. The tension kept creeping in my neck and radiating down my arm. The waiting wasn't helping even though Jake told me to just relax and enjoy the bonfire.
I snickered. Vampires, werewolves and eight hundred pound gorillas were now occupying my life.
"What's so funny?" Jake breathed in my ear. I told him my little joke and half the people around us started laughing. "Sorry, Bells. I think I warned you; there are no secrets here. We know everything about each other."
"Oh yeah… everything!" Embry catcalled.
"One word, Call," Jake growled, "And I will cut down your precious tree."
"You do that, and you'll never get to try it yourself, Black."
I cleared my throat, not sure what they were arguing about or why everyone found it so funny, but I heaved myself off the ground and folded the blanket. "I'm going to get something to drink. Want anything?"
"I'm fine." Jake glared at Embry and I walked toward the cooler, shaking my head. The movement made me dizzy and I stopped moving, focusing on the horizon to get my bearings.
Sam was nearly in my line of sight, talking with Billy. Jared and Paul stood alongside and they watched me, their postures taut. Sam straightened and nodded to me as if to say "It's time."
I got a bottle of water from the cooler, anticipating the need to wet my mouth when the questions started to fly. When I bent to close the cooler lid, a pair of bare feet appeared next to me.
"Bella, we don't need to cover everything tonight, but I -we- need to ask you some questions tonight." Sam spoke quietly, but I knew from experience with Jake that the wolves could hear every word. "You don't have to talk to everyone, just Jake and me. The rest of them will hear it, just pretend they aren't there. Can you do that?"
I looked into Sam's face. "Yes," I said, and shivered.
Sam turned to walk away. "Go warm up by the fire." He said over his shoulder. "I'll wheel Billy over in a minute."
Jake put his arm around me when I got back to him. I felt wobbly after the brief but intense exchange, knowing my night wasn't over yet. He sat me down on one of the logs and put the blanket back around me. I leaned into him, trying to gather some strength, but feeling winded and washed out after the long day. Jake grasped my hand gave me a tight hug-
Gray patches danced in front of my eyes, blotting out the fire and I felt my knees hit the beach grass and sand.
"Bells! What's wrong?" Jake bent over me as I gasped from the pain that electrified my side. I tried to balance my weight in my arms so I could get my feet under me, but my left side gave way and I landed face first on the coarse sand.
A couple pairs of strong hands helped me up and steadied me as Jake brushed the sand off me. "What happened, Bella?" He frowned and reached for my hand and rolled up the sweatshirt sleeve.
They all gasped. Jake glared at my hand in the firelight. The flickering of the bonfire did nothing to improve the look of my hand; it was swollen and angry, the double crescent scar silvery and stretched over the distinct lump under it.
"That's it." Jake muttered. I heard low rumbles as the pack exchanged glances after seeing my hand.
Jake half carried me by my arm to Billy. "Dad, can you look at this?"
Billy's face was grave as he looked at my hand, then back to me and said, "We'll talk at the house. Let's go." He summoned Seth with a silent nod and was pushed to the parking lot. ,
I lifted my head to discover that I was surrounded on all sides by the imposing bodies of Paul, Sam, and Jared. Embry and Quil joined the formation and Jake walked stiffly as he led me to the car.
I was both guarded and escorted to the Rabbit by the men who towered around me. When I was seated in the car, they retreated to the darkness, but I caught glimpses of huge moving shadows alongside the car, weaving into the trees and out again.
I was brought to the little red house and escorted in to the table. Billy snapped on every light in the house as Jake gently guided me to my usual chair, still pinned in by the three giants. Jake knelt alongside me as Billy wheeled up to the table and pushed on his reading glasses. His features softened before he gestured to my hand and asked, "May I?"
I gave him my hand, illuminated now by the harsh light of fluorescent tubes. The scar gleamed with an almost glittering quality and looked alien on the red and inflamed skin of my hand. The tissue was pulled so tight over the mass under the scar that it was shiny and without creases. Billy put his thumbs on either side of the lump and nudged it both ways, sliding it freely but wrenching a sharp whimper of pain that I tried to stifle.
"Sorry, Bella. I had to check." The apologetic expression left quickly; he was tense, but focused and I could see that he was taking charge of the entire situation now. His jaw pulsed and relaxed and Jake's hold on my shoulder tightened.
"Tell me exactly how you got this scar, Bella."
I heard the movement of bodies in the room coming closer to the table where I sat. They would all hear what happened.
"I was bitten by a vampire." My voice sounded very distant to me.
Billy's noble face twitched. "Was it a Cullen that bit you?" The air suddenly stilled in the room as they waited for my answer.
"No, his name was James and he was the leader of a group of nomads."
The relief was tangible for only a moment. "Why aren't you dead?" Billy opened a hand and gestured to mine. "The venom has clearly affected your skin. Where did it go?"
I didn't blush. In fact, the color left my face and my hands became very cold. "The venom was sucked out."
"By who?" Billy said very calmly. My breath caught in my throat. I looked up at the expectant faces of the wall of men around me, standing like ancient redwoods and just as penetrable.
"Edward sucked out the venom. He stopped when my blood no longer carried traces of James."
Billy looked thoughtful but no less severe. He blinked very slowly once, twice. "What about traces of Edward?"
The giants around me all rippled at the same time. Jacob's hands clenched and released of their own volition and Jared's mouth opened to take deep breaths. Paul's eyes grew wider and took on the luster of something very, very dangerous and growing more so by the second. Only Sam remained impenetrable, the ripple left him first and he set one hand on Paul's chest and the other on Jared's arm. Both immediately stilled but remained as tight as bowstrings.
I was unable to speak, mouthing soundless gibberish until Billy began. Billy always suspected there was more to my disappearance than what Charlie knew. He never said anything about it, "Bella, whether he meant to or not, I believe Edward left behind a tiny amount of his venom in you. It may have effects far more reaching than a scar. Maybe you've been able to hold it back, but I think the venom is fighting back and you're not able to handle it anymore. That's why," he looked down at my hand. "That's why we must remove it now. Jake, bring me my carving tools."
My ears began to ring and felt like they were stuffed with cotton. Billy barked a few orders to the others who strode through the house fetching things for him, flinging the contents of drawers and cabinets in the search for others. My head swam and when I opened my eyes I saw a macabre scene. Billy had a round magnifying lamp, a candle, a cup with clear liquid and a candle. My nose burned and I recognized the sharp smell of rubbing alcohol.
"Jake," Billy said firmly, "I need you fetch Sue and have her bring her bag whatever else she thinks we need." Jake started protesting but Sam lifted him by the arm. "We'll wait till you get back, Jake."
"But," was all Jake managed before Billy shot him withering glare and he bolted out the door and into the night.
Billy unrolled the leather roll and surveyed the delicate carving tools and selected an incredibly fine and glintingly sharp blade.
I squirmed, my insides flipping and aching as the cold sweat broke on my forehead. "I can just see a doctor," My voice broke and my teeth chattered over the words. "The clinic can see me tomorrow…"
"There's no time. You might lose your hand if we wait and besides," Billy dipped the blade into the alcohol and lit the candle. "What if they biopsy what comes out of there?" A towel was laid at Billy's elbow and he pushed it under my hand, my fingertips white from curling hard against the tabletop. "And if we wait, it could break free and…" Billy pulled the blade from the cup and passed it over the candle, the flare punctuating his thoughts.
I suddenly felt hot all over. Sam pulled at the bottom of the sweatshirt and lifted it over my head, then guided my hand back in from of Billy.
"I'm going to make a small cut in your skin Bella. You will barely feel it, but I don't know what is in there, so…" He pulled a polished wooden rod from the leather case. Sam took it and pushed it against my mouth until it was between my teeth. My apprehension grew and made me feel like I was suffocating.
I started to shake. Billy muttered, "Paul," and a set of heavy hands clamped my arm to the table at the elbow and wrist. I wanted to stand and run, but Jared had restrained my other arm and held me to the chair from behind.
"I thought you were going to wait for Jake!" Quil said shakily from somewhere behind me.
"He can't be here for this." Sam replied tersely.
The alcohol was cold when it poured onto my hand, and I bit down on the stick to brace myself. I inhaled when the blade touched my hand, but felt almost nothing as it sliced neatly through the skin. Clear fluid tinged with red oozed painlessly from the cut.
Then he pressed.
My head snapped back as if from an impact. Features of the room blurred and tunneled as Billy massaged and tugged. I could feel the mass moving in my hand and under my skin. The bands that had wrapped my chest and down my arm grew barbs that tried to anchor themselves in me. They slid along my bones, scraping and clawing for purchase, pulling at my flesh.
My teeth sank into the wood, splintering off bits that chafed my gums as my eyes rolled from the pain. Only James had caused me more, and I had been blessed by losing consciousness then. For now, I could only shudder and gasp for breath around the stick.
I felt a final tight squeeze and pull at the incision. The tightness in my chest coalesced and stung like nettles under my scar before they passed through the incision.
The threadbare towel rubbed at my hand and I felt the cold alcohol again. The stick was pulled from my stretched and chapped lips. I moaned hoarsely and the steel arms that held me up released me, catching me before I slumped into the table.
"Jacob," I breathed.
I drifted; relaxed for the first time I could remember in many months and waited, the buzz of whispering tickling my ears.
.
Jake POV
.
Sue was driving as fast as the car could go, and we flung ourselves out as soon as the engine cut off. Seth, Quil, Embry and Jared were standing in the driveway and building a little fire.
"What the hell are you doing?" I yelled. They all snapped to face me and pointed at one of our old kitchen towels on the ground. There was a sickly mass stuck to it and it dawned on me that my dad hadn't waited. Sue rushed inside and I watched, horrified, as Quil used a couple of sticks to gingerly set the towel on the flames. Familiar, purplish smoke started rising and the mass quivered and bubbled at the edges. The smell of leech filtered in the air and I jumped the stairs and slammed the door open, widening the hole the knob had already made in the wall.
Sue chased out the last of the pack and hovered over Bella, examining her arm and hand. I knelt next to her and stroked her damp forehead, pushing the hair away that had stuck to her face. Her closed eyes fluttered open and she smiled, color rushing to her cheeks.
"Hey." She whispered.
"Hey."
"Hey, both of you, shut it so I can check her lungs." Sue listened to Bella's breathing for a few seconds, then stuck the stethoscope back in her bag and pulled out a package of wound dressing and adhesive. "Get out of the way, Jake. You kids are all elbows and fur." She gave me a gentle shove and I moved out of her way. I went back to the kitchen to stand by my dad, walking backwards so I could keep my eyes on the couch.
"She'll be fine, Jake." He said, tying the last knot in the leather strips holding the roll together. The kitchen was a wreck and I absent mindedly cleared away a few things that had been thrown around earlier, still constantly watching Sue as she pressed under Bella's arm and along her neck.
"What the hell happened?" I asked him tiredly.
"I removed the problem. If you really want to know, go phase. I'll keep an eye on her." I was at the door when he called after me. "Don't be too long. You have a big day tomorrow."
...
I was still shaking when I got back. Bella was on the couch and Sue was talking quietly to my dad in the living room while she packed her bag. They knew I was listening, but I kept one eye on Bella while I finished cleaning the kitchen to stay out of Sue's way.
I didn't understand everything Sue explained, but Bella's body had managed to contain a tiny dose of venom under the scar tissue in her hand. Whatever stresses she'd been through lately may have made it become active, but she thought it had all been removed. Sue's main concern was what this meant for Bella in the long run, and that we would just have to wait and see.
"I'll come back tomorrow to check on her. Call if anything happens or she starts running a fever." Sue was brisk and businesslike, but gave me a small reassuring smile. "I'm sure she'll be fine, Jake." My dad saw her to the door where they said their goodbyes. She reminded him to not hesitate to call.
My mind replayed every angle of the table and her hand I'd seen in the collective memory. I saw Bella's nails digging at the table, and the flash of light off the blade was bright enough to make you squint. The sounds were always the same anguished whimper, the crackling of the wood in her teeth and the gasp that went around the room when it came out of her hand.
Edward's venom... his poison had been in her. I knew he saved her life, and I was grateful for that, but a dark little place in me was furious that she was ever in a place that made any of it possible. He had no right to fucking touch her in the first place.
My anger died as soon as I knelt down next to her, resting my chin on the armrest so I could watch her. She dozed, opening her eyes for a moment now and then and, seeing me, would smile and drop back off.
Bella was changing. Slowly, her face took on rosy color and her hands became warm and dry instead of clammy. The shivers and winces stopped, and her eyes and forehead relaxed. It had been just one hour, and with everyone gone but my dad and me, I could hear her breath, gentle and without the ragged draw I had gotten used to.
I heard the faint squeal of my dad's wheelchair next to me. "She looks better already Jake." He patted my shoulder. "But I hardly think she needs to sleep on the couch after the day she's had." I stood and went to the guest room- Bella's room- and straightened out the sheets and stacked the blankets at the foot of the bed so I could pull them over her easily.
When I walked back out to the living room, my dad was pulling off one of her shoes. "You got this, Jake?"
I swallowed. "Sure sure. No problem." I lifted Bella off the couch and she sleepily wrapped her arms around my neck. I turned the light off in the room and sat her on the edge of the air mattress, which puffed up and almost dumped her on the floor. She started to slouch.
"Can you sit up, honey? I just want to help you for a sec." Bella straightened and opened her eyes. One of her hands cupped my cheek, then she stroked my brow with her thumb. She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Even in the darkness, her eyes seemed clearer and full of life.
I was kneeling in front of her, between her knees. Bella leaned toward me and kissed me softly, and I heard the zip on her jeans. I squeezed my eyes shut and kept my hands on my thighs, my palms itching to touch every inch of her. She leaned back and tugged at the waist of her jeans. I scooted back and pulled at the legs and slipped them off.
I kept my eyes on her face because I knew those legs, I knew her body. Under any other set of circumstances, it would have been the sexiest thing I'd ever seen or imagined, but this evening had been a nightmare. I folded her jeans, then cradled her head and neck and guided her down until she was lying on the pillow.
I kissed her forehead and tucked a couple blankets around her. "Sleep, Bells." Her eyes blinked, then drooped, but still held mine as if she needed to know I was there to let go. When her head dropped to the side I stood, and joined my dad back in the kitchen.
Scraps of paper and envelopes had been thrown to the floor and I picked them up, tossing some junk mail in the trash. There was a blank envelope with papers inside. I glanced at the pages without reading them closely. Legal forms.
"Hey Dad, did you update your power of attor-" My voice caught when I saw the name at the bottom of the form: Charles Swan. My dad plucked them out of my hands and folded them back into the envelope.
"It's just a precaution he took when he left town." He tugged me down by the arm. "And there's no need to burden Bella or anyone else with it." He wheeled down the hall to his room and I followed him to help him into bed.
Neither of us had much to say as I helped him into his pajamas and set the rocker switch on the bed next to him. The night had sort of spoken for itself. I stepped into the bathroom to get ready for bed while he got settled. He was a few pages into his new book when I came to check in one last time. I gave the door to Bella's room a long look as I crossed the hall.
"You all set, Dad?"
"Yes, son. You going to bed now?" He looked at me over his reading glasses.
I hesitated. "Yes. I'm pretty tired, and I have a, uh, big day tomorrow."
He looked back down at the book in his hands and flicked at the corner of a page to turn it, dragging the bottom edge along his well-worn shirt. "Well, goodnight, Jake."
"Goodnight, Dad." My hand was still on the frame of the door when I heard him move around and make a soft coughing sound, his way of making an announcement.
He kept his eyes on his book. "The door stays open, Jake. And not a word to Charlie."
I tapped the doorframe to let him know I understood and shut off the hall light. The rest of my usual night time walkthrough felt surreal because it ended at a different room. I left the bathroom light on and the wedge of light fell on Bella as I opened the door. She was curled up on her side hugging one of the spare pillows, her hair flipped over her pillow and spilling off the end of the mattress.
My added weight on the mattress made Bella's smaller frame rise a few inches and she snuffled sleepily at being jostled. Once I laid down, the damned airbed stayed still but had found a new equilibrium. I relaxed and listened to her breathe again. She rolled over onto her stomach and I felt her hand slide by me.
"Jake," she mumbled.
"Right here, baby."
She scooted a few inches closer, then slid into the ditch my body made in the mattress. I don't know how awake she was, but she laid her head on my chest and shoulder, wrapping her arm over my chest, snuggling into my side.
I no longer felt like I had to squeeze her to let her know how much I loved her. I wanted to run my hands over her so she knew I was there, and let her use me as her pillow if it made her happy.
"Love you, Jake."
"Love you, too, Bells."
I drifted off to sleep, feeling her even heartbeats against my side, her breath tickling over my chest. I roused during the night and we had changed positions. I'd always dreamed of spooning her, of curling myself around her body; instead I was on my stomach, and she was half sprawled across my back, her leg resting in the small of my back and her cheek on my shoulder blade.
I went back to sleep with a smile. We couldn't even be normal in our sleep, but somehow we managed to do something beautiful anyway.
.
*sigh* Ups and downs, all for you.
As I mentioned once before, this originally was an imprint one-shot. The original scene was the 'extraction' you read here, and after hitting a dead end when I wrote it, I stewed for a week and developed this story.
We are clawing our way there, my friends. I don't expect this story to go over 25 or so chapters.
Thank you so much for reading, and please leave a review if you're so inclined. 3
sfiddy
Note- when I posted this morning, I forgot to include the definition tag for the title... oops.