The Obsessive Smashers Show!
By Hoogiman

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Super Smash Brothers which I happen to feature in this story. These Smash Brothers characters are the property of Nintendo. However, the bogus usernames that I made up and the same guest reviews that I reviewed myself over and over again are the property of me! Not that anyone cares, because once I blocked about 40 people, I lost all of my e-popularity (or popularity on the internet), then no-one reviewed my stories! However, I still persist to review my own stories, giving me a false sense of security! I also boast about how my most popular story has about 40 favourites from other authors, when really 35 of them are bogus accounts that I made, 1 of them was me adding my own story to my favourites, 3 of them were accounts that I hacked into that I put my story on their favourites, and the other one was a genuine reviewer that liked the story! What about that? What are the odds? Honestly! Uh… and closing sentence to talk about how the characters in this story are property of Nintendo.

Author's note: All of the characters will be covered, in essence of Know Your Smashers/rip-offs any other of those chat shows that cover a few individuals each chapter. If you tell me who to do next, most likely your character will go last, except if I like your favourite character, then you get off.

Dry note: This is dry as a dehydrated marathon runner after running twelve marathons. He would be so dry that he would be hospitalised and/or dead.

The Obsessive Smashers Show!

Episode Two: Ganondorf

"Ganondorf! Evil supervillain! And also a Smasher who has had his handful of tournaments!" said the narrator.

Some pictures of Ganondorf smiling while holding decapitated heads appeared up on the screen.

"But when Ganondorf is not being watched by anyone, he displays odd behaviour!" said the narrator.

A few clips of Ganondorf petting his piggy banks showed up on the screen.

"Luckily, our hidden cameras caught all of this odd behaviour!" said the narrator.

Ganondorf saw a cameraman in the room.

"What are you doing with that friggin' large camera in my room?" asked Ganondorf angrily.

"Er…" said the cameraman, "I'm a hidden camera, so you're not supposed to see me."

"Ah," said Ganondorf, continuing to give his shoes pet names.

"His main trait is to treat all inanimate objects as pets or babies!" said the narrator.

"Hey Ganondorf," said Zelda, walking into Ganondorf's room, "I did the washing for you. Here you go!"

"Shh," said Ganondorf angrily. "Can't you see she's sleeping?"

"Oh, did you get a new puppy? Hehe, that's cute," laughed Zelda.

"Shh," shouted Ganondorf, still angry. "Can't you see she's sleeping?"

"Okay," said Zelda quietly, "Have you seen my handbag? It's missing. It's black, made of leather, has a strap that has the shape of a-"

Zelda saw Ganondorf, patting her purse in a puppy basket.

"Er… Ganondorf, that's not… a puppy… that's my… handbag," said Zelda, shocked.

"Haha, funny joke!" laughed Ganondorf.

"But," said Zelda, eyes wide open, "You're patting… an inanimate object…"

"Haha, funny joke!" laughed Ganondorf.

"That's it! I'm taking my handbag!" said Zelda, taking the bag.

"NUUEZ!1 My puppy!" shouted Ganondorf.

"Ganondorf is very protective about his so called 'pets'," said the narrator.

"Hello, police?" asked Ganondorf on the telephone.

"Yes?" replied a voice at the other end of the line.

"I'd like to press charges against Zelda for dognapping," said Ganondorf angrily.

"Dognapping? That's a serious offence! I'll be right there!" said the policeman.

"Ganondorf can be especially touchy if someone points out his strange behaviour," said the narrator.

"Do you like my new handbag?" asked Zelda, talking to Roy.

"Pretty Jazzy," said Roy in a charming voice.

"Hehe," laughed Zelda, "Jazzy."

The police came in, accompanied by Ganondorf.

"There she is! And there's my dog!" said Ganondorf angrily.

"Er… I don't see the dog," said the policeman. "Did she hide it somewhere?"

"No! That's the dog!" said Ganondorf, frustrated. "That is my dog!"

"What… the handbag? You're funny," laughed the policeman. "I don't see any dog!"

Ganondorf snatched the handbag from Zelda.

"THIS IS MY DOG, FOOLS!1" shouted Ganondorf, shouting.

Ganondorf stroked the handbag gently.

"It's okay, you're going to be just fine," muttered Ganondorf to the handbag.

Ganondorf looked at the police officer. "Now, arrest her!"

"I can't arrest her… for stealing her own handbag," laughed the police officer.

"IT'S A DOG! YOU PEOPLE ARE FOOLS!1" screamed Ganondorf.

"But it's… a handbag," said the police officer.

"Yeah, it's a handbag," said Roy.

"It's a handbag," said Zelda, annoyed.

"It's a handbag," said Falco, walking in the room just to say that line.

Falco walked out.

"It's not a handbag!" cried Ganondorf, "I KILL YOU ALL!"

Ganondorf stabbed everyone in the Smash Mansion.

To death.

Ganondorf picked up the handbag, and continued to stroke it.

"Er… that's all for today," said a shocked Narrator.

EDN.

(of chapter)

See? That was really dry. Review, but please, please, PLEASE, DO NOT review who you want me to do next.

LEAVE REVIEWS THO, K?