I bear no ill will toward you, my dearest mother. You were the only one to accept me, the only person who never doubted what I could be. I should thank you, really,
but I sense that your feelings have changed about me, have morphed from the evil I've done, and for that I do not blame you. It is only natural. I can remember so
many days spent by your side, so many moments spent listening to your soothing voice spin tales for me and for me alone. You inspired the good in me, the bright
light that tried so hard to shine through. We both know how quickly that flame was put out, though, and yet you tried so hard to make me smile. I was a small boy, a
child of such fragility, and you were my strong mother, my loving companion, and you helped me to grow. You aided my memory, really. You made my mind forget
all of the bad times, and all of the neglect was erased when I looked into your caring face, felt your loving embrace, and heard your kind voice. But love does not last
forever, at least it doesn't when it truly matters, and I hardly think you could remember me as I was, an innocent child, because of how I am now, an evil monster.
Please do not try to argue, I have no need for a response, and the words that you would say would break me even more. You might say that since you are my
mother, but we both know who's telling the lies there, your love is unconditional and eternal. I might believe you, if I could forget how I am not your son. Tell me,
though, did you feel betrayed? Did you feel hurt when I turned from you, when I took my rightful place in the world as its destroyer, its murderer? Did you feel
invaded? Did you think of all the times you rocked me to sleep as a babe, so warm and so unlike any of those monsters Odin told you about, and feel like I had
slipped into your heart and stole your precious love? Did you feel like it wasn't right? Well, I felt nothing. I am the monster that slits your throat as you sleep, the
creature that looks back at you in the mirror, the alien thing that gains your trust and rips your heart out of your chest. I find it such a laughable matter now, how
you could love me so, all the while knowing what I was, what I was meant to be in the storybook of history. I suppose it just goes to show how deep your love is
capable of running. I would admit this to no other, so do not take this lightly. I used to dream of settling down, used to have fantasies of meeting a nice woman at
one of those stupid little feasts, but it never happened. I would hope for children, hope to know the love that made you glow with happiness, but what was I allowed?
Nothing but a father who did not love me, a brother whose light was too much, and a mother who refused to hate me. Now, my mind is muddled and my body is
quickly running out of energy. I might say that I love you, because I have always loved you so completely, dear mother, but the fact that I resent you for not letting
me go makes me remember Thor, and when I remember Thor I begin to cry. It is all one giant, pointless cycle that will only end when the equation is finally balanced.
On one side, there is you and Father, both harboring a different kind of love in your hearts. On the other, Thor and I are beside one another, just as we have always
been, our bond so strong and yet so weak. Odin pours his love into Thor, and you love the both of us equally. Well, this cannot be. One parent cannot love both while
the other just loves one. A child must go so that the parents can focus their pride on just one brother. I am the child that must go. When I depart from this world,
Thor will be the planet the two of you orbit around, and I will be a dead star, tossed away and forgotten. I might mind the forgotten part, if it were Thor I was talking
to. Odin has always been forgetful of me so I don't care. But you, mother, it will be better if you do not recall a memory of me. Allow your heart to mend, allow your
love to fade, and then you can be at peace with my decision to leave you. Let your soul fix itself, my beautiful would be mother, because the thought of you finally so
happy and unburdened is the only thing that makes me smile.
Sorry for any mistakes you may find. I try to catch them all, but you never know. ;) Please R&R!