The Obsessive Smashers Show!
By Hoogiman

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Super Smash Brothers which I happen to feature in this story. These Smash Brothers characters are the property of Nintendo.

Author's note: All of the characters will be covered, in essence of Know Your Smashers/rip-offs any other of those chat shows that cover a few individuals each chapter. If you tell me who to do next, most likely your character will go last, except if I like your favourite character, then you get off.

Dry note: This is dry as a third-degree burn. (cue the flames)

The Obsessive Smashers Show!
Episode Four: Zelda

"Zelda! Princess of Hyrule, adored by all!" said the narrator.

A couple of pictures of Zelda kissing assorted babies of different species appeared up on the screen.

"She has always been a good friend to all people!" said the narrator.

"Here Ganondorf, I put a nice little band-aid on your arm!" said Zelda, smiling.

"Gee, thanks!" said Ganondorf sweetly.

Link stared blankly at Zelda, shocked.

"It's not what you think!" shouted Zelda.

"But when no-one is looking, she is living a double life that would shock many viewers. In fact, because of the shocking truth of this segment, viewer discretion is advised!" said the narrator.

"Zelda…" said the narrator.

A picture of Zelda looking innocent showed up on the screen.

"Is actually…"

Some stock footage of an audience gasping appeared on the screen.

"Falco Lombardi!" said the narrator.

"Roy, I have a confession," said Zelda, clearly intoxicated.

"What?" asked Roy, taking a sip of beer.

"I am…" said Zelda, struggling for words, "Falco Lombardi!"

Roy did his pig laugh, and laughed so hard to the point of hyperventilation.

"She has been caught on camera telling THE TRUTH!" said the narrator. "In fact, sometimes the truth hurts so much for some people, they don't even believe it the first time!"

"No… I'm- I'm serious," said Zelda, "All of those things Falco said to you… that was… that was me in a costume all along!"

"What? That's not true! You- you are just- you are just a liar!" cried Roy. "You are a liar! You're lying! You're lying! YOU LIE! KILL THE WITCH! KILL THE LYING WITCH!"

Roy started to throw bottles of beer at Zelda whilst crying.

Falco walked past the camera.

"Zelda's costume is very elaborate!" said the narrator. "In fact, the costume looks so effective, that the lips even move when Falco talks! We went to Falco's room to make him take off the costume!"

A few cameramen and a presenter busted into Falco's room.

"Hi there, we're from the 'Smash Hollywood Channel', and we're here to find out the truth!" said the presenter, grabbing Falco.

"What truth?" asked Falco, obviously confused.

"Just get rid of the costume, you're not fooling anyone!" said the presenter.

"W- what costume?" asked Falco, scratching his head, in a state of concern.

"Fine then, I'll remove it for you!" said the presenter, tugging at Falco's head. "Now all we have to do is remove the mask!"

"I'm not wearing a mask! What are you doing? Get out of my room!" said Falco.

The presenter tore some feathers off Falco's head.

"THIS… IS… PROOF… THAT FALCO IS REALLY ZELDA!" shouted the presenter. "We have spoken!"

The camera crew ran out of Falco's room.

"WTF?" asked Falco.

"We tried to get Zelda in her Falco costume sleeping the next day, but unfortunately, Falco pressed charges and ordered a restraining order so… we can't follow up on it… ever again… but… FALCO IS ZELDA!" said the narrator.

"That is all…" said the narrator.

EDN.
(of chapter)

See? That was really dry. Review, but please, please, PLEASE, DO NOT review who you want me to do next.

LEAVE REVIEWS THO, K?