The Obsessive Smashers Show!
By Hoogiman

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Super Smash Brothers which I happen to feature in this story. These Smash Brothers characters are the property of Nintendo.

Author's note: All of the characters will be covered, in essence of Know Your Smashers/rip-offs any other of those chat shows that cover a few individuals each chapter. If you tell me who to do next, most likely your character will go last, except if I like your favourite character, then you get off.

Dry note: This is dry as a third-degree burn. (cue the flames)

The Obsessive Smashers Show!

Episode Five: Fox

"Fox, leader and hero of Star Fox!" said the narrator.

Fox continuously shot at Peppy's ship.

"You're supposed to shoot Wolf," said Falco over the intercom.

"Oh," said Fox, turning his ship.

Fox started shooting at Slippy. "Hahaha! Die Wolf!"

Slippy's ship blew up.

Falco sighed, and took Wolf's ship out with a single shot.

"Yay! I did it! I did it!" cheered Fox. "I am… your hero!"

"Yay!" said a lot of fangirls, running into the ship, hugging Fox.

"But-" said Falco, shocked.

"I did it! Hooray!" celebrated Fox.

All of the fangirls did their fangirly-like flirty stuff to Fox.

"Fox is currently the lowest ranked smasher, and a win for him is rare!" said the narrator.

Jigglypuff kept on punching at Fox, who just stood there.

"Why won't you let me KO you?" cried Jigglypuff desperately.

Jigglypuff passed out from heat exhaustion.

"Despite this, he still manages to maintain his large fanbase!" said the narrator.

"I did it!" said Fox, cheering.

All of the fangirls ran onto the stadium, cheered and did their fangirly-like flirty stuff to Fox.

"But Fox McCloud has a dark secret…" said the narrator, "…Fox McCloud's has never actually fought against anyone! The whole time he has been hiring stunt actors and professional wrestlers to stand in for him!"

"Okay, here's your fifty bucks!" said Fox, handing a wad of cash to a tall, muscular man wearing a fox hat. "Now go get 'em!"

Fox patted the man on the back as he ran out into the stadium.

"Start the match!" said a loud voice over the loudspeaker.

The muscular knocked out Link with one punch.

"Fox wins!" said the man over the loudspeaker.

"Switch!" shouted Fox, swapping with the wrestler.

"Hooray! I did it! I won! I did it!" cheered Fox.

All of the fangirls ran onto the stadium, cheered and did their fangirly-like flirty stuff to Fox.

"But Fox's truth is slowly making its way out!" said the narrator.

"Fox!" shouted Bowser, "Your match is on the television! Aren't you supposed to be there?"

Fox sat down on the couch next to Bowser. "Uh… no?"

Fox chuckled nervously.

"But it's a live match! You're fighting right now!" said Bowser, confused.

"Well… there's a time delay… the match is already over!" laughed Fox.

"Really? Then did you win?" asked Bowser.

"Of course!" said Fox, "The match was over really quickly, I did my Falcon Punch on him and then-"

"You don't have a Falcon punch," said Bowser, "Captain Falcon does!"

"Well, I swallowed him and copied his abilities!" boasted Fox.

"That's what Kirby does! Do you even know who you fought against?" asked Bowser angrily.

"Of course I know who I'm against! I'm fighting… uh…" said Fox, glaring at the screen, "Poh… po…"

"And shouldn't you be hurt or something! Popo just punched you in the face… there's blood everywhere!" said Bowser, concerned.

"Uh… quick healing ability?" chuckled Fox.

"And why do you look on the television very… un-Fox-like?"

"That's me with my usual match make-up on!" said Fox, proudly, "See? Doesn't that look like me?"

"An elaborate costume that looks like a human wearing a frog hat? How convincing…" Bowser rolled his eyes.

"I knew he should have worn better makeup…" muttered Fox to himself, "And to think that I paid him two hundred bucks!"

"What?" shouted Bowser, "I'm telling Master Hand that you're cheating! Cheating is wrong and against the rules!"

Bowser quickly pocketed the saltshaker he was going to use to poison Kirby, and walked out.

"I'll use my kung fu on you!" shouted Fox angrily, "You'll never get away with it!"

Fox ran up to Bowser and slapped him.

Bowser rolled his eyes, and walked into Master Hand's office.

"Little did he know that I have telekinesis powers!" laughed Fox, "I will abuse my powers to make Bowser resign as a Smasher!"

Fox chuckled maniacally.

Five minutes later…

Master Hand floated out of his office, and looked at Fox.

"So is Bowser resigning?" laughed Fox, "And by the way… I had nothing to do with it… I was not abusing my psychic abilities…"

Fox pretended to cough, and chuckled immaturely while his hand was over his mouth.

"What are you talking about?" asked Master Hand angrily, "I'm firing you! You're a phoney! And a cheater!"

"Oh," said Fox.

"Can I at least collect my prizemoney for that ti-"

"No," said Master Hand.

"Oh," said Fox.

EDN.

(of chapter)

See? That was really dry. Review, but please, please, PLEASE, DO NOT review who you want me to do next.

LEAVE REVIEWS THO, K?