Standard disclaimers apply
SasuNaru, yaoi, OOC, CD and unbeta-read
Author's note: This is one of the fics I had written before "The Uchiha couple" but never had the courage to post. I was supposed to recycle this and include it to TUC but after weighing things over, decided not too. After a rest, I polished it to get back my momentum of writing SasuNaru.
Please read "Silent Desire" and "Snippets of Eternity". I also posted the beta-read chapters of TUC at my fiction archive. See profile for link. Enjoy.
Sight
a sasunaru story
On the day we said "I love you" to each other, we became one so even when we are separated, I'll be with you…
The Sharingan was one of the deadliest and finest blood line limits any ninja clam could have. It could memorize any ninjutsu, taijutsu and genjutsu with deadly accuracy and allowed its user to use them. It could see through genjutsu and at the same time capable of impressive hypnosis that involves suggesting actions and thoughts to its victim. Lastly, it allowed its user to see fast moving objects with great clarity.
Indeed, it was an excellent pupil technique and also the most messed up for no other blood line limit other than the Sharingan demanded its user to kill his most precious person just to achieve its heightened form – the Mangekyou Sharingan. Not only that, overuse of this form causes blindness eventually. So it wasn't a surprise to Sasuke when he found himself completely blind at the age of 25.
-サスナルは愛-
Sasuke stumbled... he floundered... he flailed his arms for anything but all he grasped was air and then he was falling...
…falling…
And he could clearly hear the subtle rush of the air before he felt a force pulling him back to safety and balance… to familiar warmth… to Naruto.
If it was anyone but Naruto, Sasuke would have snarled at them to fuck themselves in hell. But it was Naruto- his light in darkness and his anchor in these unending waves of trials.
Naruto rubbed Sasuke's back in a soothing manner, relaxing muscles tensed and braced for the impact that didn't came. "You missed a step. Don't push yourself too hard."
"I'm not," Sasuke replied, pulling himself away but he squeezed the blonde's hand, silently telling him that he appreciated his presence which he never did until a month ago.
The frustrations, disappointment, the villagers' rude remarks to his blindness mixed with his pride and self-hatred had made him refused any offered help until everyone had given up on him. Everyone but Naruto and he didn't like it. And the more the blonde stayed, the more hurtful were his insults. When insults didn't drive him away, Sasuke resorted to actions.
Every time Naruto would prepare him meals, he threw them to the opposite wall. It didn't matter that he'd end up starving or have another set of food shove down into his throat as long as he hurt the blonde. He was the spoiled and immature bastard and he would have continued being one if he hadn't heard faint sobs drifting to his room one night. The sobs were heart-wrenching and sad. And every night when his idiot thought he was asleep, he'd hear the blondes cry and he realized how lonely and in pain Naruto was.
Little by little, Sasuke had welcomed his presence and his help in his training. And slowly, their relationship was healing and on the night they made love with each other -their first since Sasuke's blindness- the man had awkward moments as well as slight difficulty in inserting his length into Naruto. But instead of insulting the dark-haired man, Naruto was patient when he needed more... wanted more.
What was best with Naruto was that he took control and gave it to Sasuke whether they were in or out of bed and the latter loved him more for that.
"You aren't hurt are you?" Naruto asked wondering if the unreadable silence coming from his lover meant he was in pain or in the mood of throwing his tantrum. He fervently hoped it wasn't the latter.
"My right toe hurt but it will be fine," he answered.
"Do you want me to kiss the pain away?" the blonde teased.
Sasuke smirked, "I think I cut my lips."
"I see no blood."
"You aren't looking at it well," he countered. He shuddered when he felt a very familiar tongue tracing his lips. Oh! How he wanted that muscle against his, within his mouth or against his length or on his body, moving teasingly… seductively.
"I tasted no blood," Naruto informed huskily, his eyes half-closed.
The blind man pushed his face closer... so close that he felt his breath rebounding against the tanned face. "Are you sure?" He felt his lover nodding. "Liar," he accused before pressing their lips together.
They shivered at the first punch of passion that hit them full force. It was so easy and so natural for them to get lost in the whirlpool they created with just a simple passionate kiss.
When they pulled back for air, Naruto had his arms tightly wound around Sasuke who had his body draped over his. He let out a shuddering breath as his blind lover laid siege on his neck with licks, nibbles and sucks. He arched his head back unable to stop his nerves from responding.
"Shika will be here soon," he said between short breaths. "We can't-" He trailed off as he felt a wet muscle tracing his sensitive ear shell. He moaned when fingers glided on his chest before circling around his nipples. At the tug of his shirt, he arched his back letting Sasuke slipped it off from him. Just as quickly as he surrendered himself to pleasure, he snapped out from his sensual daze when he felt Shikamaru's chakra from the front door.
"He's here," he murmured.
"With his IQ, he'll get the drift what we're doing."
Naruto nibbled an earlobe. "But I want that mission, Sasuke."
There was a plea in his tone that Sasuke immediately stopped all pleasure-inducing offense. He swallowed his own selfish request of asking Naruto to resign. The riches he inherited from his clan were more than enough for them to live luxuriously. However, he was absolutely sure that Naruto's commitment towards his profession wasn't about money but his ambition to be hokage so asking the latter to quit was like asking him to throw away what had given him hope throughout his bleak childhood years.
"Go ahead. We'll continue this later." And he knew just by the warmth that spread through him that Naruto was happy.
"I'll be right back, bastard," the blonde chirped before rolling away from beneath Sasuke and picked his shirt up from the floor.
The dark-haired man buried his face against the sofa, willing his libido to calm down. He hoped his lover would return before he'd go mad with want.
-サスナルは愛-
Naruto schooled his hair to its usual position and took a big breath to rid his face of the blush before answering the door.
One look at his friend's face and Shikamaru sighed. "Sorry for the interruption."
The blonde blushed. "We were just...ah... er...we weren't-" then cut himself off, realizing his friend wouldn't believe his excuses. He changed the topic. He led his friend to the patio.
Shikamaru gave him the mission scroll. "Your team is assigned to intercept and it will probably take one week."
Naruto nodded. His mind was already busy preparing things for Sasuke during his absence.
"It's an S class mission but after studying all data provided, its double S, if there is such rank, so get yourselves really prepared." He frowned. "Naruto, you there?"
"Of course." His friend then flashed his famous idiotic grin making the lazy genius grumble about troublesome blonde.
"How are you doing, Naruto?" he asked seriously and suddenly but Naruto was already used to the brunette's sudden seriousness especially when he knew the meaning behind the question.
Shikamaru attentively watched for any emotions that would flicker on those blue eyes. Being one of Naruto's confidants, he knew all the happenings between the couple, every harsh words and gestures Sasuke said and did and Naruto's pain. Thus, at one time, he was busy convincing him to leave Sasuke and single-mindedly pursue his reachable dream of being hokage but the blonde was adamant against it.
How could I surpass all hokage before me if I would abandon and flee from the person I loved the most during his bleakest moment?
Naruto was still as loyal to Sasuke as he was during their teenage years and foolishly so. But hadn't the blonde preferred to be a fool rather than forget Sasuke?
The blonde clenched and unclenched his fists. How long since he and Shikamaru had talked about Sasuke? Two weeks and a lot of things had happened between him and his lover.
"He's doing fine. He throws fewer tantrums now." Then he clutched the balcony railing tightly, slightly leaning forward as he added, "But there are moments when I see him brooding and a suicidal look grace his face that I become afraid that if I take my eyes of from him, I'll find him dead. I'm very worried, Shika and I wish…" There was a distant look that graced his face as he admitted to himself that his constant fear was seeing his lover's corpse in their house. Every time he arrived from his mission, he would rush back home just to check that Sasuke hadn't killed himself yet. And when he saw him, he would sigh in relief; said a quick prayer of thanks and hugged him just to make sure that he was not an apparition.
"You wish what?" the genius prodded gently.
"That things would go back to the way they were before this happened. Sometimes, I feel so tired that I just want him to hold me and say… say things that would give me strength."
Shikamaru looked at his friend sympathetically. "Naruto, I-"
But the bright smile that broke the blonde's face cut him off. Naruto laughed sheepishly, "No need to worry. I'm fine. Things are fine. We can cope up. We always do." And he continued laughing and the brunette let him change the topic.
-サスナルは愛-
When Shikamaru left the house, Naruto found himself pinned against the wall by an angry Sasuke, blank obsidian eyes staring at him.
"Sasuke?" he asked as confusion settled on him. What did he do now to merit such anger?
"What was all those shit you told me? About us sharing each other's burden because we are one?" He had been sharing all his burdens with Naruto and he expected him to do the same.
"They weren't shit, bastard!" Naruto retorted, his frame shaking with anger and hurt.
"It looks like that to me," Sasuke hissed.
"Shut up! What would you understand anyway?"
"You never let me."
"And give you the chance to push me away? No way! I know you'd take it as opportunity to push me away. I'm not stupid, asshole!" This time he couldn't stop the tears cascading down his cheeks. He wished Sasuke wasn't blind; that things would go back to the way they were and that he-Naruto wouldn't feel threatened by the idea of Sasuke leaving him.
I'm tired. No more… I'm too tired, he thought and his heart clenched at such treacherous thought. Be strong, his heart ordered.
For how long? I'm at my limit now.
Just be strong. For my survival, be strong.
And the more he tried to stop crying, the more he cried.
There it was again. Those sobs that made Sasuke feel the worst shit in the universe and he couldn't stay mad at his blonde. He just couldn't when he knew the sacrifices Naruto made. He walked towards him and reached out to wipe the tears away. "I always make you cry," he murmured.
Naruto was busy sobbing and sniffling that he didn't make any reply to that statement but to Sasuke, his tears were enough to affirm his comment.
"Dobe, I'm sorry." And he wished that sorry was enough… more than enough.
Naruto just hugged him. "Then swear to me that you will never push me away no matter what happens."
"I swear not to do that," he whispered back. He didn't have to tell that he had lost that fight a long time ago; or that it was the blonde's victory.
"Then it's enough. It's more than enough!" And he hugged Sasuke, wishing they could maintain this peace. He immediately deepened their kiss, clinging to this serene moment. It didn't matter that they were in the middle of their living room and that the curtains were parted. He just wanted Sasuke's promise… needed the man.
The kiss was like a fire to the desire that had been constantly running through their veins. A single moan, a single slide of tongue against another and they burst into untamed flame, engulfing and taunting the other to burn fiercer.
They clawed against their clothes before tearing them away from each other. Sasuke fondled the pliant tanned body with great yearning while Naruto grope the perfect pale body with mindless abandon. Foreplay was a blur and ended too quickly but they weren't complaining. They needed the sense of ultimate intimacy and of completeness that only happened every time Sasuke was inside of him and with him welcoming the dark-haired man as he filled him with everything that he had.
"Oh God! Sasuke, just-" Naruto moaned as his lover penetrated him with a single thrust. Tears fell at the onslaught of heat, fullness and pleasure mixed with slight pain and discomfort. "More," he breathed as he wrapped his legs around Sasuke, his heels digging into his back.
Sasuke grunted and obeyed his lover's pleas. He brushed Naruto's sweet spot, stimulating it until the blonde had become a writhing mass of pleas and moans but to him, it wasn't enough. He wanted Naruto to be happy so he changed his angle and relentlessly banged against his target. He could hear the blonde shouting his desire but to Sasuke who was intoxicated with pleasure itself and who was tipsy with the warmth and tightness that surrounded him, his shouts were faint and came from a distant place. He continued moving, his pace getting desperate, his momentum getting stronger.
They held each other's hands and attacked each other's mouths, exchanging bites and swapping saliva. Everything was gaining speed until they were moving too fast beyond comprehension… beyond logic and reason and Naruto wrenched his mouth from Sasuke to shout out his orgasm as both of them toppled over the edge in breathless and mind-numbing satisfaction.
Still intimately connected, Sasuke laid on the floor pulling Naruto on top of him. He lazily moved his fingers on the blonde's back as they gathered their composure.
"Sasuke, I have a mission this late afternoon and it will take six days at maximum." His lover just nodded before saying, "Don't mess up, dobe."
Naruto pouted, feigning annoyance. "I never mess up and don't call me that, bastard." Shyly, he added, "When I get home, can we have a romantic dinner at some fancy restaurant? Then we can take a bath together." He blushed as he started imagining about that day.
Sasuke kissed the blonde's forehead, "How about we'll have the romantic dinner here? I won't mind preparing it." The other man beamed and kissed his lover fully on the lips. "I think I like that better."
-サスナルは愛-
On the eve of Naruto's arrival, Sasuke felt foolish for being overexcited of their romantic dinner when in his opinion there was nothing to be excited about. There was a big possibility that their romantic dinner would end up like the previous ones they had on their home – unfinished because they were too busy fondling each other to focus on their food and they ended up doing each other. Truthfully, that was what he intended to have when he suggested that they would have their dinner at home.
The shrill buzzing of the doorbell broke Sasuke's fantasy. He opened the door and from the scent his nose picked up, he knew it was Shizune.
"Sasuke-kun, I am sent by Tsunade-sama to inform you that you have an eye donor. If you are willing, we will have the eye transplant operation tonight."
Eye donor? Transplant tonight? There was confusion and surprise as Shizune's news echoed in his head and then happiness bubbled inside him. He would be able to see his dobe once more. He would be able to welcome him home with his eyesight back. He now had more reasons to look forward for tomorrow.
"Shall we go?" he asked, his excitement poorly hidden from the medic-nin.
-サスナルは愛-
The next day, early morning, Sasuke was sitting on the chair in front of one of the sannin, bandages around his eyes. He could barely contain the impatience he felt for having to wait three hours before the bandages could be removed. Mentally, he was already running the list of the things he need to do in preparation for the romantic dinner. He decided to give Naruto the best candlelight romantic dinner he ever had so far.
Finally, bandages removed and he slowly opened his eyes adjusting to the brightness of the Hokage's room. The first person he saw was Tsunade with her deathly pallor. Was the operation that difficult that it had taken toll on her?
"How do you feel, Sasuke?"
"Better and I am seeing clearly."
"Good." She relaxed a bit then tensed again as Sasuke asked for a mirror. Was it just him or was there a sudden change of the atmosphere?
Shizune silently handed him a mirror and with shaking hands, he took the mirror and saw his new eyes. They were breathtakingly beautiful. They were as blue as the sea or as blue as the sky. They were definitely as blue as… Naruto's.
He froze as cold fear gripped his heart.
"W-where's Naruto?" he asked and was met by silence. He looked at Tsunade, her honey brown eyes filled with pain. He shook his head in denial. It couldn't be. This was a joke, no a nightmare. He needed to get out; needed to wake up.
His eyes landed on a very familiar mask on Tsunade's table, making his blood cold. He stumbled towards it.
God, if you exist then please... don't let it be his.
With clammy fingers, he picked the mask and turned it over. He felt hot at the same cold when his eyes landed on the Uchiha clan symbol he had engraved on the inside of Naruto's mask almost three years ago.
My God! Not him. Not my...
He unconsciously pressed his lips against the portion where he knew the dobe's lips would touch.
Please... For once, hear my plea. Have pity on me.
"This is just a big joke, right?" he asked.
Tsunade wondered how she would make Sasuke understand when there was so much fear and panic on his eyes. "Sasuke," she started, trying to reach out to the man through the loss they had but the latter recoiled. She cringed when she saw insanity lurking at the edges of black pools. "Sasuke."
He covered his eyes with his hands. "Take this out. Take this out NOW!" he screamed He was trembling with fear, pain and in coldness. No, this couldn't be happening… definitely not happening.
Dobe. Usuratonkachi. Naruto.
"I want to see him. I don't need these eyes," he cried and murmured incoherent words which sounded like an assurance that Naruto was still alive.
"Uchiha, Sasuke" Tsunade all but shouted to get the man's attention. Her voice made him whimper before he shut up. He stared at her with unfocused blue eyes.
"He had been fatally injured during his mission. Kyuubi had a hard time healing him. And at the time he finally manage to heal all those wounds, Naruto died due to blood loss. His last request was to give you his eyes before we'll tell you of his demise. I'm sorry."
Tsunade's heartfelt apology made things final, Sasuke's logic knew that but he was no longer thinking straight. He needed to get away and he did by jumping from the window. He found himself streaking towards the cenotaph which would confirm the news.
He saw the rest of the rookie nine, their teachers, Iruka-sensei, Gai-sensei and his team. They were all garbed in black. All of them were crying but when they felt Sasuke's presence, they parted and gave him a perfect view of the marble and the sunflowers they had laid in honor of Naruto.
He clenched Naruto's mask and walked straight towards the stone.
A sob slipped past his lips as he saw the name of his dobe. He fell on his knees and traced each character as if such gesture would bring Naruto back to life. He didn't want this. To lose one's reason of existence, this was too much. Sure he wanted his eyesight back but not like this…never like this. What was the point of seeing when the person he wanted to see was dead?
His hopes had disappeared, his dreams became nightmares, his heart was beyond repair and he was ruined. Completely. Utterly.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
Sasuke fell on his knees and cried his heart out to heavens as he tumbled towards the cold darkness, different from before and this time warm sunlight won't reach him there because his sun was forever gone. He threw his head back and shouted at the heavens for its cruelty. Not even the thunder that rolled across the sky could drown out his cry and not even the sky could cry enough for the pain he felt.
I won't just be your sun anymore. I'll be your star and your moon to watch over you when the sun sets in the west.
終り
