two years earlier

"Strigoi!"

I whirled around at the voice knowing instantly who it was.

I was standing outside the coffee shop waiting while my charge was inside getting coffee, dont ask me how it happened, but I had been forced to be assigned to Tasha Ozera much to my dismay, dont get me wrong I grew up with her, but she was my last choice for a charge seeing as how she wanted me to be more than that, but I didnt, my heart was somewhere else entirely, everyone knew that but it didnt stop her trying.

"Strigoi have broken the wards!" Rozas voice called out again more frantic than the first time. I froze, my eyes darting around all over the place, scanning the area for immediate danger. The sirens started blaring causing every single person to whip their heads around and then frantically race towards the safety of a building. Guardians were rushing to their moroi and unassigned ones were making sure everyone was getting to safety and securing the area.

Tasha ran out of the coffee shop, her eyes wide as she looked around, searching for me I guess because When her eyes landed on me she visibly sighed with relief and then barralled into me.

"Dimka, lets go, we have to get out of here." She cried, wrapping an arm around mine and pulling me towards moroi housing. I was about to follow when I heard a scream, it pierced through me.

I spun around, my eyes flicking past the buildings before pausing on a sight that almost had me on my knees.

Between two of the buildings I could see Rose standing against a wall, facing two strigoi, I wouldnt have been as worried as I felt until I looked properly at her. One of her arms was bent in an unnatural way, like it had been snapped to the side. She had blood trickling down her forehead and I could tell she was panting like she had already been fighting for hours.

"Come on Dimka, shes a guardian she can handle herself, Im your charge, youre supposed to get me to saf-" Tasha cut her self off as I took a couple of large strides away from her.

The need I felt to get to Roza, to help her was overpowering my willingness to do my duty... I knew it was wrong, I knew Tasha was right, I had taken an oath as her guardian to protect her above all... They come first... only right now, in my mind, it sounded foolish, no one comes first in my heart except for my Roza... and right now she could die.

"Roza!" I yelled as I watched her use her good arm to attack one of the strigoi, her stake expertly ripping into the skin of his chest. I honestly dont know how she did it, but with one arm she managed to pierce his heart and make him crumple to the ground just as another guardian appeared by her side and fought against the second strigoi.

I heard a scream behind me, turning my head to see Tasha backing up slowly in my direction, another strigoi stalking towards her with a hungry expression. I glanced once more at Roza, she was heading towards the palace clutching her broken arm, no doubt to where Lissa was.

I turned back to Tasha in time to see her clench her fists and the strigoi burst into flames, screaming in agony. I ran at him and plunged my stake into his chest, yanking it back out as he crumpled to the ground.

"What the hell Dimka!" Tasha all but screamed at me as I walked her towards her housing again, checking every corner and dark space for any strigoi lurking around.

I honestly didnt know how to reply, I knew the way I had reacted back there was bad, I shouldnt have hesitated, I shouldnt have been more worried about Roza than my own charge, the person I have sworn my life to protect... People may know about my relationship with Roza, but Dhamir Dhampir relationships are still frowned upon, many moroi still dont like it...And I guess this is why, if guardians are more worried about protecting other guardians then Moroi are the ones that will end up dying... and thats exactly what I had done, I had almost left my charge, mostly, unprotected and she could have died had she not been a fire wielder who actually practices offensive magic.

We got up to her room, searching every area inside to make sure it was secure before I went to stand at the window to keep a look out, while Tasha stood in the middle of the room scowling furiously at me.

"Im sorry ok, honestly Tasha, I dont know what I was thinking back there..." I said sighing and running a hand through my hair.

"I sure as hell do, you were thinking about her. You were going to leave me defenseless to go and save her. Dimka, youre supposed to be MY guardian, youre supposed to protect me, I could have died." She had tears in her eyes as she spoke.

"I...I know theres no excuse...but I promise you it will never happen again." I tried to sound as convincing as I possibly could, even though I could feel it in my heart that as long as I knew Roza was in danger that there was always a very, very big possibility its exactly what I would do again... she would always come first to me...

"You're right, it wont... Because we are leaving court." She said giving me a hard stare and crossing her arms across her chest.

"Wha... What?" I asked disbelief clear in my voice, my eyebrows knotting together as I stared at her.

"You heard me, Your duty is to me Dimka, and as long as you are here, where you are distracted by her then you will never protect me like you are sworn too... We will leave for Russia first thing tomorrow." She said, finality clear in her voice as she turned from me and stormed her way into her bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

I was frozen to the spot, my mind didnt want to comprehend what she had just said. She was forcing me to leave? She was taking me away from court because I wasnt doing my job... I knew in the back of my mind that it was the right thing to do, I had lived my whole life believing that my duty comes first, and it should. We are trained right from childhood to protect moroi life above all else... but the minute I met Roza all of that went out the window...

Maybe this is the right thing to do? I turned my eyes back to the window, still checking for strigoi though I had seen none since we came up here... My mind was whirling as I tried to decide wether It was the right thing to do...

I sighed as I realised that yes, the right thing to do is to go with Tasha, to be her guardian, her proper guardian, without the.. distractions... but could I really leave my Roza behind? It would be like leaving my heart and soul behind, but its my duty... Its my duty as a guardian... As a dhampir... Duty before Love, that had to become my new mantra... They come first, duty before love...

But...how do I tell Roza?

"Come on Dimka, our flight leaves in an hour." Tasha called from the living room.

I cant believe im going though with this, I cant believe Im going to leave the love of my life behind so that I focus on my job. My job protecting a women that, although I have been friends with her since childhood, I didnt want to follow halfway around the world.

I carried her bags out of the room and stood by the front door, since I barely had any possessions worth taking, all I needed was a duffle bag and I could sort that out once all of her gear was loaded onto the plane.
We walked solemnly, well I did, Tasha practically skipped all the way to the plane on the other side of court.

Once her bags were loaded she said she was going to say goodbye to Christian and some of her friends and that she would meet me here in an hour... I guess this was it, no more procrastinating, no more putting off the inevitable. I had to go and find her.

I walked over to the guardian apartments and up to her room, pausing outside her white door to try and collect my thoughts... how was I going to do this... theres no way she will like the fact that Im leaving, she wont let me. I know she will put up a fight, I wouldnt even put it past her to go and hunt down Tasha and beat her because of it...

I had been up all night last night figuring out how to make her see that this was the best thing to do... I had decided that, no matter how much it hurt me, and it would hurt more than anything in the entire world, but I had to make her believe I wanted to go, that I wanted to leave her behind...

I knocked on the door, listening as I heard the banging around and shuffling of feet. It was early so I knew she would probably have still been in bed...
She flung the door open, an agitated scowl on her face until she registered that it was me, then her face lit up and a huge smile graced her beautiful face. Her eyes, despite the sleep still in them, shone with joy to see me...

My heart ripped as I thought about what I was about to do.

"Comrade, good morning." She smiled, lifting herself onto her toes and wrapping her arms around my neck, she must have gotten Lissa to heal her arm since yesturday. It was an automatic response that I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her into my chest and nuzzling my face into her hair, I inhaled her scent, the vanilla and floral scent that was purely My Roza.

I would miss this, I would miss the feel of her skin against mine, the beat of her heart against my chest when I held her, the smell of her skin... it was like heaven to me, I was only ever truely at peace when I was with her.

I must have held onto her longer than usual, because she pulled back with a puzzled expression on her face. "Comrade? Whats wrong?"

She knew me too well, my mouth turned down into a frown and I bit into my bottom lip.
Releasing my grip on her, I pulled her into the room by her hand moving over and sitting down beside her on the couch.

I held both of her hands in mine, rubbing small circles on the back of them as I looked at the floor, trying to find the words to start the conversation we were about to have.

"Dimitri?" She asked quietly, lowering her head slightly but still looking up into my eyes.

"Roza... I... Tashas leaving." I started and then paused, waiting for her to catch on to my words. It only took a second, her eyebrows knotted as she looked at me, her confused look turning to one of anger.

"What do you mean, shes leaving? But... you're her guardian...How long is she going for?" She asked, I could tell she was trying to keep her voice low.

"For good... she... WE're moving to Russia."

She yanked her hands out of mine, standing up from her seat as she started pacing in front of me.

"No, she cant do this, Dimitri you cant go... Dont go... We can make her get another guardian" She started rambling angrily.

"Rose, I was assigned to her by the queen herself, shes not going to be able to just get another guardian." I tried to explain. She knew that the queen had specifically told me to be her guardian, the queen was adamant that I had to be the one to do it because Tasha would need the best of the best when she started training other Moroi to use their elements offensively and since Lissa had Rose, she didnt really need me. The strigoi wouldnt like the fact Tasha was training moroi, so she would be a target for them.

"I dont care! There are other guardians out there capable of doing it, and she knows how to use her fire! She doesnt need you! Dimitri you cant go... We'll sort something out..."

"Roza, Im going... I have to go." I replied, standing up to stop her pacing.

"No you dont!" She said, she even stamped her foot in anger.

"Yes I do, Roza...You dont understand... They come first! That attack yesturday, I almost let her die and shes my charge! I put YOU before her, I saw you being attacked by those two strigoi down there and I started running towards YOU leaving her practically defenceless!" I ended up yelling the last bit, trying to get my point across.

Her eyes were wide and shining with unshed tears. She bit her bottom lip and moved her eyes so that she was looking to the left instead of at me.

After a moments silence she murmured, "You're leaving me." putting emphasis on the 'youre'. It hurt me to hear her say it, and it hurt more that I couldnt deny it. Because I was. I was leaving her here, I didnt know when or if I would see her again... in our line of work either one of us could be killed...

"I dont mean anything to you do I?" She asked, her voice trembling just a little.

I was shocked that she would ever think that, how could she? I would tell her how much I loved her everyday, I would always show her how much I did. "How could you even say that Roza?"

"You're leaving me Dimitri... You dont seem to even find it that hard to leave, you're acting so calm about it... You want to go dont you? How long have you known?" She asked, her voice taking on an accusing tone. Though she still wouldnt look at me.

I shook my head, "She decided last night. And If I had the choice you know I would stay, but I dont. I dont have a say in it Rose, They come first, thats how I was raised, its how you were raised."

She lifted her chin higher slightly, as if she was trying to defy what I said, I knew she was trying to come up with an argument but its true, every dhampir is taught right from birth that Moroi life is more important, that we need to protect them.

"Im sorry Roza... I have to go... You understand dont you?" I asked, hoping more than anything that she did...

"Sure, I understand perfectly Guardian Belikov." My heart broke into a million pieces hearing her use my formal title. Her tone was a mix of anger and hurt, and I could see the pain in her eyes as she turned back to me. She knew this was it for us, that I was leaving which meant that I was leaving our relationship, leaving our love behind.

"Roz-"

"Dont. Just dont. Get out Dimitri, go on, go and take care of your charge" She said raising both of her hands palm faced up towards me as she turned her head away from me.

I dont know what came over me, I got so furious at the way she was acting. "Stop being a child Rose! I would never make you chose between me and your charge! I would never force you to chose between me and Lissa, why must you make this so difficult!" I said, running a hand through my hair in frustration.

She looked at me like I had just slapped her, but she didnt say anything in response.

"Our plane leaves in half an hour, I really hope I see you there before I leave..." I said, looking at her once more, but she was looking out the window, her face hidden from me. I knew she wouldnt say anything else to me, I had hurt her with that last bit but maybe... just maybe it was better this way...

I turned around and left the room, closing her door behind me and leaning against it as tears filled my eyes.

Half an hour later, as I walked up the steps of the plane I turned around, my eyes sweeping the area one last time... nothing... she wasnt coming... there was a chance after this plane takes off that I would never see my Roza again...and she wasnt coming to say goodbye either... I had destroyed the one thing I held closest to me...

My Roza...