"Finally... home at last." Tasha sighed dramatically as she dropped onto the couch, throwing her wallet onto the coffee table.
I shook my head, smiling slightly. "Come on, a date with me isnt that bad is it?" I asked raising one eyebrow.
She actually looked horrified when she realised how I could have taken that comment. She shook her head, "Thats not what I meant and you know it Dimka. You know I love spending time with you." She laughed, I could hear the obvious meaning behind her words, the way she put emphasis on the love and you.
"It was a good night." I replied, taking my duster off and putting it on the chair.
"It doesnt have to end yet you know?"
I looked up, surprised at the change in her tone... she was kneeling on all fours on the couch, leaning towards me slightly. She had a wicked grin on her face, I knew exactly what she was thinking... it was the complete opposite to what I was thinking.
I didnt know what to do, or how to respond. I didnt want to hurt her feelings, I like Tasha, Only not enough at the moment to get into that sort of situation with her... I just couldnt do it, I know I couldnt. Theres no way I would be able to go through with it, I couldnt be intimate with someone that I didnt love...
"Tasha..." I replied hesitantly, trying to look everywhere but at her.
I heard her get off the couch and walk over to where I was now sitting on an arm chair, on the other side of the room. She put both hands on my shoulders and moved so that she was sitting... Or rather straddling my lap, her knees on either side of me.
"Come on Dimka, What better way to end our date. We've known each other for so long now, I know you have feelings for me, I can see it... and well... you know how I feel." She practically purred, wrapping her arms around my kneck and joining her hands together.
There was a war going on in my mind, part of me, the typical man side, was saying 'do it, do it, you said you were going to move on... what better way than to sleep with her, your feelings for her will grow with time... do it.' and then there was the other part of me, screaming and yelling 'what about Rose! what about Rose, you love her, you need her, fight for her, You said you would fight for her.'
It was like something in that moment clicked in my brain, as soon as I heard my heart scream to fight I knew I had to. Last time I just gave up, I threw in the towel and turned my world upside down, this time I had to fight, I had to atleast try.
I couldnt do this with Tasha, not now... Not ever.
I placed my hands on either side of Tashas hips and gently pried her off me, I stood up so that she was now sitting and I was facing her.
"Tasha... I cant... Im sorry." I said gently, watching as her face dropped so that she looked incredibly hurt, but that only lasted a second. Being replaced almost immediately by an angry scowl.
"Its her isnt it? You're so stuck on that slut that you cant even see what a great thing you and I could have, Dimka I can give you so much more, a family, kids, a life." She said.
"Rose is not a slut. And I dont care for children if I cant have them with her, shes the only one I have ever wanted Tasha, Im sorry but I have to atleast try to get her back, Ive been in hell since I let her go two years ago, I didnt fight for her then but I sure as hell am going to fight for her now." I replied, my voice sounded heated and passionate, I havent spoken like that in a long time.
It was because I was finally listening to my heart, in the course of a day I had completely changed my mind, but I knew deep down I had to do it, I had to try for her, I had to get my Roza back... If she will have me.
"I cant believe it. You're really choosing her over me, and a family... Dimka she has a boyfriend, shes with Adrian, he can give to her exactly what I can give to you, dont you think shes going to want a family some day, thats something you cant give her. Why cant you see that its best for you to just leave her be. let her be with him... So you can be with me" Tasha was practically pleading with me now, she was gripping my arm tightly.
"Tasha I cant be with you, You cant force someone to feel something they just dont." I said, I knew it would probably hurt her but I needed to say it, I needed her to see that I cant truely be with her... I would never truely be able to be with anyone else.
I have never seen Tasha look so broken as the words tumbled out of my mouth, she looked so hurt and destroyed and yet she looked terrifyingly angry within the second.
"Fine. Get out Dimka, get out and dont come back. I dont want to see you, you are no longer my guardian!" she was practically screaming at me now, her hands were balled into tight fists and the glare she was giving me was murderous. I took a step towards her,
"Tasha please, you have to understand... Im sorry if this is hurting you-" I started to apologise, I really didnt want to lose her friendship after this many years but I had to stop when she raised her fist, it had burst into flame and she was getting ready to pull it back and swing at me.
I moved backwards as quickly as I could, I didnt need to get burned trying to calm her down, maybe if I leave she will calm on her own... and hopefully not burn the apartment down while shes at it. I grabbed my duster and my wallet off the chair and walked as fast as I could to the door, I could feel her angry gaze on me the whole time.
As I opened the door and took a step outside I turned to look at her, "Tasha Im sorry-"
"Get out!" She screamed at the same second she threw a small orange fire ball at me, I quickly yanked the door closed, hearing the thud and sizzle as it hit the wooden door. I let out a breath as I slowly started walking away.
That definitely could have gone better.
I knew I needed to find somewhere else to stay since I obviously wouldnt be welcome back at that apartment any time soon, so I headed straight for the guardian head quarters.
Luckily Guardian Hanz was in the main office so I knocked on the door.
"Ah Guardian Belikov, what can I do for you?" he asked, looking up from his computer screen.
"I uh... I need a room."I said.
"oh? I thought you were staying with Lady Ozera?"
I shook my head, "Not anymore." I really didnt want to go into detail, especially not about my personal life.
Thankfully he didnt question me on it further. Just typed away on his computer before handing me a room key.
"thank you Hanz, and feel free to call on me if you need an extra guardian while Im here." I responded as I stood up and walked out again, heading straight over to the guardian housing building.
I decided to take the stairs since my room was only on the second floor,taking them two at a time.
I could hear someone thumping down the stairs heading my way, but I assumed that they would be watching where they were going... Boy was I wrong.
We rounded the corner at the same time, both slamming into eachother.
"Hey watch it!" she yelled as she landed backwards on the stairs at the same time I was pushed back and landed with a thud against the wall.
"Excuse me?" I replied, rubbing my back and looking at her with a slightly amused expression. "I believe youre the one who ran into me."
"I...uh..." Rose looked up at me like she only just realised who she ran into, a subtle, but noticeable blush crept over her face. I almost couldnt believe it because for a moment she was speechless... Rose was never speechless...
"Youre the badass, you should have used your super speed to get out of my way or something."
Ahh there it is. I smiled as the Roza that I knew came back, her sarcastic attitude shining through again. I just shook my head as I looked down at her.
"Are you just going to stand there like an idiot or are you going to help me up?" she asked, lifting one hand up to me so I could help her up.
I guess I dont really know my own strength, I meant to only get her to her feet, but instead she ended up falling straight into me, Crashing into my chest. I dont know what came over me but my hands wrapped around her waist, helping her keep balance but the touch of her made that old familiar tingle run through my entire body, from our close contact I could make out the sweet vanilla scent that was purely my Roza. For a moment I forgot that she wasnt mine anymore, and before I could stop myself I whispered in Russian against her hair, "my sweet Roza."
I could feel how relaxed she was in my arms, she hadnt pulled away as fast as I would have expected but when she did, I felt the loss of her contact immediately, a cold breeze seemed to come out of no where and sweep around my entire body making me shiver slightly. Oh the things this women did to me.
She was looking at me with an odd expression on her face now as she stood an arms length in front of me. It was like a mix between confusion, fear, hurt... and was that love? I couldnt be sure wether it was really written in her eyes or if it was just me wanting it to be there.
"sorry...Dimitri... I have to...go..." she seemed to speak so hesitantly, almost like she was hiding something. It may have been nothing, but it was enough to get my curiousity up.
"In a hurry to be somewhere?" I asked, folding my arms slightly across my chest.
"I uh... I have to go and...pick someone up." She wouldnt look me in the eye as she spoke, her eyes flicking from one wall to the floor and back again.
"Oh yeah?" I asked hoping for a little more information than that, but I got the distinct impression that she wouldnt tell me anything more seeing as how she just stared back at me. Though I was intrigued to know who this person was, we are at court afterall, where its safe for moroi to go where they like and not need a guardian trailing them, but I decided to let it go for now, Ive got enough on my plate trying to deal with Tasha. "Alright Roza ... goodnight." I said, trying to smile but from the look on her face I knew she could tell it was forced.
"Goodnight Comrade." She smiled back before turning and pushing out through the doors.
I sighed and continued walking to my room, once I was in there I dropped my duster and shoes on the floor and flopped down on the bed. It was time to start planning operation, "win back my Roza."
I had to convince her that I wanted to stay, and to be with her... And that she should be with me, so I would do whatever it takes.
Whatever it takes...