"Is it true?" I demanded, palms flat as I leaned foreward on the table and stared down at them.
I had stormed out of the gym after a long while of pulling my thoughts together, I had come to the conclusion that I needed proof, I needed hard proof that the little girl was mine. I believed Roza when she told me, but I still needed something more... she had said they had DNA evidence that she was mine, I wanted to see it.
So I had stalked across court aiming for the med clinic but along the way I caught sight of Lissa and Christian sitting outside one of the small busy cafes.
They both looked at me like I was crazy, confusion written all over their faces. So Rose must not have spoken to them yet...
"Is what true?" Lissa asked turning her body towards me and putting down the cup of coffee she had been sipping on.
"Is Faith my daughter?"
She literally spat out the coffee that was in her mouth, her jade green eyes going wide as her hand tried to discreetly wipe away the coffee trickling down her pale white chin.
She cleared her throat softly, I caught her eyes discreetly glance quickly in Christians direction and then back at me. "What are you talking about? Where did you hear that?" She asked, I had known her long enough to call her bluff, she was trying to avoid having to answer my question.
I shook my head, running one hand over my face, "From the horses mouth, does it really matter? Now is it true." I demanded again.
"I dont think we can answer that. Not unless Rose was here." Christian answered for her, pulling my attention away from Lissa. I glared at him, his tone was sarcastic and annoyed, like I didnt deserve the answers to anything but this was important.
Lissas phone buzzed loudly from where it sat in the middle of the table, she grabbed it and read the text. She bit her bottom lip as she put her phone back down and looked at Christian. "She told him."
That one small sentence answered all of my unanswered questions. I sunk down into the chair I was standing beside, almost physically unable to stand anymore. The weight of this news was more than I could handle. I put my head in my hands, squeezing my eyes shut. Lissa wouldnt lie, she would also know if Rose was lying... in this case she wasnt.
"Dimitri... Im sorry we couldnt tell you before." Lissa said quietly, putting a gentle hand on my shoulder.
I looked up at her, I hadnt even thought about that... My daughter was almost 2 and this was the first I was hearing about her!
"Why? Why couldnt anyone tell me?!" I asked, my voice felt hoarse and sore, as though my throat was closing up.
"Rose... well she... after you left she was devastated, she wouldnt leave her room or go anywhere... for a while there I had to get a replacement guardian. Then she found out she was pregnant... at first she didnt believe it so we had her tested, when it came back positive it was like she became the old Rose... only different..." Lissas voice wavered slightly before she stopped altogether.
Christian continued for her, "She was still fiesty and sarcastic... but she was hardly the fun Rose that we all knew, it was like she was in pain all the time... not so much physically but more emotionally. Untill Faith was born... She became herself then. When we asked about Faiths father she was adament that it was you, so to prove it she had DNA tests done... shes definitely your biological child. But Rose refused to have you involved. She kept saying that since you left to do your duty that just because you have a daughter it wouldnt change that, you wouldnt or shouldnt come back just because of her. She made us promise to never mention Faith around you"
I couldnt believe it, I had ruined everything by leaving, I shouldnt have ever put my duty before my Roza... before my family. Its not right... its my own fault I havent been around for Faiths life...
Would I have come back if I knew about her? Would I have abandoned my duty for her? I knew the answer right away, Yes. Yes I would have come back, I would have taken up a position here at court or something so that I could be with her... its what I should have done in the first place, for Roza. I was so stupid to think I was doing the right thing by anyone when I left... all I did was hurt the people I care about, hurt myself.
"Where is she? Where is Roza?" I asked standing up abruptly from my seat.
My sudden outburst seemed to shock Lissa, it took her a moment to reply. "Shes down by the falls on the other side of court."
I took off running, without even saying goodbye to them. I just needed to get to Rose, I needed to tell her how I felt, to let her know that I wanted to be around, I wanted to be part of their lives... I had to make things right, and I wanted to know my daughter.
I ran faster than I thought I ever could, jumping over the small brick garden borders and tearing around the corner of buildings until I got to the other side of court in record timing. I slowed down when I got to the familiar path that lead through the trees towards the boundary of the wards. This was where Rose and I would come when we wanted alone time outside of the apartment, it was like our own special place... well to me it was anyway.
I walked down the dirt and grass trail, ducking slightly under a few low hanging branches untill I heard the tell tale trickle and splash of the small waterfall that fed into the pond. I couldnt help but remember all the times I had walked this track with Roza, sometimes walking hand in hand and other times playfully chasing her through the trees. It felt almost like an entire life time ago that we were so happy together.
"I knew you'd find me" Her voice carried to me as I walked out of the trees and into the tiny clearing beside the pond.
She sat on the lone big boulder nestled beside the water, her bare feet dangling into the cool clear liquid. I noted how relaxed she looked, leaning back on her arms, her long hair dangling down behind her almost touching the smooth surface of the boulder. She was watching me with wary eyes, and her face looked drawn and tired.
"Roza..." I murmured loud enough for her to hear, as I walked slowly towards her.
"Dimitri, Im sorry about the way I spoke to you... It surprised me... I wasnt ready for you to find out about her..." She began speaking quietly, I guess not wanting to disturb the peace of the area.
I shook my head, taking a seat on the boulder beside her, close enough that I could smell her vanilla and floral scent but not close enough to touch. "No Roza, Im sorry. Im the one who should be sorry. I should never have put my job before you, If I had stayed then I would know her. I dont blame you for keeping her a secret, Yes I am upset about it, But I blame myself more than anything. I had the chance to be with you, to stay with you but I blew it... and Im sorry. If I could go back I would change it all, I would fight for you, I would stay with you... forever. Im only angry at myself for being so stupid." I wanted so badly to make her believe what I was saying, to know the sincere truth and honesty behind what I was telling her.
"Dimitri... Its taken you two years to come back and admit this... I dont know if I can... I mean, Adrian?..." She was quiet, almost whispering all of this to me. It dawned on me then that I had just presumed that she would leave him and come back to me, that we would go straight back to being the happy couple...scratch that, happy family that I so badly wanted... But she was still with Adrian, maybe she loved him? The thought almost tore my heart out.
"Do you love him?" I forced myself to ask, keeping my voice as calm and composed as possible.
She stared into the crystal clear water for a long while, I didnt think she was going to answer me at first.
"I dont know... I thought I did... and then you came back and it was like everything I felt for him changed back..." She looked up at me, her large deep brown eyes were glistening as she studied my face. I only hoped that she could see all the hurt and pain, regret and love that I knew was written all over me. I was never able to fully keep my guardian mask in place when she was around.
"Oh Roza...Im sorry... But I want you to know that Im back for good. I refuse to leave you and Faith ever again, Ill be here as long as you or she needs me... Even if it is just as her father." I still found it strange to admit that I had a daughter, that I was a father. It was almost surreal to think especially since I had woken up this morning believing it was impossible. Rose obviously heard the hesitation in my voice, she looked at me curiously.
"So You really believe me?" She asked
I nodded without hesitation, "I know you wouldnt lie to me about something so important, and I know you saw me talking to Lissa." I said, a small smile playing on my lips as I tapped my forehead. Rose must have been sucked into Lissas head when she was so shocked that I knew, hence the text Rose had sent her.
She smiled in return, turning back to the water again. "You know, Faith was asking about you before, after I told you about her I had to take her to playschool. She wanted to know everything about the 'strange tall man'." She almost laughed as she recounted talking to our daughter... our daughter...
"What did you tell her?" I asked curisouly.
She bit her bottom lip lightly, "I told her she would have to ask you herself, but that you were the one who taught me to fight... Her eyes had almost bugged out of her head, her exact response was 'But mummy youre so badass... that would mean hes SUPER badass!'" She outright laughed when she told me, and I Couldnt help but chuckle too. She definitely sounded like a mini Rose.
"So youre not angry at me?" I asked her, I wouldnt blame her if she was... this wasnt something I expected her to forgive me right away for, But her reply surprised me.
"No. Like I said the other day, I understand why you did it, I wasnt happy with your choice but I respected it. I couldnt expect you to come running back just because I was pregnant... Part of it was selfish, I mean I knew you would have come back for her, but I wanted you to come back for me, because you wanted to be with me."
She sounded so grown up, so mature, not at all like the Roza I had known. I couldnt believe how much she had changed mentally in the last two years. It saddened me to think how much my one decision had affected and changed her.
"Roza... Im so sorry." I turned to her, putting one arm around her shoulders, more to comfort myself than her.
She surprised me yet again when she shifted herself closer, so that she was almost sitting in my lap, her arms wrapping around my neck as she buried her head in my chest. "Stop apologising Comrade... just please... please promise me if you decide to stay that you wont leave again... I couldnt handle it again." She mumbled against my shirt. My arms wrapped protectively around her, like I could shield her from the past... I knew I couldnt but I knew that I could do my hardest to stop it from happening again.
"Never. Roza Im here for good, I want to be with you, and with Faith. I... I still love you." It was hard for me to say again, I didnt know how she would take my admission so soon after everything but I needed her to know it, I had been holding it in since I saw her face again... no actually, Id been holding it in since I had left 2 years ago. My feelings had never changed, they had never even relented.
I felt her body shake slightly, a small sob sounded from her. My arms tightened instinctively and I kissed the top of her head.
"I love you too." She whispered, "But is it enough..."