A/N - Meeting Randy Mantooth was so fantastic. The play he was in was terrific and I was able to speak with him for awhile after the show. He was everything I expected; gracious, kind and funny. (And still very, very handsome.) What a wonderful weekend I had! I went with my best friend, but with any luck my husband and I will be going back to see it again. :)

What a Pain! - Chapter Thirty

Mike leaned his head back in the chair and let the morning sun shine on his face. His body relaxed with the warmth and he smiled. It felt so good to know he was going home again.

Chet helped Mike from the wheelchair into the van and Mike tossed a soda can away from the floor and slid into the seat. Chet hadn't said much, at least not out loud, ever since Mike and Johnny told him they were moving in together. Mike hid his smile wishing he knew what thoughts were racing around in Chet's head.

Chet closed Mike's door and returned the wheelchair to the hospital. While he walked, he told himself he was pretty sure the guys were just pulling one over on him, but...what if they weren't? Gage and Stoker looked and sounded pretty convincing, but what about Marco? And they said Cap was supportive?

"If this is a joke and I say somethin' to Cap, he'll give me latrine duty until this time next year!" he mumbled. "I'm gonna have to talk to Marco first, that's all there is to it!"

Then Chet thought again, "But what the hell am I supposed to say? He'll think I'm nuts. This has gotta be a joke, it's just gotta be! Then again, I guess you would maybe form a bond with someone who's been through something that awful with you. I just never figured Stoker or Gage to like guys..." Chet's preconceived notions had taken quite a beating with this...whatever it was, and for once, he wasn't sure how to respond, and it irritated him to no end.

From the passenger side window of the van, Mike watched Chet returning and snickered when he saw Chet mumbling and making faces to himself. Although Chet didn't make Mike his target at the station too often, Stoker had to admit that watching Kelley squirm was pretty satisfying. Amusedly he thought, "I think I'll just take this up a notch."

"H-Hey, Chet," Mike asked, "c-could we run a fffew errands be-before you take mmme home?"

"Uh, yeah, sure Mike, where d'ya' wanna go?"

"W-Well, I nnneed a few grroceries; I do-don't have any i-idea what's l-left in my cab-in-ets," Mike mentioned, "aand I'd like t-to ssstop by the flor-ist too."

Chet gulped, "The florist?"

Mike looked away shyly, "Yeah, le-let's go to 'Roger's F-Flowers' on Sep-pul-veda."

"Uh...okay," Chet complied.

The grocery store was an easy enough task to manage with Mike needing only a few things. Caffeine was on his temporary list of no-nos though, and he frowned at the packages of decaf coffee and tea he purchased.

"No caffeine for you, eh Stoker?" Chet ribbed.

"Nope. At least not for a while anyway. Guess that's another thing I'll have to get used to."

Chet wondered what the other things were that Mike needed to adjust to, but felt maybe he'd ask about that a little later. They drove on in silence until they pulled up in front of the florist's. Mike looked over to Chet who was rubbing at a spot of something on the window.

"Hey, w-want to come in with mmme?" he asked. "I nnneed your o-pin-ion on something."

"Sure...uh, sure, Mike, no problem," Chet sputtered.

The bells on the door jingled as the guys walked in, and a girl wearing a hot pink mini-dress and white boots was sitting on a stool behind the counter. She chewed her pinkie nail absently and flipped through a magazine, tapping a pencil on the counter in time to a song on the radio behind her. Looking up and noticing the two customers, she smiled at them.

"Welcome to Roger's Flowers," she said automatically,"can I help you?"

Mike approached the counter, "I-I'd like some fl-flowers sent to Rrrampart Hospital, please."

When Chet heard that, he knew in his gut who they were for. "I don't believe this...I just don't believe this..." he kept telling himself over and over.

The clerk took the information from Mike who then turned to Chet, "Hey, Chet, y-you think John-ny would like dais-ies or c-carn-nations better?" Mike was almost embarrassed by how much fun he was having milking this joke for all its worth.

Chet paled, "Uh...I dunno, I uh, never thought about it. Daisies, maybe, I guess?"

"D-Daisies it is, th-then!" Mike replied enthusiastically.

The clerk placed a small card in front of Mike. "And what would you like on the card, sir?"

Mike considered the sentiment thoughtfully,then made sure he said aloud, "Hmm, h-how about..."To John, mmmy hero, come h-home soon. Love, Mmmichael."

Chet paled and scootched over to look at a display..

The clerk looked up and smiled, "That's so nice," she told Mike, "I'll get these delivered today."

"Tha-That's great", Mike smiled, "thank you." He turned and saw Chet peering in the refrigerated case at the pre-made arrangements. "See s-something you l-like?"

"What? Oh, uh, no...uh, are you ready to go?"

Mike smirked, "Sure, p-pal, let's g-go."

With that, Stoker and a thoroughly befuddled Chet headed for Mike's house.

E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!

Once the laughter had died down, Dixie wheeled Johnny back to his own room and helped him back into his bed. Once he was settled, she gave him one of her lovely smiles and Johnny relaxed. Being bed-bound was a sure recipe for a grumpy paramedic and awkward though it was to maneuver from the bed to the wheelchair and back again, he was pleased to be up and around.

Gingerly, he lay back on the pillows and once he was comfortable, sighed and closed his eyes. Mike was going home today but that still left Captain Stanley to worry about.

"Dix?"

"Yes?"

"Cap's really gonna be okay, right?"

Johnny hadn't yet seen his Captain and although Roy told him Cap was doing alright, he wanted to hear it from someone in the know. "I mean, he really is going to be okay...enough to come back to work?"

He opened his eyes when Dixie sat down on his bed and placed her hand on his. "I uh, know that injuries like his...well, sometimes you can't do the same stuff anymore, ya' know? Cap, he, well, all of us really, we need to be at our best for haulin' hose and climbin' ladders and...I-I know Cap doesn't rappel very often like Roy and me, but..."

Dixie's intuition showed her Johnny's real fears. Her features softened, "I understand, John, I do. Remember when Joe had his heart surgery?" Her voice wavered a bit with the memory, "That...fear of nothing being the same...all the 'what-ifs' and 'what-nows'...well, that kind of worry can really do something to you. But I promise you, Doctor Ramsey really is one of the best surgeons we could ask for and I'm sure your Captain will be out of here and home before you know it."

She gave his hand a pat then stood up. "Besides, he wouldn't know what to do without you guys and your jokes. You know, why don't you go visit him this afternoon after lunch? I'm sure he'll want to help throw a house-warming for you and Mike, right?"

Johnny snorted a laugh again. "Yeah, poor Chet. I think we freaked him out a little, huh?"

Dixie giggled a reply, "Yes, just a little. Get some rest, Johnny, I'm sure Dr. Brackett will be in to see you later."

"'K, I will," Johnny said, tiredly, "thanks, Dix."

"You bet."

E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!E!

Chet finally convinced his van to pull into Mike's driveway. Although it was a sure source of jokes at the station, and the beat-up white VW often coughed and sputtered, it was still Chet's pride and joy.

"Okay, my man, you are home!" Chet said happily as he ground the gears into park. There was no response from the passenger seat and Chet looked over to see Mike asleep with his head against the window.

Chet chuckled quietly, "Too pooped to party, I guess."

He got out and walked up to Mike's house. He fumbled a bit with the keys, then unlocked the door. He smiled with approval at the sparkling clean house and admired his and Marco's work for just a moment, then he went back to Mike's room and retrieved a blanket and pillow and placed them both on the sofa. He remembered seeing a set of TV trays in the closet, and set one of those up next to the sofa and put a couple of magazines there for easy reach. When everything was ready for Mike, Chet went back to the van to wake him.

"Hey, Mike, you're home, man. You gonna wake up?" Chet lightly tapped the engineer on the arm, "Mike? Hey Stoker, nap time's over."

Finally, Mike awoke with a start and sat up, looking around with bleary eyes.

"Huh? Chet...you, I mean...oh, hey! I'm home!" He shook himself awake and breathed in the fresh air wafting in the van. He closed his eyes and smiled as he enjoyed the scents of freshly cut grass and the blooms on the magnolia and orange trees.

Chet went around and opened Mike's door. "Yeah, man, you're home. C'mon, I'll help you in."

Slowly, but deliberately, Mike slid from the van seat and placed his feet on the concrete driveway. Each step was careful, but he was excited to go inside and see Sir Pain again. Man, how he missed that cat! He stepped inside the door and stopped short, standing there on the parquet floor.

Chet watched his friend as Mike stared into the living room, half-expecting to see the remnants of the night he was attacked. Instinctively, he looked down at his feet and was almost surprised there was no blood there on the tile. The curtains were pulled back and the windows opened, allowing the sunshine and fresh air inside. Not a trace of the terrifying night was to be seen and Mike realized that not finding what he expected to see was helping him put it all behind him.

"Chet?" Mike whispered, "Did y-you clean ev-ery-thing up?"

"Yeah, pal, me and Marco did it. That's uh, okay...isn't it?"

"Um, y-yeah...yeah, i-it's okay..." With the cuff of his shirt, Mike wiped embarrassedly at the moisture pooling in his eyes, "Thanks, mmman."

"Hey, it's cool, we just wanted to help out," Chet told him. A few more seconds had passed when Chet cleared his throat, "Uh, Stoker? Are you gonna go all the way in your house or just stand here in the entryway? I mean, I can move the couch over here if you want, but you're gonna have a hard time seein' the TV from here."

Mike laughed, "Al-right, smmartass, I was just th-thinking."

He walked into the kitchen and Chet returned to the van to get Mike's things. When Chet returned, he heard Mike walking from room to room, calling for Sir Pain.

"Oh boy, this is gonna be hard," Chet thought. "Say, uh, Stoker c'mere a minute willya'?"

Mike walked back in to the living room, "Wh-What do y-you need, Ch-Chet?"

"Well, I, uh, got this stuff all ready for ya'," he stalled, pointing to the blanket and pillow on the sofa, "um, where do you want me to put your duffel bag?"

"Uh, I g-guess the clothes c-can go in the l-laun-dry and all th-that other stuff c-can go in th-the kitch-en," Mike told him. "Chet, I-I can't fffind Sir P-Pain. I'm g-going to look out-side."

Chet dropped the duffel bag and followed Mike out through the patio doors in the kitchen to the backyard, "Mike? Um, about Sir Pain..."

"Wh-What about h-him, Chet?" Mike asked without turning around. Then he strolled toward the garden, "I b-bet that orn-ornery fur-ball is out here..."

Chet groaned inwardly and he placed a hand on Mike's shoulder to stop him, arguing with himself over what to tell him about Sir Pain. "Mike? Hey, hold on a second."

Unbeknownst to both men, Sir Pain had heard the van pull up earlier and was sitting on the tree branch, closely observing Mike's house. Through the open windows he had heard Mike's voice calling for him. His human was home! He could see Mike out in the backyard now and scrambled down the tree trunk and ran to the fence, leaping and clearing it like a thoroughbred at a steeplechase.

Finally, Mike stopped and turned around. "Wh-What, Chet? I-Is he out of f-food or some-thing?"

Chet swallowed and chewed his lip, "No, no, he's got plenty of food, it's just that, well, he..." Then, out of the corner of his eye, Chet saw the little gray lightning bolt running towards them. "he's right over there!" he yelped happily.

Mike turned in the direction Chet was pointing and laughed at the sight of Sir Pain galloping toward him. He squatted down on the grass and held his hands out and Sir Pain mewed and mreeped his happiness. He purred so loudly, Chet wondered if the neighbors could hear it. Mike picked up Sir Pain and the two knocked foreheads affectionately.

"Hi, p-pal," Mike murmured to Sir Pain, "I mmmissed you."

Chet stood to the side, grinning with happiness and relief, then turned to go back in the house. He emptied Mike's duffel bag and put everything where he thought Mike would want it. He put Mike's medication bottles in an empty bowl by the side of the sink and wrote down what Mike was supposed to take and when. By that time, Mike and Sir Pain had come back in and were sitting on the sofa together.

Chet felt his work there was done and came in to say goodbye. "Hey, Mike, I think things are all settled now, so I think I'll get going. You gonna be okay? You want me to get some food around for ya'?"

Mike grinned, "Ch-Chet, thanks f-for ev-ery-thing, mmman, I mean it. I'll be f-fine."

"Well, I uh, guess I'll be going then, um, hey, just have, uh, have Gage call me when he's gonna be released and I'll, uh, bring him home, I mean, uh, here, uh, home...aw, you know what I mean."

Mike had forgotten about the joke he and Johnny were playing on Chet and felt a small pang of guilt. He'd need to call Gage as soon as Chet left.

He stood to shake Chet's hand goodbye. "Sure th-thing, Chet, I-I'll tell h-him. Th-Thanks, again. We-We'll see you lat-er."

"Yeah, uh, later. See-ya, Stoker."

Mike walked into the kitchen and decided maybe a snack wouldn't be a bad idea after all. He poured a tall glass of milk, grabbed a couple of cookies and made a ham sandwich with extra ham...so he could share.