Hey guys! So here's the second chapter in this awesome crossover, and don't worry, they will actually enter the One Piece universe! Thanks so much for being good sport Mindlessly Clumsy and Serendipital. Since I know you guys are new to Gintama, I'll give you some warning about the characters this time. Okita Sougo will be introduced in this chapter, and he's part of the police unit in the Gintama universe, the best in the force, and a complete sadist to match. No, he's an actual sadist! Both in personality and S&M. He's not Kagura's boyfriend in the anime, but they're a favorite couple in the Gintama fan community, as well as mine. Sakamoto is the most random of the characters, and is a friend of Gintoki from the war. Before you guys raise brow about my dialogue with him, yes, he actually talks like that. Worse actually. Also, Sadaharu is basically a giant alien, puppy-dog, who's part of a subspecies of a dog god. So when you picture Sadaharu, picture an adorable white puppy-dog. Thanks!

For the general audience now: warning, there are some explicit hints in this chapter, but I'm not doing an actual lemon or lime even. So the Odd-Jobs trio heads off form their planet and starts their adventure! Find out where they end up in One Piece! Read, enjoy, review!

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama

As much as Gintoki hated doing this, he knew he couldn't afford airfare, what's more…they couldn't afford airfare that would go into random parts of the galaxy, and a pilot wouldn't fly them for they could possibly suck them into a black hole. So with no other alternative, Gintoki swallowed his pride, alcohol supply, and ice cream parfait collections and called his good buddy, Sakamoto.

"Oi! Oi! Sakamoto, you doing anything right now?" Gintoki was currently hung-over and calling his friend for a favor. Not the best combination, as illustrated in the next few lines of dialogue. "You aren't doing anything right now, so get your ass down here and give me a ride."

"AH! KINTOKI!" His friend cheered on the other line. "Eh? Give you a ride?" The afro guy replied on the other line. "Why? I don't swing that way. When did you start seeing things that way Gin-san? Masaka…the Vice-Captain of the Shinsemgumi?"

"Not that way you bastard! Why would I go that way? Least of all with that Mayo-bastard!" Gintoki exclaimed.

"Danna…the chemistry between you and Hijikata-san is obvious, no need to hide it." Sougo replied, running his fingers through Kagura's hair. Her head rest peacefully on his lap, while she slept loudly. He was resting against the sleeping Sadaharu, who looked quite content with its master and lover using him as a pillow.

"No one asked you, damned sadist-pedo-bastard!" Gin pointed a finger at him. "And no violating minors in my home!"

"You have a minor in your home, Kintoki?" Sakamoto replied.

"No! I mean yes! It's Kagura dammit! The Yato-girl who owns that giant flea-magnet! And it's Gintoki you bastard! If it was Kintoki I wouldn't be available to public viewers!" Gintoki stammered.

"Oh yeah her! She's a cute one!" The afro man laughed.

"She's not cute! She's one of the seven chaos emeralds!" Gintoki exclaimed.

"Don't reference games that failed as an anime!" Shinpachi exclaimed. "What do Chaos Emeralds even have to do with it?"

"Seriously, it was one of the few good TV-shows America did, but then Japan ruined it for once, and made an anime out of it." The silver-haired samurai continued. "Honestly the games were freakin' hard, the cartoons were nicely adapted in the respective genres each fell under, but the anime was terrible. And Cosmo! Why Cosmo? What was the purpose of her existence? And what about Chris?"

"Can you move the conversation along already?" Shinpachi demanded.

"Shut it, Megane! This is a relevant topic about how everyone's childhood game was forever ruined by bad plot ideas and intense marketing guess-and-check demand!" Gintoki exclaimed. "But he's right! Sakamoto, I need you to give us a ride into space! There's a huge-"

"Oh, the Pirate's Eye Diamond? Otae-san already called me about it, and I agreed under no forced-words or pretenses. See you in two days!" The line went dead, and Gintoki stared at his phone in bewilderment. He slowly turned to his employee, who seemed just as shocked as his employer. "Oi? Did you know about this, Megane?"

"Gin-san, I have long-since learned not to eavesdrop or question what my sister talks about on her cell phone." Shinpachi replied mournfully.

"True, girl talk is girl talk, it is unnecessary to read into it any further." A long silence fell over the room. "OI! That means your sister's expecting a cut! That female gorilla wants a cut! What does that female gorilla need a cut! I'll cut her all right!"

"Don't jump to conclusions!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"Oh, but I do want a cut, Shin-chan." Otae's voice broke in, and the two idiots slowly turned to the she-demon of death. "You will cut me in, won't you Shin-chan? Gin-san?"

"N-No! As the Yorozuya-boss, I am putting my foot down and-" An abrupt kick to the balls quickly shut him up.

"Now then Shin-chan, since Kagura-chan's asleep and Okita-kun's not a part of Odd-jobs, that leaves you in charge." Her smile didn't waver, but her demon-voice was emerging. "So…the cut is fifty percent, right?"

"Yes! 50%!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"Good! I expect the smallest portion to go to Gin-san, I'll be going now. Oh, good day Okita-kun." She smiled politely at the man, who gave a casual wave back.

After she left, Sougo put on a deep frown. "An ultimate showdown is coming; she and I will battle it out with her for the throne of Sadism."

"WHAT THRONE OF SADISM?" Shinpachi exclaimed.

Two Days Later

As promised, Sakamoto arrived at the terminal airport, his assistant trailing closely behind him. The woman looked about excited to be there as Kagura enduring a sex-talk from Umibozu. Speaking of the Yato, she had left a few minutes ago with her sadist boyfriend to get something to eat, while Shinpachi was on his Ipod listening to Otsu's new single. So here Gintoki was, waiting for oncoming randomness assault. "AH! KINTOKI!"

Gintoki grabbed the afro-guy's hair and slammed it against an airport seat repeatedly. "Oi! It's Gintoki! Gintoki! You idiot! They'd cancel the show if I'd have that name!"

"It is good to see you again Sakata-san, be glad my leader didn't have anything better to do than invade random planets." His assistant replied.

"How does your group justify that? It sounds like you guys are alien invaders, probing your victims." Gintoki huffed and let his bleeding friend go. "What's your name again? Your so low on the popularity polls that I forgot completely."

KICK! Gintoki made a face-plant to ground, as the woman stomped his head in further. "It's Mutsu-sama to you bastard! And it's not my fault I get so little screen time!"

"Hai, hai, please forgive me Mutsu-sama, it was my forgetful mind that forgot your important status." Gintoki managed to reply.

"Don't play dumb!" She kicked Gintoki into her leader's corpse. "Hmph. Idiots."

That was when Shinpachi finally noticed what was going on and took out his headphones. "Oh Mutsu-san! Did you and Sakamoto-san have a safe trip?" He asked approaching them.

"Eh. The traffic getting here was worse than usual, however we managed to make it here unscathed." She replied. "Where is the Yato girl who is always with you two?"

"Ah. She's with Okita-kun, getting something to eat. I swear, the day those two stop being safe is when the real bringer of destruction will be conceived." The boy shuddered at the thought.

"What was that Megane?" The glasses kid flinched when he felt the dead-pan stare of the 1st division commander of the Shinsemgumi. He stood alongside an annoyed-looking Kagura, who seemed to agree on the same thoughts as her lover. "Innocent virgins shouldn't talk about such things, Megane."

"Innocent virgin! Who are you calling innocent virgin? It's thanks to you, Kagura-chan isn't one!" Shinpachi accused.

"Ah. And don't you forget it." Okita smirked, and wrapped an arm around Kagura, pulling her closer.

"NO INDECENCY IN PUBLIC!" Shinpachi yelled indignantly.

"Ano…who are you?" Mutsu spoke up.

"Ah! Mutsu! Welcome back!" Kagura piped up at the sight of the woman.

"You know this woman, China?" Okita raised a brow.

"Ah! She's the No-Brain-Idiot's assistant over there! The one laying under the useless idiot!" Kagura pointed to the two unconscious samurai. Okita figured it was the one with the sunglasses that Kagura was talking about. "Anyways! She's going to give us a ride out to the distant planet!"

"To find the Pirate's Eye Diamond, correct?" Mutsu spoke up again.

"Ah. I apologize for inconveniencing you like this Mutsu-san, but the diamond fell into a particularly distant part of space, and none of the normal pilots would go there. So we really needed Sakamoto-san's…" The boy was cut-off.

"So you couldn't afford space-ship tickets, and no one else was stupid enough to agree." The merchant woman sighed. "Whatever, it's no different than what my idiot-leader does anyways. When did you want to depart? How many will days will we be going?"

"We'd like to leave as soon as tomorrow if that's possible. And it's only me, Gin-san, and Kagura-chan going." Shinpachi answered cheerfully.

"Hey! What about Sadaharu?" Kagura raised her hand. "Who's going to take care of him if I'm not there? What if he gets lonely?"

"Oi China. What if I get lonely?" Okita asked in slight annoyance.

"Who cares about you Sadist? You'll just kill Mayo-freak to pass the time anyways!" She exclaimed and tried to push out of his grip.

"Maybe, but I'd rather amuse myself torturing you." The boy smirked and turned back to the woman. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but your ship's the Kaientai; the famous commercial company?"

"Ah it is. We're not busy at the moment, and the idiot-leader decided to help on a whim." She replied.

"I see then. I'll be going too." The young samurai announced.

"WHAT? You're not a part of Odd-Jobs! Why do you want to be a major part in the plot all of the sudden?" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"It has nothing to do with plot development Megane." Sougo deadpanned. "A while ago the Kaientai were suspected in being involved in a terrorist plot by Takasugi's Join fraction, and therefore avoided a proper investigation of the Shinsemgumi. So you and your idiot leader either can be placed in holding cells awaiting trial, or you can allow me to come too."

"Sadist! Mutsu and the Brainless idiot didn't have anything to do with that!" Kagura whined. "You just want to stalk me!"

"It's not stalking if you've already accepted me, China. And I can't trust a potential terrorist either." The sadist replied.

"Okita-san! Sakamoto-san really had nothing to do with it! In fact, Takasugi-san was the one that stole Sakamoto-san's cargo, and set him up for a huge disaster." Shinpachi explained.

"It'll take more than words to convince me Megane." The young officer replied.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you and this young lady are sexually active correct?" Mutsu spoke up, not troubled by the accusations at all.

"What kind of question is that?" Shinpachi yelled.

"Yeah. Sadist and I do it every day, a bunch of times a day. We just did it in the VIP bathroom." Kagura answered plainly.

"No one wants to hear that!" Shinpachi turned bright red.

"Don't forget the couch, floor, and table China." Okita added.

"Oh yeah! We did it all so fast that it was hard to keep track of how many times!" Kagura said cheerfully.

"Does that answer your question, Mutsu-san?" Okita smirked, making his grip tighter.

"I see. Should you let us pass without incident, I will introduce you to our Adult inventory from the legendary Planet Erotica. I believe all of earth's cosplay clubs and adult shops get our cheapest supply; however, none of earth's dealers have even seen what that planet truly has to offer. How about it, Shisemgumi-san?"

"It's Okita Sougo, captain of 1st division, and yes. We have a deal, Mutsu-san." The police officer smiled.

"You corrupt bastard! What happened to your cause?" Shinpachi yelled.

"Oi! Sougo! No making deals behind the Shinsemgumi's back!" Okita's walkie-talkie went off, and the boy picked it up.

"Ah, Hijikata-san…don't worry, I'm just using that as a cover to do a full inspection. If you interrupt my infiltration process, you'll have to commit seppuku." The younger boy replied to his superior.

"You're not inspecting anything! I flat out heard you that your exchanging sex toys for freedom! Oi Sougo! I'll have you commit seppuku for this!" Hijikata was cut-off when his subordinate turned off his walkie-talkie.

"Now where were we?" Sougo smiled pleasantly.

"I want to pick out the toys with you Sadist." Kagura spoke up.

"If we are to leave tomorrow you won't have time." Mutsu replied.

"Ah. Then make it three days from now." Kagura replied. "Sadist and I want to try out everything we choose before making a final decision."

"You just want free product demonstration! Experimentation only goes so far! Think of the audience and how they see you, Kagura-chan!" Megane yelled.

"The audience isn't actually going to see or read anything, so it's okay." The Yato pointed out. "Otherwise this fic would be rate 'M'."

"I'm saddened China, I would've at least thought that you would put our acts at NC-17 level. I guess I've been going too easy on you; don't worry, I'll properly prove my point tonight." Okita said, his arms now fully on her waist.

"You already have a point in your pants!" Shinpachi pointed out.

Suddenly, the group heard groaning and turned to their supposed 'leaders'. Gintoki was the first to get up; he rubbed his head and looked at the bewildered group. "So what I miss?"

"A conversation not meant for anyone's ears Gin-san. A conversation that should never be repeated." Shinpachi was going to be traumatized for a week at least.

Three Days Later

After various yelling matches, blackmail, and arguments; Sougo and Kagura finally got their way, and had enjoyed three full days of NC-17 rated fun. Kagura admitted she had underestimated her boyfriend and complained about why he hadn't been that rough and powerful before. When he pointed out how fragile she looked shivering in pleasure and how boring it would be is she simply came in five minutes; the Yato girl slammed his head against the floor and said that she could handle whatever the sadist had in the bag.

Gintoki and Shinpachi had a much worse three days than that. When they arrived at the Shinsemgumi's doorstep, Yamazaki simply let them in, knowing that Sougo and Kagura had taken over the Odd-Jobs HQ and wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. Gitnokinmuttered about replacing everything in his house, and the damage those two often inflicted during their acts. Hijikata was annoyed because Kondo just let the deal that Okita made go, considering that their superiors didn't have enough evidence to convict the suspected trading company anyways; though the Vice-Captain was certain the Kaientai at least knew Takasugi. But that didn't matter; with that perm-samurai around, he was too on-edge to have a coherent conversation. Shinpachi, on the other hand, had to deal with endless questions from Kondo about his sister.

In short, everyone lost but Sougo and Kagura; as it always happened when it came to them consummating their relationship. So when the morning rolled around, Gintoki got up early for once and was ready at the gate, awaiting Shinpachi. A few hours later, they were at the airport terminal, waiting for their third member. After an hour, both realized that Kagura had either overslept or she was having another round with the Shinsengumi officer. Seriously, just how often did they do it? But neither dared go back to the Odd-Jobs HQ, the last time they walked in on those two…neither got the bokkutos out of their butts without the barely-contained laughter of the doctors. Thanks to that, the hospital could call on them for free jobs whenever they wanted.

"Gin-chan! Shinpachi!" Both sighed in relief, and turned to see herself, her boyfriend, and giant dog with her.

In a calm voice, Shinpachi spoke. "Kagura-chan…we talked about this. Okita-san and Sadaharu can't come with us, we agreed that Okita-san would take care of Sadaharu while we were gone. That's what we agreed, right Gin-san?"

"That's right. AND AFTER BEING KICKED OUT OF MY HOME FOR YOU TWO TO TAINT IT, I'M NOT GIVING IN ON ANYTHING ELSE!" Gintoki most likely woke up the whole galaxy.

"Shut up, Danna; I'm just here to see China off." The boy dead-panned. "Make sure she's fed properly or be executed for domestic neglect."

"How does that work? We should be threatening you with that!" Shinpachi yelled.

"Yeah right, anyways, China." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a charger of some kind. 'Please not a vibrator charger', thought Gintoki and Shinpachi. "You forgot your phone charger, call me or text me to let me know you're still alive, otherwise I'll go looking for you. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah, protective bastard." Kagura muttered taking the charger. "You better take care of Sadaharu." She hugged her giant puppy. "He needs plenty of tender-loving care!"

"Then why is Okita-kun taking care of him? Okita-kun would give him hard-boiled pain." Gintoki pointed out.

"Yeah, I got it…needy bitch." The officer caught the punch thrown at him and pulled Kagura into a forceful kiss. After a few moments, he pulled away and gave her a tight hug, clutching her head and waist. "Come back safe China, that's an order."

"Be safe Sadist, that's an order." She hugged back and let go. After giving one final hug to Sadaharu, she joined her companions, who had already walked into the airlock to avoid the semi-mushy scene.

Okita watched the space-ship take off with the giant dog beside him, contemplating arranging something to follow them. But then thought against it; he wouldn't be able to set up preparations to kill Danna and the Mayo-bastard, damn! He had to get the tedious work done before he could take over Danna's home; permanently making it his and China's loveshack.

Four Days Later

Gintoki gave a visible twitch, he forgot how much of a pain it was to travel with Sakamoto; no forget pain; it was sheer torture! The idiot wouldn't stop calling him that name, Shinpachi forgot his Ipod, so he was Otsu deprived and was in a shitty mood, and there was no sugar on this ship! Just freakin' alcohol! Which was fine under normal circumstances, the only problem was, there was no sugar! So he had been on withdrawal for days! Kagura was fine! In fact, she had all the natto (of all things) she could eat! Gintoki swore, if this thing didn't land soon, he was gonna go nuts. Speaking of landing…

"WARNING! FUEL LOW! EMPLOYING EMERGENCY LANDING MECHANISM!" An automatic voice reached the passengers' ears. Kagura yawned and woke up, rubbing her eyes, Shinpachi looked up from his fetal position with a dead-look in his eyes, and Gintoki's tick couldn't have gotten any worse.

The automatic doors opened, revealing Mutsu. "My idiot leader had taken an alternative route through an asteroid field, so we used all the gasoline in maneuvering and speed. He also missed the pit stop to refuel, so we'll be doing an emergency crash-landing."

"Crash-landing?" Gintoki repeated. "Surely you meant landing, right? As in a normal landing right? There won't be any crashing, right?"

"Don't worry, we'll be crashing on that moon over there, so we'll be fine. Fasten your seat-belt until further notice." The door snapped shut.

"Heh heh…." Gintoki's twitch landed until the harsh crashing ten minutes later.

CRRRRRRRRRRRASSSSSSSSSH!

Gintoki, Kagura, and Shinpachi struggled to regain themselves as the ship finally stopped moving. "Damn that Sakamoto!" Gintoki growled and managed to get to cockpit. "Oi! Sakamoto! You alive?" He pulled his friend's head up, seeing his grinning and bloody face told the perm-guy he was fine and slammed his face back down against the steering wheel. He turned to his assistant, who had been covered by air-bag. "Oi, where are we?"

"No idea, as I said; this was an emergency landing. All I know is that we're on the moon of some random planet; go outside and check the surrounding. I'll revive my idiotic leader and assess the ship's damage." Mutsu ordered.

"Eh? Why do I have to do the hard stuff? Why can't-"

"I see, then I'll dump you with the useless weight that was holding down the ship." She interrupted.

"Come on Kagura! Shinpachi! Let's explore!" Without further trouble, he dragged his two disheveled comrades outside. They were indeed on a moon; a barren wasteland indeed. "Geez, nothing but white rocks and dirt; leave it to Sakamoto to crash somewhere useless." As he was about to go back inside, something caught his eye- a person! There was a living life-form! "Kagura! Shinpachi! There's a martian! He's bald, huge ears, weird body and everything! Just like the movies! Kagura, you approach it! You have diplomacy credits here!"

"I don't know that race of alien Gin-chan! Top lumping me in with ugly freaks." Kagura complained.

"You two are ridiculous, I'll go." Shinpachi sighed and stepped over to the man, probably about ten feet away from them. HE was tall, pale, bald with a white wrap around his head, muscular, and had some-type of circular mechanism around his body. Oh, and his earlobes…his earlobes were as big as an African tribe woman preparing herself for marriage. He seemed to be meditating judging by his pose. "Ano…sumimasen! Could you help us for a moment?" The man turned around to face him in shock.

"More humans? Who are you, how'd you get here?" He demanded.

"Ah! Me and my friends kind of crash-landed here and we were hoping you could help us. I'm Shimura Shinpachi, and those two are Sakata Gintoki and Yato Kagura. Nice to meet you." The boy bowed politely. "What's your name?"

"Ah. I am Enel, God of this world; feel free to pay your respects to me." Shinpachi groaned, great another arc started.

Review please! Yep, they landed on Skypia! As I said, I'm writing this in a completely different style than last time. Gintama is famous for breaking the fourth-wall with audiences a lot, so I intend to do that somewhat in this fic. As for other characters: Mutsu, Otae, Kondo, Hijikata, and Takasugi. Takasugi and Kagura's brother, Kamui, will actually be the main villans along with villans from a recent arc called the Mimiwaragumi; they're essentially the Shinsemgumi but all come from rich or high-class families. Kamui and Nobume (Mimiwaragumi's 2nd seat) will be paired up. Takasugi used to be Gintoki's ally during the war in his world, but their ideological differences tore them apart. Otae is Shinpachi's sister, and is known for having a sweet demeanor, but a demonic aura. Hijikata is the Vice-Captain of the Shinsemgumi, mayonnaise-lover, and Sougo hates his guts. Kondo is the Shinsemgumi leader and stalks Otae. And finally, Mutsu is Sakamoto's business assistant, and is in charge of making sure her boss doesn't kill the business.

So anyways, the first island's Skypia, and I have a fairly solid road-map of what islands they'll hit. Haven't exactly decided when the Strawhats will meet up with them, but it won't be for awhile. Along with the villains I mentioned above, the Navy and World Government will also have nasty tricks up their sleeve, so they'll be plenty of that. The only thing I haven't decided is if I'm going to have Whitebeard and Ace alive; the Strawhats would still have their training, but I still haven't decided on Ace or Whitebeard. What do you guys think? Review or PM me for any comments, questions, or concerns.