Hey guys! Sorry for my late update, forgot it was Friday yesterday! So yeah, Odd-Jobs finally meets Strawhats, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama or Case Closed
Two weeks felt like two milenia to the Odd-Jobs trio. For two weeks straight, they were struck listening to the mariachi band from hell, and since they were trapped on a ship, they could NOT get away from it! Everywhere they went, it was an amigo following them, followed by random song-bursting, and them singing and repeating EVERY DAMNED thing they said.
"Gin-san…I can't take this anymore…" Shinpachi had bags under his eyes…these bastards even sung in their sleep!
"Yeah…let me throw them off the ship already, uh-huh." Kagura groaned in equal misery.
"Don't be ridiculous; they have sugar and alcohol, and we're staying here for free; don't question good fortune." Gintoki suddenly vomited over the railing they were leaning on.
"YOU BASTARD! YOU'VE BEEN DRUNK THE ENTIRE TIME TO AVOID COGNITIVE COLLECTION WEREN'T YOU?!" They yelled.
"What the mind does and remembers while drunk is not, Shinpachi-kun…Kagura-chan…so remember to travel in high spirits and good taste." He vomited again. "Besides…don't we arrive today?"
"That's assuming we're lucky enough..." Shinpachi growled. "All I know is, just about any other torture would be better experience, than on this singing ship of hell."
"Don't jinx us Shinpachi-kun…you don't know what you're saying." And another vomit storm began.
Meanwhile- At an Alabasta Pierre
"So you're in pretty good with the princess here, huh?" Ace asked his little brother, as he helped him and his crew dock the ship. Vista and Haruta were also there, as well as a borrowed fleet from Whitebeard. As over the top as it sounded, they had no idea who these 'Odd-Jobs' pirates were, but until they were confirmed friends or enemies, it was best to not take chances.
"Yeah! The last time my crew and I were here, we helped save her kingdom, don't you remember?" Luffy reminded him and looked ahead and smiled. There was Vivi and her guards running towards with them, with several soldiers, all with huge smiles on their faces. "Ah! Hey guys! Vivi and the others have come to greet us! LET THE FEAST BEGIN!"
Meanwhile- At another Alabasta Pierre
Sougo sighed in discomfort at the sweltering heat, just what was with this planet? First it was a winter island, and now a desert island? Make up your mind, freaking islands! Aokiji and Umibozu stayed back at Drum Island to avoid the scorching hot weather; Sougo was very grateful they weren't there to get back at him for calling them wimps. God…Japan…never got this hot; this was the freakin' Sahara desert almost!
"Don't worry, they'll be here." Lucci spoke up, Sougo turned to him with an annoyed stare.
"For your sake they better…I've never felt this annoyed at something for the longest time." Sougo sighed. "I mean…I'm actually fantasizing the island burning to to hell, and me watching from a haven-like air-conditioned room."
"…Moving on. We made contact with Dawn Island, and have confirmed that the Odd-Jobs trio have come this way. Of course they might've committed suicide on the way, based on their ride, but we can be hopeful." Lucci explained.
"Who was their ride?" Okita raised an eyebrow.
Letting out a sigh, Lucci replied. "The Amigo Pirates; can't imagine a worse traveling situation."
It was silent for a moment before Sougo finally spoke. "Huh…do you know if they'll follow someone around specifically if hired to do so?"
"Why?" Lucci rose a brow.
"Well…if I hire these guys, do you think Hijikata-san will kill himself just to get away from them?" Okita asked.
"We don't even put prisoners at Impel Down through that kind of torture." The leopard man replied.
"So it's never tried before…excellent." Sougo's dark look of glee, sent shivers down the agent's spine.
"Yes…uh…I think I'll join the others at the restaurant over there. We need to stock up on supply." Lucci sighed, walking forward with the young man.
Elsewhere on Alabasta-Alubarna
"This is a shame…there's no cell service." Isaburo sighed, putting away his phone. "And where are Imai and Yato…they were supposed to meet us here?"
"Oh shut up! As if I want to hang around, a stuck-up alien!" Momonga huffed, scarfing down another beer. "Intelligence shows that the Odd-Jobs pirates are heading here for supplies! And we have to cut um' off at the knees here!"
"Whatever you say…I'm just bored. With no cell reception, I can't send any emails or texts to my buddies, nor can I play games here because my battery's running low. Honestly…for a universe with several technological geniuses…you aren't particularly advanced are you?" Sighed the white-coat man.
"Yeah, well...without the technology, it makes us harder workers!" Yelled Momonga.
"Keep it down, you're disturbing the other customers." Isaburo sighed, and then noticed something. "Huh? A text message from Imai." Opening it, he scanned it momentarily and then snapped his phone shut. "Well I'm leaving; due to a recent development, Imai and Yato have been recalled; I'm anxious to see Takasugi Shinsuke's catch."
"Hmph! Well I'm staying here!" Momonga declared. "Whatever it is, it can't be that great! I've got my men and everything!"
"Right…I'll leave you to die in your pathetic state." Isaburo left the restaurant.
Elsewhere on Alabasta- Nanohana
"Goodbye friends, it's been well!" Largo waved to the Odd-Job trio as they warily got off the ship. Despite being in the sun for two weeks, the three of them looked paler than corpses at the morgue. "Do you need us to escort you, anywhere?"
"NO! GOT TO HELL YOU DAMNED LOSERS!" The three of them yelled.
"Losers?" Largo whimpered.
"Yes! Who in the world would want to hear you idiots sing all day?!" Gintoki exclaimed. "It's enough to drive you to suicide!"
"Yeah! What's wrong with you people?! Do you have a grudge against humanity or something?!" Kagura demanded.
"None of us asked for a mariachi band, so none of us would like a stalker mariachi band either." Shinpachi finished it off.
"WELL I NEVER! See if we ever give you a ride again! Amigos…out!" Largo declared; and without that, the ship set off.
"Gin-san…was that hell?" Shinpachi asked.
"No Shinpachi-kun…that was the preview of hell." Gintoki sighed.
"I'm hot uh-huh! Why are we on this desert island?! What are we looking for?!" Kagura demanded.
"We're looking for a guy named Mihawk or whatever; he's a friend of that Shanks-guy." Gintoki sighed, walking forward. "He's supposedly staying at the royal palace or something; lucky bastard."
"Any idea what Mihawk-san looks like?" Shinpachi asked.
"No idea, but I say let's head to the palace, I'm starving and desperately need a parfait." Gintoki groaned.
"Gin-chan! I'm hungry now, let's go to a café instead." Kagura groaned.
"Do what you want, brat. I'm heading over for the royal treatment." The permhead waved the girl off. "Shinpachi-kun, you coming?"
"Ah. Let's go Gin-san." Shinpachi sighed.
"Hmph! Cheap bastards!" Kagura yelled. "Fine! I'll enjoy delicious food without, uh-huh!" Kagura charged into the first restaurant she came across.
Meanwhile- Momonga
Momonga sighed, gulping down another pitcher of beer; he had been in a horrible mood since the Gecko Island incident. Saved by a bunch of lousy start-up pirates, how humiliating could it get?! Oh well…at least their wanted posters were out. Sighing, he didn't even notice the person who sat down next to him.
"Yo bartender! Gimme Nippo, curry, eggs on rice, and the coldest water yah have!" The girl was obnoxious; despite the poor grammar, it had to have been a noble. But somehow…the voice sounded familiar.
"That's quite a tall order little girl, you sure you can pay for it? Much less eat all of it?" The cook asked suspiciously.
"Shut up and get my order! The customers always right, uh-huh!" Momonga froze at the catch-phrase. "Now gimme the biggest portions this place has got!"
"As long as you can pay, you got it. Now pay up front!" The owner demanded.
"WHAT?! That's outrageous! How do I know you won't deliver on the food you promised!" Kagura demanded.
"You're kidding! How do I know you won't run out on the check?! Look, ever since three years ago, I've tightened my policy around here! Almost all of my restaurant supply was purged by the D brothers!" The owner yelled.
"I don't care about okama brothers who have Double-D's, that's got nothing to do with me!" Kagura exclaimed.
"No you idiot! They're brother, the 'D', is just their initial!" He yelled.
"Well whatever, it's a weird name, uh-huh!" Damn! There it was again, Momonga thought.
"It doesn't matter! Ever since then, I've demanded my checks upfront for the order! Now either pay up, or beat it!" The owner exclaimed.
"How about you get my food before I bash your ugly face in?!" Kagura exclaimed.
"Why you-"
"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD, PLEASE STOP!" Momonga finally cracked.
"Huh?" Kagura blinked, and then her eyes widened. "Oh! It's you! That desperate Navy-guy with no life!"
"I do have a life, you degenerate!" Momonga exclaimed. "I've just been too ashamed to show my face to the Navy after what happened on Gecko!"
"Oh! You mean how we had to save entire island from your Navy corruption?" Kagura asked matter-of-factly.
"QUIET!" He grinned sheepishly at the restaurant owner. "Uh…I'll cover whatever she's eating, so go away and cook!" Luckily, the chef didn't argue and left. "You aren't supposed to spread that around, and it was necessary for the time being…in fact…we would've fired them if the recent development had happened earlier. Lastly, it was a World Government problem, not Navy."
"Same difference." Kagura shrugged. "So what's this development, anyways?"
"None of your business! What are you idiots doing here in Alabasta anyways?!" Momonga demanded.
"We're looking for some guy named Mihawk, we were asked to do so for a top-secret mission, uh-huh." Kagura answered.
"Huh…speaking of top-secret." Momonga grinned and got out handcuffs. "Now that you've been officially labeled a pirate, I get to take you in."
Meanwhile- Shinpachi
Shinpachi sighed as he walked through the different vendors, trying not to die from the smell of perfume; he had lost Gintoki when a crowd of dancers walked past them. He could only hope that Gintoki was at the palace. He was so out of it, he didn't notice where he was going and bumped into a guy with fairly large shoulders, and dressed in a business suit. "Ah. Sorry."
"No, it's my fault." The man had long hair, and had a pigeon on his shoulder. "Sorry, I was distracted, my friends and I are looking for an acquaintance of ours, but he seemed to have disappointed." He held out his hand. "I'm Rob Lucci."
"Shimura Shinpachi, nice to meet you." The boy bowed politely, and finally noticed the other members in suits looking for their 'acquaintance'. "I'm sorry as well, I'm not used to these temperatures and I didn't see where I was going. I'm supposed to meet someone at the palace, but my idiot boss got lost, and now I don't know where the hell I am."
"What a coincidence, we're heading to the palace as well." A beautiful blonde woman in a black miniskirt approached.
"Ah, really? Would you mind if I tagged along? I'm sure Gin-san will go there eventually." Shinpachi asked hopefully.
"Sure. We could use the company." A fat guy with a zipper walked up, along with a long nose, long pony tail, and pink hair.
Back at Restaurant
Kagura smirked in amusement as she watched her boyfriend use Momonga as a seat for his butt. "Another round, Cook-san!"
"HAI!" The cook was scared stiff of the sadistic bishounen.
"So China…" He pulled Kagura into his lap, and trailed a hand up her body. "Since we've been away from each other for so long…what do you say we take the time to re-explore each other?"
"Stupid sadist, that's the lamest pick-up line you've ever used." Kagura deadpanned.
"Can you blame me? I haven't had sex with you in a week. That means that not only are we good in a relationship, but it's been officially proven that you're vital to my brain activity." Sougo explained.
"So basically…you think with your dick, Sadist?" Kagura twitched.
"And you think with your fists, your point?" Sougo smirked down at her.
"My point is you've become too corny, uh-huh! So therefore we have to reinstate our relationship!" Kagura declared.
"I like where this is going China…" He slipped his fingers into her dress.
"COULD YOU TWO DO THAT ELSEWHERE?!" Momonga cried in agony at the combined weight on his back.
"Oh…you're still there…the man who hit on my girlfriend." Sougo smirked sadistically, and took some noodles with chile sauce on it. It was so hot, that Momonga's eyes were burning. "Tell you what…we'll leave if you let me spoon feed you this entire chile dish without water."
"PLEASE! THIS PLACE HAS THE SPICIEST CHILE IN THE WORLD! WE'RE ON A DESERT ISLAND FOR CRYING OUT-LOUD! HAVE A HEART!" Momonga cried.
"I can't forgive someone who hit on my China." Sougo smirked, bringing it near his eye.
"I wasn't hitting on her, I was trying to arrest her! She's a wanted-GAH! MY EYES!" Sougo shoved the chile into his face before he continued.
"Ne Sadist, how did you find me anyways?" Kagura asked.
"I was hungry and came into the restaurant, not to mention I heard your obnoxious voice ordering the chef around, couldn't be anyone else." The boy shrugged.
"Obnoxious?!" Kagura glared, but blinked in realization. "Hey Sadist, what are you doing in this universe anyways? Mayora and Gorilla here, too?"
"Save that kind of talk for the bedroom, love." Sougo smirked.
The Palace
Gintoki sweated nervously at the people in the room; it was beautiful banquet hall, there was joy and festivity in the air, and celebration was afoot. The only problem was…he wasn't supposed to be there, oh how he wasn't supposed to be here. Gintoki continued to sweat as his beard-thing and wig started to itch, with the sweltering weather the clothes weren't helping either; he was wearing a weird white trench coat with a purple lining, and white Spanish pants. At least he was able to keep his boots.
"So Vivi's dad!" Gintoki tensed when the boy in a Strawhat turned to address him. The boy was of average height and looked to be about twenty, had a scar of an x on his chest, wore jeans, read shirt, and had a scar below his left eye.
"Err…yes…little boy?" Gintoki answered nervously. He had no idea who these people were, nor did he even know who 'Vivi' was.
"Father! What's wrong with you?! Address Luffy-san properly!" A beautiful blue-haired girl with a smoking-body replied; Gintoki resisted the urge to drool.
"Er…yes! I apologize Luffy-san, I haven't been feeling well." Gintoki said lamely.
"That's true…you seem paler than usual, Your Majesty." A giant man with curly-judge hair, named Ingrham from what he heard earlier, replied.
"Ah! I've contracted a disease recently, called albinomeningitisism; very contagious…I wouldn't get too close. HACK! HACK!" Gintoki chucked a few fake coughs.
"Oh, I can take a look at you, your majesty." A tiny, chibi humanoid reindeer with a backpack on top of his head stood up. "Shall we go back to your room?"
"NO!" Gintoki's nervousness rose as he thought of the poor old man who was currently stuffed in a storage closet. If they walked by said-storage closet, then he'd fallout and he was screwed. Noticing everyone was staring at him, he cleared his throat. "I mean…all of you have come such a far way, and I wouldn't want to trouble you with my problems. Don't worry, this disease is only transferable for people of documented recessives, so don't worry, unless it's been confirmed on the document, you can't catch it!"
"I've never heard of a disease like that." The reindeer, called Tony Tony Chopper, replied.
"That's because it's so rare, that it's legendary." Gintoki explained. "Now then, let's continue with this feast! I'm starving!"
"Me too, I'm curious to see if any recipes have changed." A blonde guy called Sanji spoke.
"Yes actually!" A large woman beside Ingrham spoke. "I call it the Terracota-special! You see, it combines giant desert crab, and-"
"Talk about it later, I'm hungry!" A huge cyborg-man spoke, and chowed down. "I'm Franky by the way, your majesty, the new Shipwright! Nice to meet yah!"
"Eh…you too." Gintoki then noticed a guy dressed in a damn good skeleton costume sipping some wine politely. "Hey Skeleton-san…that's a good costume, is it part of your gimic?"
"Yohohoho! I'm Dead-Bones Brook, I'm afraid this isn't a costume! I'm as good as dead!" Brook cheerfully.
"Ah I see, that makes sense-" Gintoki paled considerably. "Wait…you're a real skeleton…as in…undead?"
"Well not exactly…I've got the Yomi Yomi no Mi, so I died once and came back to life!" Brook explained.
"Ah, I see…Devil Fruits also can bring the dead back to life, how helpful. So what do you do?" Gintoki asked.
"I'm the Musician!" The skeleton answered cheerfully. "Are you all right, your highness?"
"I'm fine, just not used to a skeleton in the room." He replied.
"FATHER!" Vivi implored. "What is wrong with you today?! Pell, did he get up on the wrong side of the bed?"
"Don't worry about it my lovely Vivi, the shitty Marimo wakes up on the wrong side of the bed anyways." Sanji sneered at a green-haired swordsman.
"Shut it, Ero-cook, I just hate mornings." Grumbled the man.
"Zoro, you hate every time of the day." A well-built man with a long-nose spoke.
"Ussop, you're no better when you take long naps." A beautiful orange-haired woman spoke. God, what was with these women in this universe?! They were all extremely hot or hideous!
"Come on Nami, you and Robin can sleep normal hours." The man called, Ussop complained.
"Eh. I generally try to get at least eight hours of healthy rest." The last member, a dark-haired beauty spoke.
"AHAHA! That's what I call smart-living!" A shirtless guy in an orange hat spoke. "So Little Brother, the plan is go to East Blue right?" Gintoki's ears perked at that. He was just there.
"Yeah! That's actually why we came here Vivi." Luffy turned to the princess. "Yah see, the Whitebeard crew and us are heading to East Blue to check on our home islands, because we got news of some pirate crew targeting them. Also…the World Government…"
"The World Government has imposed Marital Law on our home islands, so obvious reaffirmation need to be taken." Nico Robin replied. "Although…intelligence has said that the islands are fine, we still need to confirm whether or not these 'Odd-Jobs Pirates' are a threat or not."
"PPPFFT!" Gintoki spat out the Kahlua he had been drinking. "What?!"
"Father?" Vivi blinked.
"Your Majesty?" The one called Pell rose a brow at the 'king'. "Are you sure, you're okay?"
"As one of your head guards, your majesty, I insist you rest." A dark-skinned man spoke up.
"Chaka's right, Father. I can send you the report of inventory, so don't worry about it." Vivi reassured.
"Uh, no! I'm fine…I'm just curious as to why such powerful people like you are interested in these Odd-Jobs people…which by the way, do you know their names or descriptions?" He asked hastily at the end.
Raising a brow, Nami answered. "No, we've never seen them, all we have to go on is their wanted posters."
"Wanted Posters? They have Wanted Posters?" Gintoki sweated profusely. "Since when? How much?"
"With all due respect Your Majesty, why are you interested in that information?" Nico Robin rose a brow.
"Yes father…you've been acting strange all afternoon." Vivi frowned in suspicion. "Are you really my father?"
Gulping, Gintoki decided he had no choice, but to: "WHY I NEVER! AS KING OF THIS COUNTRY I AM MERELY TAKING PRECAUTIONS TO POSSIBLE TERRORISTS! You see…as a king, I have to possess a kingly aura of authority! DO I OR DO I NOT HAVE AN AUTHORITATIVE KINGLY AURA!"
"WHAT ARE YOU BABBLING ABOUT YOU CHOWDER HEAD?!" The room froze and turned to something caused their eyes to bug-out. There was Carue, with a tied-up king in his underwear on his back, who looked as pissed off as hell. "IMPOSTER OR NOT, YOU INSULT THE VERY MEANING TO THE TITLE: KING! WHAT WAS All THAT SHIT ABOUT A KINGLY AURA ANYWAYS?!"
"Oh well…I thought I was doing justice, after all my albinism prevents me from being anyone important in society." Gintoki said lamely.
"WHAT THE HELL?! NOW YOU'RE JUST FLAT-OUT ABANDONING THE KINGLY-AURA ARGUMENT! YOU JUST WANTED TO USE THAT IN AN ARGUMENT SOMETIME IN YOUR LIFE, DIDN'T YOU?!" The real king accused.
"Oh well…I guess…I'll just-"
Suddenly, another appearance was made. A maid appeared with Shinpachi and a group of people in business suits. "Excuse me, Your Majesty, the ex-Cipher Pole agents are here, and-" The whole room froze in a tense staring contest.
"SHINPACHI!" Ditching the disguise, Gintoki ran forward and grabbed the stunned boy's shoulders. "Quick! Tell them I'm with you! Please! I'll be executed for impersonating a king! Quick! Say you know me!"
"Please get off of me; I don't know you." Shinpachi said bluntly.
"DAMN YOU MEGANE! YOU TRAITOR!" Gintoki yelled.
"Uh…would someone just mind telling us what's going on?" Vista spoke up.
"I CAN TELL YOU!" The real king spoke up. "I found this idiot following some of the entertainment girls in, and I tried to throw him out! The next thing I know, I stripped and stuffed in a storage closet! Honestly, if Carue hadn't come by, I don't know if I would've survived."
"There was a door crack for air!" Gintoki refuted.
"There's no door-crack you damn permhead! I was suffocating with those damned ropes constructing my breathing!" The king yelled at him.
"Permhead…" Everyone (minus Shinpachi and Gintoki) muttered in realization.
"Gin-san…" Shinpachi whispered to him. "What's going on?"
"Oh Shinpachi-kun, there's nothing exciting I just learned." SNAP! All weapons and powers were pointed at them; Cipher Pole just stood against the wall, out of the way. "We're famous and they want our autographs in blood. RUN!" Grabbing the boy, he tore through the hallway!
"LET'S GET THEM!" Luffy commanded; so there it went. Two pirate crews, two royalty people, and all of Alabasta's royal guard from that banquet hall were after the two outsiders.
10min Later
After ten minutes of running, Gintoki and Shinpachi ran out to a balcony and hid behind the wall. "I think we lost them."
"That's good, Gin-san what did you do to make two pirate crews and a royal guard pissed off enough to kill you?" Shinpachi looked at him annoyed.
"Why do you assume it's my fault, damn Megane?! Do you have any idea how close to dying I was back there?!" Gintoki yelled.
"They should, you were posing as their king! Why would you throw the king in the closet?!" Shinpachi demanded.
"There was a misunderstanding, and I had no choice all right!" Gintoki insisted and then thought of something. "Where's Kagura-chan?"
"Wherever she is, she's not being chased by pirates and soldiers." Shinpachi groaned. "Congratulations, you've made two sides of opposing ideals and principles join together in an effort to eliminate you. You officially garnered the world's largest amount of hatred in record-time."
"Would you shut up?! It was your fault too! Showing up with some VIP group like that!" Gintpki exclaimed.
"They were in an ex-government agency, and they happened to be looking for Mihawk-san as well." Shinpach argued.
"Oh yeah, this Mihawk guy…the bastard better not turn into a hawk." Gintoki sighed.
"Well I don't turn into a hawk, my eyesight I would like to believe is superior to that of one." Both turned to a mysterious man sipping wine on a table set in the balcony. Both men gawked at the Spanish attire and the giant sword on Mihawk's back. "If you're done gawking at my sword, are you going to tell me what you want?"
"So you're really…" Shinpachi trailed off.
"Eh. I am Dracule Mihawk, now who are you and what do you want?" The man's yellow eyes pierced straight through the younger boy, but met with the force of the fish-eyed man.
Review please! I promise that Odd-Jobs and Strawhats will interact more next chapter! Review or PM me if any questions!