Pamela died a hunter's death, and Bobby and the boys prepared a hunter's funeral.

Sam was going through all the typical motions of doing what needed to be done, but he was still pondering what Pamela had said to him. Just before he wrapped her up, he looked at her face once more, her eyelids shut over the wooden balls in the empty sockets.

I can't just stop now. I'm getting stronger. I can do this, I can kill demons and save people. I saved Dean.

Sam looked over at his brother. Dean had been uncharacteristically quiet since he'd woken up and Pamela had died. Sam wondered what had happened to Dean while he was alone with Tessa. He had asked him, but Dean said nothing important. Sam knew that Dean was lying, but he was too wrapped up in his stuff to really deal with it, plus, Jen could handle Dean. Sam glanced around for her.

Jen was standing just behind Dean. She had been hovering over both boys the whole time. Sam knew she was. She hadn't remained visible this long in a while. She even drove with them in the car to get here. He didn't know if she was doing that for him or for Dean. He expected both.

Sam kept avoiding Jen's gaze. He was pretty sure that she knew what Pamela said to him, he had a feeling Pamela would have broadcast it to Jen even though Sam wasn't telling her much of anything. Surface emotions, and even those he sometimes hid. He knew it wasn't right, but he couldn't look at Jen if she knew everything he was doing.

They were done.

"I'll get Bobby." Dean said as he left the garage and disappeared into the house. Jen stayed with Sam. She looked up at him. She had good reason to be worried about him. Other than the obvious being on edge lately while hiding his demon blood escapades, something about Pamela's death hit him harder than he expected. He barely remembered how it started or what he said in the flurry of anger that ended with a few pillows being thrown across the room and him storming out to the car. By the time Jen caught up with him, he was calm, and fortunately she didn't ask him why he did that, because he still wasn't sure. He had just exhausted himself exorcising the demon, and Pamela's death and Dean's return meant that Cole had also gone, reminding Sam that he had lied to the boy. He also felt partially responsible for Pamela's death. He agreed to his brother's crazy plan and brought her in.

But we saved the seal. Damn it! Why are these decisions so damn hard? Lose lives now to save more later, just keep remembering that.

Sam glanced up and saw that Jen was still standing there watching him. He tried to give her a half smile. Her face remained expressionless.

"All right, let's get this thing done." Bobby's voice boomed into the garage as he and Dean came to the door. Sam started moving quickly and Jen stepped back again. The three of them moved the body outside to the pyre.

Bobby lit the matches and set the body aflame, then he stepped back next to Sam. Jen stood on the other side of Sam with Dean next to her. Dean stared firmly at Pamela's body. His mind was racing. He felt incredibly guilty for starting this whole thing with Pamela, Castiel burning out her eyes that first time. He felt even worse for asking her to help them out this time.

He was also wrestling with Tessa's words to him. He had already been dealing with the fact that he has never felt worthy of being rescued from Hell. Now to have Tessa suggest to him that the reason for it isn't altogether good, he had no idea where to go with this, what to think.

Why is Pamela dead? She was a good person and now she's gone because of me,, and I tortured hundreds of souls in Hell, and I'm still here, and I don't even know what for. To be some Angel's tool. It's not fair. It's just not fair.

"This is bullshit." Dean said, pursing his lips. His chin trembled and tears filled his eyes. He couldn't do this. Not here. Not in front of Sammy. He already saw Dean as weak, this would just be icing on the cake. "Fuck it." Dean turned and started walking out into the woods.

Bobby and Sam both looked at him, and then at each other, and then at Jen. Jen was still watching Dean walk away. Slowly she turned back to Sam and Bobby and nodded, then turned and slowly followed Dean.

Dean started walking faster, he had to be out of sight, but where could he go? At about a hundred feet away he stopped. It was dark, he didn't want to go much further into the woods. He looked back toward the pyre. Bobby and Sam were watching Pamela's body burn, but where was Jen?

"Right here, Dean." He voice was quiet and right beside him. He turned to see Jen standing next to him. Dean's chin was trembling as he looked to her.

"Why me?" He said, tears filling his eyes. "Why do I watch everyone die but I get brought back and protected by Angels? Someone should have been protecting Pamela." Dean looked to Jen, but he knew she wouldn't answer him. She returned his look, and Dean would have sworn he could see sadness in her eyes behind her calm, expressionless face. But Jen doesn't give answers, she always asks the boys to find those answers on their own. Right now, though, both of them knew that Dean didn't really want answers. He was almost as scared of the answers as he was to ask the questions. That's why he asked Jen.

Jen did the only thing she could for Dean. She put her arms around him and held him as he started sobbing.

For a while, it seemed that Dean would be inconsolable. Jen knew that she couldn't answer his questions, and knew that he didn't really want the answers either. Some of them she knew. She knew why he was brought back, and she knew that he wasn't going to be happy when he finally found out.

She also knew that in some ways, Pamela was simply done with this world. Sure, she would have gone on living if that had been the way things played out, but lately, all she felt around her was death and destruction and couldn't even see the beautiful parts of life to help her shut that out. Jen had felt that from her when she agreed to help the boys. Jen knew that Pam was ready for the danger in this mission, and almost invited it. In her own way, Pamela had finally escaped the darkness.

She couldn't tell that to Dean either. First, and foremost, she wouldn't break the confidentiality of private thoughts, even those directed to her. But, she knew that Dean had continued to feel guilty for the loss of Pamela's eyes, and knowing how that contributed to her death would kill him even more.

For now, she held Dean's shaking body and stroked his hair. After a few minutes, he began to calm down some. Jen whispered in his ear. "I told you once that I thought you had a purpose. I think you'll still find it."

Dean picked up his head, wiped his face and looked at Jen. He didn't speak, but his eyes were desperate for some small shred of hope, his thoughts questioning Jen's certainty.

"I really do." Jen responded to Dean's inner dialogue. Her face remained expressionless, but she looked into Dean's eyes with a sincerity that he couldn't ignore. Dean nodded slightly and took a deep breath.

"I have a question," Dean said, fully composed now. "About Pamela."

"Yes?"

"What did you tell her, after she spoke to Sam. You went over to her, I know you told her something that made her smile, right at the end. What was it?"

Jen smiled and took Dean's hand. "I showed her a sunrise. It was the thing she missed the most about not being able to see." Jen watched Dean's eyes mist over again. She squeezed his hand, and he squeezed hers in return.

"Thanks for doing that for her." Dean whispered. Jen could feel the deep guilt that Dean still felt, but she couldn't do anything about it except send what positive energies she could through his hand.

They stood in silence for a minute. Then Jen looked over at Dean. "You ready to go back?"

Dean took a deep breath and sighed. "Yeah. Yeah, we can go back."

They walked back to the pyre just as the flames were dying down. Sam and Bobby looked at Dean and Jen, but no one said a word.