Dean turned away from the panic room as Sam shouted at him through the door. He stopped short as Jen appeared immediately in front of him, and then, just as suddenly, he grabbed her tightly.
"Can you do anything?" Dean asked carefully.
Jen was silent for a long moment. "No. I can't change him physically, and if he's hallucinating, I can't be inside his head, even if he would let me."
"Fuck."
"I can watch him. I can tell you how near or far he is from dying." Dean flinched noticeably at her words, but she quickly continued. "Right now, he's very much alive. This is not going to be fun for him, but it's not going to kill him. Not right now, anyway."
Sam began shouting something incoherent, and Dean tensed, squeezing Jen more tightly. She whispered to him.
"Let's go upstairs."
Dean didn't want to leave his brother here, but he couldn't stay and listen. He knew that he couldn't. He let go and let Jen lead him away.
Bobby finally agreed to talk to Rufus, and Dean took the opportunity to down his whiskey and slip out into the other room. He could still hear Sam below, intermittently shouting and talking to himself. Dean hated sitting upstairs doing nothing, but he had no idea what else he could do.
Tears filled his eyes as he leaned his head into his hands. He felt Jen's touch on his shoulder, and her presence beside him.
"I can't do this, Jen. I have to do it, but I just can't keep listening to him." Tears slipped out of Dean's eyes, and he brushed them away, though more followed. He sat up and leaned back against Jen's shoulder. He shut his eyes as a sob shook his body. Jen wrapped her arms around him, and he held her arm tightly as he sobbed quietly.
"How is he doing? I need to know." Dean whispered, although he was terrified of the answer.
Jen hesitated. "It's hard. The hallucinations are pushing his mental state right to the edge. I still believe he can work through this, though. I really do."
"We don't even know what this is, or how long it will last, or if it will even work."
"No. We don't."
Dean sighed and sat up, pushing Jen off him gently.
"I gotta see if Cas can help us." He said, turning to Jen. "I know you don't trust him, but he might have the only answer to saving Sammy's life."
Jen nodded in understanding. "It's okay, Dean. Do what you have to do."
Dean was surprised that Jen gave in so easily to that, and then the idea frightened him, because he realized that Jen must be worried about Sam as well to let Dean talk to the Angels. Before he could think about what this all meant, Jen spoke again.
"I'm sorry, Dean, but I have to run. I'll return. I promise. And don't forget, I can always hear you."
"Thanks." Dean said as he wrapped his arms around her for one last hug.
Sam walked out the door, leaving Dean bloodied and on the floor. He moved his lips and just barely formed the word, "Jen," although in his mind he shouted it.
She was there a moment later. "Oh, Dean!" She bent down beside Dean, scanning his injuries, and she grasped his hand, helping pull him up to sit. Somehow, even with the cuts and bruises and probable black eye, the worst pain was the crushing feeling of his Sammy walking out on him. Once he was sitting again, he pulled his knees up to his chest tightly as tears filled his eyes and spilled over his cheeks. Jen sat next to Dean and wrapped her arms around him.
"How could he do that? How could he actually walk out?" Dean sobbed.
Jen was silent. Dean wasn't really looking for an answer, he knew who to blame.
"Fucking Ruby. I'm going to fucking kill her. First thing I'm going to do is fucking slice her to fucking pieces." Dean mumbled , blinking and brushing the tears out of his way.
"Dean …" Jen began, but Dean pushed her arms off him.
"I know what you are going to say: revenge doesn't help … or things work out in the end. I don't want to hear it." Dean pushed himself up to standing and turned to Jen, instantly beside him. "I'm going back to Bobby's; we're going to work out a plan to get to Lillith before Sam does."
Jen nodded. "Just, be careful, and don't forget: he's still your brother."
Dean's throat tightened, and he took a deep breath before speaking. "I know." Him and Jen locked eyes for a moment, and then Dean squeezed her tightly in a hug. Almost as soon as he released her, she was gone again.
Dean left the room. He had some demons to track down and destroy. Hopefully, before Sam did something both of them would regret.
Author's Note: Well, that's essentially the end of Season 4, because Jen can't get much involved in the whole Lilith debacle. Thanks for reading! Keep an eye out for the next installment of Season 5: The Year We Took Back What Was Ours, I think I'll try and post it next week sometime. Review if you enjoy and it will remind me to post more!