NOTES & REFERENCES: Muhaha! What can I say. I hope I scared you just a little bit. Not that much to say, this time though. Of course, again, Peppermintcookz, shout out to you!
"And god knows I'm not dying but I breathe now
And god knows It's the only way to heal now
With all the blood I lost with you
It drowns the love I thought I knew
and this was the ecstasy of love forgotten
And I'm thrown in the gunfire of empty bullets
And my blood is all I see as you steal my soul from me."
Ellie Goulding - My Blood
The title is a reference to the lyric "High off her love, drunk from her hate" from Eminem's part in I Love The Way You Lie.
Part 5: "High off his love, drunk from his hate"
Vaas' strong arm rushed up and his hand clasped the sharp blade. Red liquid dripped down his arm. Paralyzed, I let go of the knife. "You stupid thing, you really thought I had not noticed you taking a fucking knife from my fucking kitchen?" Before I could react, he had turned around and had pushed me off the bed, pressing the bloody knife to my throat so hardly, it slightly cut my skin.
"She tries to kill me. Ha! Why is it that you don't like about me, Emilia? It's my generosity with the hostages, huh? You don't like how I treat them? Oh, cuero, you should have seen what I did to your little friends!" He grinned at me. "What's wrong, Emilia, you're not so enthusiastic now! Come on, show me! Fuck, let's play!" He got up; throwing the knife in a random direction through the room, then yelled at me. "What now, cuero? Did you think you could outplay me like that? Can't decide, huh? If you want it that way, then kill me! Let's do some fucking Romeo and Juliet shit, I'm always up for it!" He stepped up to the door and exited the house, kicking over the kitchen table on his way.
Still sitting on the floor, I pushed my head against the wall and clasped my throat. I could feel a small cut, nothing to worry about, and lots of Vaas' blood. Why had I done that? I couldn't have killed him. I needed him, which now was clearer than ever to me. I would have stopped the knife in time. Last night had been too much for me; the hostages, my memories, my allegations against myself. He was monstrous, sure, but I had known what I was in for.
After about an hour of me just sitting there crying and desperately trying to think of a way to explain this to Vaas had passed, I stood up and went after him. I found him at the beach, sitting in the sand, just illuminated by the moon and the cigarette in his hand. I approached him very slowly. Vaas must have heard my footsteps in the sand, but he did not turn around. "Vaas, I- I don't know what to say." He put the cigarette to his mouth and inhaled before answering. "How about don't talk at all then."
"I would not have been able to do it. I-" Vaas turned around to me, one finger placed to his lips. Then, he patted the sand next to him, as to make me sit with him. After I silently did so, he threw his cigarette into the clear, blue ocean, placed his head in my hair, on the back of my neck and pulled me closer. "Any other person, you hear me, any other would be dead right now. I would have killed them on sight, without hesitation. Comprende, seniorita?" I nodded slowly. "I know." – "You – I know you better than you think, cuero. Stop feeling responsible for my shit. That is none of your fucking business. It is what happens on my island. You'll learn. Your friends are dead. There's just you left, you and me on this island."
I took his hand, which he had cleaned in the ocean, and kissed the injured palm of it. "I'm so sorry." I whispered. "Regret is a bitch, azúcar." He came closer and our lips met. In an instant, he was on top of me, pinning my hands above my head. "And I certainly like a little challenge" Now, his smirk was back. He caressed the cut on my throat, still stained from his blood. After his rage, he suddenly was very calm, and in control again. I had thought that I had lost all his trust with my actions, but somehow Vaas understood my intentions, he knew what I felt. He knew I had nothing but him left. As I lay there, in the sand, and felt his skin on mine, his hot breath and his voice whispering my name, my world cleared up. All I felt was my fascination and lust for this man that had a Mr. Hyde inside of him.
The next day, when I stepped out of the house, I saw Vaas sitting in the sun with some of his men, discussing something. They were just finished when I joined them, and Vaas had a concerned look on his face. "What's wrong?" – "I realized something this morning. I have to teach you how to kill. Last night was a terrible attempt" He chuckled. "I want a serious enemy here."
"I know how to defend myself." I said, not being sure what he intended to do. "Sure. That's why Stefano here had to a few days off work after we wheeled you in, cuero…" He pointed at a man sitting with the group. It was the one I had beaten to the ground back at our camp, just before I was taken hostage. "But he's still living, no?" The pirates around us started laughing. Stefano eyed me and said "Wasn't bad, chica."
Vaas took me away from the men, into the jungle. He carried a sniper rifle and an assault rifle, in his hand he had a bottle of something of which I could not tell what it was. We didn't walk for long, when he stopped and finished the bottle. He went to place it on a tree trunk. "Bam. Your enemy, seniorita. I don't like this shit, anyway." The pirate took out his pistol and threw it over to me. I just caught it and took a deep breath. Vaas walked up to me and positioned himself behind me, his hands on mine, placing the gun into my hand and helping me aim. "Never shot a gun before, huh? A bottle is obviously muy different to a man" He was so close to me that his body touched mine and I felt his breath on my neck. I tried to steady my breath and focus on the shooting while he spoke into my ear quietly, but it was extremely hard. "Look at this. Unlock, aim…" I shot the pistol and the bottle in front of us burst into a million of little glass pieces. Vaas jumped and gave an outcry of admission. "That is my chica, todo el mundo! You're a fucking beast!" How did I just hit the target? I had no idea how my finger even pulled the trigger. I stood there, with the pistol in my hands and starred at the broken bottle. "Dang, girl, you turn me on." Vaas said, shook his head and replaced the pieces of glass that were still left on the log with an intact one that was a little smaller. "Show me that again, baby." This time he stayed where he was; right next to the log. He was enjoying himself like crazy. I took another deep breath, readied the weapon and the bullet hit the small bottle just seconds after I pulled the trigger for a second time.
This day, I did not only learn how to fire weapons, he also showed me where to hit a person to kill him quicker, how you kill someone quietly and how to throw a knife effectively. I did quite well, but shooting still was the thing I did best. We stayed out in the forest for hours and his mood did not change. When the sun went down, I leaned against a tree and looked around me. I was ready to kill. What is a good or bad feeling? I had no idea what to think of myself now. "So, why did you really want me to learn this?" I asked. "You're badass now. You don't like it? Now, if some fucker tries to take you, you know how to take him out for good." Vaas came over to me.
"Yeah. But who's going to try?" – "Oh, I had a little argument yesterday. No problem, we're powerful, but you know. Just in case, cuero. Might have a war on our hands. Don't worry, cuero."
We went back to the village and crashed in Camila's kitchen. When we arrived, Vaas kissed her on the forehead. I did not dare to ask, but they had to be close; I had never seen him do something like that to someone, and Camila had already told me she had known him for very long.
The small woman had cooked up a delicious soup. We sat down in silence and ate, when suddenly, Vaas put his spoon down and looked up. He listened for a few seconds, and none of us dared to speak. "Fuck!" he rushed up from his chair, when a rocket hit the house next to us. "Camila, el escondite! Hide!" All three of us rushed out the door, Vaas pulled out his AK and ran directly into the direction the rocket had come from, and Camila dragged me in the opposite direction, down the dirt road, to the beach. We only had run a couple of meters, when one of the intruders spotted us and fired at us. He wasn't a very good shot, as most of his bullets hit the ground right to our feet. One of them streaked my arm and I squealed in pain. "How much further?" I yelled at Camila. "Not long, we'll be right –" A bullet hit Camila in the underbelly. She screamed, fell and blood started to cover the dirt. "Camila!"
As quickly as I could, I helped her grab my shoulders and sustained her to crawl behind a near pile of boxes. The firing stopped. "No, no, no, shit!" I exclaimed as I ripped a piece of fabric from her long dress and pressed it onto her wound. "Camila! Camila, stay with me, look at me! Look at me!"
"Dulce… You're a brave one." she whispered under her breath. "He likes you, you know. I see it in his eyes." – "Camila, don't speak. Breathe." Her eyes began to fade as she continued speaking. "You can make this island a better place, you are brave, Emilia. He trusts you." Desperately I tried to think of what to do. Vaas had taught me to kill people, not to save them; I knew basic first-aid, but that would not have helped the elderly woman. So I just sat on my knees beside her and pressed the fabric onto her underbelly.
Camila passed quickly. She was too old and weak to survive an injury like this. I stayed by her side until I realized I could not stay behind the boxes. It was a horrible hiding spot and the shooter knew where I was hiding. So I left Camila, holding my bleeding arm, having lost most of my hope.
I ran around the house and took a glimpse into the village. Almost every single house was on fire, women were taken hostage and pirates and strangers fought with guns, knives and fists. It reminded me of the invasion of our camp back when we were just here on holiday, just worse. The strangers had to be the so-called Rakyat, the other group of the island, the pirates' enemies. Screaming filled the air, and the sound of an alarm was being heard. The streets were full of dead bodies; pirates, Rakyat, men and women. I hid in the bushes, and made my way back into the village. I knew Vaas wanted me to hide, but I could just not let this happen around me. It was so loud everywhere, but I still found it weird that I could not hear Vaas' voice.
When I reached the center of the place, it suddenly got a little quieter. I could hear a clear, American voice yelling triumphantly. "Oh-oh, look who we caught a little unprepared!" Something was kicked and fell to the floor. The American started laughing. A Hispanic voice responded: "One more step, hermano, and I'll shoot you motherfucker, I'll blow your brains out!" I peeked around the corner. I saw a bunch of pirates on one side, aiming their weapons at some, also Hispanic, guys with readied weapons. In midst of them a white guy was aiming his pistol at… Vaas. He lay on the floor, unconscious. His body was beat up and bloody. What had they done to him?
"What happens when I do this?" The American unlocked his gun. This is when I got out of my hiding spot and started running towards them. When I reached the shootout, I positioned myself right in front of Vaas' injured body. It was a reflex. The bullet hit my shoulder. It was a horrible pain and I started screaming, lost my ability to sit straight. My hand clasped to my shoulder, I sank to the ground. The American voice now had a surprised tone to it. "…Emilia?!"
I looked up, directly into his face. Then I realized. It was Robert, a friend of Jon's. He had been staying with the group. I did not know him very well, but I recognized his face beneath the tan and all his tattoos. Those were new. "Robert" I muttered, still in pain. I could barely speak.
"How are you still alive?! But most importantly, why are you taking a bullet for this psycho?!" I chuckled lightly. "I am still alive… because of this psycho."