A.N Sorry its been a while longer than i would have liked but i've been really busy. So heres an update for you, hopefully i'll update again in a couple of days.
We got back to school just as the bell went, she walked me to my lesson again and we went our separate ways. I spent the rest of the day lost in my thoughts. Thoughts of me and that she-devil Charlotte, thoughts of Lima and what I went through and thoughts of now and if, when and how I should tell people. I can't help but compare what happened in Lima to what could happen here and I'm just not ready for that to happen again. I'm not strong enough. I may act like a bitch that doesn't care what anyone thinks but I do and for that reason I won't tell anyone yet. I need to get to know them better first before I can let them know about me.
By the time I get home I already feel better. I've got a plan. It's not exactly elaborate, but I'm going to get to know them all better and then I'll tell them. But not before I'm sure.
I walk up the path to my new house, it doesn't feel like a home yet I haven't been here long enough. I don't really have any good memories here yet, well I don't really have anything worth counting as a memory. My days have all been pretty much the same since I got here. A few weeks of sitting in the house in sweats and now I've started Sixth Form. It's not exactly what I'd call excitement.
A few hours later.
"Mija! We're home where are you?"
"Upstairs Mami!"
"Okay, well come down we brought dinner with us"
I get up off of my bed and make my way towards my bedroom door. It all still looks so plain I really need to decorate my room it's still painted white. I go downstairs and walk in the kitchen my mum getting plates and cutlery out to set the table and my dad sorting out the food. Both of them smiling. It's good to see them smiling they've definitely been smiling more since me got here, no doubt about it. Maybe this fresh start really will be good for us.
"Mami Papi, what did you get for dinner?"
"Ahh I let your father choose so tonight's Chinese"
"Okay sweet, what did you get?"
"I got some egg fried rice and chicken in cashews for you as well as some prawn toast, that okay?"
"Yeah that's great thanks"
"Okay let's sit down to eat and you can tell us about your day"
We go into the dining room and sit down. We're all quiet at first sorting out and enjoying our food. The silence isn't uncomfortable like it used to be, in fact it's comforting there's no tension.
"Ermm mami papi, I was thinking…"
"Thinking? Be careful mija don't want you hurting yourself now do we" My dad looks at me, him and my mum both laugh.
"Hey, shut up. I do think you know." I quirk my eyebrow at him trying to be serious but I can't help but smile. It's nice to be able to joke together.
"I know you do honey, so what is it you've been thinking about?"
"Well my room, it's kinda boring. I was wondering if we could get some paint and stuff and decorate it this weekend? You know together?" I look down at my plate, after I was outed I cut myself off from my parents. I don't want it to be like that anymore, I want it to be like it was before.
"Together, of course I don't know about your mother but I'd love to." He smiles at me and takes my hand giving it a squeeze. That simple gesture and the look in his eyes telling me he wants it to be how it was before too.
"Of course I'd love to aswell mija. So what colours were you thinking?"
"I'm not really sure I thought we could see when we get there but maybe red "
"Oooh red honey I like it, very grown up"
"You think? And ermm mami afterwards you maybe wanna look around in town? You know see what shops they've got here?
"Sure honey I'd love to" She smiles at me from across the table, a smile that reaches her eyes. I'm happy we're going to do this, hopefully it'll be a start to getting us back to how we were before… happy.
That Saturday
"Ooh mija I like this one" She turns to me with a hot pink tin of paint in her hand.
"Dear god no that is gross, so gross in fact I may have to throw up right here"
"I'll take that as a no" She rolls her eyes at me and keeps looking. We've been looking at paints now for almost half an hour and I can't seem to find the right colour. I've liked some but none have been perfect and I want my new room to be perfect. My newly decorated room has to be perfect for my fresh start.
"Eurghh what am I gonna do none of them are right"
"We could mix one mija, you know to get the right shade"
"Hmmm I'm not sure"
"Have a think I'm going to keep looking or we'll never leave here"
Okay Santana thinking cap on what are we going to do. All of these colours are disgusting and mixing them together could only make them worse. What else is there? Ahhh I think I've got it.
"Okay I think I have an idea, the wall opposite the window in my room can be a feature wall I'll put my bed there and we can wallpaper it instead" That sounds like a good idea I can't help but smile. But that means another half an hour looking for wallpaper but I don't care new room new start and I'm going to get it right. With my new found purpose I turn to my mum.
"Mami put that ugly paint down the wallpapers a few aisles away. So vamos!"
I walk out of the paint aisle take a left and three aisles down is the wallpaper. Fingers crosses they're not as ugly as the paints. I ignore the first few rows, none of them the colour I'm looking for. I keep walking until I reach the ones with red on them. A few catch my eye. Then I see it, the perfect one that's it.
"Mami! I've found it. It's that one, that's the one it's just right" I'm practically jumping up and down as I tell her. She smiles at me.
"Thank goodness mija I'm sick of this shop already. Okay I'm going to find someone who works here before you change your mind again. Oh and try and find your father seeing as he slipped away 5 minutes into choosing paints."
This is a good start I have the wallpaper for my room, wait I need a colour to match the walls. I think I'll go for a cream I'm sure I saw a nice one somewhere in those awful colours. I'm getting there my wallpapers a deep red decorated with cream flowers with grey petals. Now I just need bed sheets I'm thinking red. Or maybe cream or even both. I need a lamp for my desk, some cushions, candles everybody loves candles and some picture frames. That should about do it. I write the list into my phone so I remember everything. That's when I see my mother come back around the corner with an employee, she's talking and smiling with her. I hear her say my name and they both laugh. It's none other than Brittany. I didn't know she worked here, well to be honest I don't actually know much about her at all I've only known her 5 days. I smile at her as she approaches me, taking her in. Even in her uniform she looks good, I'm pretty sure not many people can pull off the orange of b&q's uniform.
"Hey Britt"
"Hey San" She smiles back at me, we lock eyes for a few seconds. "So you're mum here tells me youre decorating your room and you want some wallpaper"
"Yeah that one up there third from the top"
"She also told me how fussy you were and that you thought all our paints were ugly" She feigns hurt as she says this.
"Errm I- uh yeah well they kinda are, no offense"
"None taken, just give me a sec to get the wallpaper down for you" She pulls a ladder from the end of the aisle over to the wallpaper I want. I watch her as she walks up the ladder stretching to reach it. I can't help but enjoy the view. She walks back down two rolls in hand.
"Here you go" She hands me the wallpaper and turns to my mum "anything else I can get you Mrs Lopez"
"Oh no honey we're fine, we're gonna get this and make our way home"
"Ahh actually mum I kind of need one tin of paint, and some cushions oh and a lamp. Actually I kind of wrote a list while you were gone" I smile at her and bat my eyelashes forgetting Brittany's there
My mum sighs "okay mija let's get those things but then we're going" she tries to sound stern it doesn't quite work. She turns to Brittany "See what did I tell you about Santana but thank you for your help Brittany I guess I better continue shopping." Brittany smiles at my mums comment and this makes me curious.
"Excuse me, what did you tell her" My voice rising ever so slightly, what if she's told her I'm a lesbian or what if she's told her how much of a bitch I am.
"Don't worry she didn't tell me anything bad San" She goes to walk past me as she does she whispers to me "Well nothing to bad anyway"
My mouth falls open slightly and I turn to watch her walk away and she winks at me. Oh great now I really want to know what she said.
"Mami! What did you tell her"
"I'm not telling you, you can ask her when her and her family come for dinner tomorrow"
"What they're coming for dinner?"
"Yeah I bumped into Brittany talking to her mum we got talking, I heard you two were friends so now they're coming for dinner"
Well this is going to be interesting.