Chapter 14... "Disappointment"

Jasper POV

Why on earth were Alice and Mike holding hands? It was a bad joke… when I saw that scene, a hundred of feelings crossed my mind: anger, rage, pain, jealousy, envy, and anguish.

Mike did not have the right to be with Alice. After all, he had made her suffer. And what about Alice telling me she loved me too and that she would avoid Mike? What the hell happened with that?

-Jasper… we tried to prevent you from seeing that- Edward spoke behind me.

-Yeah, we lied about not having classes- Emmett commented trying to comfort me, but it did not work.

-Thanks, guys. It's not your fault… I'd better go- I told them handing my schoolbag, which had fallen to the floor after I saw…them. Edward put his hand on my shoulder and nodded.

I do not really know how I managed to get home without knocking down anybody. I had been thinking about that scene all the way back. And when I was in my bedroom, in the kitchen, in every piece of the house!

Mrs. Brandon was worry about me. She told me I looked… which was the word? … Gaunt. And she was right, I was totally gaunt.

I lied and told her I was feeling sick. She was so maternal that made me some tea and took it to my bedroom. I appreciated it and stayed in my bedroom almost all morning and afternoon. When I was not sleeping, I was thinking about what had happened. My mind worked a thousand kilometers per hour and, although I did not want it, I could not avoid trying to find a suitable answer.

I woke up and looked my watch. It was five p.m. I looked for my cell phone in my jeans' pocket. I had received four text messages.

SMS 1: "Jazzy… what's up, buddy? Emmett the champion"

SMS 2: "it's okay, I don't want ur answer U.U I wanna go, it's so boring. Again, Emmett the champion"

I laughed out loud imagining Emmett's boring face during Philosophy class.

SMS 3: "Jazz, I hope u're okay… you know u can count on us, Edward"

SMS 4: "Emmett wants to tell u he's bored, Edward"

I laughed again. Even in the worst times, those two made me always smile. I was really glad I had met them.

I sat on the bed and my stomach roared. I hadn't have lunch and I was starving. Reluctantly, I stood up and went to the kitchen.

I looked for something to eat in the fridge and put it in the microwaves. I was having dinner when I heard the front door opening and, after a few seconds, closing. I didn't care because I thought it was Mrs. Brandon.

However, the person I was trying to avoid since the morning showed up in the kitchen. The same person I was so in love with, but she had so deeply disappointed me.

-Jasper… how are you? Are you okay?- Alice asked while entering calmly into the kitchen.

-Ajam- was my answer. I set my sight on the dish in front of me and continued eating.

-Emmett and Edward told me you weren't on class- she commented while drinking some water.

-Yeah, I didn't feel like going- I simply responded.

-Are you sure you're okay?

-Yeah.

-Are you mad?- she asked frowning.

-Should I…?- I looked at her eyes.

-I-I don't know…

-Oh, I think you do know…

-I don't know, Jasper- she said straight-face.

-I want you to answer me clearly- I spoke looking away and putting the dish in the washbasin. I would do the wash up later.

-Sure…

-Why on earth you chose him? Hadn't he hurt you so bad? Hadn't you tried to avoid him? So, explain me… what the hell were you two doing holding hands?- I could notice how she tensed her muscles and paled. After this, her eyes filled in tears.

-Jasper… we're… together again- it was definitely a bad joke.

-What? How can you be with Mike again? Don't you remember how much you cried for him?

-Yy-es, but—

- Shut up, Alice!- I exclaimed out of control- how could you do this to me? I believed you loved me and I would have the chance to be with you… and now you tell me you're with him… he doesn't deserve you! I don't get it, Alice… I was always there for you; you leaned on me when you tried to kill yourself… I helped you on trying to become the other Alice, the better Alice. But it wasn't enough… and is this the way you pay me? When could you count on him? When he was horny and wanted to have good sex?

-Jasper!

-He doesn't love you, Alice. I do love you. I am the one who is always there for you, through thick and thin. I confessed you my feelings, I respected you, I made you laugh… but I got nothing on return. I'm so mad and disappointed. Why him?

-I-I just love him- she confessed crying out loud. Ok, I did not expect that.

-You love him?- I questioned amazed.

-Y-yes- she answered in tears, looking at her feet.

-I thought you were different, Alice… I never thought you would use me and treat me like rubbish as Mike has done you.

-Mike hasn't used me and neither do I- she said without looking up.

-Yeah, wherever- I murmured while going straight to the kitchen's door. I turned around again- but, next time, I won't be there when he hurt you.

-And I won't look for your help 'cause I don't need you anymore. Besides, he won't hurt me- she answered back standing up and leaving.

I sat on the table and put my face on my hands. I did not want to have a discussion with Alice but I was out of my mind. I was hurt, really hurt. Everything had gone down the sink in the twinkling of an eye. That was really what had happened. When I had gone to bed, everything was all right, but when I woke up, everything had changed.

I did the wash up and came back to my bedroom. I played the guitar for a while and then laid on the bed again. I surfed the Internet, chatted with Rose and told her about my discussion. She insisted on there had to be an explanation. There was one: she loved him.

After an hour, Mrs. Brandon entered the room.

-Jazz, how are you, honey?- she asked kindly while putting some clean clothes on the bed.

-I'm better, Mary. Thanks- I tried to be convincing.

-Well, if you need something, just let me know…

-Thanks- I smiled and she nodded, leaving.

The dinner time was really tense between Alice and I.

-Are you both okay?- George asked looking straight to us. We both nodded.

-are you sure?- Mary inquired, and we nodded again.

-Jasper, my wife told me you're sick… how are you now?

-Such a liar- Alice murmured next to me.

- I've heard you- I whispered to her and then turned my attention to her father- I'm better, George. Something made me sick this morning, that's all.

-Are you implying something?- Alice mumbled.

-if you get the hint, that's not my fault-

-You're such an asshole. You don't get it- she murmured turning her back.

- If you don't explain me, it's obvious I won't get it. I can't read minds- I muttered sarcastically.

-You should, 'cause I won't tell you- she said turning around again, forgetting her parents were still there.

-I'm sick of your secrets… 'I can't tell you', 'I'll tell you later'. I don't want to know it. I don't care…. Keep you little secrets. Oh, no! I have a better idea… Tell them to you lovely boyfriend.

-You're such an asshole and you'll always be it!- she spotted the words while standing up and leaving.

-Thanks, I was aware of that- I said sarcastically.

-What's going on here?- George asked raising an eyebrow.

-Nothing- I simply responded while shrugging.

Mary looked straight to me.

-It was just a silly discussion, don't you worry. I'll go to bed, bon apétit- I said going to my bedroom.

However, that 'silly discussion' lasted for a month. We didn't talk to each other and that hurt me a lot. But I won't give in, and neither will she.

During dinners, Mr. and Mrs. Brandon were the ones who chatted. In the buffet, Alice didn't sit with us anymore. She was with her boyfriend, the cheerleaders and the football team. Yes, she was the 'old Alice'.

But the worst thing of all was that I was still in love with her.

And every time I looked at her, Mike smiled sharply to me and kissed her, which made me really angry.

My friends were not glad with the idea of Alice hanging out with Mike again. But that was her decision, and we could do nothing thereon.

I think it was the most boring Sunday afternoon of all. I was using the notebook when my sister, who was online, talked to me.

-JASPER, PLEASE HANG UP THE FUCKING PHONE!-

-I'm not on the phone, Rose- I answered calmly.

-IT'S AN EMERGENCY, JASPER! PLEASE…- I stood up worry and lifted the handset. A man's voice got my attention. That was Mike's voice and he was talking to Alice.

I know it is impolite to listen to a private conversation, but I just could not help it and stay there on silence…