"Right, I'm assuming from the clues before me that you've met Hayley."

"Yes, I've met Hayley." Caroline said in a quiet voice, she really didn't want to be having this conversation right now, especially not with Klaus "Now, If you'll excuse me, I have a date with seven tubs of Ben and Jerry's and some really depressing films" she said.

"Of course" he said, stepping aside for her to pass

"Thanks" Caroline mumbled as she rather awkwardly began to carry on down the street

"Oh, and Caroline," she heard him calling after her, she tried to carry on and ignore him but then heard "just so you know, if Tyler were still sired to me he never would have hurt you" she turned to look at him "I never would have let him" he said softly, before turning away and walking down the street in the opposite direction.

Chapter 3: Unicorn Bullshit

After Ice cream tub number 5, tissue box number 3 and depressing film number 9 Caroline decided enough was enough. She was not going to continue to cry over such a deceitful pig. He did not deserve her tears. She was going to move on. Yes. Move on. From Tyler.

Why did the thought of that fill her with such dread?

No. Bad Caroline. You are not going to think about Tyler. You are going to go an entire afternoon without thinking about Tyler. It's a Saturday. It's 5 in the afternoon. You are going to ring up Elena and Bonnie, and you are going to have a girl's night in, eating junk food and watching bad Saturday night telly, like the X Factor and other such trash. Or, go out and get completely wasted. Getting wasted sounded fun. Caroline threw the duvet off her lap and quickly flashed around her room, picking up the mountain of snotty tissues and Ice Cream tubs from her floor, straightening out her bedspread, and neatening things up again. Caroline Forbes 'neat freak' will not have a pig sty for a room. Pigs like Tyler have pig sties for rooms. Tyler…. No! Caroline inwardly groaned. Not thinking about Tyler was going to be harder than she thought.

Switching on her phone, which she had turned off on Thursday night after she had broken up with he who must not be named under any circumstances, she received an influx of buzzes, just great, that was 13 missed calls from various people and 28 unread texts, mostly asking where she was and why she was dodging calls. She rang up Elena and Bonnie, apologised for being off grid for so long and then agreed to meet them at the Mystic Grill at half six before they could ask her where she had been. That gave her about an hour to get ready.

She began by taking another shower, because after spending over 24 hours in bed, crying her eyes out and pigging out on junk food, Caroline stank. Smothering herself with every available toiletry she could find in her bathroom, she stepped out smelling of vanilla, cinnamon and gingerbread. She concluded that she smelt good enough to eat, who was going to eat her though, that she did not know. After throwing on an outfit she quickly smeared on some makeup. Well, I say smear, meticulously apply everything she could possibly find in her makeup bag with the upmost care and vampire speed would be more accurate, but hey! Who's nit-picking? Deciding to wear her hair down for once she slid in some dangly earrings, threw a long necklace over her head, grabbed her purse, mobile and keys and legged it out of the house. It was twenty five past 6, and Caroline would not be late, Caroline was never late.

Today, a new Caroline will rise out of the ashes of the old Caroline. A fabulous Caroline, who will only ever think of the name Tyler with disgust, and will be the shining example of Mystic Falls. So, being late would not be a good start to New Caroline's life.

Flashing over to the Mystic Grill she stopped outside the door, composed herself and walked through the doors with her usual calm and dignified stature. That was, of course, until she saw Klaus sitting at the bar, tripped up over a chair leg and fell flat on her face. Way to go Caroline! She quickly picked herself up, straightened out her clothes, and tried to avoid looking a deeper shade of beetroot than she already did. She marched over to the table Elena and Bonnie were sitting at, waiting for her, her head held high, but then she saw Klaus watching her, an amused smirk painting his face as he lifted his glass to his lips, and her face blushed even harder. She then attempted to slide into the booth with as much composure as she could manage as Elena and Bonnie continued to laugh hysterically. Caroline gave them her 'Shut up, Shut up now' glare and they both quickly got the message.

"Sorry, are you okay?" Elena asked, trying to stifle her giggles

Caroline thumped her head against the table, hiding her head in shame.

"No" she grumbled against her arm "I have just made a complete twat of myself in front of everyone… and Klaus!"

"It was pretty bad" Bonnie said, only to receive a slap on the arm from Elena, and a glare, which quickly turned into more giggles.

Matt came over, looking concerned and asking her if she was alright, Caroline just shook her head and demanded he bring her alcohol, strong, and lots of it.

"I don't know Care, I could lose my job if they catch me serving someone underage…" Matt trailed off when he saw the death glare she was giving him "I'll just go get some" he squeaked and rushed off to the bar.

"So, where have you been, it's like you've just… disappeared, you weren't at school on Friday, and I've been trying to contact you all day, but you haven't been picking up!" Elena droned on whilst Caroline slumped further and further into the chair, wishing it would swallow her whole. This was a bad idea, yup, deffo a very bad idea, I should just go home, the weaker side of Caroline's brain said. New Caroline could wait a bit while this Caroline quickly died of embarrassment.

"I have been…" Caroline started, how best to put this? Should she lie? No, absolutely not Caroline, you have to be the world's worst spontaneous liar; you would probably end up spouting some ridiculously unbelievable bullshit about unicorns or something. So yeah, no lying. Urgh, that leaves the truth. "Wallowing…" she muttered into the table.

It was at that moment that Matt came back with a large tumbler of strong whiskey. "Bless you, Matt" she praised as she took an almighty swig from the glass, attempting to ignore the amused look that she could see Klaus giving her over his own glass in the corner of her eye.

He is not there Caroline. You cannot see him.

Bah, who was she kidding, she could totally see him.

She returned her attention to the whiskey, enjoying the burning path it made as it trickled down her throat.

"Why Care, what's wrong? We tried asking Tyler what happened but he's just as secluded as you. Please, tell us what happened" Caroline almost immediately felt like blurting out every feeling she had ever felt in her entire life to Bonnie when she spoke like that to her. Caroline resolved there and then that she didn't spend enough time with Bon, and should start spending lots more time with her right now.

Caroline slowly lifted her head from the table. Well, it had to come off of there at some point, right?

Slowly and deliberately she said "Me and Tyler broke up" surprising herself by not completely breaking down into sobs. The two girls on the other side of the table didn't surprise her at all. Was it slightly bitchy to say that she expected them to go all squeal-y and overly sympathetic and shocked, probably not, but hey, that didn't stop her from feeling bitchy, and therefore guilty, which added to her already too large steaming pile of guilt. Yay… guilt.

"Oh My God! Why?!" Elena practically screeched. God, half the time the girl had an annoyingly raspy man voice and the other half it was so freakin high it could burst your ear drums.

"He cheated" Caroline said simply "because he is a jerk, and that is what jerks do, and that is why I am renouncing jerks"

"Oh Care…" Elena sighed sympathetically "I'm sorry"

"How are you doing Care?" Bonnie asked

"I'm doing alright actually" Caroline's mouth said for her. Hah… LIES! "I've been spending a lot of time self- pitying and crying to Taylor Swift, but I realised this morning that, well… he's not worth it, he just isn't worth my tears. He broke up our relationship by sleeping with some were-slut, and yeah, I'm kinda sad it's over, and I'm angry he slept with someone else, let alone such a skanky bitch excuse my French. But that's just it. He slept with somebody else. He's a knob. And from that knob, I shall move on"

Whoa there Confucius, wisdom overload.

"Which is why" Caroline continued "I am renouncing Jerks"

"Well," Bonnie said brightly "You sound okay"

"Do you want us to egg Tyler's car for you? Because we will totally egg Tyler's car" said Elena, looking a little too excited at the prospect of chucking eggs at the Mayor's son's car.

"Egging Tyler's car must be done, there is no choice in the matter, Care, his car is being egged, witchy-vampire style!" Caroline giggled slightly at their enthusiasm. God, she thought. I just giggled. Lord help me.

"Thanks you two. Oh my god, how long is it since we just had girl talk? Since we sat down and talked about boys and egging our ex's cars for each other?"

"It has definitely been too long" said Bon

"Hang on…" began Elena "not to burst this bubble or anything, but who the hell are you going to have as your date to the Miss Mystic Falls Pageant?"

Ah. Caroline hadn't thought of that.

"Well could I just, not go with anyone?" she asked, but, yeah, she already knew the answer to that.

"No! You're Miss Mystic Falls! You have to have a date!" Well my dear Elena, I hate to say this, but way to burst the frickin' bubble.

Okay, can we all just sob for a minute about Kol.

It was so bloody hard not to torture Elena in this chapter, seriously, I really want her dead, and I really want Kol back, alive.

Anyway, I seemed to have developed my own weird slash between 1st person and 3rd person that is becoming increasingly difficult to write with, but it is late and I want to upload this as soon as poss for all you Yankees so it shall have to be rectified later.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, which was a sort of a filler chapter, I promise the next one will have some much juicier klaroline scenes in.

Lots of love

Thanking you with Smarties

A penguin.