Chapter 5

What the hell was I thinking?

Frustrated with himself, Ray kicked the garbage can in his room. He watched it fly across the room, the garbage spilling out onto the floor, but he didn't care. He sat down on the edge of his bed and buried his head in his hands.

I had the perfect opportunity to make a move and I decide that it's time to call it a night. What is wrong with me?

He looked over at the sheet music that was still on his bed from earlier in the afternoon when he had been writing. It was a song that, even if he didn't want to admit it, he had written because of her. He had to get the feelings that he was having off of his chest and writing was the only way he knew how. As he stared at the words, he crumpled them up in his hands and threw them to where the garbage can used to be. He threw himself back against the pillows.

If she was just another girl…if I didn't feel the way that I feel… this would be so much easier. I would be able to just kiss her and get it over with. But she's not just another girl and I can't help but feel the way I feel.

In the kitchen, Neela stared at the turkey sandwich that she had only half finished. She shivered, feeling as if the kitchen had just gotten ten degrees colder since he had walked away. She stood up and threw the sandwich away. Suddenly she didn't feel as hungry and she felt drained. She left Ray's sandwich and the bag of chips right where they were, not having the energy to clean it up. As she went to blow out the candle that was still burning on the table, a tear rolled down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away with the back of her hand.

Stop crying, she told herself. There's no reason to be crying. I'm the one who set myself up for disappointment. I'm the one who let myself believe that he might have feelings for me that he obviously doesn't have. He just wants to be friends. I shouldn't be crying over having the best friend a person could ever want. Stop crying. Another tear fell. Stop crying.

But she couldn't. As the tears fell down her face, she wiped them away, but they came too quickly and finally, she let them fall. She lowered herself to the kitchen floor and she sobbed quietly, mourning a relationship that she realized she never had.

Hours later, Ray was lying in bed underneath a sheet, a comforter, and three extra blankets. He even wore a long sleeved shirt and a pair of sweat pants even though he was usually much more comfortable with nothing but a pair of boxer shorts.

He stared at his ceiling, unable to sleep. He had heard Neela go to her own room and slam the door soon after he had walked away from her. It was the slammed door that kept him awake. He kept asking himself if the slammed door meant that she was hurting because he had walked away or if she was just annoyed for some other reason, like being freezing. Did the slammed door mean that she had similar feelings or was it nothing more than a door just closed too hard?

Sighing, Ray rolled over.

Why are women so complicated? And how did this perfect day end up so…unperfect?

As he closed his eyes, hoping that he might fall asleep to take his mind off of things, he heard a loud crash and he heard her scream.

Ray's heart stopped. He threw off the covers, bolted out of bed, and raced to her room. He didn't even bother to knock. He flung her door open and scanned the room. He saw her through the darkness, sitting on the floor by her closet. She was surrounded by shoeboxes, pants, shirts, hangers, and a number of other miscellaneous paraphernalia.

"What happened?" Ray asked, walking over to her and offering her a hand. He helped her up, but didn't let go of her hand once she was standing. She rubbed the back of her head with her free hand.

"My closet…fell apart," she explained.

Ray looked over at the mess and then at her closet. The bar and shelves that ran across the top of the closet had fallen, sending everything toppling down. Neela's once extremely organized closet was now a large pile of stuff.

"Are you okay?"

He grabbed a flashlight off the table by her bed and turned it on, pointing it at her. Ray let go of her hand, not realizing that he had still been holding it. He went behind her and started examining her head.

"You've already got quite the bruise," he told her as he pushed her hair aside to look at her scalp.

"I think my stilettos fell right on my head," she said.

Stilettos? Her legs would look gorgeous in stilettos. Then again, her legs would look gorgeous in…

She winced as he touched the spot where she had been hit.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I've never seen you wear a pair of stilettos."

"That's because I've never worn them. Abby made me buy them once. It was stupid." Why am I telling him this? And why does he care that I own a pair of stilettos anyway? I mean, I know Ray's a leg man, but… "Ouch!"

"Sorry," he apologized again. "Well, I don't think you have a concussion. It's just going to be sore for a while."

He stroked her hair gently, putting it back into place. He unconsciously leaned in towards her, smelling her. She smelled just like her blanket from that morning. In his opinion, it was the perfect scent.

"What were you doing in your closet anyway?" He asked, trying to get his mind off of her scent.

"I was looking for this," she said, picking up a blanket from the ground.

"Well, in the future, I would suggest wearing the blanket, not the closet."

Neela quickly wrapped the blanket around herself.

"When I reached for the blanket, I tripped and I grabbed for the bar to keep myself from falling down. Unfortunately, the bar fell with me."

Ray let out a deep chuckle, thinking about her falling with the bar in hand.

"It's not funny," she insisted, holding back a laugh of her own. She could only imagine what it had looked like when Ray had walked in and she was sitting on the floor surrounded by the contents of her closet.

"You have to admit, it is a little funny," he replied. "I'll put it back up tomorrow."

Neela smiled as Ray walked closer to the closet, inspecting the damage. There was just something about him doing handy work that tugged at her heart.

"Thank you, but I'm a little more worried about the heat than my closet. It's absolutely freezing."

"You said that earlier today."

"Yeah, well, now I mean it."

She shivered and tenderly rubbed the back of her head.

"You should put some ice on the back of your head, you know," Ray suggested, bringing his attention back to her.

"Are you volunteering to go outside and find me some? There's no electricity, which means the refrigerator isn't on, which means the ice has probably melted by now. Granted, it's so cold that I wouldn't be surprised if I saw ice starting to form on the walls."

"Okay, so we'll go without the ice."

"Besides, if I put anything frozen on my head, it'll just make me colder."

"It does seem to be colder in your room than mine."

"Mine's on the outside of the apartment building. Yours is on the inside. Less wind."

"Why don't you stay with me tonight?"

What? He thought.

What? Her head screamed. Did he just say what I think he just said? Did he ask me to stay with him?

Did I just ask her to stay with me? Where did that come from? I mean, yeah, I want her to stay with me more than anything in the world but just four hours ago, I was pushing her away and now I'm inviting her to my bed. What is going on with me?

"Ray…I…" she began.

"Look, it's warmer in my room and with the body heat…we'll both be warmer," he quickly rationalized.

With the amount of heat I feel when I'm near him, we could start a small fire, Neela thought.

"I guess it does make sense," she responded, wondering if she had agreed for the warmth or because she would be literally sleeping with him.

They both stared at the floor. An awkward tenseness that they rarely felt with each other fell upon them.

"Well, that's settled then," Ray said, breaking the silence. He headed off towards his room and Neela followed a few steps behind. As she entered his room, she held her breath. It felt like she was crossing a threshold she had never before crossed.

You've seen his room before, she reminded herself. Hell, you've slept in his bed before. She remembered the memory fondly. Her room was being painted and he was working day shifts while she was working night shifts so he offered her his room. Of course, this time he'll be in the bed when you're in it, but he's just you friend. I mean, you've fallen asleep on the couch together dozens of times. This is no different.

But from the moment he sat on the bed and she sat on the other side, she knew that it was definitely different. He laid down first, simply laying on his back, staring at the ceiling. Neela slowly lowered herself down beside him on her side so she was facing away from him. There was a foot of space between them.

Ray reached for the blankets at the end of his bed and he covered them both. At the same time, Neela threw the blanket that was still wrapped around her body on top of them. Ray settled back down against the pillows. Even though they were far from each other, he could feel her beside him and he longed to be closer.

Just do it, he thought.

He inched closer to her, slowly at first, but then more quickly. She felt his chest press against her back and his arm wrapped around her so that he had her in a warm embrace.

This feels so right, she thought.

She shifted back against him to be closer to him. She felt his hand close around hers and his head left his pillow to rest on hers. They were perfectly spooned together, as if their bodies were meant to be there in that position for the rest of eternity.

Immediately, they both felt their eyes drooping. As Ray drifted off to sleep, only one thought came to his mind.

I love her.

Author's Note:

Well, this chapter definitely took me the shortest time to write. I've never before completely written, edited, and posted a chapter in one day and that's what I just did. I just hope that doing it so fast wasn't a mistake. Anyway, thank you for all of the great comments and everyone's patience as I continue with this story. I hope you liked it and please continue to comment!

Edit: I do apologize for the mistake about the electricity in the first edition of this chapter. I have since fixed it and I hope it all makes sense now. Thanks to Beaglicious for pointing it out!