Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Naruto.

I realized after I posted the last chapter that I made a small mistake at the very end! AUGH! After I had tried so hard to make it mostly accurate! With Deidara, of all characters! See, Deidara can't be any older than early 30s, at the most…which would make him a few years older than Kakashi and them. And his only partner since he joined the Akatsuki was Sasori. So in order for him to be a part of this story he'd have to be at the very oldest 17 or 18, which seems a little young to me to be such a hardened criminal and joining such an organization (although you never know…Itachi did it). But Sasori's original partner was Orochimaru…so you see now how I have messed up!

Deidara: You should be ashamed, Kari…yeah

Kari: I didn't ask your opinion! I already know I messed up pretty bad (gets depressed)…go make something blow up, it'll cheer me up.

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Kakashi ran madly through the forest, desperately seeking to put distance between himself and his pursuer. The branches whipped his face and torso as he jumped at breakneck speed through them, thinking of nothing but putting enough distance between the two of them to be able to prepare some sort of counterattack.

How is he doing it? Kakashi wondered. He moves so fast…how am I supposed to be able to copy his jutsus if I can barely see his hand seals?

Seeing an opportunity, he dove down from the trees to a small hollow located between the roots of a particularly large tree. Quickly, he produced a shadow before crawling into the dark hole to wait. His clone meanwhile busied itself with setting booby traps, as many as possible, some obvious, some not.

I hope this works, he thought desperately. I don't have much chakra left.

The clone hid itself high above in the tree and they waited. Kakashi slowed his breathing, slowed his heartbeat, made sure he drew as little air as possible, stopped moving, trying so hard to make sure he was unnoticeable. If he failed yet again…he shuddered involuntarily at the thought.

"Oh, Kakashi…" came the sing-song voice, so sweetly sickening. "Come out, Kakashi…this running and hiding isn't very shinobi-like, you know…"

Kakashi swallowed hard and buried himself deeper in the little hole he had found.

Please…please let this work…please…

Footsteps, coming ever closer…

Just a little farther…just a little farther…

…they stop, just short of the tree, and he waits with bated breath, daring to hope that his plan can be carried out…

"Well, what's this?" the voice whispers to itself, more amused than anything else. "A trap? How pathetic. Is this really the best you can do, Kakashi?"

The sound of a kunai being drawn, and the trap is sprung.

That trap was invisible…Sweat runs down Kakashi's face beneath the mask. How did he…

Something brushes against his hand, something that feels suspiciously cold and strange to the touch. He attempted to push it away, only to have it wrap itself around his hand, sliding up his arm, and he realized it was ALIVE.

And then the snake's breath was hissing in his ear, and it was all he could do to stay still, though panic was running rampant through his body.

Don't move…don't move… He shuddered slightly as its tongue tickled against his skin.

Fangs, sinking deep into his shoulder made him cry out. Poison flooded into his body, racing through his veins as the snake wound down his arm and slithered over to Orochimaru.

"Good work," the older ninja told his summoning. "You should come out now, Kakashi."

Kakashi reluctantly climbed out of the hollow, clutching his shoulder as he did so.

"That was extremely ill-thought out, Kakashi." The grey-skinned man frowned.

"I…I…" He doubled over as a wave of pain swept outward through his body. "I'm sorry, Orochimaru-sensei…" He sank to his knees and bent his head to the ground, trying to gain some control over his own body.

Orochimaru bent down into a low crouch, gently lifting Kakashi's face so that they were eye to eye.

"You will never succeed at anything if you keep carrying on in this manner," he whispered softly. "And you will not be worth my time."

Kakashi nodded as best he could.

Why doesn't he stop talking and just help me?

"You should stop moving," Orochimaru advised. "The poison won't kill you, but if you keep moving around like that, you'll only make the pain worse. It should pass, though, in a few hours."

Kakashi moaned softly.

"Come back to the village when you feel better," Orochimaru began to walk away. "You can take the rest of the week off. I've got a mission and I can't be bothered with taking you along."

And the world slipped into blackness as he watched his new sensei's back growing farther and farther away, leaving him alone in the forest.

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"Hey, kid, you alright?"

His eyes opened to bright sunlight, outlining the form of an extremely large man.

"Snake…poison…Orochimaru…he left me…" Kakashi mumbled softly.

"Orochimaru?" He could hear the frown in the other man's voice. "Damn…that asshole. You've been out here since yesterday afternoon."

"What?" Kakashi squinted against the sun, trying to take in the other's appearance.

"He told us you had stayed out here to train. I didn't think he would actually leave you behind like this. What'd you do to deserve this?"

"Failed one of his tests."

"…oh…"

The man sighed. "I think he gets more delusional as the years go on. You need some help, kid?"

Kakashi shook his head as he pushed himself to his feet. "I'm ok, thanks."

The man was tall, incredibly tall, and big, with broad shoulders and chest hidden by baggy clothing. His white hair fell down nearly to his knees, and red marks ran from his eyes down his cheeks.

"You're Arashi's student." the man said. "Hatake Kakashi, right?"

Kakashi sighed. The other man laughed.

"Yeah, you probably get tired of this." He held out his hand. "I'm Jiraiya."

Kakashi's eyes widened. "The Jiraiya? Of the Legendary Three?"

Jiraiya laughed. "The one and only." They shook hands. "Come on, I'll go with you back to the village."

They walked through the forest in companionable silence for awhile, until Kakashi dared to ask:

"Was Orochimaru-sensei always this harsh?"

Jiraiya laughed. "Yes. He was always the best in our team, the farthest ahead of all of us. And he expects absolute perfection from everyone." He smiled. "But deep down…he really is a good person."

Kakashi's face must have betrayed his doubt, because Jiraiya began to laugh harder. "I know you don't think so, but believe me, when you get to know him better, you'll understand."

"If you say so…" Kakashi muttered to himself.

At the village gates Jiraiya stopped.

"I've got to go submit my report," he said. "Can you make it home on your own?"

Kakashi frowned. "I'm not a child."

"Oh no?" There was a wicked smile on Jiraiya's face. "Then perhaps you wouldn't mind reading this for me!"

In a flash he had whipped out a small, leather-bound book.

"It's the manuscript of my novel that will be published soon!" he cried enthusiastically. "Read it and tell me what you think!"

"Um…" Kakashi took the book hesitantly. "Ok…thanks…" He opened the front cover and read:

Come-come Paradise

Interesting…he thought, burying his nose in the book as he made his way home. Very interesting…

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"Oh dear…"

Orochimaru surveyed his test subjects, sprawled on the medical tables of his hidden lab.

"And not one survived…" he mused. "Well, that is a shame. So this soul-transfer jutsu is a failure."

He smiled slightly and brushed his hair away from his face, pulling out a new scroll that contained a fresh new body of a newly-murdered Konoha chuunin.

"Well, my dear," he said gallantly to the corpse. "Thank you for giving up your life so easily to me. After all, we must have everything perfect for when Kakashi is ready to be my new container."

He picked up a scalpel.

"It wouldn't do to destroy such a perfect specimen, now would it?"

Laughing to himself, he began his gory work, immersed in blood and dreams of a dark and nightmarish future.

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I'm sorry it takes me so long to update. But they're piling on shitloads of work at school (particularly my chem teacher) and I can't seem to get anything done, whether it's writing fanfics or just regular writing projects of my own

I'll try to be faster next time

Deidara: You'd better, Kari...yeah...or else...

Kari: I'm too tired to fight with you...there's still homework to be done... (sigh)