Please be aware that my first languaje is not English, my first language is Spanish so please be kind with any grammar or spell mistake.

Chapter 1

It's 7 am, the alarm clock rang 15 minutes ago.

I've never liked to get up early but lately my internal clock does not allow me sleep past 5 am.

I'm getting ready to attend university to one of my last classes before the summer holidays.

Not long ago it would have been excited to planning to the smallest detail of my vacation, beach, parties, and why not a little 'rough fun'. I still enjoy the Sun and the beach, but party and rough fun now seem far to me, perhaps a bit painful, an empty stomach and a rare sense of nostalgia goes through my spine whenever I remember those days.

It's been almost 2 years since our last meeting, I'm about get my professional title and he probably is busy being happy.

I try not to think too much about him, thus avoiding unnecessary suffering, my life now is somehow quiet and I really want to concentrate on finishing my career.

The clock strikes 7:45 am, I'm ready to leave home, a little bit of fruit, cheese and a large glass of mineral water will be enough to calm the appetite in the morning.

Check my backpack and I have enough, some books that I should return to the library, my notebook, my Mac rather old now and my mobile. I'm on time, took the keys of my red car on the table of my department's landline. Plug my headset to my cell phone, seek the application of music playback and choose random play trusting that my device will be more aware than myself of my musical mood; Rihanna I Love the way you lie, begins to play as I crossed the door of my apartment.

I'm waiting for the elevator when I hear the ring of the phone inside, although I'm not sure that is really ringing, I like to listen to music at a very high volume, so I decreased it a bit and try to sharpen my ear and make sure that actually the phone is ringing, but at that moment the elevator doors are open, so I decide to ignore it since not many people knows my number, my parents among them but I talked the night before with mom and all was going well so I run inside the elevator and bind the button that lead me to the basement in the parking lot of my building, once again put the volume of my music to the fullest; now sounds like JLO with If you Had My Love, I climb to my car and place my backpack at the back seat then I open the glove box in an act of old mania and take a pack of cigarettes I put one in my mouth and I look for rear-view mirror, immediately see my eyes reflected I remember that I'm trying to leave the bad habit and I question myself why I still keep the full packs of Kool everywhere...

"Maybe I'm not sure I want to leave it at all, but it wouldn't be the only vice I'm not sure I want to turn away, I think"

I take the cigarette out of my mouth and threw it out the window of the passenger, return the packet to the glove box and look a bit to find my Trident,

Switch my car on, accelerated and drive to the University. Missing 2 minutes for 12 and Professor Gordon has finished the semester classes, we are few in the course and the only noise in the classroom is the backpacks zippers closing.

The sound of the Bell breaks the silence and such like when I was a child in the school I wait until everyone is out to do take my way.

I always loved to get out at last, I guess it was because that time in 6th grade when trying to get out of the classroom in the midst of all the fuss of the kids I was hooked with my own poorly tied-off cords and went to fall on my knees in front of Jason Schaw, the cutest boy of the classroom but for me it was the most handsome boy of school-wide and not only for me, girls in 7th grade were in love with him, since he was higher than the average among the boys of the 6th grade, her white skin, long eyelashes and large blue eyes, also appeared older than he actually was.

I was on my knees facing him and the rest of their friends who was looking at me laughing, grab my backpack lying next to me and try to incorporate making a great effort to hold back the tears but suddenly Jason leaned toward me and press my shoulder with force, making me unable to stand, I looked him directly in the eyes, and for a few seconds my breathing accelerated, it was a feeling similar to what I felt when watching romantic films and couples were passionate kissing.

His friends remained in silence, the laughter ceased and after what seemed an eternity to me he took his hand out of my shoulder releasing the pressure, then grabbed my arm and helped me to lift.

With a thread of broken voice by the crying which I thank him and I came out flying from the building as I thought what was what had just happened there inside. By that time the crying was already something almost impossible to control,

I felt ashamed of my stupidity but at the same time felt a different emotion, I was confused and refused to believe that for a very small moment I enjoyed be kneeling at the mercy of the guy of my dreams.

"I guess it was my first time facing the fact of my submissive nature"

I drive back home, despite being Friday I have no plans but it is not surprising since my social circle is small, almost non-existent, I have no women friends I've never felt comfortable with other women, the idea of entrusting something to someone and that after some misunderstanding my secrets become Vox populi terrifies me.

"Women have a furious boost to reveal secrets when we are injured, especially the secrets that have entrusted us for those who have hurt us"

My best friend to call it somehow is hundreds of miles across the Atlantic; Nojustice29 is his Alias in the Forum where I like to share some of my hobbies, or deviations if I'm truly honest. Our friendship is virtual, he has been a dominant since he was 20 and has told me and when she tells me about his sub missives, I know that he is American but when he finished his studies in Economics at Yale he went to Germany, his paternal grandfather lives there, He comes off of a rather wealthy family I think, but he is not very open to share the details of his private life in the real world.

My parents still live together, we live in the same city but I left home when I was 18, they are good parents but they have a view of morality that doesn't fit with my hobbies...