Finally a sorta funny one! I don't own anything!

Title: Stealth (take one)

Rating: Kiddy... ish. More like teen

Words: 981 (short)

(**)

"The most important lesson of being a ninja is stealth," Zabuza lectured, standing in front of the boys. Sometimes he would look at them in the middle of their training and the only thing he could really think is how impossible it was that he was teaching children of all things on how to fight. If it wasn't for the thin, dark haired Magic User, he would sooner throw the brats than train them.

"Wait, if that's the most important then how come we learned about our short/long range weapons first?" Naruto asked, scratching at one of his tanned cheeks in confusion. Zabuza often wondered how the boy kept up such a perfect tan in a place that rarely had a sun but he kept such juvenile thoughts in the back of his mind. Instead he focused on the way he could absolutely drown in Severus' dark eyes.

"Naruto, shut up," Gaara ordered, elbowing his older brother. Naruto glared at the shorter boy, sticking out his tongue childishly which was ignored by Gaara immediately. Zabuza let out a sigh and rubbed at the bridge of his nose, pinching it several times in aggravation. He opened his mouth to yell at them but was beaten to it by the oldest of the boys; Haku.

"Don't be mean to Naruto, Gaara. It's not nice!" Haku scolded the jinchuuriki. Gaara folded his arms over his chest and stepped back to look at his oldest brother and not the blonde's triumphant facial expression. It was obvious that the blond was pretty smug that someone was on his side.

"I'm not being mean, he's being stupid," Gaara defended himself. Naruto glared and stepped until he and Gaara were foot to foot. The smaller boy didn't even flinch or raise a brow, instead simply tilting his head slightly so that they were nose to nose.

"I'm not stupid ttebayo!" Naruto shouted, face turning red. He remembered all the other kids making fun of him because he couldn't read the signs for the food and his teachers never liked him enough to help him at the orphanages, when he stayed of course. So having his little brother, who was well versed with the alphabet, call him stupid not only hurt his feelings but made him angry.

"Are too!" Gaara yelled back, using his hands to push the bigger boy away. It was the first time Gaara had ever resorted to physical violence in which his body ever touched another's. Now he understood why boys did it so much—it felt so much better to—

"Why you—!" Naruto had tackled Gaara. The redhead didn't understand why his sand hadn't reacted to Naruto attacking him but it hadn't and now they were rolling around on the ground. Zabuza blinked several times, his mouth open as he gazed at the boys rolling about, kicking and yelling without a single bit of finesse. Where had he gone wrong? Where were all the dangerous moves he taught the boys? A tiny piece of Zabuza's soul broke in half.

"You guys, stop fighting!" Haku ordered, running over to his brothers and trying to break it up. A hand shot out, either Gaara's or Naruto's, and pulled his hair causing him to fall in their brawling circle. Haku blocked a foot and started pulling and punching at the other two just as immaturely as his brothers were at him.

Zabuza couldn't believe it. The brats were wrestling in the mud, ignoring every bit of training he had put them through. He didn't see a single glint of a blade and none of the fighting techniques were being utilized as if they had never been taught. Zabuza wished for a nice, cold drink—one that would burn the failure that was happening at the moment.

"So, this is what you teach them… I always envisioned something more… graceful, perhaps even deadly," a velvety voice purred, causing Zabuza's chest to tighten oddly. He turned his head to see Severus smirking beside him, having obviously just gotten there.

"This is not what I teach them," Zabuza protested. He turned to the brats and barked, "Stop brawling like disgusting animals and fight as I have taught you!"

It was as if he spoke another language for he was completely ignored. For a brief, barbaric moment, he considered jumping in the fray and knocking their heads together but it would simply prove… something that was really bad.

"Yes… I am glad to see that your instructions are heeded well. Do they also oink on command?" Severus taunted. Zabuza glared at the man and held back from tackling him to the ground so that he could ravish that mocking mouth but he resisted. Instead he settled for glaring evilly which Severus simply smirked and purposely looked up at him through his thick eyelashes. Oh, he was being a damn tease and there was no way that it was an accident!

"You can't break them up," Zabuza challenged. Severus raised a brow and walked over to the brawling boys, standing in front of their pile very calmly. He observed them, tilting his head this way and that before shaking it slightly.

"Stop this at once," Severus commanded softly. It had to be magic. Snape had to have waved his hand or said a spell because, suddenly, the boys were not fighting and they were all on their knees, looking guiltily up at the skinny man. He folded his arms and the boys each turned a different shade of red. His dark eyebrow was raised high up his forehead, waiting in a completely impatient patient way.

"I'm sorry," they announced clearly and collectively. Severus nodded sharply and turned on his heel, a smug smirk painted on his pale lips as he sauntered away. Zabuza frowned deeply and looked back at the thoroughly chastened boys.

Yes, the man had to have used magic.

(**)

The End

So… I guess that lesson in stealth didn't go as planned, huh?