Chapter Six

After a while Elliot was sure Olivia had cried herself to sleep. He tried to get up but she was lying on his arm. He slowly lifted her so he could get up. He walked back out to his living room to talk to Rebecca. She was on the phone. By the sound of things, they needed her to come back to work.

"No… I can't. I told you, I need personal time. No, I haven't used any yet and I need to take time off now…" Elliot tapped her shoulder and she whipped around, "Hold on," she said putting her hand over the phone and turning to Elliot.

"She can stay here, I'll watch her."

"Elliot, I'm not sure that's such a good idea…" she said hesitantly.

"Why not?"

"Well, I know what happened you and I, well, I-"

"She's already asleep, and when she wakes up it'll give us some time to talk," he said almost pleadingly.

"Alright," Dr. Hendrix said returning to the phone, "I'll come in now, but I need the liberty of taking time off when I need it. Just put me on call, but I really will need to use my vacation time…"

Elliot thought about what he would say while Rebecca continued to talk on and on. What if it really wasn't a good idea? He could say something wrong. She's already traumatized enough and he could end up making it worse. Sometime while Elliot was deep in thought, Rebecca waved goodbye and left for work; still on the phone.

Elliot went back into the bedroom to lie down on the bed next to Olivia. After one more "I'm sorry" he fell asleep next to her. Olivia woke up to a slight pressure on her stomach. She didn't open her eyes and she tried not to panic. She had to know what was on her-who was on her. It couldn't be 'him' again. Not now.

calm down, Olivia she told herself. She calmed enough to hear his breathing; soft, gentle, quiet. It was Elliot. She knows Elliot's breathing after working and being his best friend for seven or eight years. She knew it after adoring him for eight years. Knew it after loving him for eight years. She knows every sound he makes. He was an instant comfort. She's always comfortable around him. There's something about Elliot Stabler that makes any woman feel safe. He's a protector. Everything in his life is about protecting the women or kids in his life. It's what he does. He has four kids, three of them are daughters, and his now-ex-wife, Kathy, and now he has Olivia, but there is one more thing that makes Olivia feel even more protected. It's his respect for her. He allows her to be independent. He treats her as an equal. He not only guards her life, but he gives and protects her freedom. That's what she needs protected. Her independence, self worth, self confidence. Her pride is also important. She takes pride in her ability to get on by herself. He gives her space. She loves that.

Now that she thinks about it, she can no longer take pride in not needing anyone else because from the moment she met Elliot Stabler, she knew she couldn't live without him. She also noticed how he's the only one she ever lets her guard down around. She does it a lot more now. The worst part is he is starting to give her too much space. Letting his protection over her fall. That is her fault. She keeps pushing him away causing him to push away, too. Since this- fight, they've been floating farther apart. She needs him to understand. As much as she wants her independence, she needs him to be there. When they work a case, they share everything. Thoughts; the good, the bad, the stress… they share everything.

He's her shoulder to cry on- not literally, though. Olivia takes pride in another thing; her strength. Emotional and physical. Olivia Benson doesn't cry. There are only a few exceptions to that rule- that law she lives by. Those few times, he's always been there to help. He catches her, breaks her fall, picks up the pieces but lets her put them back together. That's what is- was- so perfect about their relationship. They know when to help even if the other says they don't want or need it. They also know where to drop it. Give each other space. They're the two halves that make up a whole. They've always been in sync with each other. Just, not anymore. Olivia and Elliot both wished for that to come back. More than anything. More than anything.