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Chapter 17

Once the tears stopped Ichigo simply stood there. He felt emotionally drained. He just felt tired; he was tired of the stress and worry. It all just needed to be over. He wanted Shiro to finally be gone so he could live the life he wanted, the one with Toshiro.

"Ichigo, are you alright?" The voice made Ichigo jump. He looked to his left and saw Byakuya standing there, giving him a worried look. Ichigo gave him a barely perceptible nod. "Well I'm done speaking with Toshiro, if you want to go back in. I'm going to step outside and make some calls, so if you have any need for me, I will be here." Byakuya told him, still giving him that look.

"Really Byakuya, I'm fine." Byakuya gave him a nod, before turning away. "Wait, Byakuya?" Ichigo asked, the older man turned and tilted his head in answer to Ichigo. "What's going to happen? You know with Shiro?" He asked nervously, maybe something good could come out of this, if it meant Shiro could be put in jail.

Byakuya studied Ichigo for a second before asking. "Well it's hard to say right now. As of the moment we have no leads to help us find Shiro. And even if we did, we can only charge him on assault and battery." He told Ichigo.

"And what would that mean, like punishment-wise?" Ichigo asked, feeling hopeful that Shiro could at least be put away for a long time.

"Well, he would definitely be fined for hospital bills and such. Most likely there will be jail time. That, however, could be a little as six months to at most a few years. And that all depends on the courts and the lawyers." Byakuya kept eye contact with Ichigo the whole time. Ichigo inclined his head in thanks, already lost in his own thoughts. He barely noticed the man leave and walk down the hallway.

Ichigo walked back into Toshiro's hospital room feeling something akin to despair. The punishment for what he did would only be temporary relief and then he would be back in Ichigo's life, causing pain for everyone. He couldn't let that happen, he wouldn't. Thanks to Toshiro, Ichigo now felt that the life he had now was worth living. He had to protect Toshiro and that life. The more Ichigo thought about it, the more his resolve hardened. He had to finally face his past, face Shiro. Ichigo knew Toshiro wouldn't like his plan, but it was something he had to do.

"Ichigo, you alright?" The question came from the small man in the bed. Now not only was Ichigo making Byakuya worried, he was worrying Toshiro. He paused, reigning in his thoughts, there was only one way to protect Toshiro from this and as much as it broke Ichigo's heart, it was necessary. If Toshiro knew that Ichigo was going to Shiro, he would protest. Ichigo couldn't let that happen; Shiro had already hurt Toshiro before. If Toshiro got caught again between Ichigo and Shiro, it would be deadly.

"Actually Toshiro, it isn't." Ichigo began. Toshiro looked at him a bit shocked. "I don't think that we should be together anymore." Ichigo said, doing his best to keep eye contact, even though his heart was physically aching. Toshiro continued to stare at him, hurt but as Ichigo watched, the hurt blended into understanding.

"It's alright Ichigo. I know you're just saying this because I got hurt. Don't worry. I'll be fine and Shiro will be put away. It's all going to work out Ichigo." The smile Toshiro gave him made the pain magnify. Of course Toshiro wouldn't believe him. He knew Ichigo too well. But Ichigo had to face Shiro once and for all and to do that he needed to know Toshiro was safe. Ichigo now knew he would have to hurt the man he loved to finally stop Shiro. He could almost hear the albino laughing in his mind, no matter what happened Toshiro seemed bound to get hurt. Either by Ichigo or Shiro.

"No. Toshiro, what Shiro told you," This earned Ichigo a gasp, and a look of shock. "Yes, I heard Byakuya and you talking. What Shiro said, it's true. I belong to him."

The other man was immediately angry. "No you don't! He's basically tortured you over the years Ichigo! He's brainwashed you!" Toshiro cried his teal eyes filled with angry tears. "And now that he's threatening me-" he began, but Ichigo interrupted him, with one simple phrase that he knew would be the only thing to stop Toshiro.

"I love him!" Ichigo barely suppressed his shudder of revulsion from saying that. His heart was screaming at him that he was lying. The look in Toshiro's eyes didn't help him either. The anger was gone, replaced by pain and sadness. "I-I want to go back." The words were choked now. Ichigo knew it was from the pain of lying to Toshiro, but he could only imagine what Toshiro thought of it.

There was a pause as both men tried to gather themselves. "So what was I?" Toshiro whispered, jerking Ichigo's head up.

"I- I don't know." Ichigo began. This was going much further than he had predicted. He never wanted to hurt Toshiro, but this just seemed like too much. Toshiro wouldn't even look at him. Ichigo reached out to touch Toshiro's hand, "I'm so sorry-"

Just as their hands would have touched, Toshiro jerked his hand back. "Don't touch me." He hissed, the tears on his face breaking Ichigo's heart even more. But he nodded and moved to leave. Just as he was to the doorway, Toshiro spoke again. "I never want to see you again." Ichigo felt the remainder of his heart shatter and if he hadn't been driven by the desire to protect Toshiro, he would have crumbled then and there.

Ichigo kept his back to the man who he loved, the man whose heart he just broke, so he wouldn't see the tears falling. As Ichigo left the hospital he felt the tears dry. In their place was his determination. He would stop Shiro no matter what it took.


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