Mad as a Hatter
Aboard the Drink-Me-Bottle Express
Annie was stuck in the bottle for quite some time.
Sitting in a bottle with your body shrunk to the size of a key gets boring after a while.
She sighed and gave up trying to keep herself entertained. "How will I ever get out of this bottle!?" Annie tried standing up but was knocked back down by a little ripple. Of course she's too small that even a tiny wave felt a hundred times bigger.
Annie pushed her hair out of her eyes and stood up again with a huff, only to get knocked over again by a bigger ripple. It was almost as if the ocean was playing with her. Annie was just about ready to give up.
There was no hope at all! What could little Annie do with such a small body! Everyone and everything was a hundred times taller and bigger than she was. Even when she remembered having a bigger body, she still felt small (Remember she only turned 7 this day)
Annie let her thoughts poison her mind and spread through her body when she slapped herself for even thinking such dreadful things.
"No Annie! You must think! You MUSN'T give up!" She boxed her ear so hard that the corners of her eye started watering. Annie wiped her eyes with her sleeve and spotted land with a squeal of delight.
"Well I suppose I'll have to try and get out of this bottle first." Not even the nearly impossible challenge seemed to dampen her spirits. Annie tried scalling the slippery glass bottle, only to slide back down with her head first. She tried again to climb with a running start but only resulted in the same thing over and over again.
"Oh dear…." Annie pouted. "What shall I do?"
It wasn't that observing small birds that couldn't fly and little mice that rode on the backs of sliver fishes, weren't entertaining. Actually, it was. It was so, that Annie thought of a little poem while watching the strange animals. Annie giggled at the little bird who fell, trying to keep airborne. "I might be mistaken, but doesn't that bird look very much like a Dodo." She put her finger on her chin.
Annie knew this because during her class field trip they arrived at a museum and there was a very fat stuffed toy of a big grey bird perched by the entrance. Annie tried taking it home saying that someone lost their doll and she needed to return it to them. But of course her teacher lost her temper and sent her home without going through the gift shop.
"Well at least this bird isn't lost." She said to herself. (All thought of land fluttered away from her mind) "Oh look!" She pointed to the bird. The grey bird tried to flap its wings but landed down with a splash. "It can't fly!" She laughed.
The strange little bird that couldn't fly spotted Annie and decided she would make a very tasty treat. If Annie did think logically, she would have found it odd for a bird to wear a waistcoat and carry an odd looking stick. But alas, this was one of her many charms and therefore: did not think it an odd attire for a bird. If rabbits can wear waistcoats, I don't see why birds can't. She reasoned to herself.
It spread its wings and fluttered over to Annie's bottle. Though it did so quite ungracefully and landed on the mouth of the bottle almost tipping it over. Annie screamed "Ahh!" The bid squawked in the bottle's mouth trying to peck Annie.
"You look like a very delicious worm!" He said maliciously. The bird pecked deeper. "Hey! Come back here!"
Annie with her back against the side of the bottle, only barely managed to evade his beak. "Stop that! Ouch!" Annie screamed again.
The two played a very peculiar game of tag. The bird stretched his head all over the bottle and Annie screamed trying to evade it.
The bird squawked louder and louder. Annie slipped in a small puddle of water and the bird pulled on her hair. Annie almost cried and desperately flailed her arms. "I. AM. NOT. A. WORM!" Annie punched the bird's beak with every ounce of power she had. The bird recoiled with a pained squawk. "HEY!"
Annie wasn't finished. She delivered the final blow: "Ow!" He jumped into the air holding his bottom. "My beautiful feathers!" He looked to his bottom with a tear in his eye and turned to fly away. (Rather, flapping its wings and walking on water.)
Annie sighed and sat back down with a look of triumph in her face. She held a big grey feather that was several heads taller than she was and let it lean on the side of the bottle.
Now after a few minutes she remembered. "Ahh! I lost it!" She squinted trying to locate the stretch of land she saw moments ago. "Sigh….." There was really no reason to say 'sigh', it was just one of the few odd things she did.
"What to do… What to do…." Annie paced around the bottle deep in thought. "Ahh! I could use this feather and fly across…." Her face lit with cheer but faded almost instantly. "Oh, I have no string to tie myself with…. No. That won't do….. Ahhh! What to do!" She stamped her foot in frustration and found her world tipped upside down.
The bottle tipped over and Annie drowned in the sweet tasting water. She chocked and had a moments thought before she blacked out: Hmmmm this water's delicious!