A is for Apple
"You know something, Minerva?"
"Certainly I do. Is that so extraordinary?"
"No, that's not what I meant!"
"Sarcasm is my specialty. Now what would you like me to tell you?"
"How do you manage to drive me up the wall every time we have a conversation?"
"Not literally, I hope."
"…er…well, as I was just saying…I wonder why gravity made an apple fall on Sir Isaac Newton's head?"
"Because that's the way Muggle science works?"
"Muggle science?"
"Well…yes."
"It must have ruined his perfectly coiffed hairdo, that's what I'm making a point of."
"How very vain of you to think so, Albus."
"How so?"
"Sir Isaac Newton just needed a smart rap on his head to get a move on with figuring out something he was stuck on for months."
"See, I probably need that whenever I play chess with you, Minerva."
"You flatter me."
"Do I?"
"Either you do or you annoy me to hell and back."
"Ah. So…"
"How fortunate I am to have a delicious looking apple right here that I can…"
-whack-
"OUCH! MINERVA!"
"That felt nice, didn't it?"