Hola, here's your long awaiting part two.
Now that we're all caught up I thought that I could update this. Otherwise there'd have been too many spoilers.
It's the same time as when Naomi was with Effy in that hotel. So you've got a bit of a timeline.
Have and drop me a thought, always like to hear what you're thinking. Oh right, this is the story how EMily managed to fuck up everything, so dont expect her to suddenly become the hero or anything. Won't happen. It'll just explain when and where and how...
:)
"I need a shower." Bex groaned. With her body feeling as heavy as fucking bricks she was laying on Emily's bed, hoping to die. Her mouth hurt, her jaw hurt, her lips hurt, her bones hurt and she felt like she couldn't move a muscle if her life depended on it. On top of it all, after a night full of jaw chewing and word vomit she and Emily have spent, she wished for sleep. Yeah, dream on, she thought bitterly. "Uh." Was Emily's unenthusiastic response.
The twin was resting square across the bed, her head placed where her legs would usually be but they were thrown over Bexes' as the other girl lay normally, vertically. "Cant sleep, so sweaty." Bex elaborated, opening her eyes which were only closed because her body wanted to sleep yet her traitorous mind wouldn't let her. She moved them to the clock on top of Emily's dresser. "It's noon Emily."
With a groan, Emily fought her dead body weight and sat up, bringing her hands to her pounding head. "I wanna die, shoot me please."
A tired chuckle came from Bex as she moved into a sitting position, placing her head on Emily's bend knees. "I hate the 'morning after', fucking hate it, don't I. I'm never taking any shit again. Never again."
The thing with speed, coke, MDMA, or even XTC was that you felt like complete shit when you came back down from your high. If you don't down smoke yourself down with weed, you'll end up feeling like a train ran you over, fully awake. It's exhaustion in its most horrible form. Every hang over is better than not being able to sleep after nights of pills and powder. "I cant believe you don't have any weed, you always need an emergency Spliff for a situation like this one."
Rolling her tired eyes, Emily opened and closed her cotton mouth a couple times, licking her chopped lips before dry swallowing something that wasn't even there she was convinced. "I'm not a stoner."
"Yeah, but a raver and everyone knows that you need to smoke yourself down afterwards." Pushing Bexes' head lightly Emily made her fall backwards on the bed, the other girl had no energy to fight the gravity. "I get paranoid, just like Katie. But what ever go take shower and stop annoying me." With that the twin placed her feet on the cool wooden floor and sighed as she heaved herself upwards, stumbling a bit. "Just leave me alone."
She went to the kitchen and hoped Bex fucked off so she could feel like shit on her own. Without someone staring at her pitifully because she had said way too much about her past, exposing herself fully to this stranger.
Of course she regretted it now.
Making coffee she sat on top of the kitchen table and lit a fag, hating the taste everything carried. She couldn't sleep, and flopping down on the couch to watch stupid TV while she's in the eyes-closed-wide-awake-trance state wasn't as much fun when Bex stayed. But it was exactly what she was planning to do as soon as the blonde bitch left her house.
Hearing the shower go off Emily groaned and reached for her house phone, just wanting to see if someone called and if she had somewhere to be. Her eyes widened when Effy's name blinked wildly at her, two missed calls.
What was worse, Naomi's was there too, once.
And it was Emily blinking at the phone toatally motionless. When Bex returned about twenty minutes later, Emily's was still staring at the phone with her mind elsewhere. "That's a phone Hun, when you push a button you can hear people talk." The twin laughed despite herself, the girl was kinda funny. "Very funny. No, it's just...Naomi and Effy called, I wonder what they've wanted."
"I assume it's not common that they call just to say hi, huh?" Bex tone was cautious and she moved around until she was leaning on the counter in front of Emily. Getting herself a coffee she kept throwing glances at the twin as if she feared she'd lose it and start crying any minute.
"Haven't talked to them since Naomi told me about Effy's...uh..suicide attempt. I kinda went off on her, she had taken the kids without Katie's content and was about to kidnap them to Bristol. Told me what Effy's done and threatened me to never visit her. I guess I lost it. I haven't talked her ever since. I just know that she gave Katie the kids when my sister drove to Bristol to get them. Mum told me all about it."
"What?" Bexes' eyes almost fell out, shock written on her face. "Start talking, that's not making any sense."
Shaking her head, Emily smiled sadly and wiggled her fingers. "Another time. I think I'll call them back."
"You think they're together?"
"'fraid so...if their not, something bad's happened." The sad smile, the sad eyes and her looking so tiny in that huge shirt she was wearing made Bex move forwards. She placed her hands on the table beside Emily's bottom. Trapping her. Without any hesitation she leaned down and kissed her gently, a kiss which didn't ask for more, didn't try to take things further, no. It was a kiss meant to only show her that she wasn't destined to for ever stay as miserable.
Sighing contently, Emily admitted to herself that she enjoyed the closeness and Bex being that tender at the correct moments. She moved her hand to her long hair and ran her fingers through it, forgetting the world and everything what's fucking it up for one moment before Effy's blue eyes popped into her head.
Like every time she kissed someone else.
Deepening the kiss Emily tried to move past it, but as always, another pair of blue eyes appeared and made her flinch away. "Sorry. I really need to see what's going on." She pecked Bexes' cheek once and jumped off the table, dialling the number she knew by heart.
"Hey Eff, are you okay? Sorry I haven't looked at the phone earlier." She smiled at Bex and walked to the balcony for some privacy.
It wasn't often that she got a call from either of them, even Katie didn't find it necessary to check on her and see if she's coping or alive. Her sister hated her.
She knew it wasn't her place to demand anything from either of them but it hurt. Knowing that Effy and Naomi had found their way back into each others life somehow, knowing that Katie was moving on, knowing that Effy was making progress.
It should make her happy but there was this tiny voice in her head that was always a bit louder when she had had a bad day. It told her that they could and did move on, that they were having a life no matter who was in it or who wasn't, they were living not simply alive.
And they were functioning some way or another perfectly fine without her. That bit was always clenching her heart and had her grit her teeth so she wouldn't cry.
Her mum had told her all about them, always felt the need to update her on the girls.
"Emily dear, have you met Katie's new girlfriend? Such a lovely girl, honey, she is simply wonderful. I am so glad that our little Katie got over that blonde devil, can you believe that she's got the nerve to give me cheek? After everything she's done? How dare she? I guess I don't have to get upset about her any more, now that Katie's finally found true love."
"How can you even say that mother?" Emily had asked with a gob smacked expression, clutching the phone. "You love Naomi."
"I admit that I have been quite fond of her but that's changed darling, how can I feel the same about her now that she's hurt my baby again?"
"She hasn't."
"Emily, I know that you're mad at your sister for something trivial I assume, but that's really not a reason to" "NO mother! For fuck's sake just listen before you get all anti Naomi again." When she had Jenna's reluctant attention, the mother was dying to know the reason for everything after each of the girls had obviously decided to let her in the dark about it, Emily sighed and lit a new fag, staring off into her black telly screen. "Naomi's done nothing wrong, she hasn't left Katie, she never would." "But that doesn't make any sense! She'd be home if that were true, not crashing at Effy's." There was a clear edge to her tone that had to show Emily how she wasn't okay with her daughter's decision to leave the brunette.
"We'll talk about Effy afterwards mum. It'll start make sense I promise. But you have to promise to hear me out before you freak out." When she did promise Emily explained what had happened. "I don't want to get into it too much but Naomi was protecting me. She had tried to give me time so I would get my shit back together, but it backfired. Because of me. I fell in love with her, mum. Cant tell you when it's happened but I have and it was slowly killing all of us. Effy had known from the start, of course she has, she's Effy, and she was fighting for us but I couldn't cope. I wouldn't find a fucking way to get over her mum, it was horrible. I had no idea how to deal with it, Naomi was everywhere. Mum, our lives where tied so fucking tightly together that there wasn't a week where I wouldn't see or talk to her. To make it worse I got the job in London. I thought I was being stealthy you know? But I weren't. Naomi knew and she...mum she was disgusted by me. You have no idea how it hurt to have her look at me with so much hatred and venom and disgust. It broke my heart. Then, one time I've kissed her and"
"Emily stop." She heard Jenna's sharp voice, the one she had only used when they had done something truly dangerous as children. "Naomi left her home, she left Katie and she lives with your ex girlfriend now. Neither of them belongs to the other, Christ, they are not supposed to be okay without you girls. But they are. Naomi's career is really exploding right now, she's got a new deal with some huge companies to translate huge best-sellers and read them for audio books. It's her step into the big publishing's world. She's bought a Mercedes, Emily. Instead of helping Katie with the bills she's went and got a posh car."
"But mum that's great! You should be happy that she's doing well"
"No I shouldn't. And what about Effy? I love that girl to death, you know that and that's why it always hurts to talk to her and hear how she's getting better and on with her life even though you are not in it. Sometimes I wonder if they even have truly loved you the way they promised. It shouldn't be that easy to move on, should it?"
"Katie is doing exactly the same thing and you're all over the moon."
"Katie is my daughter and she is hurt. She needs someone in her life to get it back together and the girl is really lovely and so smitten with your sister. It's refreshing to see someone adore her the way Ashley does. I'm used to seeing a sulking, annoyed girl always shooting daggers at Katie, it's been that way from the start and that girl, she is simply in love with Katie. Of course I am happy for her. How could I not?"
Emily sighed, obviously her mother didn't know how Katie and Naomi's relationship had worked so well for so long. They weren't people just in love, they loved with teeth and claws. They yelled, fought, cried, loved, smiled, and loved so fucking much Emily had always wished she'd have that. "If you say so mother."
"I am, and I think that you should be more supportive."
"Have you listened to a word I said earlier?"
"Of course, I just refuse to acknowledge that piece of stupidity."
When Emily came back to the kitchen Bex was already half dressed, sipping on her coffee with a curious expression. "What'd they want?"
She rubbed her forehead, a scowl on her face, and sat down opposite of the blonde. "They were out in some town. Rented a room, Effy said she needed to take Naomi's mind off of things."
"Because of Katie?"
"No, apparently Naomi's best friend died not long ago. Ginia died." There was a stunned look on Emily's face, she had had no idea. Suddenly her face contorted and she lost all colour, paling visibly. "Oh god, she must be...dying."
"Naomi love, you and I, your bedroom, right now." Emily demanded with a mocking glare, pointing towards the pub's stairs she walked up, leaving the flabbergasted blonde behind the bar. Naomi shook her head and took another order, brought a tray of pints to four tables and told her mum she'd have her break now.
She didn't listen to her mum's protests, instead she took two steps at a time and panted when she reached her bedroom, finally. "What...what's wrong?" Her eyes were unfocused and wild, moving around the room as she feared the worst. Emily smiled and patted the huge bed, where she had gotten quite used to hanging out on. She bombarded the blonde with questions she couldn't hold inside any more. "Girlfriend? You have a girlfriend? Naomi...what the fuck? How I mean, why haven't you...you should've said something. You have a girlfriend!"
"Oh." Nodding the blonde lit a fag and stared through the smoke at a confused Emily, patting her thigh. "Ginia. Right." Was her nonchalant response, it had Emily's eyes almost bulge out.
"Explain? I mean, correct me if I'm wrong but I was pretty sure my sister was your current girlfriend." "And she is." The blonde smiled, her blue eyes calm now that she knew what it was all about. "I've been with Ginia for a fucking eternity. To be honest, when I met Katie I forgot all about her."
"But"
"I know, that's shitty. Never said I am not shitty." She blew the smoke out in circles, winking at Emily with a cheeky expression. "We have an open relationship, kinda. Well, it's just that we can do whatever we want but when she's back, things have to be the way they were before she left."
"How very Marina of you."
"Huh?" Blue eyes, so confused, watched Emily break out in giggles. "What's a Marina?"
"You're such a baaaaad lesbian. Keep going."
"No, tell me first why I'm a baaaaaaad lesbian." Crossing her arms, Naomi glared, bringing another wave of giggles out of Emily. Her lip's corners were twitching, she never could stay serious when the weird twin was around.
"All right, sulky. The l word, ring any bells?"
"You love me?" She pounced on Emily, straddling her in an over the top fashion as she cuddled into her. "Had I only known before, oh Emily, you very, very gay Fitch." They needed a couple minutes to stop laughing after that, and when they finally calmed down enough, Emily had explained what she meant with Marina and Naomi finally explained why she hadn't told Ginia about the new situation.
"I wasn't sure if Katie would call me, so I didn't see a reason to tell my girlfriend about a girl I met but wouldn't see again. Didn't make much sense. But then she did, and, I don't know. I guess I wanted to be sure she wanted me before I broke things off. It's a huge deal, breaking up with Ginia is. We're not just a open couple, Ems, she is all I ever loved and wanted. She is my person, my very own perfection of a dream girl. I had no idea Katie would make me forget all about her. I haven't really thought about Ginia in months, not when we started to take things further."
"You never took things not far. You've made my sister cum in the bright daylight after meeting her for the first time."
Grinning Naomi licked her lips, an almost proud expression on her lips. "I know. And I've kept doing that ever since." Emily's grimace and the disgusted shriek had made Naomi roll around the bed, laughing so hard she had to run to the bathroom and jump the toilette before she could had pissed herself.
"It's too much Bex, it must be killing Naomi. She knew her since she was a thirteen year old bitchy girl, it's fucking huge. I don't think a worse thing could had happened to her. Her uncle just died not long ago, but for her losing Ginia must be living through hell." Bex didn't know how to act. It was weird hearing someone you just met tell you that someone you never knew was mourning because someone you had no idea had existed had died. "You knew her well?"
"Kinda, well as well as we all have. She was sometimes there, then she was gone again. She was a traveller, Ginia was. Always on the move, always seeing new places and living with new cultures. But when she was there, she was there. I had a fight with her once we didn't get on well, but we didn't not get on either. I knew her enough to be shocked if you know what I mean." Stopping her rambling, Emily rubbed her forehead again, smiling when she saw Bex fix up some new lines for them. Very grateful, she snorted as much as she could without having to clean her nose first.
"That's some good stuff. Your ex is pretty amazing, I don't think that my ex would have brought me drugs when I was with another girl."
"Yeah, she's amazing. But we're here to talk about you, not me. So lets talk. Tell me what else happened." Slapping Emily's arse on her way to the lines Bex grinned, her dimples making the brunette smile. She was kinda cute.
"What you want to know?"
"How about Effy's suicide attempt and how you beat up Naomi?"
Rolling her eyes, Emily wiped her red nose and threw her head back, waiting for the powder to run down her throat. "Apparently, my sister had a go at Effy and made her jump off a bridge in Bristol. Naomi was furious, she was with Effy until the first surgeries were done and then, well she went to London, to Effy and hers flat to bring some stuff. She made a quick stop at my sister's, ruined her stoned trip and then she came to me. I had the kid for the weekend. She demanded she'd take them back with her to Bristol. Everything was fine, but then she told me about Effy. I had no idea. She explained everything, but then, then she said I shouldn't visit her and I snapped. She said so many mean things, blamed me for her trying to kill herself, and then I punched her. I actually beat the shit out of her and she didn't even try to defend herself. I think after my sister found a new girlfriend, Effy's trying to off herself, and everything around, she wanted to get punched. She was enjoying it and me too, too much. Bence came out of the car and made me stop, thankfully. I don't know if I'd have stopped otherwise. She was such a bitch and I was such an emotional wreck. During that time, when she was in Bristol she must've met Ginia. All I know is that she hasn't been back in London since. Or that's what I thought. My mum told me once that Naomi is now living in some bedsit in Bristol, proper mourning. That girl said she saw Naomi and Effy on Camden's High-street two weeks ago, so perhaps she's been here, but I don't think she was back home since she and Katie separated."
Bex took Emily's hand, their cups, and pulled the girl along to the sitting room where they got comfortable on the couch. She placed the brunette's legs across her own, massaging them absently as they shared a fag. "That's fucked up, all of it is. Why cant you just be happy? All of you?"
The twin shrugged, unable to answer that seemingly easy question. "I guess...you know what makes us special? Our specis?"
"Our brain?"
"No, no even Neanderthals were fucking clever. Had to endure day long preaches from Naomi when I made a remark that a stupid bloke behaved like a Neanderthal. Obviously they were fucking smart and our forbears. No, what makes us special, now, are our emotions. Right now, the difference between us and the other animals on this planet is our self-destructibility. In contray to what people assume, we are out for self-destruction. Every war, every fight, every heartache starts with love. We act through what we feel and, there can be as many fucking bro and sis' codes as stars, we will always be pulled towards what we love with no way to stop it. That's what's happened. I couldn't fight it, and believe me I've tried. So long and hard but in the end, the animalistic instinct, to have her, won and ruined everything. Because in the end, in the end we follow our fucking heart even though we know it'll fuck up everything, there's this tiny bit of hope, the 'what if' that we cant function without trying."
Bex sighed and nodded with a thoughtful expression, making sense out of Emily's rambling. "It's still fucked up, I wished you were happy."
"I was. I was so fucking happy I couldn't get enough of the world. I've had an amazing family, mates, nephew, a job I hated and an breathtaking girlfriend I've loved since school. My sister was happy, she had found the girl of her dreams and turned out to be Naomi's dream girl as well and everything was just fucking amazing. It were too good, I think. The problem is, too much has to happen for me to be happy again. I'd need to get Effy back, which is ridiculous, she'd never take me back after what I did. Katie and Naomi would need to figure a way out to be together again and the worst thing, I think the most impossible one? I'd have see Naomi as nothing else except for a mate and my sister in law. And that's where the problem lies. I've no idea if things could ever be okay again, if I'd ever stop being stupid when she's around. Even if I tried, would I still hold those feelings and only suppress them because I know what they did once before? Naomi would always wonder and she'd be suspicious, with every right to do so. Effy, would Effy ever trust me fully around Naomi again? Would it break their friendship completely? Could Katie let me back into her life without observing every look I give Naomi? There's no way we all could have what we want, and be together."
There was a weird look on Bexes' face and suddenly she bounced upwards, grasping Emily's arms excitedly. "You don't have to. Just go back to Effy, and leave Naomi to fix things with you sister."
"Right. And then?"
"And then you stay out of their life. You'll be happy with Effy and you'll be distanced enough not to butt in into their relationship. That's the idea Emily." She was practically beaming at the hesitating twin. "You could be happy again."
"What makes you think Effy would give me another chance?"
"What you said. Everything you told me about Effy and how she's reacted to everything screams just how much she loves you. I don't think she's able to live without you."
"But she is. She does."
"Barley."
Biting her lip Emily looked to the wall at a framed picture of her Effy. It was huge and they were out on a fancy dress party. Effy was wearing nothing but a button down shirt, her sleeves rolled up, and had a fake gun (Mr. And Mrs. Smith style), her hair was huge and she was smirking at a barley dressed Emily who was wearing a skin tight Lara Croft suit. It was a Hollywood themed party and they had decided to dress as Angelina Jolie in her diverse roles. They must have been about twenty back then, she couldn't remember much of the party but that picture was amazing and they were looking at each other so intently that she had to put it up everywhere she lived. It was a mix between abiding love and earth shattering lust, their expressions were. "How could I ever expect her to trust me again?"
That was the true problem.
Emily thought that Effy might even take her back if she only tried hard enough, but what then? Could they really start again where they had left off? Was it possible? Their relationship had been solid and build on the knowledge that no matter what was happening, how much they were getting on each others nerves and throats, they had fun and knew they loved one another. That was something they had never doubted, how would that work?
"So Effy knew about you and Naomi from the start?"
"I think so."
Emily was working late and she had stopped long ago to pretend that she didn't hate every fucking customer that decided two PM was the perfect time for a snack and pint. She was glaring at every new crowd of teenagers marching in with drunken smiles and slurring words.
The next group of people came in and they were so fucking loud she had to take a calming breath. Sleep was something she hadn't had much of lately and there was definitely something something wrong with Effy, so having another group of loud, obnoxious wannabe hipsters was something she could really pass out on. Turning her head to give the loudest a piece of her mind Emily raised her brows in amusement.
On the counter, steadied on her elbows, was Naomi.
She sported that drunken lopsided grin she always wore after reaching certain level of intoxication, her blue eyes shining. Seeing the huge saucer like pupils had Emily knowing exactly why she was so happy. "Hello Naomi, you're looking good. Hope you've had fun tonight, tomorrow will be a right bitch."
Pointing a swaying finger at something close to Emily's head with narrowed, awfully concentrated eyes Naomi smirked. "You better not be talking about your sister, Ems or I'll have to protect her honour."
"That right?"
"Yup. I'd march up to you and challenge you in fencing."
"Fencing?"
"Uh huh. That's what knights do Emily." Shaking her head, as if she was disappointed that Emily didn't know that, Naomi sighed.
Giggling the twin smiled at the clearly off her face girl and handed her a shot of Tequila. "Awe, thank you Ems, you always know what a drunk Naomi needs." She downed it, grimacing like never before, then she shuddered. "Buh, that's disgusting. Can I have another one please?"
Recovering from her laughing fit, Emily filled up four more shots and shared them, expertly with Naomi. "YAY! Ems' drinking! Nancy, come on I wanna intro..intru..int...come meet a girl." Another wave of giggles rippled through Emily as she watched Naomi swaying, yelling at the top of her lungs so some girl dancing by the jukebox would listen. "NANCY!"
She rolled her eyes and turned back to Emily, grinning. "She's well stupid, every time she has more than five pints she's turning into this sex-opsessed dapper trying to shag every bloke and girl that's not out of her reach fast enough." Pondering over something Naomi's eyes widened and she shook her head vehemently. "NO! Emily I'd never do that."
She knew what Naomi had thought about but it was more fun to watch her make a tit out of herself. "Yeah? What? I don't think I can read your mind yet."
"Well...you know." A pointing look, with a raised brow which looked like she was a having a stroke as she nudged her head towards the ground (Emily would never find out why she was doing that) was her elobaration.
"What? The floor?"
"No Emily." Sighing she pushed herself up on her elbows and almost lost her balance but Emily's hands were already steadying her. When she was close enough she almost swallowed the twin's ear while loudly whispering, and spitting into it. "I never cheat on Katie."
"I'm certainly glad to hear that."
"Yeah, no. Never. Like, why would I right?"
"Right."
"She's just so perfect and she makes me laugh. I like that she makes me laugh."
"That's really good Naomi."
"And she's always yelling, that makes me laugh as well. She gets all red and her vein starts popping out so I always pretend not to laugh any more. But I do because she's cute."
"Right."
"And then when she's reeeeally angry, she slams me against the next best surface and fucks my brains out."
Looking awfully proud of herself, Naomi raised her brows, awaiting Emily's excitement about that but her face fell when the twin's face was set in a grimace. "Don't look like that. You'll be all wrinkly. You should be happy for me."
"Well, I'm glad you're getting some."
"Some?" Laughing the place down Naomi clutched her sides and sat on top of the bar counter, making Emily's eyes search the bar for the manager but he was out of sight. "Ems! You crack me up you old joker you. She's so fucking eager I sometimes pretend that I have to pee only so I can catch a breath." Something made her backtrack hastily. "Oh, but I never do that so she stops. I go back and keep going where we've left of, so don't think I'm some prude and your sister dries out."
Brown eyes couldn't widen more if they tried, and Emily was really trying not to shudder. "Uh..well, hm, that's, that's something Naomi."
"I know, right?" And then there was the laughter again, turning heads and making people smile at the clearly pissed girl. "Come on, lets go."
"What? Where?"
"Dunno, lets get burgers."
"But everything's closed."
"Not McDonald's, no. So come on."
"I'm working."
And Naomi didn't care.
She jumped off the counter, to Emily's side and was pushing her towards the door. The twin managed to shout at her co-worker that she was being kidnapped and to stop Naomi, but the gay Jerry only waved at them and wished her fun, promising to cover for her.
Emily had never been that scared in her entire life.
Sitting behind Naomi on a scooter, in the middle of the night, with a drunk driving that death trap had her a tiny bit fearing for her life. "WOHOOOO!" Naomi's wild turning left had her almost fly off, but then they were off the road and on their way, slowly, up a hill. "Should we push?"
"No."
"But we'd be faster."
"Enjoy it."
"But"
"I said; Enjoy it."
"I'm bored Naomi."
"I'm enjoyable."
Shaking her head with a grin Emily decided to stop arguing as the blonde sounded utterly wounded by her pleas to walk.
When they reached the top, after ages, Emily jumped off the scooter and was fighting the helmet which seemed to be stuck. She heard laughter, open and so fucking amused laughter she'd have been pissed if it were someone else pointing at her, while almost rolling on the ground. "A hand please? Only when you finished laughing of course."
"You need my hand?" Wriggling her fingers Naomi's nose cringled. "Never pegged you for that kind of a girl, Ems. Had I only known you were into the twin thing, now it's too late." She went to work on the helmet after swatting away Emily's clumsy hands. "Too late to propose the idea to Katie now, she'll freak out. What would Effy say? You needing my hands to help you getting off?"
Her joke was hilirous, to Naomi, and she almost choked on her laughter when Emily's glaring face appeared after being freed of the helmet. "You're so funny."
"I know, I love it." Shushing Emily she grabbed the girl's hand and dragged her, literllay, towards the panorama. It's the huge hill you could see all of Bristol from the top of, and they called it the pano. "Isn't it amazing?"
"Yeah. But nothing I've never seen before. For that you've kidnapped me, great."
"Oi! Stop pouting Fitchy and get over here." In a matter of seconds Emily was tasting cherry lipstick and she closed her eyes, paralysed by the pleasure she felt. It was over too soon though and the probing tongue, she sadly understood, was only there to place a tiny pill on top of hers. Why she was sad, she didn't dare to question and opened her eyes hastily only to be met with a knowing smirk. "You liked that."
"Don't be daft."
"You liked it and you know it. What's up Emily? Got a taste of that magical equipment" She puckered her lips, "and couldn't get enough. Wait til I tell Effy." The glint in her eyes showed the twin that she was taking the piss but Emily couldn't understand why her blood was running cold all of a sudden. Fear crept up on her and she widened her eyes. "No, don't. It was nothing and Effy will only be sad because of nothing. Don't say anything Naomi, please don't."
Even in her drunken head Naomi realised that something was definitely wrong with Emily, so she put on her best sympatetic face and shook her head. "Don't worry, Em. It's fine. I know you were just playing along, all good yeah?"
"Yeah."
"I mean, how absurd would that be? And pretty fucking pathetic I'd say since I'm like, crazily obsessed by your sister."
"I know, right." A fake chuckle, so wrong to her own ears left Emily's lips and she stared out at the city. Asking herself what the fuck had happened just then.
She couldn't understand why her hand was shaking when Naomi took it to pull her to the ground on top of her leather jacket. Or why she left the vodka bottle for a bit longer on her lips after taking a big gulp.
But she knew that whatever it was, wasn't okay.
They were both too drunk to get Naomi's key into the lock and broke out in excited chatter when a pissed off looking Katie pulled them inside. "Pssh. Will you be quiet? Fuck's sake, Bence was awake for half the night and why the fuck are you here Emily?"
Her twin wobbled over to her and threw her hands around her sleepy sister, squeezing the daylights out of her. "I love you sooo much Kay, sooo much." Awkwardly patting the drunk twin's brunette head Katie's eyes locked on Naomi's, she raised a brow.
She hadn't expected Naomi to cough and start, very dramaticly, explain what had happened and why Emily was almost pissing herself of happiness at seeing Katie. "Your sister" She pointed, "was working at the pub we went to. I never knew that. We went to the pano and" "She kidnapped me." Mumbled Emily accusative, pointing at the grinning blonde. "Anyway, as I was saiyng before your evil twin interrupted me; We went to the pano and she was enjoying kissing me a bit too much if you know what I mean, then we drank loads of Vodka and Jägermeister I had in my bag and we got talking 'bout you baby. She loves you sooo much that she had to come here and tell you. So I brought her." Finishing with a proud smile and her arms stretched out wide, as if to say; see?, Naomi was almost tackled to the ground when a laughing Katie pounced on her. She was kissing every part of her face, hugging her close. "God, you're so fucking adorable."
"Uh no. Not adorable, Katie I'm sexy and really charming."
"Yeah, sure."
"No! Stop and tell me I'm sexy and charming."
Looking up, Katie bit her lip to stop herself from cooing and nodded, as serious as she could. "You're unbelievable sexy and surely I'll never meet anyone as charming as you are. Especially when you're drunk."
"Especially."
"That's what I said."
Turning to a closed eyed Emily Naomi shrieked, laughing. "That's what she said! Ha! Get it?"
"So funny." Effy's drawled yawn responded as she magically appeared out of nowhere, or from the threshold of the bedroom where she had been standing all the time. Pulling Emily into her arms she kissed her forehead and brown eyes opened to stare right into blue. Effy kissed her girlfriend, then looked at her again, almost as if she was trying to figure something out.
Raising both brows in astonishment Naomi formed an O with her lips. "Wow, Effy you're good. I've kissed Ems earlier giving her a pill."
But Effy shook her head and waved the lame explanation away, smiling genuinely at Naomi to show her that she shouldn't worry. Then her probing eyes were back on Emily who seemed to shrink with every passing second.
"You can take the sofa." Katie pointed at the thing. "Good night."
Bex was staring at Emily wide eyed. "This, this happened before they were moved in together?" The twin looked away, kinda ashamed by her own admission. "Wow, she so knew."
"I know."
But something about that memory had her fight tears and while she wiped her eyes discretely, Emily looked at a picture of herself with Katie making faces at the camera. She was missing her sister.
It was instinct, not a thought through decision when she picked up the phone and dialled the number she knew by heart. Katie picked up after about ten rings, breathing into the phone without saying anything. Her sister knew, it was her turn. She had to talk and she should be grateful that Katie had picked up at all.
"I miss you." Were the only words she could form while stopped fighting the tears and simply wiped them with the hem of her shirt. "I miss you so much Kay it breaks me every day."
But Katie didn't respond in the same way, there was only a deep sigh. "What do you want Emily?"
Their last meeting wasn't a good one, it was when Katie had been tripping badly and Naomi sent her on that horror trip. She had screamed at her cowering twin, accused her of wanting to kill Effy, telling her how much she despised her. In that moment she had done all that. But after some time apart and so much loneliness Emily couldn't help but miss that bitch of a sister she loved almost more than anything.
"Is today get on Katie's nerves day? Naomi and Effy have called last night too. Are you drunk?"
"No."
"But you're stoned."
"Well..listen Katie, I am so so sorry. I miss you too much to be banned from your life. Please, lets have a coffee and talk."
"I cant do that Em."
"But...but you're my sister. You cant ignore me forever."
"You sure about that? Fucking think, Emily. Think about what you've done to my life and tell me again that I cant ignore you forever. You've taken everything from me."
"I didn't take Naomi, god Katie I swear there was never anything between the two of us."
The shallow laugh, cutting her heart in half, made Emily cringe.
"I know that, you idiot. I never thought there was. If you still don't know what you've managed to screw up here don't bother calling again. Bye."
"Can I see the kids?" Emily rushed out before Katie could hang up on her, she heard her twin sigh again and she could picture her rub her forehead with a devastated expression. At least she hoped that she wasn't as indifferent as she sounded. "You were never forbidden to see them Emily. You are seeing them whenever you call Bence to set a date. Don't make me a monster I am not."
"I'm sorry."
"Right. I've gotta go. We're going to the zoo and then see a film."
"Is Naomi there?"
There was a pause and Emily knew that Katie was glaring now. "I didn't mean it like that, obviously. I was just...hoping that you made up."
"Well we haven't." Was spat through the line, the hatred chilling her blood. "She left. Don't act like you don't know. Haven't seen her since the day Ginia died three weeks ago. She's back in Bristol with your ex, or they're in some shabby hotel room. Not that it's any of your business. Oh, I almost forgot. Here I go all defensive again, why don't you just go and try your luck then? She's single, so fuck it and see if she can pretend you're me. You should give her some mdma first though, makes her lose all her morals."
"Katie please stop."
"Perhaps Effy's up for a threesome! Or I'll just fuck her, partner switch to its fullest."
"Why are you doing this?"
"Because I hate you Emily, I hate that I didn't eat you in mum's womb you parasite. You have my children live without their mum, I don't think that I can forgive you for that. And I haven't even started with my heart that you've broken."
"I thought you are having a new girlfriend and mum says you're moving on?"
"I'd say; how is moving on from Effy working out for you, but you wouldn't understand it. Didn't bother you to break her day by day a bit more for years."
"Wait, does that mean you're still loving Naomi?"
"Go to hell Emily."
"Katie wait! Just tell her and leave your girlfriend, she'll be fucking ecstatic to have you back you know that."
"You just don't get it, Ems, do you? Stay the fuck out of my life."
The line went dead and Emily sat motionless staring at the picture of her and her sister, her vision burred.
"I'm sorry." Bex whispered, carefully inching closer until she had her arms wrapped around the crying girl.