Disclaimer: All characters belong to Ryan Murphy and FOX.

A huge thanks to sandra-wfg for beta'ing this. She has a new Glee fic (Finchel, of course) that you should all go check out asap! It's called Invisible and you can find it on profile under the 'favorites' category. :-)

Author's Note at the bottom.

Chapter Five

Mixed Messages: Part Two

Today was going to be bad. Rachel could feel it in every inch of her body. She woke up late and only had a half an hour before she had to be at school. She also forgot to take her anxiety meds and knew that it would upset both of her fathers. On top of that, she had to go to Kurt's tonight which meant she had a great chance of seeing Finn.

As Rachel thought about the implications of tonight, she felt someone tap on her shoulder. She turned around and suppressed a gasp. Finn was standing right before her.

"Finn?" She asked and wondered briefly if she was daydreaming again.

He stared everywhere except her face. "Hi, Rachel."

She tightened her arms around her English book that pressed against her chest. She could feel her heart beating quickly and sweat on her forehead. She hadn't been this close to Finn in a long time and she didn't feel comfortable.

"Did you need something?" She stuttered.

He scratched the back of his neck. "I just…well Kurt wanted to know if you were still, um, still coming over tonight?"

"Will you be there?" The words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them. She cringed and looked down at the floor.

He stopped scratching his head and his arms folded together across his chest. "What does that matter to you?" His voice was monotone – no trace of emotion.

Turn around and walk away. Turn around and walk away. Turn around and walk away! Her mind screamed at her.

"Well, if you will be there, then no, I won't come over. You made it clear – you need your space," she replied with the same monotone voice.

He glared at her. "So you're just going to ditch Kurt?"

She could feel anger growing in her. Of course she didn't want to ditch Kurt. But she knew he would understand why she chose to not come over – he made it a point to constantly tell her that he was on her side and not, "my stupid step-brother's" side.

"Of course I'm not going to ditch Kurt. What kind of person do you think I am?" She asked angrily. Her legs were trembling and she could feel her face turning red.

"Oh, I don't know. A cheater, a liar, and a hypocrite – those are just a few to name," Finn muttered.

Rachel stopped shaking and finally had the courage to look up at his face. His mouth was set into a hard line and his eyes blazed down at her. Rachel bit her lip. She had to get out of here. Without another word, she ran past Finn and straight to the girl's bathroom.

Sitting in the stall, Rachel put her head into her hands and cried. She hated the effect he had on her. She hated that he turned her into an emotional wreck. She grabbed her bag and sifted through it until she found the little orange bottle that read Benzodiazepine. She popped the pills into her mouth and took a sip from the water bottle that also sat in her bag. Leaning her head against the stall wall, she closed her eyes and waited for the effects to kick in.

She heard the first period bell ring.

Then second period.

Then third period and it was lunch time.

Rachel stayed in the bathroom. She was a coward and knew she should go to class but she couldn't face Finn. She couldn't face eating at a lunch table by herself while everyone picked on her. She didn't want the half hour to think about how things could have been so many better if she had just let the issue of Finn sleeping with Santana fade away.

There was a knock on the stall door and Rachel lifted her head up.

"Rachel? It's me, Mercedes." She heard Mercedes speak softly.

"Go away," she replied sadly.

Mercedes sighed. "Come on, honey. It's no good for you to stay in here all day."

Yes because facing my demons would be so much better. "I'd rather this than the cafeteria," Rachel said honestly.

She heard Mercedes chuckle.

"Come on, girl. Can we at least go to the library? I don't want to eat my food where people use the restroom."

Rachel remembered what Kurt had said last night: "What do you really want, Rach? Do you want friends or not?"

Rachel grabbed her things and left the stall. Her lips curved into a small smile.

"Yes, the library sounds much better than the bathroom."

Mercedes smiled back.

They walked side by side in silence to the library. When Rachel walked in, she saw that it was mostly empty. She was thankful for that. It was embarrassing enough that Mercedes had seen her pale face marked with blotchy red spots from crying. She didn't need to fuel the bullies anymore.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Mercedes asked quietly.

Rachel bit her lip. Should she tell Mercedes? They weren't exactly close but Mercedes had come to find her…

"Finn and I had a little bit of a confrontation, you could say," Rachel replied quietly.

Mercedes tilted her head. "What do you mean, a 'confrontation'?"

"He asked me if I would be going to his house tonight – to see Kurt, as you know – and I told him that I'd be going if he wasn't there. When we broke up, he made it very clear that he needed to be away from me so I wanted to respect that. But when I told him that today, he just got angry and started yelling at me," Rachel spoke sadly. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"What? Why would he yell at you? You'd think he'd be happy," Mercedes said, confused.

Rachel nodded in agreement. "That's what I thought. But then he said something about it being rude that I was ditching Kurt. I told him that I wasn't and asked him what kind of person he thought I was and," she took a deep breath, "he said that I was a liar, hypocrite, and a cheater. I knew he wanted to say more so I quickly left and headed to the girl's room."

It was quiet. Rachel looked up to see Mercedes eyes widen and then narrow. She opened her mouth a few times to speak but nothing came out. Rachel looked away and clasped her hands together.

"He is such a freakin' asshole!" Mercedes finally blurted out.

Rachel gasped, "Mercedes!"

"Oh no, girl. He deserves to be called that and a thousand more horrible names. How dare he yell at you like that? Oh my god," Mercedes breathed out. "I can't believe how wrong we've all been."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked slowly. She had no idea where this conversation would be going and she didn't want to find out.

"Ever since you and Finn broke up, everyone placed the blame on you. We all knew how much it hurt Finn to be cheated on twice but never once did we wonder how you felt. It was just so easy for us to hate you, you know? We didn't think twice when he told us to ignore you –"

Rachel interrupted her, "Wait… Finn told you guys to ignore me?"

Mercedes looked down at the table. Rachel sat there, shocked. She knew Finn had hated her…but she didn't think he would be so cruel as to tell the others to treat her wrongly.

"Did he tell the football team to slushee me as well?" Rachel asked. She was surprised at the calm that laced her voice.

"No, of course not. He only told us to ignore you." Mercedes' tone was reassuring but all Rachel felt was pain.

Rachel shook her head, "still doesn't mean what he did was right."

Mercedes nodded and they sat together in silence for the rest of lunch.

School went by in a blur and soon, Rachel found herself standing in front of Kurt and Finn's house. She had no idea what she was going to do. How could she face Finn after what she just heard?

Her phone vibrated and she pulled it out to see a new text from Kurt.

I see you outside, stalker. Just knock on the door and I'll let you into this house of sin.

She laughed and shook her head. She knocked on the door once and Kurt answered it. He grabbed her and spun her in a circle.

"I've missed seeing your face, Berry. How are you?" He asked letting her catch her breath.

She shrugged. "Been better but things are looking up since I get to hang out with you."

Kurt laughed and put his hand over his heart. "You sure know how to swoon a boy, Ms. Rachel."

She joined his laughter and he brought her over to the kitchen. She looked around for any sign of Finn but the house was silent except for their walking and chattering.

Rachel sat down at the table as Kurt brought over the meal.

"Wow Kurt, this looks amazing. When did you learn how to cook?" She asked as she looked over the table.

Kurt smirked. "I didn't – I had Carole and my dad put something together for us. By the way, that lasagna is vegan. Don't think I see you starting to drool over it."

Rachel blushed and grabbed her portion of each meal. Once they were both settled, they began updating each other on everything.

Kurt informed Rachel that his conquest for a romantic relationship with Blaine was slowly but surely getting there. They both swooned over the fact that Blaine remembered such trivial things as a coffee order whenever they went out together.

Rachel, while envious that Kurt's romantic life was working out, couldn't help but be happy for her friend. After all the drama that Kurt had gone through at McKinley, it was nice to see that his life had gotten better.

"Hey Kurt, do you know what time Mom and Burt said they were coming home? Santana just called and said she wanted to throw a huge party and we have the house tonight so I thought why not."

Rachel and Kurt both froze. Finn had just walked into the room and Rachel wanted to run and crawl into a hole.

"Kurt? Are you in here…oh."

She closed her eyes as she heard him change voices.

Kurt mouthed 'I'm so sorry' before looking up at Finn.

"No parties. I'm here for one night and that's because our parents trust us. No way am I letting you throw a party that I'll have to clean up." Rachel noted how angry Kurt sounded when he talked to Finn.

She heard Finn sigh – she didn't dare turn around and see his face.

"Whatever, then. When will you guys be done here? I haven't eaten yet," Finn replied quietly.

"Why don't you just eat with us?" Kurt asked politely.

Rachel blanched. Kurt smirked at her and winked. How could he even ask that? She stabbed her fork into the lasagna.

"Uh, I don't think that'd be the best idea. I'll just go eat in my room."

Kurt stared at him. "And have your mother yell at you for a week or two on why you can't eat in your room?"

"Kurt," Rachel whispered.

No one spoke for a couple minutes. If it wasn't for the phone ringing, Rachel was sure no one would have made a noise.

Finn grabbed it and she could hear him talking right behind her.

"Hello? Oh, hi Burt. Yeah, everything's going fine. Yeah, Rachel's here with Kurt. Everything's fine. Do you want to talk to him? Oh okay…here he is."

Kurt grabbed the phone and left the room. Rachel sighed and began eating again. She heard Finn in the kitchen grabbing something and before she knew it, he was right next to her. She looked up to find him staring at her.

"Do you mind if I eat here?" He asked quietly.

"It's fine." Keep it short. Don't let him see how he's affecting you.

He nodded and grabbed some of the lasagna. The table was small and round with only four seating places. Since Kurt had sat in front of her, Rachel realized that Finn only had the choice of sitting next to her on either side.

He sat on her left and began eating. His face twisted into a look of disgust. Rachel blushed – had she said something out loud?

"What the hell is this?" Finn muttered.

Rachel let out a giggle before she could stop herself. Finn glanced at her.

She composed herself. "Its vegan lasagna."

Finn stared at her for a moment before turning back to his plate. "Well it tastes like crap."

Rachel took another bite of her portion in response. Where was Kurt and why was he taking so long to come back? Surely his dad didn't have that much to say.

"Look Rachel, I'm really sorry for what I said today."

Rachel choked on her salad and started coughing. Finn, who looked like he had no idea what to do, stood up.

"Are you okay? Should I dial 911? Do I need to pat you on the back or something? I think I remembered hearing that in that health class we had to take."

She shook her head in protest. Finally, the coughing died down and she cleared her throat.

"I'm fine, Finn. I was just surprised to hear that from you," she told him honestly.

Finn scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, well, I saw how much I hurt your feelings in the hallway…"

And you haven't seen how much you've hurt my feelings this past month?

Rachel sighed and grabbed her plate and cup. She hadn't finished her meal but she certainly wasn't hungry anymore. She stood up and walked over to the sink.

Finn's eyes widen. "Why are you walking away? I just apologized."

She looked at him. "Exactly, Finn! You just apologized. You should have apologized a long time ago."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He got up and walked over to her.

She put her hands on her hips. "You really want to go there, Finn?"

"Yeah, I do."

She let out a bitter laugh. "Fine, let's go there. You should have apologized to me for the way you treated me ever since we first met. You should have apologized for going out with Quinn when you wanted to be with me. You should have apologized for telling me you'd rather find your 'inner rock star' instead of going out with me. You should have apologized every time Santana or someone from school insulted me in front of you. You should have apologized for lying to me about sleeping with Santana. You should have apologized for turning everyone against me. And mostly you should have apologized for making me fall in love with you!"

By the time she was done, tears were streaming down her face and she had to take deep breaths.

Finn stared down at her with a horrified expression.

"Rach…"

She closed her eyes. She didn't want to hear him call her that. That was reserved for when they were dating.

"I, uh, I –"

"Save it, Finn," she whispered blinking back more tears. "What's done is done. I've apologized for everything I did to you. I have to move on with my life. I won't let you damage me more than you already have."

She turned and ran straight into Kurt. He grabbed her so she wouldn't fall and they walked quickly into his room.

"I am so sorry for leaving you alone with him, Rachel. I didn't think he'd do anything," Kurt confessed.

Rachel waved her hands in a dismissing manner. "It's fine, Kurt. Like I told him, what's done is done. I just really want to go home now."

He nodded and grabbed his car keys. "Let me drive you back, okay?"

She nodded and grabbed her purse.

Traffic kept them getting to her house on time which meant Rachel let Kurt witness some of her break down. She cried silently and ignored him every time he tried to attempt to make her feel better. She needed to cry everything out. That way, when she woke up, she could do what she set out to do: move on from Finn.

Once she was safely back in her house, she ran up to her room. She grabbed a pen and paper from her table and began writing.

Dad,

Today's events – while not the best – helped me answer the question you asked me a while back.

My answer is this: yes. I want to move.

No, this isn't a decision made out of emotions. I've thought about it a lot and as mentioned above, tonight helped me put things into perspective.

We'll talk more about this tomorrow morning.

Goodnight,

Rachel

PS: I hope the work event went well.

Rachel stared at the paper before she brought it downstairs and set it on the counter. She knew her fathers would have a lot of questions for her tomorrow morning but right now she needed sleep.

As she lay down in her bed, another decision was made. Grabbing her phone, she went to her messages and quickly typed one to Noah:

Are you awake?

She didn't have to wait more than a minute for the reply:

What's up?

Her fingers typed so fast that they were trembling:

I'll do the duet with you.

A/N: Everything will be explained in the next chapter, I promise.

As always, a huge thanks to everyone who has reviewed, put this story on alert, or favorite'd this story. It means so much to me. Also, a teaser for the next chapter will be sent out to everyone who reviews. Make sure your PM is enabled.

Until then, I leave you with determined!Rachel.