Disclaimer: I don't own them - RIB does. I just like pretending I have control over the storylines.

A huge thanks to my wonderful beta, sandra-wfg, for beta'ing this. I'm so glad you're still apart of this. Thank you! :-)

And I know I told everyone I would post this on Monday by the earliest but I was so giddy to have it finished/beta'd that I decided to post it early.

Recap: Rachel has decided to leave McKinley after being bullied to the point where she's on medication. Her and Finn aren't on good speaking terms; after he broke up with Santana he started dating Quinn again which made Rachel realize what a hypocrite and liar he truly was. The only person who knows she plans on leaving is Kurt - the only person who didn't treat her horribly after her and Finn ended things. The glee club has eased up on Rachel and several of them apologized to her/have tried to make things better (all of them really except Quinn and Santana who Rachel always has a beef with). Her close circle of friends include Kurt, Puck (whom she refers to as Noah), Mercedes, and Blaine. Finn has apologized and they could've been friends had it not been for Finn trying to get back with Rachel while still dating Quinn. Rachel and Puck are duet partners for Regional's but there are no romantic feelings between them. Coach Beiste is co-director of the Glee club ever since Mr. Schue got into trouble for not defending Rachel or any other students from being bullied.

and now to chapter 11...

Chapter 11: Indecisive

"Noah, you can't be serious," Rachel groaned for the umpteenth time.

It was two weeks before Regional's and they still could not pick a song that they wanted to perform as a duet. While Rachel had been in good spirits as of late, she had no desire to perform a love song. Yet, she didn't want to sing a break up song either.

"I just don't understand why we have to sing about love," she sighed sitting down on the edge of the stage.

Noah joined her and they sat for a moment in silence.

"Does it have to do with Finn?" He asked cautiously.

"No." Yes.

Rachel sighed, "I just don't want to sing about love. It's not a big priority in my life and I would rather sing about another part of my life."

"I like that. We could do something about the depression you went through?" Noah asked.

She smiled, "that could be interesting... did you have a song in mind?"

He went to respond but they were interrupted by another person.

"Uh hey guys," Finn spoke quietly.

Rachel glanced at him quickly before staring down at her lap. She had done her best to ignore Finn. While his relationship with Quinn had ended just as quickly as it had begun, she still couldn't forgive him for getting back with Quinn while also trying to get with her. She could only view him as a complete hypocrite.

"I actually have to get going - mom wants to have another Schlinder's List viewing tonight and I'm cooking dinner," Noah said while he stood up and grabbed his things.

Rachel waved goodbye and was left with Finn. He sat down next to her and they sat there not speaking.

"I hate how weird things have become between us," Finn finally spoke.

She nodded in response.

"I miss you, Rachel. I know you don't want to hear it - but I do. I hate thinking about this past year how badly I treated you. I wish I could take it back. You never deserved it. You made a mistake and I acted like you murdered my family. I'm so damn sorry," he whispered sadly.

She closed her eyes - trying to blink away the tears that sprung to her face.

"It seems all you do is apologize to me now," she whispered with a sad laugh.

His lips twitched. "It's the only thing I can do that won't get me into more trouble with you."

"Well...I forgive you, Finn. I really do. What's done is done - there's no going back," she replied quietly.

Finn was quiet for a moment before he spoke again, "Do you ever think we could get back together? Maybe not right now but later on?"

"I...no, I don't think so," she admitted; shocked at the question.

"Why not? I believe in us, Rach. We can work through this - we can get back to where we were."

"No, we can't. You don't understand the things I went through when we were apart. The feeling of dread that washed through me everytime I came to school. I had so much anxiety that my therapist put me on medication - I have to take pills, Finn. You know how mortifying it is to see myself go from this over confident girl to absolutely no esteem? It sucked and I just can't do that again."

Her voice had risen unintentionally and she was standing above him. She could see the regret swim in his eyes but she couldn't do it anymore. He had messed her up - she couldn't be fixed by him.

"I'm sorry, Finn, but I have to go," she murmured after he didn't respond.

xx

Rachel was sitting in Kurt's room with him, Mercedes, Blaine, and Noah (who after telling his mother there was a Glee emergency, booked it to Kurt's house). She finished recapping what just happened and sat quietly. She watched as they absorbed what she said.

"Basically, he wants to get back together with you sometime in the near future?" Mercedes was the first to ask.

Rachel shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know. I guess? I forgive him for what he did -"

"When you really shouldn't," Noah muttered.

She sighed at him, "I do forgive him. We're young and we make stupid mistakes. But there is absolutely no way I can get back together with him. How can I trust him after this?"

"I have no idea. It would be tough to trust the person who belittled you in front of an entire school," Blaine agreed. "But, do you think you could at least be friends with him?"

"I don't know... probably not. He hurt me really badly," she replied.

"Don't sound guilty, Rachel. I wouldn't want to be friends with him if he treated me like that either. Hell, why are you even friends with us?" Mercedes piped in.

Rachel smiled, "Like I said, we're young and people make mistakes. Plus you guys weren't nearly as bad as the other kids."

The subject changed and Rachel looked over at Kurt who was playing with Blaine's hands. She smiled at the two of them but she realized Kurt had been silent ever since she had started the story about Finn. When he caught her eye, he smiled and shook his head.

She nodded and knew they would talk later.

After a couple more hours, everyone had left but Rachel and she curled up on Kurt's bed. He came back into the room.

"So," he spoke after laying down next to her.

"So?" She giggled at his tone.

He smiled, "Thank you for explaining why my step brother has been in such a foul mood since today."

She sighed, "Was it that bad?"

"Oh yeah. He kept muttering under his breath and every time something took too long or didn't work out for him, he shout that the world was 'out to get him' or something just as dramatic."

"I feel horrible," she admitted.

"For what? You can't just give in to him that easily."

"I know but...it sounds crazy but I don't want him to be in more pain, you know? I just want him to be happy."

"Seems to me he'd only be happy if he was with you, Rach."

Butterflies erupted in her stomach but she ignored them. "Well he can't feel that way. He needs to be happy without me. We aren't good for each other, Kurt. I think breaking up twice and the second aftermath being as horrible as it was proves that theory."

Kurt sighed sadly, "I know. I was just looking forward to having you as a step sister-in-law."

She laughed, "I don't know if your family could handle two divas. Could you imagine family dinners?"

"Please, they'd adore us. We would be the best duo that hit Ohio."

They both laughed and the topic changed to future performances and other subjects. Yet Rachel still couldn't take her mind off of what Kurt had said. Did Finn really want to be with her again and this time for the long run?

a/n: Oh, Rachel. ;-) I realized I've said that there are only going to be to be about 15 chapters but there's no way I can fit the rest of the story into 4 more chapters. I'm thinking it'll be 17-18 chapters plus an epilogue. If you'd like a teaser for the next chapter, just leave a review and I'll send you one. Please enable your PM's as that is the only way I can send you a teaser.

Wondering when Rachel will tell everyone she's moving? It'll be happening very soon.

Until then, I leave you with confused!Rachel. :-)