A/N: Thanks again for all the encouragement! Scene 1 was edited/semi-co-written by my sister, so special thanks to her for that. :D Onward to fic~!

Rating: M for language, violence (of the Torture and Interrogation kind), and adult situations.
Disclaimer: Naruto is still not mine, but Kishimoto's. Sad :[

And So

Chapter 3: Honest Lies

Although she was still angry, Ino resolved to make up with her father and uncles before her father drowned himself in a river of tears (or alcohol). It had been three days since she moved out and according to her mother, Inoichi had been sulking around the flower shop like a child and it was bad for business. He was not only upset that his princess was angry with him and potentially getting married to some low-life hooligan (since Naruto was going to be Hokage someday soon and saved the village a bunch of times he wasn't quite a low-life but still a hooligan, in Inoichi's humble opinion), but men kept coming into the shop and sending formal requests for her hand.

Inoichi was not a happy man.

Her mother shoved her towards her father, who was walking into the greenhouse as if walking to his death sentence. Ino felt a pang of guilt. Damn her soft heartedness. "Fix this."

Ino approached cautiously. Like Ino, Inoichi could be very emotionally volatile. She didn't think her heart could take him bursting into tears. "Daddy—"

"You don't understand how hard it is to be a parent," Inoichi dropped the roses he was holding and clutched her to him, his cheek resting on the top of her head. "I only want the best for you."

"I know. It's okay. I'm not angry anymore. And I'm not running to get married right this second, either."

Her father gave her a beautiful, relieved smile. Ino always knew the right things to say to her father. She had all the men in her life wrapped around her little finger but Inoichi even more so. She has once gotten him to travel all the way to Wind to get her a particular kind of rice cake. That was devotion. "That's right, you're still young. You have plenty of time."

He practically danced back to his work in the greenhouse, whistling as he did his gardening. So easy, Ino thought with a laugh. Men were so easy.

"Mom, I'm off today. I'll work the register until closing," Ino offered graciously. Her mother looked haggard and in desperate need of some time off. She felt guilty; ever since she had starting training with Ibiki, she hadn't spent much time working at the family shop. Ino vowed to be a little less selfish and help out more.

Her mother's frown lines deepened considerably. "I don't know if that's such a good idea."

Ino looked bewildered. "Eh? Why? I didn't forget how to count money and give change."

The older woman pointed outside, where a small group of men were gathering under the awning of their store. Ino recognized two of her second cousins but she was fairly sure that she had never so much as exchanged a "hello" with the rest of them. "If they're here to ask for your hand in marriage, make sure they actually buy some flowers."

"Oh, don't worry, I will. I'm very good at convincing people to do things," Ino said innocently.

A half hour and ten purchases later, Ino flipped through the bills in the cash register, feeling very proud of handiwork. Not only had she managed to dodge ten potential proposals but she was going to get a very nice commission from these sales.

"It looks like you're working hard."

Ino looked up from the stack of bills. Standing in front of her was one Shiranui Genma, chewing on a senbon and looking gorgeous as always. Her eyes went straight to his mouth. That oral of fixation of his had not escaped her memory. "Genma," she raised her eyebrows. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to ask you to dinner."

Her head snapped up but she really shouldn't have been surprised. Genma was never very subtle about these things. "With you?"

"No, Ino. With Itachi."

Ino snorted. "But why would you ask me out after you broke up with me not so long ago?"

He rolled his eyes. "You have this nasty habit of rewriting history. You broke up with me."

"So I did," she said lightly. "Well, this is awkward."

It wasn't, not really. She always felt a certainly calmness around Genma, a calmness that she so desperately needed and he was more than happy to provide. But the calm quickly turned into monotony, and monotony into restlessness, and while he was looking to settle down, she was determined to keep moving.

Ino looked at him and realized with a start that she still cared about him. What could one little dinner hurt? As an added bonus, it would annoy just about every man in her life.

Genma reached over and touched her cheek. "I know all of the ways you can dance around giving a straight answer, so let's just get to the point. Dinner. I promise, no marriage proposals."

God, he was sexy. It was too hard to say no. It took willpower that she just didn't have. "Okay. Sounds nice. Pick me up at eight."

"I've missed you, Ino."

She could feel herself melting under his gaze. It wasn't fair that after all this time he still had this effect on her. That stupid mouth of his should have been illegal. "Genma—"

"Well. Until then," he couldn't help but give her a quick kiss on the cheek before heading off.

"I thought you got rid of him months ago, Ino," Inoichi said from behind one of their displays where he was conveniently spying on his daughter. "I'm sorry that I ever allowed you to date someone ten years your senior!"

"Daddy, he had to go through you, Shikaku-ojisan, Chouza-ojisan, Chouji, AND Shikamaru before you let him take me out. You know he's a good man."

Inoichi pulled his daughter in for another hug. "I know, but I worry about you. You're my only child, my baby girl. Older men date younger girls for only one reason— "

"Daddy, please."

"Okay, okay… just remember. Kunai plus groin equals… well, you get the point."

"Daddy."

"And you can put poison just about anywhere—"

"Dad!"

Kiba was arguably the dumbest out of the group of potential fiancés which made him the easiest to get close to. He was a simple man with simple wants and needs. He liked to fight, he liked to eat, he liked to play with dogs, and he really, really liked to have sex. He was brutally honest and loyal and was, well, as stupid as a puppy. There was no need to lie or trick him. If she got him hooked enough, no matter how many times she kicked him, he would eventually come crawling back.

That was kind of hot.

I am really turning into a sadist, Ino thought as she unbuttoned a second button on her top. Kiba was a very visual guy. A little extra skin could only work in her favor. Ino had done her research, like any good recon ninja. The trick was to be subtle. Kiba was not to sort of person who liked women who were overly done up but he also wasn't above checking out a sexy girl in a skirt who walked past him. Balance. Yes, that was the key.

She looked at herself in the mirror, giving her long hair an extra fluff. She did look damn sexy, if she did say so herself. A fishnet bodysuit underneath a short buttoned up dress accentuated her legs and, of course, with those two buttons unbuttoned, her cleavage was impressive (made even more impressive with the wonders of double-sided tape and a very supportive bra).

Poor guy, Ino chuckled to herself as she slid on a bracelet. He had no idea what he was getting into.

"Sorry to keep you waiting~!" Ino waved to Kiba, who stopped dead in his tracks as soon as she was in his peripheral view. Excellent. "Where do you want to go?"

"I have to look in on the puppies at my place first, since Ma and 'neechan are out on missions," Kiba took the bait, just as Ino predicted, and zeroed in on her chest. Then the swell of her hips. Then the length of her legs. The poor guy was going to give himself whiplash if he wasn't careful. He had made no comment on her outfit, of course—expected, since Kiba was just that sort of guy—but he was digging it, that much was obvious.

Ino shrugged and leaned down to give Akamara a scratch behind the ears. Kiba's eyes followed her every movement. "I don't mind. I'll come help you." Hm. Going to his house when no one was home wasn't part of the plan since no one would be able to see them together but it was just a slight detour. What harm could it do? It wasn't like Ino had no self control. She wouldn't just rip his clothes off and have her way with him, that was just silly.

She had to follow through with her plan as if it were an S-rank mission. Get in, get out, be precise and effective.

Ino would most definitely, under no circumstances, sleep with Kiba.

The next morning, Ino was awoken by the sounds of a naked Kiba snoring next to her.

Well, that was an epic failure.

Not a total failure, she reassured herself. Just a small setback. Now if she could only find her bra…

Her dress was completely ruined. Kiba had gotten a little overenthusiastic (he apparently hadn't gotten laid in nearly 6 months because he had been so busy with missions and living at home with his very nosy and loud mom wasn't exactly conducive to luring a girl into his room) and ripped all the buttons clean off. Her fishnet was in tatters. Her shoes were MIA.

Ino stared up at the ceiling. Why did she make such terrible life choices all the time? She was older now. She was supposed to be mature and wise and all that crap that Sakura spouted at her. She would have to agree that it was neither mature nor wise to bang Inuzuka Kiba.

To avoid further complications, Ino would have to use all of her ninja skills to get out of the house before Kiba woke up. She was a Jounin, for God's sake. Why was she fumbling like this? This was a piece of cake. She found her underwear (thank God—what if Tsume had come home and found it? Ino would just die) and would just have to improvise the rest. It was fine. Everything was fine! Ino would just borrow a shirt and pants from Kiba and deny it later. It was cool.

Get out get out get out was the mantra on her mind as she slid into the stolen clothes. Get out get out get out of the house!

Akamaru looked up at Ino questioningly when she tried to step over him. Ino put her fingers to her lips. "I will buy you as many treats as you want later," Ino whispered. "Just be quiet, okay?"

The dog lied back down and Ino breathed a sigh of relief. Kiba stirred in his sleep, grunted, but didn't wake. This wasn't good for her heart. She needed to get out get out get out ASAP STAT.

"Home free, Yamanaka," Ino pumped her fist triumphantly when she made it out into the hallway.

"Good morning, Ino-chan," Inuzuka Hana said cheerfully.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Ino flattened her back against the wall, a subconscious action to cover her vulnerable spots in the face of an enemy. Her heart was beating wildly. Interestingly enough, Kiba still didn't wake up. She must have worked him over harder last night than she thought. Clearly, she had made the right move introducing chakra enhanced ropes into foreplay. Not now, Ino. Focus. "Ha-ha-hana-san?!"

If there was anything weird about Ino sneaking out of her little brother's room at six AM wearing his clothes, Hana's face didn't show it. "Sorry, did I surprise you?"

Ino swallowed heavily. "I thought you were on a mission."

"I came back a few hours ago," Hana explained, almost apologetically.

"And your mom…?"

"Still gone."

This was embarrassing but it wasn't the worst scenario. Hana was kind and understanding. "I'm really sorry for disturbing you when you're tired from your mission, Hana-san, so I'm just going to—"

"Are you hungry? I was just about to have some breakfast," Hana put her arm around Ino's shoulder.

"No, I'm really not—"

Hana's arm tightened but her smile remained. Ino was genuinely terrified. "I insist."

Her Morning After breakfast with Hana wasn't completely terrible but it was still embarrassing as hell. Hana was pleasant but there was an ever present undercurrent of What are your intentions with my little brother? in her questions that made Ino wince. She stammered her way through the meal (Awesome job, master interrogator, Ibiki-sensei would be so proud, you loser) and all but ran out when it was over, eager to get her walk of shame over with.

Now Ino was at a loss. She couldn't go back to Kurenai's house wearing Kiba's clothes. She certainly couldn't go home. She couldn't go to Sakura's because Sakura would just lecture her. The T&I office wasn't open yet. Tenten was out on a mission. There was no way she was going to the Hyuuga house like this.

Therefore, it was perfectly logical for her to be breaking into her teammate's room, Ino told herself as she jimmied open Shikamaru's window. Not weird or illegal at all. Besides, Shikamaru slept like the dead. He probably wouldn't even notice her. No big deal! The plan was still on, everything was great, and Ino was fine.

"Can't you walk through the door like a normal person?" Shikamaru asked from his bed, not bothering to open his eyes.

This was not Ino's morning. "Um, I'm just a very clever genjutsu," Ino waved her hands around. "I'm not really here."

He snorted.

"This is a dream?"

"You mean a nightmare," Shikamaru rolled over onto his side but didn't protest any further.

Ino rummaged through Shikamaru's drawers. She was almost positive that she had left a change of clothes here. "Where are Obasan and Ojisan?"

"Feeding the deer."

"Can I take a shower?"

"Whatever, just let me sleep," Shikamaru grumbled, hiding his face with his pillow. Ino felt a little bad for interrupting him on his day off. But only a little. She was still upset with him for the whole "picking her fiancé" thing, not to mention he had been colder than usual to her and that hurt. Where did he get off thinking that he could ignore her? Brat.

She found her clothes and made a little triumphant noise. "By the way, Shikamaru…?"

"You're not going to let me sleep, are you." It was more of a comment than a question. They both knew the answer.

"Who did you pick for me?"

"…"

Ino waited. For some reason, she really wanted to know. "Shikamaru?"

"Ramen shop guy," Shikamaru burrowed under his blankets. Only his messy hair was visible over the comforter.

She swatted him with her clothes. Ino knew he was smirking under there. "You're an ass."

"Yeah, yeah."

Next on Ino's hit list was Neji. He was a harder nut to crack, even if he had softened a bit over the years. Short skirts and makeout sessions wouldn't win him over. She had to be more serious than playful, more beautiful than sexy, but most of all she had to outwit him. It wasn't easy to outwit a genius but then again, Ino had practice. She couldn't even remember the number of times she had emotionally blackmailed Shikamaru into doing something for her.

She had this in the bag.

"Okay, look," Ino started. They were staring at each other over a table in the Hyuuga House, drinking tea, and pretending to be respectable adults (at least Ino was). Hiashi had welcomed her warmly (weird) and Neji had agreed to meet with her about this potential marriage (weirder) so she had to make the best of the situation. "I know you're busy with missions and clan duties so I'm going to make this brief."

Neji nodded his head. He clearly liked the sound of "brief".

"I'm not saying we have to get married but your uncle likes me and you're being primed to lead this clan. It probably wouldn't be in your best interest to go against him."

"I suppose so," he said carefully.

"Sooo, I propose that we get to know each other a little better when we're not busy with work, which will satisfy your uncle and won't interfere with your lifestyle. Later I can take the blame and then tell him that I turned you down. Everyone wins. Isn't it a good plan?"

Ino thought so. Neji was absolutely gorgeous and this way, they could have a no-strings-attached relationship all while getting revenge on her uncles, father, and teammates. The sex that she would eventually have with him was just the cherry on top. Ino was already thinking up ways they could use the Byakugan in bed.

Neji's face remained stoic. "Alright. I agree."

"NEJI!" Lee literally burst through the bamboo doors, leaving a Lee-shaped hole in his wake. Ino almost had a heart attack. Even Neji looked surprised. "YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED?!"

"What are you doing here?" Neji finally showed an emotion—utter annoyance. "And why couldn't you have just opened the door?"

"Ino-san!" Lee grasped Ino's hands in his, tears streaming down his face. Was that snot? Someone kill her now. "I beg you, please make an honest man out of Neji! However, remember to keep your love pure before the wedding! You have to promise to cherish him as you both go through the springtime of your youth and eventually spend the winter of your… of your…"

"Adulthood?" Ino supplied.

"Yes! The winter of your adulthood, wearing kimonos and walking hand in hand in the garden-! Ahhhh I'm so jealous! SAKURA-SAAAAAN!" Lee cried even harder, lamenting his fate as an eternal bachelor. Ino patted his shoulder awkwardly.

Was every date with Neji going to have Lee—or worse, Gai-sensei?— as a chaperone?

Is this karma? Ino thought as Lee sobbed unashamedly into her lap. I must have done something very bad in a past life to deserve this.

Last on her list was Naruto.

Ah, Naruto. Sweet, strong, naïve Naruto. He was more perceptive than he looked, which meant tricking him was out. To be honest, he wasn't the sort of guy she wanted to trick, either. Even Ino, cynical and diabolical as she was, couldn't look him in the face and be cruel to him. He was adorable and kindhearted.

And a total virgin, Ino was sure of it. She could work with that.

The plan was they would meet in a place that he liked (Ichiraku, of course) and Ino would charm the orange pants right off of him. He might have been the Hokage-in-training but Naruto was a 20 year old man and a horny one at that. She knew that this was a dangerous plan because Naruto tended to get attached to the women he liked (re: Sakura) but the higher the risk, the higher the reward, right? He was a stupidly forgiving person when it came to his friends (re: Sasuke), so Ino was sure they could part ways amicably when all was said and done.

Ino shoved all her feelings of guilt aside (thoughts like Oh God, Hinata and Tenten and all the rest of the people she was probably hurting with this little game of hers) and focused at the task on hand. What did Naruto like about Sakura? Sakura was genuine and smart and punched him a lot. Naruto was a little bit of a masochist which was perfect, because Ino was a little bit of a sadist. Naruto was also dense with the delicacy of a freight train so Ino would have to be very up front with him about what she wanted.

"I thought about just showing up wearing a ramen bikini," Ino joked. "It might get you interested."

Naruto laughed, mid-slurp of his soup. "I think only a blind guy wouldn't be interested in you, though I dunno if I'd say no to a ramen bikini." He paused. "I was kind of surprised you wanted to eat ramen with me, though."

"Why not? Everyone has to eat. Besides, we're engaged," Ino broke her chopsticks. "It wouldn't hurt your chances to buy me a bowl once in a while."

He rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks turning pink. It was kind of cute. "Is that for real?"

"Hm, I wonder."

The hand that wasn't holding her chopsticks dropped under the table, resting on Naruto's knee. A piece of fish fell inelegantly out of his mouth. "Careful," Ino pointed to her own face. Her other hand slid up onto his thigh. "You have a bit—right here—"

"Oh," Naruto's voice sounded very high, as if he was going through puberty for the first time. "Right. T-thanks."

"You're welcome," Ino said warmly, enjoying her bowl of ramen immensely.

Men?

Men were so easy.