Why am I here?
I can't take it any longer.
No! I can't ask him now. I won't tell him or anyone. Not one word to one soul. I shouldn't even have these feelings.
My name is Alexis Rhodes. I've been with Jaden Yuki ever since we graduated from the academy. Many people didn't respect my decision to be with him; they thought I could do better. I try not to let anyone's feeling affect me but sometimes I can't help but wonder. Is Jaden really the best option? Could I honestly have done better? Would Chazz be willing to have me after all of these years? I've been Jaden for six years after we graduated. Jaden and I aren't even engaged or married yet. I felt like we should be married by now because, let's face it, we deserve it. So why am I still here with him?
Today, we're at an Italian restaurant that had really good food and was exceptionally high classed. Jaden was sitting across from me while chowing down on the spaghetti and meatballs with extra marinara sauce he ordered. He was clueless that I was having second thoughts about our relationship. I wonder if he ever thinks I was a mistake for him; but if that were true he wouldn't be acting as if nothing was wrong. Or was there something wrong? How should I know? I can't even decide whether I want to leave Jaden or not. Why am I even sitting with him?
There can only be one reason as to why I'm still with him. I'm in love with him. Back at the academy, I tried not to wear my heart on my sleeve. I tried to show my sensitive side to anyone and kept up with my ego. But Jaden brought out the best in me. Every few times I would act foolish, he would try to make me feel better by telling me I was a great person of telling me a joke. It was then later on when we started going out together. Okay, maybe I do love him. But does he love me? How would he even prove it?
"Alexis, are you alright?" Jaden asked, looking up from his meal. "You haven't said a word since we came in."
"Nothing's wrong." I lied to him. "I'm just…I guess I'm just not that hungry."
I expected him to ask for my food but he never did. Instead, he gave me his sympathy. "Alexis, I know when something is wrong. I guarantee you'll feel better if u just tell me."
"Fine, I'll tell you what's wrong. If I said 'will you marry me' what would you say?" I blurted out. My question surprised the people around us, Jaden, and for some reason it surprised me. I never intended to say that at all but I guess it was what was going through my mind. This would be a true test about whether or not he loved me. There was a hush over the room and I could feel all eyes piercing through us like knives.
"Um…wow." Jaden set down his fork and stared at me. "Where did you get-"
"Just shut up and tell me yes or no!" I yelled. "Do you love me or not? Should I even stay with you? For heaven's sake, we've been together for six years. SIX YEARS! Six years and you make it seem like I don't deserve any official commitment or connection to you. So tell me the truth. Do you want me or not?"
"Alexis, I can-"
"TELL ME!" I slammed my fist one the table. My eyes began to sting harder than my hand. The table is probably abused from my slams and my salty tears that were leaking through my angry face.
"Alexis, you forgot a few things in a proposal." Jaden spoke in a soothing voice that was somehow calming me down. He stood up from his chair and dropped his napkin on the table. "First of all, the man is supposed to be the one proposing."
"So you're supposed to be a man now?" I snapped. "The man who cried because of his friends? The man who teased everyone at the academy to make them feel better? The man who hasn't said a word about marriage for six years?"
Jaden ignored my remark and got down on his right knee. "Also, you're supposed to get down on one knee. Like this."
"What are you up to?" My face became less tense and my heartbeat started to rise. Is this what I think it is?
"Finally, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black box and opened it up in front of me, "you need this."
"What? You mean you're proposing to me now." I gaped at him, trying to hide the blush that was creeping onto my face. "Why now?"
"Cause you deserve it." He explained. "You've been there with me ever since I first met you; you were a girl who wouldn't let anyone near you since you had standards. You were and still are a huge catch. Now, you have evolved into a lovely lady for whom I can't live without and makes me want to be a better man."
"Jaden, I-"
"I'm not finished." He continued. "You are one of the best duelists I know. You're an even closer friend than I could have hoped. Everyday when you're not with me, I feel like a zombie. I feel…six feet under. The truth is, I love you Alexis. I want to be with you all the time, everyday. Will you marry me?"
I was weeping now. He has just opened out his heart and soul to me. These tears were no longer anger; they were joy. I was so speechless; I wasn't sure what to say. I said the only thing a girl could say. "Yes, I do."
Jaden stood up and grabbed my arm. He pulled me towards him and our lips collided. The people around us started to clap and there were a few catcalls, but who was listening? I was only focused on my new fiancé. Nothing could change my mind about our love.