...in which daryl discovers stella's hidden talent (ok, keep your minds out of the gutter people!) and we all learn a new game.

My solution to my near fatal embarrassment: go into hiding. I hid out mostly in the garden shed, eating lunch there, and staying late so I didn't have to walk home with Maggie and Marie. It's not like I didn't have enough to do there. Springtime was usually when my job took over my life, although recent events had left me horribly unproductive. Even though Maggie and Marie denied it, it still felt like they were up to something.

Because now, every time Daryl was working the guard post, I'd hear "What's up, Funny Girl?" when I walked past. I'd smile and give him a kind of a wave, but never stopped to talk. I couldn't decide if he was making fun of me or not.

At band practice, Marie let me know she finally had enough. I should probably explain here, too. Much like everything else in post-ZA life, things had kind of a different meaning than they used to. Just as a storage garage now qualified as an apartment, or some dude selling moonshine qualified as a bar, a couple of people hanging out and playing music qualified as band practice.

One thing I discovered about humankind from living in a self-storage facility was that every single person at one point in their lives or another thought they were going to become a musician. Our new home was a goldmine for the legitimately musically inclined. Of course, anything electric was completely useless, so there had been about a dozen electric guitars and basses, along with a collection of amps, sacrificed for parts for our tinkerers (more on that later). However, if you were interested in acoustic guitar, violin, trumpet, flute, banjo, drums (kit OR bongo), mandolin, or – God forbid – tuba, you were in business.

Back in our pre-ZA life, Marie and I had been in a band with my husband – then boyfriend – Ty, and our friend, Jason. Actually, that's how I met Ty. I had gone to see the indie/punk/country band she was singing with, Human Disaster. (Hey, the name sounded good to college kids, OK?) Ty was playing guitar and writing songs, and Marie was singing. I introduced myself to him after the show, and that was that for me and Ty. Marie likes to claim responsibility for making the match, but the weirdest thing was that she never even brought him up with me as someone I might be interested in.

I had been playing guitar since I was a kid, but I never EVER would have considered playing in front of people. That changed with Ty. We started writing songs together, and he was the one who was able to convince me that I could get up on stage. Marie always sang my songs, although I sang back-up from time to time. I was able to kind of fade into the background on stage, which suited me just fine. As terrifying as it was every single time I had to get up on stage, I have to admit that it was always such fun.

So back to band practice, where Marie had had enough. She showed up early and started right in on me. "Stella, I am seriously disappointed in you," she complained. "I never knew you were such a chicken-shit."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I knew exactly what she was talking about, but I was not going to give her the satisfaction of my admitting it.

"I can't believe you are HIDING from this guy!"

"I'm not hiding!" I protested.

"Well, than what do you call it? Every night for two weeks, you've come back to your house after work. You turn down all my invitations to hang out. Even if you're afraid of Gun Show, you need to get to know the rest of them better; they are fun people. But the bottom line is that you are hiding, woman, and I don't like it." Marie stabbed at me emphatically with her finger. "I don't even know what you could be doing here! It's not like there's Netflix or the internet to entertain you anymore."

I held up a book. "I am READING. Trying to broaden my mind, unlike some people I know."

She rolled her eyes. "Bullshit. You're hiding and you know it." At that point, Tom and Matt showed up for practice, and miraculously she shut up. Tom knew how to play the violin from his previous life, and he was a welcome addition to the group. I taught Matt how to play the guitar, and he was able to play enough to jam with us.

For years after we had arrived here, I'd resisted Marie's requests to play. Music was so tangled up with my memories of Ty, it was impossible for me to even consider playing. But the funny thing about life after the ZA is that once you are done running, and once you have food to eat and a relative sense of security, you end up with kind of a lot of time on your hands. There's no TV or internet to suck away hours. It's not like you can take a vacation anymore, and shopping is completely out, so you need to find something to do with yourself. Eventually I caved, and Marie and I would play and sing all our old songs. Well, all the songs that I wrote, and any of the covers we remembered. I still refused to play anything Ty wrote. It just seemed…wrong. With the addition of Tom and Matt, though, we were now actually more like a band.

We were about half an hour into practice when Natalia arrived with another one of Maggie's group in tow. Natalia was part of the kitchen staff, and I thought I remembered that that was where the other woman had landed. "Hey guys," Natalia said, "this is Carol."

We all smiled and introduced ourselves. Carol looked to be in her late 40s, and there was something about her demeanor that made me like her immediately. She seemed as likely to give you a hug as to punch you in the face.

"So Carol and I were talking after lunch today and came up with a great idea. What do you guys think about coming to a party tomorrow night to welcome our new residents?" Natalia asked.

"There would be dinner and then maybe a bonfire out by the pond," Carol explained. "Just something fun where we could get to know everyone."

"You guys will bring your instruments, right? So we can have music?" Natalia asked.

My stomach dropped at the thought of playing for this new group (well, pretty much just Daryl), but Marie jumped on the opportunity. Without consulting the rest of us, she said, "Definitely! Sounds like a blast!"

Carol smiled, and Natalia said they'd see us tomorrow night. They continued on to the next place to spread the word.

Marie saw the look of horror on my face, and said, "What? We've played for everyone before." I didn't respond, and she made a face. "Oh, are you kidding me? Is it because –"

I cut her off, saying brightly, "OK, I guess this means we should get back to practice!"

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I was glaring at Marie and Maggie as they inspected my extremely limited wardrobe. "Seriously, I KNOW you two were behind this!"

Maggie raised her right hand, laughing. "I SWEAR I didn't hear at thing about it until Marie abducted me from my house today!"

"And I did not put this into motion, but I'm sure as hell going to make sure you don't squander this opportunity!" Marie swore. She turned and looked at me with a smile. "You have to admit, this is a PERFECT opportunity! What guy could resist a hot girl in a band?"

My stomach was in complete knots. It was always agonizing, thinking about performing for an audience. So far, our "playing out" had been pretty casual, kind of a campfire sing-along, with Gary and Andy - a couple older guys - playing banjo and bongo on the covers they knew. We would mainly just play songs people requested, usually ones they remembered from the old days. Then Marie, Tom, Matt and I would play some of our "classics." Another interesting fact about life now was that people didn't seem to care if it was country, folk, pop, blues, or whatever. As long as they could sing along or dance to it, they were happy. It was miraculous how much people lit up when they heard music, and it was surreal to hear people from children to senior citizens asking to hear one of our songs.

"I really don't know what big decision you guys have to make. It's jeans and a t-shirt, the green dress, or the blue dress." When we had arrived here a million years ago, there were piles and piles of clothing to look through, but we were seven years out and the pickings had gotten a little slim.

"I think the green dress would look really pretty with her red hair and blue eyes," Maggie said, holding the dress up to me.

Marie agreed, "It shows off your killer ass-ets." She grinned at me and continued talking to Maggie as if I wasn't there. "In college, she was never this timid. If she was interested in someone, she just went up and told them."

"Yeah, but that was a million years ago now. And the ONLY person I did that with was Ty." I put the dress on and now stared at myself in the mirror, trying to decide what to do with my hair. Maggie came over and started fooling with it.

"Up or down?" she asked Marie. "I'm thinking up."

Marie considered. "Up. Definitely up." Then she told me, "You need to channel that confidence. Seriously, you of all people should completely understand that life is short. Don't waste time on being neurotic. If you want something, go for it."

Maggie was nodding her head emphatically. "Your crazy friend here knows what she's talking about."

I sighed. "OK, I guess I'm ready." I spun around for their approval.

"Smoking hot," Marie said, and I got a thumbs-up from Maggie. "Get your guitar and let's go."

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It was another one of those nights where I almost felt like I was back at home. Living for so long with a small group of people really made them like family. As with any family, there were some people that drove you absolutely batshit CRAZY, but they were your family so you got over it. Surveying the people as they arrived, it was funny to think of this motley assortment as family. If you ignored the snipers posted along the perimeter fences, it almost felt like a neighborhood block party.

The kitchen staff had put together quite a spread, set out on a mismatched collection of tables, and Barney had brought some of his "finest" liquor. Actually, this shindig brought out a couple of our homebrew folks. Donnie had been trying his hand, with varying degrees of success, at making fruit wines and had donated some to the cause. If you applied the term "homebrew" a little more loosely, you could also count the weed that Jamie brought. These days, no one was much concerned with what was legal or not. As far as we knew, even Washington, DC was rubble.

We walked up to a table where Matt, Tom, and Glenn were already seated. I set my guitar down and said hi to everybody.

"So I guess you've just spent the past two weeks at your place, getting hotter?" Matt teased. "I'll go grab you guys a couple of drinks. Do you want clear or brown?"

We gave him our orders and sat down. Tom smiled at me. "Seriously, you look great. You should wear dresses more often."

I was kind of puzzled by his compliment, but was flattered anyway. I looked around, pretending I wasn't looking for Daryl, but I was about as sly as a freight train.

"Gun Show's not here," Tom said. "He's working."

I was relieved and slightly disappointed at the same time. "Oh, OK, whatever," I said, trying to be casual. I tried to avoid looking at Glenn, who had a huge grin on his face. I assumed that Maggie had filled him in on the humiliating details, so at least that saved me from having to explain myself. I turned around. "Jesus, where did Matt get to?"

The evening rolled on in a lovely, leisurely way. Everyone ate, drank, and socialized. I got to talk to all the members of Maggie's group, and I was happy that they all seemed like good people. Carl had an intensity about him that was a little intimidating at first, but now that I knew his story, it would be weird for him not to be. And all the kids who grew up right after the ZA had that aura about them. He clearly was a dedicated big brother to Judith and an attentive husband to Beth. I had learned from Maggie that Beth was her sister, and I thought what a lucky person she was that she had both her sister and her dad with her.

As the sun went down, someone started the bonfire. Parties here were always better when the sun went down, if for nothing else than you couldn't really see the walkers who gathered outside the walls and fences. Seems funny how I was able to ignore zombies that were trying to crash our party, but now it was kind of like seeing raccoons or possums, if the raccoons and possums had rabies and wanted to eat you.

The beauty of playing at a bonfire was that I never had to get up onstage. As the fire got bigger, everyone migrated towards it. As we tuned up, everybody got settled in. The first one to shout out a request, as always, was Donnie, who yelled, "Free Bird!" To which Andy , as always, replied, "We don't know that one, you jackass!"

And then we were off. We would play anything from Johnny Cash to the Beatles to Dave Matthews Band to the Black Keys. Once, we made a very weird stab at "Seven Nation Army," by the White Stripes. It's not really a song that translates well to acoustic instruments.

Tonight, we started with "Ring of Fire," and a couple songs later, people were singing along to "Friends in Low Places." By the time we got to "You Really Got Me," people were dancing. We even got requests for a couple of our originals. At that point, Gary took his leave to dance with a "pretty lady," whom I discovered was Carol. Andy decided he needed a drink, so he bowed out, too.

As we started into "Clouds," I was completely, 100% in my element, and I wondered as always why the hell it took me so long to play again. With my songs, I never wrote really logical lyrics because I was more focused on the melody. The lyrics were an afterthought and made sense in only a very abstract way, so I always thought it was kind of hilarious to hear this group of people belting out lines like, don't try to write your name in the clouds from the ground!

All was good with the world, and I was digging the happiness I was bringing to my friends and neighbors. And then I saw him and my stomach dropped. Daryl was hanging back from the crowd, but he was there and he was watching and my throat felt like it was going to close up and I was pretty sure I was going to throw up right then and there. And then he smiled, and I couldn't help myself and smiled back.

I looked over at Marie, and she mouthed the word "Finally!" She said something to Tom and Matt, and then leaned over to me and said, "We're going to do 'LRC.'" Tom played the intro on the fiddle, and then Marie and I both started singing. I kept my eyes glued to my guitar, but by the time we got to the chorus, I realized Marie had stopped singing and hung me out to dry. I took a deep breath and continued:

In a town so small

How could anybody not

Look you in the eye

Wave as you drive by

The world is such a wonderful place

At the end of the song, I looked up, and Daryl was watching me so intensely I felt faint. I excused myself to take a break. Things were starting to wind down, and Tom, Marie and Matt went into some quieter stuff. I made a beeline for the drinks and was chugging a glass of water when Daryl rolled up next to me.

"Hey Funny Girl, where you been hiding?" he drawled. This guy could be reading dictionary entries, and it would sound sexy. My stomach dropped to my feet, and my mind went blank. What was it about this guy that made my brain completely short-circuit?

I shrugged. "I've been busy doing stuff. You know, things." I was extremely thankful for the dim light of the torches, so he couldn't see me shaking.

I was rewarded with that gravelly chuckle. "Sounds important."

"Oh yeah, things are very important," I rambled. "But the stuff is pretty critical, too."

Another chuckle. "You guys know how to party here. Pretty crazy shit to go from being on the road, dodging walkers, to being here in Mayberry." He looked around. "Who woulda figured Mayberry was a U-Store-It. You like it here?"

"Yeah, it's a pretty good setup, and the people here are generally pretty cool. But you've gotta watch out for Barney Fife. He's kind of a dick."

We started walking back to the fire. "I liked your songs. Didn't expect you to be a comedian AND a rock star," he said.

Did he seriously just compliment me? I was so pleased by his comment that I couldn't think of a snarky bresponse and just said, "Thanks."

"Do you really believe what you were singing? 'Bout the world being wonderful?" he asked.

I looked at the party going on around us and smiled. "Yeah, tonight I definitely do." Feeling a sudden surge of courage, I blurted out, "Do you want to go for a ride sometime? With me, I mean?"

"Yeah, I kinda figured that's who you were talking about," he laughed. "Yeah, I could dig that."

By the time we got back to the bonfire, the group had dwindled to Maggie and Glenn, Marie and Matt, and Carl and Beth. Marie was explaining "Keep or Toss," a game of sorts we had invented to pass the time. Thankfully, this meant she didn't notice my idiotic grin, or how I actually sat down next to Daryl instead of pretending he didn't exist.

The premise of "Keep or Toss," was to name one thing from the old days that you would "keep" and one thing you would "toss." The keeper was something that you miss from your previous life. It wasn't allowed to be something sad, but was supposed to be something frivolous that you'd never expected to miss. The "toss" part was to balance out what you missed, so it didn't end up being a depressing pity party where we just bitched about everything that we didn't have any more. You got bonus points if your keep and toss were connected in some way, although it wasn't like there was a winner or anything. This was a game that had occupied countless hours since we invented it a few years back.

"OK, Matt, you're first," Marie directed. "Show the newbies how it's done."

"Um, I'd keep Toaster Strudels, but toss Pop Tarts," Matt offered.

"Nicely done," Marie commented. "Maggie, your turn."

Maggie thought for a minute, then looked down at her round belly and smiled. "I think I'd keep condoms and toss 'natural family planning.'"

That earned a laugh from everyone, and Marie said, "Technically, condoms are just an endangered species, not extinct, but I'll give you points for creativity. Glenn?"

"I'd keep the internet, and –"

"Nope, too broad," Maggie interrupted. "You need to pick small things; otherwise the game would be done in one round."

Glenn tried again, "OK, I'd keep World of Warcraft and toss Dungeons and Dragons."

We all groaned at this. "What a geek!" Carl teased him.

Maggie laughed. "Thank God there's no internet anymore! I never would have met you because you'd be holed up in your parents' basement!"

As we went around the group, everyone had something to add. Beth said she would keep Loretta Lynn and toss Shania Twain. Marie kept Target and tossed Wal-Mart. We had animated discussions about the relative merits of one person's keep versus another person's. Somewhere during the course of the game, Daryl rested his hand on the back of my neck, and just for a second everything went sideways. It was...indescribable. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in and just felt the weight of his hand on me. Bliss. I opened my eyes and saw that every single other person around the fire was staring at us, all of them grinning like the Cheshire Cat. I allowed myself a small smile, and Daryl barked, "What the fuck are y'all gaping at?" But he left his hand where it was and I was in heaven.

My turn came up, and I hemmed and hawed, trying to come up with something. Again, Daryl had caused my brain to head off to parts unknown. Everyone started harassing me good-naturedly about not having an answer. While I was thinking, Daryl got up without a word and left. No one said anything, but no one from his group seemed particularly surprised. However, I was wildly distracted and finally said lamely, "Um, you guys will have to come back to me."

credit where credit is due: clouds is by the long winters and ode to the lrc is by band of horses