Hi everyone! I don't own Merlin unfortunately. Thanks to everyone for all the support and I love reviews so please leave one, even of its short, for me if you can. Hope you enjoy this chapter! :)

Merlin eyes opened quickly as he recognized the voice almost immediately.

"Mordred," he hissed, "You scared me. What is it?" Mordred looked scared, and Merlin immediately felt bad for snapping at him. Mordred didn't answer, he just shook his head. Merlin's eyes widened.

"What is it, what's happened?" Merlin shifted and untangled himself from Arthur's arms. Arthur grumbled and turned over. Merlin sat up, analyzing Mordred's bright blue eyes that were wide with fright.

"Can you tell me?"

No, came Mordred's voice in his head,They have forbidden it. I can't speak, Merlin, I've tried! This is the only communication I can use, and if I try to tell you, they will find a way to stop me. He sounded terrified of 'they'. Merlin stood up and put a light hand on his arm and steered him out the room so they didn't disturb Arthur and Freya. He sat him down on the couch in the living room and went to make hot chocolate, hoping to calm him down enough to get an explanation out of him. He quickly made two mugs and handed one to Mordred.

Well this is new, came Mordred's sardonic voice in his head, I didn't think you'd go out of your way to make me hot chocolate.

"Oh geez, give me this one, will you?" Merlin whispered, "I do one nice thing and you're….oozing sarcasm." Mordred rolled his eyes.

Can you fix me?

"I can try, and I will try. Are you sure you can't fix yourself?"

Of course I'm sure…. Remembering an ironic joke about new-age technology, Merlin suddenly asked humorously,

"Did you turn it off and turn it back on again?"

Haha, very funny, Merlin. Merlin cleared his throat and said seriously,

"Okay, so what happened?"

Did you not hear me say I couldn't tell you or are you just that thick?

"I'm trying to help you, Mordred, no need to be rude."

It's not like you're very warm and cuddly.

"I thought we were doing a clean slate thing or something."

...Right. Sorry. The invasion of my mind has put me off my usual genial temper if you haven't noticed.

"Obviously…" Merlin sipped his chocolate and looked at Mordred curiously.

What are you looking at? Or for? Mordred asked almost accusingly.

"Not sure….something's just different….it's not important."

Be a little more vague will you?

"Oh quit it with the sarcasm already. I'm thinking." Mordred was silent and Merlin thought about this. He had gathered enough to know for almost certain that it was the same spirits haunting Mordred that haunted Morgana the other night. This worried him greatly. They would probably be picking on both of them, knowing the rest were too loyal to give in to their wills. Morgana and Mordred were thought to be easier to break. And they, whoever they were, were probably right.

"It was the same spirits who got after Morgana, wasn't it?"

Mordred shrugged and replied I dunno, I wasn't there. I would say most likely though.

"Why aren't they stopping you from saying that?" Merlin asked, narrowing his eyes.

I don't know, but I'm not complaining. Maybe they figure that's obvious and it doesn't matter.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Mordred's eyes widened and he shook his head 'no'. Merlin huffed in frustration. He hated invading the minds of others, even if it was to help them. It was uncomfortable and he didn't do it unless completely necessary. "Mordred, come here," he sighed. Mordred scooted closer to him, knowing what he was going to do. He closed his eyes and concentrated as Merlin put his fingers on the boy's temples and tried to see the dream as he had seen Morgana's.

Almost immediately it was chaos. He had almost reached it when a blinding red light came down like lightning, severing the connect. Merlin frowned and tried to fight it, but the more he pushed, the more violently it fought back. Merlin suddenly became aware that Mordred was shaking hard. Merlin opened his eyes and saw Mordred was in pain. His arms were flailing helplessly and he was shaking violently, and he was rocking back and forth. The worst was his expression. His face showed incredible pain and he was silently screaming. He couldn't speak, so no sound came out. But Merlin recognized the mouth forced open to its widest capacity and the eyes clenched shut. He was screaming silently, suffering alone. Merlin immediately removed himself from Mordred's mind and brought his hands away from his face.

"Mordred!" he whispered loudly, trying not to make a commotion, "Mordred!" Merlin put shaking hands on Mordred's shoulders, trying to remove him from his delusion. He grabbed the Druid's arms and tried to hold them still tried everything he could to snap him out of it. Suddenly Mordred went limp and he collapsed, on the couch thankfully.

"Mordred?" Merlin stood up and checked the Druid's pulse. It was very faint, but still there and steady. Merlin felt guilt weigh down on him. He'd been very sharp with him and he'd just been trying to help. He picked the smaller man up, one hand under his back and the other under the knees and positioned him more comfortably.

Mordred? Merlin tried to contact him. There was no response, as if he had never been there. Merlin was suddenly struck with an idea. He crept into the girls' room, which may or may not have been the most thought out plan in the world, but thankfully they were still asleep in a t-shirt and sweats. Merlin rushed over to Morgana. He gently shook her awake. She looked nervous when she saw who it was, but he told her it was important and she allowed him to lead her out of the room, but she left a note for Gwen to make sure she knew where she was.

He led her to where Mordred was lying on the couch, unconscious. She looked flighty all of a sudden, digging her fingers into his arm.

"What's wrong with him? Did you do that?" she asked.

"Not on purpose. I need your help. The spirits who invaded your mind the other night attacked Mordred tonight and when I tried to see who they were and what happened, and this was the result. I think they mentally tortured him." Merlin's tone was sad and sincere and Morgana picked this up.

"But how did they...Merlin, I know who they are."

"Careful," he warned, "I don't want this to happen to you." Her gaze darkened.

"It won't," she said firmly, "They wouldn't dare. I'm still working to keep them out."

"Well tell me quick before they get in then," Merlin urged.

"Well….it's just the ones who fought you, but somehow they've gotten more powerful. Nimeuh, Agravaine, Morgause, some of the druids that never forgave the Pendragons and joined…." Merlin knew the end of that sentence was 'me', but he didn't say it. He thought she sounded a little sad when she said Morgause. He understood and he let it go. "I think there are more," she continued, "But I'm not sure who. I just know they originate from the lake and they are very dangerous, even at this distance." Merlin swallowed, glancing at Mordred, and nodded.

"Thanks. Be careful, okay?" he asked her. She nodded, looking nervous as she too glanced at Mordred, and retreated to her room. Merlin settled next to Mordred, resting his hand on his chin thoughtfully. He wanted to keep an eye on the Druid to see if there were any changes, but fell asleep soon after talking with Morgana.

((()))

"You cannot stop us, Emrys…." hissed strange voices. Merlin recognized Morgause's and Nimeuh's voices, but none of the others. Probably enemies he never knew, or didn't know long enough to recognize their voice.

"Leave them alone! Why can't you let us go?" Merlin demanded.

"Because you still live while we do. You have destroyed us and we want to do you the honor of feeling what our losses were like…."

"These are old grievances! You are old enemies! I have no further quarrel with you! Why do you care anymore?"

"You destroyed us, Emrys...and you have corrupted Morgana and Mordred into thinking you love them still. You do not trust them. They are being misled and we want them back."

"Is there any way I can settle this with you?"

"We require one thing above all else….we must have it or we will never let you go," they hissed.

"What do you need?" Merlin asked hopefully. His spirits sank almost immediately, knowing there was no way they were going to require something easy like a piece of pie or something.

"The eternal soul of the young Arthur Pendragon." Merlin resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Of course it had to be something melodramatic like someone's immortal soul.

"No, sorry," Merlin said simply, "Can't do that." Then he added in a low growl, "Now get out of my head." He used all of his force to push the being out of his mind.

Merlin awoke, gasping for air and sweating profusely. His hands were shaking and he was paler than usual. Mordred was still unconscious next to him.

"Crap…" he muttered, looking over Mordred's condition again.

"Merlin!" he heard Arthur call from their room.

"Here!" he shouted back. Arthur came in, looking sleepy and disgruntled.

"Why'd you leave?" he asked, sounding slightly hurt. Merlin pointed to Mordred. Arthur looked surprised and opened his mouth to say something when Merlin said,

"He's unconscious. The spirits attacked him and I wanted to keep an eye on him." Arthur shut his mouth and said grumpily,

"I hope you know I was freezing without you there." Merlin shrugged, amused at Arthur's petulant tone. Arthur rolled his eyes and vowed to come back later. From there everyone woke up separately, each asking what happened to Mordred and Merlin explaining in tired tones to each of them. Freya didn't look at him as she went out to ponder her own existence at the lake. Gaius was the only one to think to ask how he was. How Merlin was.

"I'm okay, Gaius," came Merlin's robotic reply. Gaius raised an eyebrow. Or rather, Merlin thought he did, because the way Gaius's face was, it always looked like he was raising an eyebrow and judging you.

"Merlin," he said quietly, "You matter, too. Now I'm going to ask you again, how areyou?" Merlin sighed heavily.

"Just tired. I've been keeping up this aging spell for ages now, on top of all the other magic I've had to do to make everyone happy-"

"You've been holding an aging spell?!" Gaius interrupted, incredulous, "How do you normally look?" Merlin concentrated and released the spell for a minute, letting his old appearance crash down on him like a ton of bricks. Immediately, Merlin felt relieved and more tired at the same time. Gaius smirked, but still looked worried.

"So, you got old finally? What happened to the little boy that used to work for me?" he joked, before turning serious again, "Turning yourself young isn't as hard as turning yourself older, since you're going back in time rather than forward in it, but aging spells are difficult to hold at the best of times. Merlin….how long have you been holding this spell?" Merlin thought back.

"A year and a half, I think. It slips sometimes, but other than that…"

"Merlin! It's amazing you're not dead!" Gaius exclaimed, immediately looking worried, "You need to take a break, at least. And on top of all the other stress and magic you've done…I've underestimated you, as always."

"Don't worry about me, Gaius, I'm fine, I'm just a little tired-"

"No. As your mentor, friend, and physician, I'm telling you now, you're not doing that aging spell again until you've taken at least a day off to recuperate!" Merlin visibly deflated.

"But Arthur and-"

"I don't care what Arthur thinks and you shouldn't either," Gaius snapped, sounding a little fierce, as if Merlin had struck a nerve., "If he really loves you he wouldn't care."

"Okay, but I can see his point of view. I look like a wrinkled grape that's fried in the sun and-"

"Give yourself a little credit, Merlin, you've been alive a couple thousand years." Merlin shrugged and whined in defeat,

"I'm ugly this way, Gaius!" Gaius smirked at him and gave him a light smack to the back of the head.

"Vanity is not attractive, Merlin…." He stood and started to walk away and said as he did, "Seriously, don't go back to your younger form until tonight, at the very least. You should feel better then." He left the room and Merlin huffed. He hated everything about being old. It constrained him in ways he did not wish to be constrained.

((()))

Gwaine, of course, was the first one to see Merlin that afternoon. His eyebrows furrowed as he approached him.

"Aren't you that old sorcerer who Arthur wanted so long ago for questioning?" he asked, with no lack of hostility.

"No, I'm Merlin. Gwaine, it's me," Merlin said drowsily, yawning and scratching his beard. Gwaine raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously? Merlin's in the other room with…." he glanced into the room where Mordred lay sick on the couch. Then he peered into the old man's eyes and said quietly, "Oh my God, you are Merlin." Then he started to laugh. Merlin rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"W-what happened, Merlin?" Gwaine laughed.

"I'm old. Didn't it occur to you that being alive for this long would age me a bit?" Merlin snapped. Gwaine stopped laughing after another minute and apologized,

"Sorry. I never thought about it." Then his eyebrows furrowed again, "So wait, doesn't that mean you were the one who killed Uther?" Merlin frowned, looking suddenly fearful.

"That wasn't me. I mean it was, but it wasn't my fault." Gwaine nodded with a 'Hmm' and then suddenly grabbed Merlin's wrist and held it up.

"You're tinier than before, Merlin. Need to fatten you up." He laughed for a second before patting Merlin's flat stomach and wandering off, probably to find Bear. The dog was growing at a fast pace and its head was already up to Merlin's thigh.

Merlin sighed and retreated to find the other knights to find something to do. He quickly explained himself to them, and after laughter much like Gwaine's, they invited him to play Mario Cart with them. They had discovered the video game in the store at the very edge of the town that sold electronics, and Mario Cart had been among the games they sold. Gwaine, Percival, and Mordred had taken to it immediately. Mordred…. Merlin thought guiltily as he maneuvered the Wii remote. When he finished the game, he pushed Bear away from his lap and got up to go check on the Druid. There was no visible change, but when Merlin checked his pulse again, he felt it was weaker, barely there.

"Dammit…" he muttered, chewing the inside of his cheek nervously. Annoyed now with his old body, he changed back quickly, before thinking more about how to save him. He knew there was only one way he could save Mordred, and that was with magic, but he was terrified that if he did any more magic on the knight, he really would kill him. He flinched when he felt someone's hand on his back lightly and he turned around to see Arthur facing him, looking worried.

"How is he?" he asked. Merlin looked at him guiltily and his eyes flitted down to the floor as he replied,

"Worse." Arthur inhaled sharply.

"What should we do?" He realized what he was implying and Merlin frowned.

"We can't let him die, Arthur," he replied a little harshly.

"I know," Arthur said casually, as if they were discussing the weather, "I'm just wondering if it's a good idea to save him." Merlin frowned more and snapped back at him,

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Arthur looked affronted and removed his hand from Merlin's back. He looked shocked at Merlin's outburst and opened his mouth as if he was going to say something and then closed it. "Arthur, he's been back with us for a year now. You've seen how he acts around Gwaine and Percival and the others! He's back and he nearly died trying to tell me that we were in danger, as did Morgana!" Arthur looked slightly ashamed.

"I know, it's just a little hard to forget the fact that he-"

"I don't care what he did before, I am judging him on how he's acting now!" That's when Arthur got angry.

"Merlin, he killed me. And hundreds of others, knights of mine, friends of mine. How can I forgive that so easily? How canyou?" Merlin suddenly felt more guilty.

"I don't think I ever told you this," he said quietly, "And I wasn't really planning to. Would you like to know?" Arthur still looked angry, but he nodded tersely. Merlin took a deep breath and launched into his story.

"When we first met Mordred, the Druid boy who tried to escape, you remember, yeah? I told you I used to talk to the Great Dragon for advice, and so this was one of those times. I asked how we could help him. Kilgarrah - the dragon - told me to….he told me to let the boy go, let him be captured and executed by your father." Arthur's eyes hardened, glancing at Mordred. "He told me that he would be your downfall one day. But I didn't listen. How could that little Druid boy, so helpless, grow up to be your Bane? So I ignored his advice and helped you help him escape. That's why I was late, I was having moral dilemmas." Arthur looked torn. He didn't know how to feel about this. "I regretted the decision the minute we met him again, all those years later. I didn't trust him when you made him a knight. I never trusted him. And it may have been my blatant distrust that drove him to turn on you in the first place."

"How could you not tell me?" Arthur asked after a second of looking shocked, sounding hurt, "Merlin, that was animportant little detail you neglected to tell me!" Merlin scowled.

"Oh yeah, brilliant idea. Just walking into your chambers one day, and saying, 'Oh hey Arthur! You know that Druid boy you're going to help escape? He's destined to kill you one day, so just let him die please.' You never would have believed me!"

"You're my friend, of course I would have believed you. I trusted and still do trust your judgment." Merlin raised an eyebrow.

"Usually when I would tell you things like this, you told me not to be stupid and that that wasn't possible until something happened to make you believe me. And at that point, we were just getting to know each other, we weren't really all that close yet," he said quietly.

"No, I…." Arthur thought for a minute before crossing his arms across his chest and said haughtily, "You still should have told me!"

"Don't be thick, that wouldn't have done any good. You wouldn't have been able to process it through your thick skull," Merlin replied nastily.

"Are you calling me stupid?"

"Maybe I am. You're certainly acting it very well."

"That was important to tell me, Merlin, or else we never would have had this problem! We all loved him! All the knights and I were destroyed when he betrayed us, you could have prevented that!" Merlin's expression suddenly changed to something Arthur didn't recognize and he knew he'd gone too far.

"And that's what I have to live with every day," Merlin said, his voice barely audible, "That was my destiny. To live every day knowing I had made the wrong decision and all of Camelot would pay for it. Every decision I made would affect you and the kingdom and it was always 'you'd better not screw up, Merlin, or everyone dies' coming from Kilgarrah and then you had no idea whatsoever what the hell was going on, so I had to go behind your back on some things to save your ass or whatever. Do you have any idea what that's like?"

"I'm sorry," Arthur whispered, mortified by Merlin's words. "But don't….don't think it was easy for me either, Merlin." His voice got slightly stronger as he continued, "I had a lot of responsibility, too. You werenot the only one suffering and you act like you were, but you're wrong. So don't do that to me. Don't make it sound like I wasn't doing anything." Merlin could hear the hurt in Arthur's voice and felt guilty, but then, they both did at this point. Arthur looked at him seriously for a moment before turning and leaving quickly. They were both wrong and they both knew it.

((()))

Merlin sat stubbornly by Mordred's side as evening fell, checking his temperature and pulse often, and the Druid was not making much of an improvement at all. Gaius finally found him still sitting there, half asleep, and roused him.

"Merlin, have you been here all day?"

"I don't know what else to do. I don't know how to help him and I'm afraid to use my magic on him." Gaius sighed and told him,

"You need to go sleep. You didn't even eat with us, you just took your dinner in here. Why are you so determined to save him? He did kill Arthur."

"So you're on his side too?" Merlin burst out accusingly.

"So Arthur has come by to check on you. I see. I take it that didn't go so well?" Merlin frowned and looked down at his feet and answered,

"No, it didn't." Gaius raised an eyebrow.

"What happened?"

"It's a long story."

"If you're determined to sit here all night, we have time." Merlin quickly briefed him on the conversation and Gaius nodded.

"I understand where he's coming from, even if I don't necessarily agree."

"It's hard, Gaius. I know what he's done, but he's changed. Doesn't he deserve another chance? Or am I wrong?" Merlin asked, his eyes wide. Gaius shrugged,

"To be honest, Merlin, I don't know. It's controversial. Ultimately, I suppose, it is up to you. But for now, get some rest. I'll keep watch over him tonight." Merlin knew Gaius would do so gladly, but he felt guilty letting him stay there all night.

"Not tired…" he grumbled, but then yawned to prove his point.

"Merlin, go," he demanded. Merlin nodded and thanked him, not willing to argue with him or anyone anymore. So far he had pushed away Freya and Arthur, he didn't want to lose Gaius too.

When Merlin entered his bedroom, he sighed when he saw Arthur laying in his own bed for once. The sight made Merlin sad, but it was understandable. He would miss the comfort tonight, though. He pulled Arthur's blanket up and tucked it under the former king's chin, and Arthur didn't even stir. He was out cold, sleeping heavily, with his mouth open slightly. Merlin put a light hand on top of his head and leaned down, kissing his forehead gently.

"I love you," he whispered, knowing Arthur probably wouldn't hear or remember this, before he went across the room and crawled into his own bed.

((()))

Merlin had discovered, when he woke up, that Morgana had volunteered to watch Mordred in the morning to let Gaius sleep a little more. She caressed his hair lightly, looking down on him like a mother might look on her child. She seemed very worried about him and promised Merlin she wouldn't use any magic to try and help him, but only because it might kill him. He smiled and brought her breakfast and she thanked him politely.

Most everyone woke up late that morning, including Arthur, and with the exceptions of Merlin, Morgana, and Freya. Merlin blearily made a stack of pancakes for the knights and covered them with syrup and set up the table for breakfast after he had brought Morgana her pancakes. Freya didn't look at Merlin, but at one point, she tried to corner him to talk to him again, and he quickly made sure he was otherwise occupied.

In the midst of a conversation with Leon and Lancelot, Merlin froze, feeling something had been disturbed. Leon asked him what was wrong, but then a second later, they all knew it was wrong. A sharp shriek came from the other room and Morgana screamed,

"Merlin!"