CHAPTER NINE:

An Immortal Crossroads

The Cullen's were gathered in the living room at the back of the house which had wide windows that looked out across their property. It was the common rendezvous point for their frequent family discussions and currently the place where Evelyn was catching up on some much needed sleep after trying to make it to the Canadian border. The walls were painted in a light topaz and the high ceilings made the room freeing, as if the roof might not exist at all and instead the walls would open directly to the sky above.

Jasper liked this room. He said the mellow shades of fabric covering the throw pillows and furniture, that Esme chose to decorate in, helped keep everyone's emotions level. This was the one place in the house that Jasper could usually feel at ease when surrounded by all his family members, though today the conversation was making his family nervous because of the implications each word could hold. There were so many unknowns and variables involved that they couldn't afford to make a split-second decision. But that's exactly what Alice did as she began arguing the reasons her family should remain immortal.

"Just think of everything we would lose," she breathed exasperatedly. "We would kill ourselves from sheer exertion. Everything that comes so easily to us would be horribly difficult—the speed, the strength, the reflexes, even the abilities, all of it gone. You could dart across traffic, feeling like your old self, only to come to the realization much too late that you are much slower than you once were and get hit by a bus."

"Alice, have you already been prying into the future?" Carlisle asked, half amused and half curious.

"No, I haven't wanted to pre-live the ridiculous deaths of the people I love just because they are contemplating mortality. Trust me; it will not be the happily ever after you think. The world is a dangerous place for humans. It is designed to be a moving death trap and there is no way to prevent what is to come. You could walk down the street and fall into a manhole. And knowing pre-vampire Bella, it could happen."

Bella shot Alice a fierce growl, but Alice sighed.

"That's just a fact," she insisted. "Humans are much more susceptible to fault, failure, and ultimate destruction. I do not want to see that happen to any of you, so I will not watch for it."

"Alice is right," Carlisle spoke. "We need to decide, but then live with that decision. If we return to our human selves, we will have to separate our lives from each other. It will be too dangerous to constantly have some of us human and some of us not, it will be too easy to fall into our old patterns and habits and some of us will likely be killed accidently."

Carlisle looked ominously around at the faces of his family. Everyone seemed to be deep in thought. "And there is no returning to immortal life once we have left. You have to live, no pun intended, with the decision you make."

Bella spoke first; it came easily, without deliberation. "I made my choice. No, I fought for my choice and after everything we went through; I'm not willing to give it up. I spent my time as a human, and I'm much happier this way." She looked solemnly at Edward.

He smiled knowingly, as if the thought of becoming human again was absurd. "And I waited an eternity to find you, and I'm not willing to spend one day less of eternity with you. I won't spend a short mortal life with you when we could have an immortal forever. And besides, we do not know how Evelyn's venom would affect Renesmee. It could turn her fully human, it could do something completely different or it could do nothing at all. And I'm not willing to take that chance."

Carlisle nodded as well. He had often given thought to what his life would have been like had he never been attacked. He wondered what would have become of him. Would he have made such a difference in the lives of others given one mortal lifetime on earth?

As much as he had once struggled to come to terms with his new self, he didn't think he could leave this life. There was only one reason he would even contemplate it.

"My life has been long, but it has been blessed. I have Esme, we have our family. And if I may be so selfish, I too am not willing to give any of it up. It took me a long time to come to terms with the monster I became but somehow I managed to find some truth in this life and the way we live it, and I have been able to help many humans with the years of medicine I have mastered. I feel a need to continue that work, for as long as time will allow me, and I do not want to cut that short." He paused to swallow. This was the 'but' moment; the one and only reason he would turn away from immortality.

"Mortality no longer holds any draw for me, unless of course, you would choose otherwise Esme?" Carlisle took Esme's hands between his own. He intertwined their fingers around his, feeling the gold band of her wedding ring spin around her finger. "My life would not be complete without you, and I would rather live and die a mortal life with you than have an immortal existence without you by my side."

Carlisle pulled Esme closer to him, snaking his hands around her waist. She smiled up at him and her mind was filled with thoughts about how much she loved him. For a second it looked like Carlisle had been worried for nothing but then Esme's face seemed to fade into a distant and distorted memory. Edward grimaced at her thoughts. It had been years since Esme had given thought to the way she tried to die or the reason for it, but now that reason had become something of interest to her and she was debating it in her mind.

Esme had jumped from a cliff, wanting to kill herself after the death of her child. The memory no longer pained her, for it had been the reason Carlisle had found her, but now it held another truth. Esme had tried to kill herself because her human child—her biological son—had perished. She had come so close to being a mother and then lost it all.

But she could have that again, if she was human, couldn't she? And this time it could be perfect because now she had Carlisle. They could live a human life together and have biological children that would be a part of each of them. But what would become of her immortal children? She couldn't say goodbye to them. And that's the problem with humanity. All too often you had to say goodbye. Esme couldn't ever think of living without Carlisle but as a human they would both eventually pass on. And what if their afterlife wasn't one that they shared? What would happen to their forever? What if there was no forever? Esme couldn't do that. She couldn't leave her children and she couldn't even think about saying goodbye to Carlisle one day. She felt sick even having the ideas run through her mind.

Suddenly, her thoughts turned to something that made her happier. The thoughts almost flashed before her eyes like pictures, and she seemed to light up at their presence—Bella, Edward and Renesmee happy and together, with Jacob and his pack always watching, always protecting. Then it turned to Alice and Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie, even Evelyn had secured a place in her vision already. In a weird way, Esme had gotten what she wanted. She had become a mother, and even a grandmother. Then her vision shifted again, this time to the handsome face of a tall, blond vampire, with deep golden eyes. Carlisle was the love of her life, and with him she was happy. Her life was already what she had always wanted.

Esme's sudden distance worried Carlisle, who spun her to face him. The urgency in his face broke her trance and she giggled. "Of course I want to remain a vampire. I have you, our family, what more could I ask for?"

Carlisle chuckled, his face relaxed. But Edward heard the mental sigh of relief that Carlisle released. Then just as suddenly Carlisle's thoughts jumped to Edwards mind, this time with purpose. Is she telling me the truth, Edward? Carlisle asked silently. Edward nodded his head from across the room. Yes.

"Alice?" Jasper asked, in a quaint southern drawl. He already knew what she would say, but he wanted to give her the opportunity to outwardly deny now that she had listened to some of their families thoughts. He had to be sure.

"Do you even have to ask?" Alice had been sitting quietly with her fingers pressed to her temples and Edward had the fleeting suspicion she was trying to supress visions of the human futures of the family if that is the decision anyone made. She had been transcribing the American alphabet into every foreign language she knew in alphabetical order, starting with Algerian. But as each of the Cullen's decided on immortality the tension in Alice's face seemed to subside.

Jasper kissed her forehead gently, without disturbing her trance. "Alice and I are happy; my brief hours as a part human were as close to mortality as I want to get ever again." That got a chuckle from most of the family.

"Well, I'm not about to break the streak," Emmett said with an easy grin. "Besides, I like being the strongest person in the house." Emmet flexed his arms, grinning at Rose, but she stared off into space, lost in thoughts of her own. Rosalie had been experiencing a lot of changes over the past couple of weeks. Her whole outlook on immortality and this curse she had always felt being a vampire was, suddenly changed when she found the little girl, with blond curls and green eyes hiding in the corner of the garage.

She didn't know what it was, she couldn't put it into words, but a strange feeling had been sinking itself into the very depths of Rosalie's body, as if it was trying to attach itself to her soul. She looked at Evelyn asleep on the couch, and her frozen immortal heart seemed to shudder.

She looked at the pretty angel faced child and everything around her seemed to stop and all she was concerned about was her safety, her happiness, her life. Rose would spend every second of eternity caring for this precious child. And that's when Rosalie realized she had fallen in love, not the same kind of love she felt for Emmett, but she knew that she would die as easily for this little girl as she would for her mate. She wanted to be in her life forever. She wanted to be her mother.

"Rose, babe, you have to say something, I mean, I don't want to be human, but if you do, then I guess we need to talk about this. What are you thinking?"

Edward smirked. "You have no idea," he murmured.

"No, I don't want to be human, I want, I-I…I want her!" Rosalie could barely get the words out. Jasper seemed to read the longing, the desire she felt for the girl, as a threat and took a quick step between Rosalie and the couch where Evelyn slept.

Alice frowned, apparently confused by something she had already seen. "That's definitely not how I saw it," she hummed, searching the future again. Everyone else looked confused now too, only Edward seemingly understanding what Rosalie meant.

Seeing Jasper's response to Rosalie, Emmett stood slowly, wrapping his hands gently, but firmly around Rosalie's shoulders. "Babe, I thought you'd have this self-control thing all worked out by now, but I guess even the best of us can be tempted." He smirked. "But she's just a little girl, you can't think of it that way."

Edward burst out laughing so hard that he spooked Bella, who jumped and then demanded an explanation. The request was mirrored in Carlisle's and Esme's faces as well.

"Oh, god, Emmett, I don't want to kill her." Rose pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"What are you talking about then? You've been so distant these past couple of weeks, like your head isn't even attached. I feel like you're becoming a totally different person right in front of me. Tell me what's going on inside your beautiful head, I hate having to ask Edward for a running commentary!"

"Rosalie's in love," Edward whispered.

There was a collective gasp.

"With the girl," Edward clarified quickly, realizing his mistake.

The gasp was followed by a collective sigh.

Alice exhaled happily, "Okay that makes a lot more sense. Jazz, you have to stop jumping to conclusions all the time, you confuse me."

But the rest of the family was still waiting for an explanation, which now only Alice and Edward seemed to be privy to.

"I want her, Emmett," Rose said gesturing to Evelyn. She couldn't even take her eyes off the girl. "I want to take care of her, forever. I want her to be ours. I love her."

Rosalie was talking a mile a minute, begging for Emmett to understand. After she finished talking, and Emmett just stared at her stone-faced, her eyes fell to the floor. But then he surprised her by pulling her into a hug that would snap steel.

"Babe, why didn't you just say that in the first place?" he said rocking her from side to side.

Rosalie shook her head back and forth, "I was confused. I didn't understand what I was feeling. I knew what loving a child was like, I mean, we've had Renesmee in our lives for the past twenty years, but I didn't really understand it the way Edward and Bella always described it, but now I do. I just couldn't put it into enough words to tell you because for as long as I've been immortal I've been bitter and angry at the things I couldn't have. When I found you, part of the anger went away, but not being able to have a child," Rosalie sighed, "that was something I always had to fight off. Then Evelyn appeared and that feeling disappeared completely and I didn't understand it. I mean, I know she's not really ours, but I want her to be. I know I didn't give birth to her the way mothers do, the way Bella did with Renesmee, but I don't care. I want her. And I want to be immortal. I want her and our immortal life together, Emmett. It will be perfect, she's perfect."

Emmett grinned like a love sick puppy. "So I guess that makes me a dad, huh?"

"Well, only if she wants you," Edward teased, punching Emmett on the shoulder.

Emmet's face fell for a moment and then he shook it off. "Of courses she'll want me. I'm awesome."

Bella chuckled pulling both Rosalie and Emmett into a hug. "Congratulations, welcome to the wonderful world of parenting."

Emmett frowned slightly, rubbing the back of his head, muttering something under his breath. "Edward, you call Jacob and tell him to keep that mangy pack of his away from here, I'm not having any of that imprinting junk."

Edward smirked. Carlisle shook hands with Emmett and hugged Rosalie with one arm. "She's a perfect fit for you. She almost looks like she belongs with you two. I'm sure she'll be very happy here."

Rosalie absently stroked the blond curls that fell across Evelyn's face as she slept. "I know. Isn't that weird," she mused. "She's like a little angel, sent here, just for us."

Esme and Alice shrieked, speaking quickly in bated breath. Edward and Bella rolled their eyes, motioning to leave for a few hours of hunting, as Alice made plans to renovate one of the spare bedrooms on the second floor. The words pink and princess flew out of her mouth so quickly that Emmett barely had time to object.

"No, no way. She's going to be my daughter, and she's going to like football, and racing and cars."

"Too late, I already saw it, she's going to love it," Alice said as she and Esme skipped off to the garage, waking one of the many sports cars and zooming off towards Seattle.

Jasper sighed and mentally debated whether he should follow. "They're probably going to need more trunk space, do you mind if I take your jeep?" he asked Emmett, not overly thrilled at the prospect of spending a day with Alice and Esme on a shopping rampage. They had finally put the wild days of shopping for Renesmee to rest. But anything that made Alice happy, made Jasper happy, so he shrugged it off, and he couldn't help but be excited at the thought of the little girl joining the family. Rosalie had struggled with the choice that had been forced upon her for so long that it was a pleasant change to feel nothing but joy radiating from her, she was almost unrecognizable.

"Fine," Emmett growled, "but so help me god, Jasper, if you don't bring home at least one football—"

Jasper threw his hands up, "I'll see what I can do." Carlisle chuckled softly from somewhere up in his study where he had gone to collect some paperwork.

Rosalie threw her arms around Emmett's neck, now that they were alone. "Are you really serious about this Emmett? I mean, I kind of sprang it on you."

He nodded. "I had a sneaking suspicion that something like this was happening. You've been really different lately, but in a good way," he assured her with a kiss. "We'll be great parents. You'll be an amazing mom. But we are teaching her how to play football!"

"You'll have to be careful with her though. She seems to be more breakable that Renesmee," Rose said looking at each of Evelyn's precious, tiny features.

"She's clumsy too, just like Bella!" Emmett joked.

"And sweet like Esme, and patient like Carlisle. She has a sense of humor and dimples in her cheeks when she laughs, just like you."

"And she's beautiful, just like her mother," Emmett said, pulling Rosalie off the ground to kiss her fiercely. Emmett broke the kiss and scrunched his eyes. "Only one problem, how do you tell a seven year old that she's the perfect immortal child for us?"

Rosalie smiled against his lips, "We'll break it to her slowly."