CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Part II

'Forever was not long enough'

"How was school," Rose asked, still shaken up by the events at the house.

"Great!" Evelyn said happily, climbing into the back of the jeep.

"We're going out for ice cream," Emmett said keeping his voice light.

"Why?"

"Don't you like ice cream?"

"Duh, but I have homework. And mom said I have to do my school work before dinner and dinner comes before desert. Come on dad, keep up."

"Well your mom and I are kind of in trouble with Grandpa Carlisle and Grandma Esme so we aren't going home yet," Emmett said frowning.

"What did you do?" Evelyn asked as if scolding them.

Emmett cringed, "We broke some of Esme's things and now your grandparents are in a fight."

Evelyn nodded, "Grandma Esme hates when things get broken."

Emmett frowned.

"What did you break anyway?" Evelyn asked as they drove past the ice cream shop. Emmett had missed the turn because his mind was preoccupied. He just looked at Rose and she sighed.

"A lamp, the wall between the hall and the garage, the blue vase on the dining room table, the dining room table, that wooden end table that was beside the couch," Rose rhymed off the things she remembered.

"Oh, and I think we destroyed that picture that was on the wall. Why was there only one picture hanging on that wall?" Emmett mused.

Evelyn nodded. "What were you doing?"

Rose and Emmett both coughed and choked on their next words.

"Your dad tripped," Rose said finally.

"Well I would be mad too, Grandma loves those things."

"How did you know?" Rose asked.

"Cause Grandma told me lots of stories about them."

"Like what?" Rose asked curiously.

"Like that blue vase was a gift from Grandpa Carlisle the first time they got married. Did you know that they have been married twenty-two times? There was some other stuff like that but I don't remember it all. They were nice stories, you should ask Grandma to tell you. She said everything she had she kept for a special reason, cause it all meant something important to her."

Rosalie dropped her head in her hands. Of course it would have been a twelve year old child to make her see the error of her ways. "Oh, Emmett we didn't destroy her things, we destroyed her memories. No wonder she was so angry," Rose sighed.

Emmett drummed the steering wheel. "And I don't suppose money can replace those."

"Not this time I'm afraid."

"I guess money doesn't by happiness after all."

"No daddy, but money buys ice cream. You promised and this is the third time you drove by the ice cream shop. Is this just a trick? Was I supposed to do my homework first?" Evelyn pouted.

"No pumpkin, sorry, we're going right now," Emmett said making a quick U-turn. Someone blew their horn at him obscenely.

"Edward, I don't need a babysitter. I'm a grown woman. I am more than capable of walking on my own."

"I know I'm just worried about you, Esme. Please don't send me away," Edward pouted.

"Edward, I can't talk to you right now. I'm angry and upset and I don't want you to be around me when I'm like that. I won't be gone long, I promise. I'm just going to blow off some steam."

"Okay, but if you're not back in an hour then I'm coming to find you."

"And that's why you're my favourite," Esme said smiling.

Edward's eyes twinkled. "I always knew I was your favourite."

Esme chuckled. "Just don't tell the others."

"I promise."

Esme wandered aimlessly, running as far as her legs would carry her in the time Edward had allotted her. Then she started the same exact path back towards the house, this time at a slow, leisurely, human pace. She needed time to think.

Had Carlisle really accused her of loving material objects more than she loved him? Esme laughed out loud. It was preposterous. How could he ever think that possible? Had the last how many decades meant nothing to him?

She kicked angrily at a log which splintered beneath her foot. He didn't understand. It wasn't that the material objects were more important that their relationship, it was that they had represented their relationship, key moments of their existence together that Esme wanted to keep immortalized for all time.

Edward had been worried, so against his word he had been following Esme, running down wind so she wouldn't smell him and he stayed close enough to listen to her thoughts. He wasn't pleased that he was invading her privacy but he was worried she would do something reckless. And Carlisle wasn't here to talk sense into her.

Esme thought longingly about the memories she attached to the objects that had been broken today and suddenly Edward understood.

The picture had been a gift from Carlisle. Edward remembered the day. It had been the first time Carlisle had told Esme he loved her. The vase had been a wedding present, their first wedding. The end table was built from the same wood that Carlisle's cross was made out of: the cross that hung over his desk in his office. It symbolized their undying love for each other. Each of the tokens had held a specific memory or emotion. Esme had not decorated the house with relics from the past, but with memories of their life together.

As she thought through her methodical arranging of the house Edward picked up on objects that represented all of the members of their family. Esme had made the house a time capsule of their memories together. He had just never noticed and perhaps neither had Carlisle. Edward had to straighten it all out.

"I've been so stupid" Carlisle said dropping his head into his hands. Edward sat across from him in his office. Esme had returned to her room after walking through the forest and upon hearing the Volvo pull into the lane had locked the door again. She was still angry. Carlisle had cooled off after spending a mind numbing evening at the hospital and because he could not focus had driven to Seattle and back. But he had missed Esme terribly. He longed to hold her in his arms and bury his face in her sweet smelling hair. If only he could erase the last several hours. He would make it right.

"Love is blind," Edward said.

"No, I was a horrible person. What kind of husband says things like that? I owe Esme a greater apology than even I know how to give."

"She'll forgive you," Edward said. "She missed you too."

Carlisle looked at him knowingly. "I assume you pulled these memories from her head."

"I'm sorry Carlisle, I couldn't help it. I can't bear to see you two fight. I've always sort of idolized you. I always hoped that Bella and I could model our relationship after you and Esme."

"Thank you Edward, that means a lot coming from you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and beg for forgiveness."

"Hopefully you won't have to do too much begging."

Carlisle shook his head, "Whatever it takes." He pulled a leather journal from one of the locked compartments of his desk.

Edward nodded. "I know."

"Esme?" Carlisle waited for ten minutes outside the door. There was no response.

"Es?" Still nothing.

"Esme?" Not a sound. Not a movement. Carlisle felt his stomach churn.

"Esme, please," he whispered letting his forehead rest against the wood.

He sounded so pathetic out there. Esme couldn't bear it any longer. She wasn't heartless. She was a good person: a kind and loving soul. That's why she and Carlisle had fit so perfectly. And regardless of what they said to each other she loved that man out there and there was nothing he could say that would change that. She had already forgiven him. She could be angry but he was already forgiven. He was her sun and she couldn't let him go. She couldn't be without him any longer. She needed his warmth.

"It's unlocked," she whispered. After hearing him come home she had locked it but then immediately unlocked it because she didn't want to keep him away any longer.

She was lying on the bed, facing away from him. Carlisle let out a shaky breath. She was a vision. He slowly walked towards the bed. "May I?"

"It's your bed too," she said indifferently.

Carlisle climbed up beside her. He lay close to her without actually touching her. He couldn't bear to feel her recoil from him. For several moments they laid in silence, only the sound of their long drawn out breaths filling the air. There was no need to breathe; they did it for the sole purpose of being able to inhale the intoxicating scent of each other.

"Esme, there is something I have to show you. If you're too angry to look at me I understand, but please just listen then."

Esme didn't turn, but she had been watching Carlisle, her angel, in the window. His reflection didn't do him justice and it took all her effort not to turn to him and run her fingers along his face.

Carlisle cleared his throat and flipped open the leather bound journal he had been cradling in his hand. He flipped to somewhere in the middle of the book and began to read.

Dear Esme,

Two weeks ago you took your first steps as a vampire. You awoke with fiery red eyes but I knew that soon they would turn a beautiful gold that would match the honey caramel of your hair.

I watched you run through the forest and my cold heart seemed to beat, almost as if it had found a rhythm to your footsteps. I told myself to take it slow, ease you into the transition. I didn't want to frighten you. But the more I looked at you the bigger the ache in my soul seemed to get.

Every thought I have lately is of you. It is seriously starting to annoy Edward.

Esme couldn't help but grin at that and Carlisle could feel her smile.

I see you when I close my eyes. I hunt for your scent when you're out of my sight. I go to work and find myself consumed with worry for you. Today I actually drove home in the middle of my shift. I stopped on the outskirts of the property just to listen to the sound of your voice as you sat and talked with Edward. I could have stayed there forever and just listened to you.

I've realized something about myself Esme and it has caused concern and worry to haunt my hours. I am falling deeply in love with you and my greatest fear is that you will not reciprocate those feelings. What if you cannot find it in yourself to love me back? I'm not sure I'd survive. Every living moment I have now is for you. I want to make you happy. I want to be with you forever.

You have taken a piece of my soul with you and I give the rest freely. If there is a god above and my soul is not yet damned I pray he bless me in his good graces and give me one chance with you Esme. My love. My heart.

Carlisle stopped reading. Esme was still beside him. She had been thinking about those first weeks as well. It was strange to hear things from Carlisle's perspective. It was enlightening to hear his thoughts and feelings for her at the time, many of which she secretly shared for the handsome doctor, but was too afraid to say. How she ever survived those first months without his touch was beyond her.

"I'm so sorry Esme. Edward explained everything to me. I'm sorry I didn't understand before, but I do now. I really do."

He swallowed hard. Esme smirked. She knew Edward had been following her.

"I've kept this journal since the day we met. It's held my memories of our time together. Sometimes I needed a way to remind myself that you're real. Sometimes I wonder how a creature like me could be so lucky; how I could be so blessed to have found you. Sometimes I just need to hold it to remind myself that you are mine."

Esme was melting. She was literally turning into a puddle of emotion as Carlisle spoke.

"It is our story in a sense. I keep it locked in my office. And I understand why you were so upset Esme, because if anything ever happened to it I would be devastated. It is where I've kept my most precious thoughts of you, afraid that somehow my vampire brain would not be able to contain every thought, feeling, and emotion I had for you from our first meeting until eternity. And I want to keep them all. I needed something tangible that I could pour my love into. I just wanted you to know that I understand. I was a pompous, pig-headed fool. I treated you horribly and I will spend our forever together making it up to you, if you'll let me."

It was quiet for a long time. "Please say something, mi amore."

Oh god. Italian. Carlisle knew she couldn't resist him when he spoke those words to her. My love. Mi amore. Even though she had been lying down her knees turned to jelly.

"Carlisle," she whispered. He had shared with her a most beautiful gift and she couldn't be angry with him any longer. He had pierced her heart again with his love. Every time she felt herself falling more in love with him, she thought it must be a dream, but she could physically feel their souls becoming one, entwining themselves together.

"Yes my love?" he asked breathless. Was he forgiven?

"Kiss me," she said simply and Carlisle felt a surge of joy rip through his chest. He had longed for her taste, her touch. He ached for it. And now he was happy to have it.

Esme turned into his chest and Carlisle pulled her close, kissing the top of her head. He crushed her to his front until neither of them would have been able to breathe even if they wanted. His lips moved along her forehead. They trembled, finding a new passion to love by. Their argument had only seemed to deepen the emotion they already shared for each other. They could both feel it.

His lips found her cheeks and then her chin. He was determined to cover every inch of his wife with sweet kisses. Esme shuddered under his passion. Her sensitive skin reacted to his lips as his hot breath lingered over her. She felt a burning fire flicker in the pit of her stomach.

Carlisle was making his way down her neck and could feel her swallow. He smiled against her skin, her perfect porcelain skin. His fingers made quick work of the buttons on the front of her shirt. He found her collar bone and dragged his lips across it. He moved down her sternum and to the flat plane of her abdomen. He felt her skin shiver beneath him and he grinned. Esme ran her fingers through his hair. Carlisle knew he was pleasing his wife. He encircled her navel with a kiss.

"Carlisle please!" she begged breathlessly.

He nodded urgently and together they found release as their icy bodies melted together in a heated inferno of love and desire.

After what seemed like eternity, they lay between the sheets, skin on skin, just breathing and sighing. Carlisle whispered warm words of Italian in her ear and Esme knew that forever was simply not long enough. It would never be enough to satiate the burning hunger she felt within or quench the fiery passion she held in her heart for Carlisle.