Disclaimers: Don't own any part of Gundam Wing nor it's characters. Merely borrowing them for a little torture.

Warnings: Shounen-ai (because I suck at yaoi) , mildly blasphemous in terms of my depiction of heaven. Not a death fic… ish. Usual 1x2, 3x4, and with 5 hanging in the wind. The poor darling.

Notes: Betaed by Keiran. Thank you.

Chapter 14: Explanations Vs Lies

Are you sure that lying won't get me thrown into Hell or something? Duo asked Solo for the umpteenth time, giving Heero a sidewise glance. He found it odd that the Japanese man hadn't pinned him to the ground and growled at him. Normally, Heero would have tied an intruder to a chair and held live wires to his face, demanding an explanation of how he got past all his security measures.

It was definitely a matter of pride with him.

"No, your entry processing has already been done. In fact, God has also sent out a 'Welcome to Heaven Induction Training Course' invitation to you. My colour printer died on me, so I couldn't give you a hard copy," Solo assured.

Duo was once again caught staring at empty air with his jaw hanging and his eyes bugged out. "What?"

"What?" Heero swung back to face Duo, having been snapped from gaping at the lovely spread of dinner on his table.

Duo flushed deeply. "Uh… nothing, I just… well… er… What are you doing back here?" Stupid, stupid, stupid. Never bring to attention the fact that you were not supposed to be in here, he scolded himself.

Heero had an almost amused smile on his face as he started peeling off his coat, dropping it carelessly onto the couch. "I live here remember?"

Duo sighed, glad that Heero hadn't started the third degree quite yet. He frowned at the article of clothing currently flopped onto the three seater. Over the years, Heero had managed to overcome some of his training. At first Duo had been rather delighted at Heero's inner childish self being revealed, then he quickly realised that two messy people within one home only led to insects and rats. Not wanting his lover to revert, Duo had decided that he needed to take up the mother hen position within the home. Of course, Wu Fei had a field day for a long time after, and whenever he was bored, bringing up the fact that despite the hair and such, Duo was the 'onna' – woman – in the relationship after all.

"Yeah, I thought you had another appointment tonight," Duo said, moving around Heero, automatically picking up the coat and bringing it into his room to hang it up. He decided to shy away from the word 'date'.

"I do…" Heero sounded confused, somewhere from the vicinity of the living room. "With you."

"Me?" Duo whirled around in surprise, dropping the article of clothing on the floor.

Heero was walking toward him, a soft true smile gracing his features. "I believe the email I received told me I should be home tonight. Someone would be preparing dinner for me. That someone signed off as Adrian."

"What the…" Solo gasped before exploding into laughter. Their Chairman was more technology savvy than anyone had ever guessed.

How did this happen? I send that email to Relena and another one to Heero telling him to go to her house! Duo screamed silently. How did Heero get that mail instead?

"Uh… God is good? All the time?" Solo snickered. "Look, just enjoy it. Because tomorrow you are leaving."

Duo's expression darkened at that thought.

"Adrian?" Heero called out, touching Duo on his shoulder, jolting the other man from his reverie.

"I'm sorry," Duo said, feeling a little uncomfortable at Heero's proximity. He edged away from the Japanese, skirting around him. "I wasn't paying attention." And why was Heero being so friendly and touchy feely with Adrian? Once again, Duo felt slightly stupid to be jealous of himself.

"Something is wrong," Heero said a little nervously. It was as if he was also rather nervous of the current situation. He turned and followed Duo.

Duo nibbled his lower lip indecisively. How was he going to tell Heero why he was… jealous? Uncomfortable? All the above? He nearly jumped a foot when warm, strong hands settled on his shoulders.

"I am also rather uncomfortable about this," Heero breathed, his voice low. Duo could feel the deep rumble within his body. "But Quatre had a point. I need to start living again, because Duo was life. I wouldn't be able to see Duo again if I don't try to live."

Duo turned slightly, his expression incredulous. "Qua… tre…?"

Heero continued with a slight nod of his head. "I love Duo, I don't think there is someone else that I will love more than him, but I think that my heart is big enough for me to try to accept another person. Look, Adrian, I have to be totally honest that perhaps the whole reason I am willing to try this with you is because of Duo's heart within you but I do see you as another person. You're not Duo by any stretch of an imagination."

At this point, Duo was trying really hard not to snigger. He didn't know whether to thank Quatre for his interference or to kill him.

XXxxXX

Heero wasn't the least perturbed when he stepped into the room to see Adrian standing there. Quatre had known about it. The blond would just be the type to help Adrian get into their… his apartment. He really needed to stop thinking in plurals. He was sure he wasn't ready to take the next step yet and open his heart to another person. His apartment however…

He felt his heart rolled over as he saw the spread Adrian had prepared. This was familiar. He has seen this somewhere before. Why did it cause him so much emotional unrest?

His eyes narrowed as Adrian casually picked up his discarded coat to hang in his closet. Part of him itched to pick the boy up and throw him out of the apartment. This was his and Duo's apartment. Just who was this interloper to waltz in here and act like this was his home?

Just who was this… person to know how Duo did things?

That was it! The dinner. No wonder it looked so familiar, Duo made it for him once. He felt his blood starting to boil. How could Quatre do something like this to him? How could Quatre tell a perfect stranger about the private moments of their lives?

But this wasn't Adrian's fault. He managed to modulate his tone to at least one that didn't frighten the sometimes fidgety boy off. It wasn't exactly that difficult because something about Adrian made him rather nervous and flustered. But he needed to explain to Adrian. He did agree to this date. He was willing to try. But try was all he wanted to do actually. Nothing more than that for now. His heart wasn't ready to take the pain.

"But in future, I would appreciate if you tell me if you were coming into my apartment," Heero admonished. He really didn't like the fact that Adrian might have found some stuff about Duo. He knew he was making this apartment into a shrine for his dead lover, but there was just nothing he could do about it. He wasn't willing to part with reminders of what life was and could have been, quite yet.

Adrian flinched like he was just slapped.

Oh shit, was Adrian hurt? Heero tried to remember the tone he used. It wasn't bad, was it? He wasn't too… firm was he?

"I'm sorry," Adrian muttered, turning toward the kitchen area.

Heero frowned at the dejected stance of the boy. He stood near the bedroom door not sure what he had said wrong or how to make it better. He watched as the boy walked around the kitchen, getting the cutlery ready and so forth. He was amazed at the ease and the familiarity of the boy within his kitchen. It was as if he had been cooking here for ages. For some reason, he was achingly reminded of Duo. Why? This wasn't the first time it had happened. He had been constantly barraged with reminders of Duo, every time he hung around Adrian. Was it some sort of a sign from above? But Heero was an atheist, he really didn't believe in signs. His brows furrowed in confusion as he watched the boy move around.

There was that tilt of the hips when he closed the drawer, or the way he handled two plates along with a wine glass, or the way he hummed in the kitchen was practically screamed his dead lover. Why was Heero dwelling on this again? Just because Adrian cooked food like Duo did, cleaned up after Heero like Duo did, moved in the kitchen like Duo did, that doesn't mean he was…

"Duo," Heero whispered longingly. He nearly kicked himself when Adrian stiffened. He had etiquette lessons from the girls, that it was completely not done, for a guy to mention another person, whom he was romantically involved with, or even remotely interested in, when he was on another date with another person.

He jumped as the plates dropped onto the kitchen counter, clattering loudly. Adrian whirled around and the next moment Heero had an armful of hugging boy-who-had-his-dead-lover's-heart and a mouthful of heaven.

"Duo," Heero moaned again, unsure of why he said his lover's name. This wasn't Duo, it couldn't be Duo, but somehow it felt like Duo. Only Duo made him feel like this.

"Let's not bother about names," Adrian whispered huskily. "Let tonight be just about us. Let me be who you want me to be."

Heero pulled back, staring at the other boy in his arms. In his mind's eye he saw the trace of deep chestnut hair and the hint of bright violet eyes smiling back at him. "Duo…"

Adrian smiled sadly, his eyes clouded with unshed tears. "Yes, Heero. Let me be who you want me to be." He dove in, kissing Heero fiercely, leaving the other man breathless and limp. "Take me to bed," he offered huskily.

The Japanese swallowed convulsively, torn. The invitation had been made but should he accept it? Was he betraying Duo's memory? Would it always stand between him and another person? His heart missed a beat, as Adrian looked him straight in the eye, the intensity of the look so alike his former lover's. Fingers ghosted over his cheek.

"No, don't think about the past. Just think of tonight. Let this be my…" Adrian swallowed. "…my gift to you. Don't think of betrayal, or the past, or the future. This of what you want, right now…" He barely finished the sentence before a pair of hungry lips descended on his and urgent arms wrapped tightly around his body.

Yes, that was right, Heero thought. Don't think, let it just be this night. Let it be his farewell to Duo, the one he never got. Yes, he also knew it was wrong but a part of Duo was alive in this person. He was willing to forget that this was another man, just for tonight. He was tired of fighting himself, fighting the memory of what was.

Letting go was good.

They tumbled toward the bedroom, dinner forgotten. If Heero weren't so filled with need, he would have laughed at the memory of the other time dinner being thwarted as such. If he remembered correctly, the same exact food was laid out on the table as tonight. His mind did wonder how Adrian could have duplicated it so well, even if it was with the help of Quatre. The boy couldn't cook to save his life.

Then hands and lips started tearing the clothes off him and the rest of what he wanted to ponder fled with his control. That night, he had only one thought:

Duo was back, he was in his arms.

XXxxXX

Heero hadn't slept this well in ages. The last time he remembered was Duo still next to him. He felt languorous, satisfied, and still pleasantly drowsy. He found it odd that his guard was no longer in place and despite feeling extremely vulnerable, he didn't even felt vaguely threatened by it. Then he remembered the wonderful night he had spent making love to Duo the night before.

As usual, it was a night filled with passion, filled with perfection.

They had sat up for a while after that, Duo snuggled up to Heero as they paged through a photo album, laughing at the memories they had created over the years. He had missed the familiar weight of a head on his shoulder while the rest of Duo's body curled and rested against him on a couch. Heero's expert at manipulating the pages of the album one handed was the testimony of the times Duo and him rested like that.

Until he realised that Duo was dead. Still dead that was. He sat up in shock.

Adrian! It wasn't Duo! It was Adrian.

But how did Adrian manage to know all the things that Duo knew? Adrian had spoken about their memories as if he was Duo.

He looked around, seeing an empty space beside him and experienced a split second of disappointment before it was ruthlessly squashed. How many times did he have to tell himself that Adrian was not Duo? Then why did it feel like Duo had abandoned his bed after sex, which his partner never did. He ran his hand over the sheets next to him. They were still warm. That means Adrian just left a moment ago.

It didn't once cross his mind that perhaps Adrian didn't leave. It was already a done deal that Heero Yuy would never keep anymore partners in life. Everyone he cared for would eventually leave him. He as jolted from self-pity by a loud thud in the living room. He was out bed in a shot, knowing instinctively that it was Adrian.

"Adrian?!" He called out only to be met with silence. Fearing the worst, Heero sprinted out to the hall to find a prone body lying next to the TV. "Adrian!" He yelled, skidding to a stop next to the unconscious boy. He picked Adrian up, turning him over. A quick check of the prone boy's pulse told Heero that… "No! Not you too! You can't be dead!" He laid the boy on his back, quickly performing CPR on him.

"I won't let you! You're not going to leave me again, Duo!"

"I'm sorry, Heero, but I have to."

Heero stilled, his eyes drifting slowly upwards, toward a bright point of light. Within that light he saw three somewhat blurred figures. A huge biker dude in a suit, another man in soft cream clothes and…

"Duo!"

tbc…