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Círdana spent several minutes explaining that after millennia living in Middle-earth, he-or she-had finally realized what she had been missing this entire time- femininity. She decided to travel to the New World to start a new harbor, as Thranduil and a few other Elves insisted on sticking around. She said she didn't really regret making the promise to stay until all the Elves had left, because she had made some rather good...friends.
They all listened to this with glazed eyes and promptly asked for a boat. Círdana told them that she had only one elf boat in store, and she was reluctant to part with it, as the stupid Elves never sent them back...
Elrond got a strangely steely look in his eyes. "I've got this, guys. Time for me to show off my skills."
He and Círdana went to the back, and Elrond emerged twenty minutes later with a grin, even if his lipstick was smeared.
"She's not completely female, let's just leave it there," was all he would say.
Círdana was more than willing to part with the boat after that, and they waved goodbye from the sequined deck. Well, everyone waved but frodo, who was tied to a pole, screaming.
Galadriel raised her eyebrows at Elrond. "You must really be something at that."
He winked. "Too bad you'll never not, hmm, vagina-bearer?"
She smacked him upside the head just as Gandalf looked strangely thoughtful.
They watched the shores of wherever the port was recede and felt at peace as they went off on their way.
"Wait..." said Elrond. "What about our original boat? Why didn't we just sail back out on it?"
They were silent.
"Shut up, Elrond," said Galadriel wisely.
Bilbo looked up from eating the hem of Galadriel's dress and nodded sagely.
The End
I guess this is the last chapter, because that says The End up there. I'm lazy, this story is ridiculous, and I've lost my inspiration. A big thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, or follwoed this story! Thanks for reading! :)