I noticed all the errors of the last chapter. Sorry it was late but I'll try not to have as many in this one. Don't be afraid to review, I can take it ;).
To Callie, the hospital had been a rather larger place. Now it just felt suffocatingly small. Even with the lights going out ever minute she still somehow keep catching glimpses of Arizona trying to help out patients. After 5 long hours of trying to calm the ER down, now 3am, the commotion had finally died down. Giving Callie a chance to sit and gather herself for the first time since Arizona told her she slept with someone else. And it wasn't just anyone either, it was someone she knew. Well not knew but someone she's met and had a conversation with. Someone who she was impressed by, and someone who knew Arizona was married. Which shows how little the woman respected Callie. Callie wanted nothing more than to grab her daughter and go home but this freaking storm wasn't letting up. She didn't see how some of the patients and some of the doctors were actually managing to sleep. But she did have to admit that the sound of the rain hitting the building and the bolts of lightening and the claps of thunder was somehow calming. She laid back on the cot she had made up for herself earlier and threw her arms over her face as she started to feel all the pain come rushing back into her chest. After everything Arizona had took Callie through she didn't think that it was possible for Arizona to hurt her anymore than she already had. Callie couldn't fathom how these terrible things kept happening to her. As if George cheating on her then later dying, Arizona dumping her in an airport, the car accident, the plane crash, the loss of her best friend and daughters father, and the loss of her wife's leg wasn't already enough. Callie simply did not understand. As she lay there trying to wrap her head around the new obstacle life had thrown at her she felt someone standing over her. She slowly moved an arm from her reddened eyes to see who was peering down at her. Great. What could she possibly have to say now. "What Arizona," she asked while sitting up on the very hard very uncomfortable cot.
For the past five hours Arizona had been trying to figure out what she was going to say to Callie the next time she got a chance. And as soon as she stood over her beautiful wife all of what she had planned to say evaded her mind. Callie always looked beautiful. Even when she had been crying. That may not be the most normal thing ever but Arizona found her shockingly beautiful when she cried. She was a beautiful crier. In all the years they had been together Arizona still couldn't believe that such a rare beauty had been interested in her. And now with one leg she couldn't believe that she was still interested. Realization hitting her with full force she moved to sit down next to Callie. Half thinking Callie would get up and leave or tell her not to sit down she was surprised that neither happened. "I know I seem fine but I am not fine. I thought I was, for a while, I thought I had finally moved on with my life but I guess I haven't. And I know you cut off my leg to save me I know that but, sometimes I wish you hadn't. I wish you would have just let me die. Sometimes I wish it had been me who died out there instead of Mark," she continued her confession as Callie now looked at her with such empathy.
Callie wanted to say something to her wife. Something to comfort her or save her from the hurt she's feeling right now but she doesn't. Because she needs to hear what Arizona has to say. She needed to hear Arizona's thought process in all of this. So she held back and just listened.
Arizona didn't know when she had started back talking but it seemed like she couldn't stop. "I never had someone like you before. Someone so loving, compassionate, smart, stubborn, strong, beautiful," Arizona started to smile as she named all the things she loved about her wife. "No one has ever loved me as much as you have. No one has ever as dedicated to me or as good to me as you have," Arizona felt a single tear fall from her eye. "Sometimes I wonder why? Why me? How did I get so lucky? What did I do to deserve you? And all I can think about is everything I've done to not deserve you," Arizona hung her head in shame at that and so did Callie.
Callie had never seen her wife so open, so vulnerable. Or at least she couldn't remember the last time she had seen her like this. All she wanted to do was hold her wife and help her through this. She couldn't help but feel that this felt different. It felt different than when George cheated on her with Izzy. With George, she had always felt like she loved him more, that she was more invested into their marriage than him. And when George cheated she felt like he loved Izzy. She knew Izzy loved him but knowing that he loved her back, she knew there was no way to save whatever it was that they had so she let him go. With Arizona, she knows that Arizona loves her just as much if not more. She knows that Arizona is frightened by feelings she can't herself explain. She knows that what Arizona did wasn't done out of spite or because Arizona had fallen in love with someone else. She didn't know what it was that caused her actions but she knew that it wouldn't have happened if she hadn't cut off Arizona's leg. "Tell me what happened," Callie said and it made Arizona's head shoot up in confusion. Feeling the need to elaborate she went on, "Tell me what happened between you and Lauren. I wanna know. What were you thinking, and I'm not saying that in a harsh way I just, need to know what was going on in your head," Callie sat back and rested her temple on her fist as she gave Arizona her undivided attention.
Still a little confused as to how these conversations kept taking these turns she had not foreseen, Arizona straightened up and wiped her face. "Well we had just finished with the Simmons baby surgery and," Callie cut Arizona off before she could finish her sentence. "No, start from the beginning, the first encounter you ever had with her," Callie said, wanting a full picture.
"Okay, well it was the day Bailey kept herself locked up in her lab, I was getting coffee before I did rounds and didn't realize I grabbed the wrong cup," Callie remembered when she had asked her wife who was Lauren, the name on the cup she was holding but realized she didn't get an answer. Tuning back into the conversation Arizona kept talking, "So that's when I first met her. I saw her again later that day when I went to meet the specialist Avery got for the Simmons baby. Turned out she was the specialist. We talked strategy for the surgery and that's when you came in and I introduced you to her. Later that day when I was going home I got on the elevator and she was in there. She made a comment about my eyes being really pretty. I then told her that I was happily married to a hot brunette, you, with eyes that are magical," Arizona beamed a bit when she thought of Callie's eyes. "But for some reason I felt the need to tell her that I only had one leg, convinced that if she knew she wouldn't still be interested. But she had already knew about the one leg," here was Callie again interrupting her.
"So how did that make you feel? Knowing that someone as hot as Boswell was interested in you all while knowing you only had one leg?"
Arizona thought about it for a moment. She knew how it made her feel but she didn't wanna tell Callie that. It would certainly her hurt some more. But she's been keeping enough about how she was feeling away from her wife already and decided that if everything was out there they could start to try to fix it. So she continued, "It made me feel, good actually. I felt seen. I, I felt sexy again and confident in myself again," Arizona stopped right there before she said too much seeing how that made a smile frown creep on Callie's face before she could remove it. She knew this was hurting Callie the more she spoke but it's what Callie wanted, and she wanted to fix this so she kept talking. "Then in the surgery with Avery she was saying all these things.. She made me feel like I was capable of anything. Like I was someone who did the unthinkable, like I was most brave person in the world. Then she said she liked to stay close to the patient post-op and wondered if I could show her where the on-call room was," Arizona stole a glance at Callie and she could see that Callie was bracing herself for what was to come next. "So I showed her where the on-call room was and we said how great the surgery was and were a little sad it was over. I extended my hand out to shake hers and say goodbye but she wouldn't take it. So I walked in the room guessing that a hug was more appropriate and then the lights went out, I guess the generator had given out or something but the next thing I knew we were kissing. When the lights came back on I pulled away. Said I couldn't do this and turned to leave. Somehow what she said managed to get me to stay and then I, I don't know, lost it. I turned back around and lost it." She managed to actually get through that. Arizona didn't think she would be able to recount the events to her wife but she did and now all she could do was wait and see what Callie would do.