I do not own Grey's or it's characters, they belong to Shonda R.(who I am very angry with btw).

Thank you to zenelxx, hwhitty10, JUJUChick16, and the other guests who reviewed, I really appreciate you. Much love to you all!

"I thought we had gotten past all the hard stuff I I thought we were good."

"We were. We are."

"We're married!"

"I know."

"We have a child!"

"I know!"

"How could you do this?!"

"I, I don't know-"

"After everything we've survived, the bankruptcy, Mark, the plane-"

"Oh you weren't on the plane Callie!"

"Wha-"

"You weren't on that plane and you keep acting like you were but you weren't. And, and it wasn't your experience-"

"I lost Mark, you almost died!"

"I lost Mark, you almost died. YOU WEREN'T ON THAT FREAKING PLANE! You didn't hear Meredith crying for Lexie, or Mark moaning in pain or me screaming in pain. You weren't. You want the badge of honor, the street cred, the war wounds then great! Stick out your leg and go grab a bone saw and let's even the score!"

"It always comes back to the leg-"

"I trusted you, more than anything. More than anyone in my life, and you decided to cut it off."

"TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!"

"YOU DIDN'T LOSE ANYTHING! I did! I did."

"Apparently I lost you."

Callie's last conversation with her wife running on repeat in her head since she was able to leave the hospital. No matter what she did she kept replaying that conversation in her head. Something about it didn't sit well with her. Maybe it was the fact that she had barely anything to process her wife's infidelity before she was blaming her for her loss of a leg again. It had been a whole year since that happened and she was so sure they were passed that. Evidently she was wrong.

I had a patient once who told me about his wedding day, and how they asked all the married couples to come to the dance floor to dance together. And then they asked all the couples who only been married for a year to sit down, and then five years, ten years, twenty and so on. Until they got to the last two couples. Two sets of grandparents, they had been together sixty years... Sixty years, with the love of their life. That's gonna be you two, at our granddaughter's wedding. Callie.. Arizona.. Congratulations I love you.

Callie reached for the remote and rewound her now dead best friend's wedding speech for the umpteenth time. She had watched it and rewound it so many times since she's been home she lost count. She missed him so much right after he died. She never got to fully grieve for that loss. She was too busy being strong for Arizona and Sofia. But she's never missed him more than she does right now. She's never needed him more than she does right now.

I had a patient once who told me about his wedding day, and how they asked all the married couples to come to the dance floor... Arizona stopped short of putting her key into the front door of her and Callie's apartment when she heard the voice of her daughter's father through the door. She wasn't expecting anyone to even be home. She leaned in to put her ear to the door to see what her wife was listening to. She recognized it to be Mark's congratulatory speech to her and Callie at their wedding. She sighed hard and tried to gather and brace herself for whatever was about to happen when she walked through the door.

That's gonna be you two, at our granddaughter's wedding- as soon as Callie heard the front door open she paused the t.v. and took a sip of her wine that had been resting on her thigh. She didn't even turn around to acknowledge the fact that her wife entered their home. She wasn't gonna be the first to speak either.

Arizona stood at the front door with her back pressed against it. She was afraid to move. She was scared that if she took any steps to her wife she would yell or get up and go in the room or kick her out. But after Callie paused the t.v. and they were in silence for an unknown amount of time she decided to step forward and say something. "I wasn't expecting you to be home," really Arizona, of all the things you could have said just then, idiot. "What I meant was... what I meant to say was, I didn't think you would be here but I'm glad you are." Silence. "Cal can we talk? Arizona made her way over to sit on the coffee table directly in front of Callie. She was surprised when not only did Callie not get up and leave but she was actually looking at her now. She hadn't looked at her since she went off on her earlier. Arizona tried to reach and take Callie's hand but the brunette quickly moved it causing Arizona to hang her head. "Callie... what are we doing?"

"I thought it would work." Callie finally spoke up, causing Arizona to lift her head to meet her wife's eyes that no longer mirrored an emotion.

Arizona didn't have a clue what she was referring to but didn't want to push so she sat quiet and still and looked at her wife to urge her on.

"I thought it would work," Callie repeated. "Watching our wedding videos. Seeing how happy we were," Callie gave her a weak smile. "I thought it would help... But it didn't." Callie moved her focus to the now empty wine glass in her hands. "It only made it worse. Seeing how happy and in love we were, standing in front of God and our friends and family, making promises to each other... Promises we couldn't keep," she felt her voice start to falter. "You made promises to me Arizona," Callie allowed herself to bring her gaze back up to look at Arizona. She felt herself release a unamused chuckle before continuing, "but who were we kidding-"

"You made promises to me too Callie! I'm not the only one who broke promises around here," Arizona let her anger surface again. She knew it wasn't fair to Callie to have asked her to make such a big promise but she did it anyway.

All Callie could do was look at Arizona. She tried to think of what promise she could have possibly broken. She had no idea what Arizona was talking about. Then she realized, "You're right. I made promises too. I shouldn't have but I did. I promised I wouldn't cut off your leg," as a doctor that is one of the most important rules, right up there with first do no harm, don't make any promises you can't keep because there is only so much a doctor can do. Callie was well aware of this when she made that promise to her wife but what was she supposed to say? And truth be told she really did try everything she could to save that leg. She had a plan, got the go ahead and everything was set for Arizona to be able to keep her leg. But her leg had other plans. That leg tried to and would have killed her wife. She don't see how Arizona can't seem to comprehend that. She's a doctor for crying out loud. She knew what was going on, she knew amputation was the best option. "You almost died... you get that?" When Callie didn't receive an answer she kept going. "You crashed. You had to be intubated, you get that right? Cause I don't think you do. You think I cut it off out of what, spite? Just for kicks? Because I'm such a glutton for punishment and thought our marriage needed another challenge?! What if it was me Arizona?" Callie stopped her rant to try to read her wife's face. Her last question at least got her to look up from her hands. "What if it had been me who was on the plane and ended up with my bone sticking out? What if I came back to you like that, crying and begging you to promise me you wouldn't cut it off? Huh? What if I was the one who became septic because of the infection that had gotten in my leg and was making its way to my bone? What would you have done? Would you have tried to save my leg?... Or would you have tried to save me?"

Arizona was stuck. She was so angry and still so mad at Callie but listening to what Callie was asking her made her feel stupid. It made her not like herself even more. She wanted to tell Callie that if it had been her she would have tried to save the leg no matter the costs because that's what she promised. But that wouldn't be true. If she was being honest with herself she would be able to tell Callie that it would have been an easy decision for her. Save her wife. Of course she would have tried to save Callie's life if it had been Callie instead of her. Her mile a minute thoughts were cut short by soft whimpers coming through the baby monitor and Callie getting up to go check on their daughter. She took the time to think while Callie was checking on Sofia. She never tried to think from Callie's point of view. She never tried to put herself in Callie's situation and see if she would have done things differently. In truth she knew it was selfish to put all that pressure on her wife. Deep down she knew that she was setting her wife up to fail. All so she could keep her leg. It was selfish, and it wasn't fair to either one of them.

Once Callie had gotten Sofia calmed down and back soundly asleep she made her way back to the living room. Suddenly it hit her. This was the second time Arizona has deflected their conversation from her infidelity and put it on Callie. She had to shake her head. That woman never took responsibility for her actions. It was always someone else's fault. As she took her seat back on the couch she noticed her wife open her mouth to say something but she cut her off, "So ultimately you're saying you were unfaithful to me because I cut off your leg? Because since you're not saying anything all I'm left to do is assume. Is that it Arizona? You were so pissed off at me for saving you at the expense of your leg that you thought you'd pay me back by hurting me in the worst way?" Now it was Callie's turn to be pissed.

"No," Arizona sighed out. She didn't think that was the reason at all.

"Then why Arizona?! Help me out because I'm trying really hard to understand!"

"I don't know okay! I don't know why I did it it just happened!" Arizona was on her feet now. She couldn't keep letting Callie make her feel bad. Even if she did deserve it.

"You don't know. It just happened." Callie repeated her wife's answer with a chuckle and shook her head. "You gotta come up with something better than that because 'you don't know' isn't a fucking answer! What am I suppose to say to your daughter when she asks why her 'mama' isn't around? Why she's lost yet another parent?! You threw away three years of marriage in three days! You let that bitch come in and ruin us for what?! Cause you don't forgive me for saving you!"

"You know what, you're right," Arizona managed to get out in between her pissed off wife's very verbal mental processing. If Arizona wasn't mistaken she could have sworn she saw a look of surprise flash across the Latina's face if only for a second. "You're right, I don't forgive you. I'm reminded everyday of what you did to me. Of how I put all my faith in you, of how I never ask anything of you and the one time I do you let me down! You did this to me. You made me this person! So yea, maybe I did sleep with her to get back at you. And for that I am sorry. But I don't forgive you for doing this to me."

Callie felt like the ground had been snatched from up under her. You couldn't have told her she was still alive in that moment. She felt like Arizona had sucked all the life outta her in that moment. She didn't know who this person was standing in front of her. It looked like her wife, voice sounds like her wife, but this person standing in front of her, yelling at her, was not her wife. "Arizona," Callie had no idea what to say. She'd been racking her brain trying to figure out what to do, how to forgive her for cheating, but how do you forgive the unforgivable when the person who needs forgiving hasn't forgiven you? "I didn't do this to you, Arizona."

Arizona narrowed her eyes to focus on what was being said to her. "What?"

"You blame me for this person you've become, because I cut off you leg. But I didn't. Yea I made the call but I didn't cut it off. I wouldn't have been able to cut it off even if I had to." Callie took a minute to wipe a tear that finally got away from her. "Arizona, you're so angry. You've been so angry and I let you take it out on me because I thought that's what you needed. But Arizona I'm angry too. I'm angry at you, and deep down I think you're angry at yourself but you just don't want to admit it so you lash out. You've been lashing out and I get that. I can forgive a lot of things Arizona. I know that you would never do anything to hurt me on purpose I know that. So I know you didn't sleep with Lauren to hurt me, I get that. I forgive that. But what I don't forgive is you continuing to blame me for something that was not even my fault-"

"Wait, what do you mean you didn't cut off my leg?"

"That's not the point I'm trying to make Arizona.. I'm saying, that this," Callie used her hand to gesture up and down at Arizona, "this person you've become, that's on you. Your leg needing to come off, that's also on you. You put me in this impossible situation and for the life of me I've been trying to understand how this all even happened. And it all circles back to you Arizona, not me. It was you who boarded that plane. It was you who got so pissed and was being so irrational that you put yourself on that plane. You unintentionally put yourself in this situation and for that...I don't forgive you for that. I don't forgive you for putting us through that and I don't think you forgive yourself for that either. And that's who you should be mad at, not me, not whoever cut off your leg, but you."

A/N: I am not a writer people. I don't know the first thing about writing but I do know what I wish to see. I hope that I haven't lost you guys, I hope at least some of you are enjoying this new found adventure of mine. Let me know what you think. I hope it wasn't totally horrible.

Until next time :*