AN; YOU HAVE SPOKEN! TIME FOR A ZOMBIE ADVENTURE. HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOO! WHO'S EXCITED? I'M EXCITED! DO YOU THINK THIS AN HAS TOO MANY CAPS?! I DON'T! CAPS ARE AWESOME BECAUSE IT MAKES ME LOOK CRAZY AND ANIMATED AND YELLING WHEN IN REALITY I'M JUST CALMLY SITTING IN MY BED DRINKING KOOL-AID. Well, that's enough of that then.

School starts on wednesday so this is going to be the last update for a while. Please don't hate me.

Being a zombie sucked.

The movies made it look like so much fun. You get to run wild, scaring the crap out of everyone before eating them, no worries, no regrets. In real life you try to eat your best friend once and suddenly you need to be tied to a bedpost 'for his safety'.

Pfft, safety.

Craig was just a kinky bastard.

The bastard.

And really, did he have to throw coffee in his face? That was a waste of perfectly good coffee.

Tweek huffed and settled on his haunches. He was starving. "I feel ridiculous." He pouted. "I'm not a dog. You can't just chain me up."

"Well get over it." Craig said simply, rubbing his friend's hair. "It's only temporary." Tweek snapped his teeth angrily. "I'm sooo scared." Craig teased, flicking him on the nose. "Look, we'll get you to the safe house and then you can roam as you please, okay? Just deal with it for a few more hours."

"...Alright."

Craig turned in for the night. He would be taking Tweek to the safe house tomorrow night. It was a Friday so hopefully his mother wouldn't get on his case about staying out late. He snuggled into his pillow, staring at the blond with half-lidded eyes. Tweek stared back. "Night, Tweek." He yawned.

He cracked a smile. "Good night, Craig." Tweek huffed as the dark haired boy fell into a deep slumber. "Finally, you jerk." He whispered. Tweek listened to his heartbeat slow, his friend beginning to snore softly. Tweek sighed and glanced at the clock on the wall. It was too dark to see the time. It couldn't have been any later than ten though. Craig always fell asleep fast. Tweek pouted. He was so bored.

And hungry.

He was bored and hungry. Those were never a good combination with Tweek, even before he was a flesh eating monster. Honestly, Craig should have known better than to go to bed without feeding him. Tweek brought the chains holding him to the bedpost to his mouth and bit down. They were dollar-a-foot Home Depot name brand knock-offs and broke easily under his teeth. He stood and stretched, stumbling to the window. His broken leg seemed to be healing and he found moving around much easier. Tweek looked back at his friend and smiled fondly. Craig snored away, blissfully ignorant.

He dropped out the second story window quietly, landing in a crouch. He smiled, inhaling deeply. He could smell the rain on the horizon and underneath it something else. It was a person. They were close, too. He looked around suspiciously, sniffing. The wind toussled his hair. He took a step toward them before something else caught his attention.

Blood.

He could smell everyone from miles around, could hear the dozens of heartbeats slow in sleep, blood gently pumping through their veins.

Warm, tasty flesh that would put raw hamburger meat to shame. Hundreds of people living in this town, no one would notice a few...absences. Enough people in this town to keep him fed for years. Delicious, struggling against his teeth, hot, messy, like a cheeseburger. He was so hungry.

He groaned and staggered onto the road, grateful for the cloak of night. Forget it, he had to get out of here before he went crazy! Tweek lumbered down the lonely path for a long while, hissing dangerously at any animals that passed him. Dogs barked loudly as he walked by, whining at the smell of death. Cats watched curiously, eyes bright and shimmering as birds took up a mournful chorus. Rain began to pour down, soaking his borrowed clothes. Craig would be furious if the colors ran. He almost turned back but was unwilling to end his walk. He couldn't be certain that if he went back now, with all those evil wonderful wrong right right right thoughts in his head that he would be able to keep himself from doing something he would regret later.

At least he was pretty far from town if the cravings did take control again. The buildings had slowly begun to disappear miles ago. He was in farm county now and there was nothing to see but pastures and farm animals.

Cows looked at him with lazy, drooping eyes. They smelled odd. Tweek wasn't sure how he was supposed to react. On the one hand, food. On the other, they smelled like grass and methane; nothing at all like the delicious scent humans gave off.

Delicious warm flesh blood heart beat stop it stop it people are friends not food STOP.

But meat was meat, right?

He used to eat hamburgers and things like that before...

Before...

They began to back away as he clumsily hauled himself over the fence. "Here cow, cow, cow." He crooned, holding out his hand. He slowly walked towards an especially fat one. It pure white with large, innocent eyes. It mooed curiously, too young to know the dangers of man. "Here, cow, cow, cow!" Tweek licked his lips. He was so hungry. He bared his teeth in anticipation. It took a hesitant step back and he lunged. He sank his teeth into its shoulder, moaning happily. Warm meat filled his mouth, bloody and fresh. If he sniffed hard enough, really concentrated, he imagined he could smell human underneath it all, could hear its frantic moanings of terror. Then he couldn't hear anything, not even the frantic moos of the other cows, over the dull roaring in his ears. She squirmed against him and he pinned her, growling as the cow kicked at his arm. It cracked and lay limp and useless at his side. Growing annoyed with the struggle, he finished her off, using his good arm as well as his teeth.

Tweek gorged, rain and wind wiping away the evidence of the deed. He licked his fingers and burped. His stomach was distended over the fabric of his grass stained pajama bottoms. He hadn't felt this full in weeks. The cow stared at him blankly, eyes wide and glazed. He paid it no mind as he stood up and touched his arm. The bone stuck out of his elbow. How would he explain this to Craig?

Licking his lips, he stumbled back to his sanctuary. This time, he didn't think of how wrong his hunger was. Or how much of a monster he looked like right now.

No, he only thought of when he'd get to do it again.

He climbed slowly, arm hanging limp against his side. Damn cows. Tweek slid back through the window and landed on the floor with a wet 'thud'. Craig didn't stir as he settled back in for the night, keeping one eye on his friend. He sucked his tongue and thought of his next meal, the first gentle stabs of hunger beginning to sound in stomach.

Soon.

"Kyle." Stan hissed. "Kyle. Wake up!"

"Urgh...Stan? What?" He rolled onto his side.

Stan bit his lip and shook his friend gently. "Kyle, wake up! Please! I need to talk to you!"

Kyle and Stan had been friends for most of their lives and the Jew could recognize the difference between Stan's just-want-to-talk-voice from the about-to-have-a-serious-mental-breakdown voice. He yawned and sat up, glancing at the clock blearily. "Dude...it's two o'clock in the morning! We have school tomorrow!"

"I have to talk to you."

"What is it?" He groaned. "Can't it wait until morning? I have enough trouble convincing my mom to let me stay over on school nights because she thinks we'll stay up all night fucking around. Don't prove her right." He shifted in his sleeping bag. Stan grabbed his hand, holding it tightly.

"Please." He pleaded. "It's important."

Kyle sighed. "Alright. Fine, you have five minutes to tell me what's so important before I go back to sleep."

"You have to promise to keep it a secret." He stared hard at their intertwined hands.

"Stan, I-"

"Promise, Kyle!"

"I promise! What is it?"

"I-I think I did something bad. Really bad." He whispered.

Kyle felt his heart skip a beat, suddenly feeling very awake and alert. They had always joked about what they'd do if they killed someone but those had been jokes. No, Stan wouldn't kill someone in cold blood. He wasn't like that. But what else would warrant such secrecy? Such terror? "Stan." He struggled to keep his voice from cracking. "Stan, what did you do?" Stan squeezed his eyes shut and hugged him, tightly. He breathed in the scent of his super best friend. It comforted him, as it always had. Kyle gripped back just as tightly.

"What would you do if I died?" He whispered.

"I..."

"I would go crazy. I would cry and throw things and probably never leave my room." He smiled a watery smile. "But you're stronger than me, smarter too. You'd be fine, wouldn't you? It's just me. I'm so scared of death. Of being alone forever." Stan sighed. "What would you give, Kyle, if someone promised they could bring me back? Everything?"

The Jew swallowed and leaned his head against Stan's collarbone. His cheek pressed against his chest. He could feel his heart beating and after a moment felt his own match it's partner's erratic pace. "Anything." He murmured back. "Anything they would take, I would give."

"I was so scared. So lonely. No one believed me when I said it wasn't my fault. They said if I had gone to the party, if I had called my parents' the second I knew she was going he'd still be here today. No one would help me. But then he came to me and promised he would come back normal. All I had to do was wish for it. I made myself believe it. That everything could go back to normal. Things always go back to normal, don't they? Just reset at the end of the week? But it didn't this time. It didn't. He didn't. I saw him, Kyle. I saw him. He's...he's a monster." Stan sobbed. "I didn't know. They lied. I don't know how to fix it. I just wanted to fix it. Craig wouldn't tell me anything. So I...and then I...I saw him...in the pastures. He attacked the cows like a wild animals, he ate them alive and all I did was stand there and-and-" He hiccuped.

"Shh, Stan," Kyle said, feeling something cold and dark grip his heart. "Stan, it's okay. Tell me, who did you see?" He knew the answer before it was spoken. It could only be one person.

"Tweek." He responded simply, staring up at him with cold, dead eyes. "I saw Tweek."

AUTHOR'S NOTE; Damn it was hard reaching that 2,000 word limit this time around. Remember, the polls are still open. If you don't want to review, people have been PMing me! Feel free to revote if you like! So far I've got a lot of people for crazy!zombie!evil!Tweek and I got a lot of Stan fan's out there! I'll do my best to make you guys proud! *blows kisses* See you soon, hopefully!