A/N: This is what happens when I write through a block. Enjoy!
In her review mirror, Sara can see the flickering red and blue lights clearly. A heavy sigh leaks from her mouth as she proceeds into the shoulder of the road. The police car quickly parks behind her beat up 1976 Rabbit. Sara remains seated silently in her car, sting straight ahead at the scene in front of her. Trees and trees and oh, more rain. It's been raining like crazy the past four days that Sara's been driving. Her eyes are tired from driving all night. Her hair is mangled; looking like she'd just woken up or she'd been attacked by some wild animal. Her eyes carry huge bags underneath. Sara is exhausted.
The light tapping on the glass isn't enough to captivate Sara's total attention, only enough for her hand to reach for the lever and roll down her window. Rain drops smack across her face, yet she remains completely still. She blinks ahead and waits for the interrogation that's sure to come. Soon enough, Sara turns to observe the officer. He stands tall, Sara estimates around six feet and then some.
"Do you know why I stopped you?" the officer inquires. His voice is so deep that it makes Sara even wearier.
"You're bored," a very irritable Sara challenges him, scrunching her features underneath his flashlights strong beam of light.
He laughs, Sara glances up at him with an eye closed and the other squinted. His laugh is quite frightening, laced with a menacing cackle; he has Sara's skin crawling. It pains Sara's ears and makes her body tense and flinch. The booming snort did little to soothe her headache. The pounding in her head had been achieved by Sara's lack of food on this trip mixed with her constant concentration. The occasional high beams of the opposite car had only worsened her condition.
The officer assumed Sara was either high or drunk and there wasn't much Sara could do about it. She was swerving like crazy. She was so exhausted she could barely see. However, Sara had a gram of cocaine in her suitcase. She didn't plan on using the drugs. She had a moment of weakness when she was at the last stop. She had told the cashier at the Stop n' Go! that she needed a 'pick-me-up' if she was going to be driving all night. San Francisco was far from New York and Sara was pretty low on cash. She couldn't afford to stay at hotels. She was attempting to make small talk but he pulled out a small packet of cocaine, along with a small brick of crack. Sara declined the crack but took the cocaine. The minute she saw the white-yellow powder, memories of Stacy flooded her mind. She hadn't done cocaine for years. When she was in San Fran, it was all about meth, which Sara had tried but honestly she had grown fond of pills. Fortunately, Sara was clean, save for the occasional drink and her daily bowl of mary-jane.
The officer cleared his throat and Sara blinked, stupidly asking, "Huh?"
"License and registration, please."
Sara dug out her wallet and retrieved her license. The picture on it was beyond dorky. Her hair was tucked beyond her ears and she sported a bright, gummy smile. She was way too excited to be getting her license for two reasons: 1) she didn't think she would ever need it and 2) it was something that she had that Tegan didn't.
Sara opens the glove-box, grabbing her registration. She pulls the stack of papers up to her chest, a picture falling to her lap. She lifts the picture, inspecting it as she hands her registration over to the police officer. The photo is one of her and Tegan, six months before Sara left. They're kissing. Why Sara had it in her glove-box, she didn't know. She lifts up the picture, holding it closely as she turns on the light on her ceiling. They're in bed together, wrapped up in nothing but Tegan's sheets. They took a collection of pictures throughout their relationship. Most are tucked away in Sara's closet, hidden in maybe six or seven shoe boxes. This picture though, is Sara's favorite. Tegan has about the biggest smile on her face; the kiss was a surprise from Sara. In the photo, they were only supposed to looking at each other but once Sara saw Tegan's finger clicking down she dove in for a kiss. Tegan printed the photos herself, in her redroom. She went into a stage where she wanted to be a photographer and well, she was good at it. They had so many photos of themselves.
In Tegan's club was a picture of the twins, standing side by side in front of a brick wall in matching outfits. If you google Tegan's name or the clubs name, that picture came up. However, googling Sara's name resulted in mug shots, headshots and her books covers. Sara didn't often google herself.
The police officer came back with a ticket printed neatly for Sara's busted taillight. Sara placed the picture in the passenger seat and tossed the ticket in the backseat. "Thank you," she said sarcastically.
"Have you been drinking?" the officer then asked.
Sara scrunched up her face, "You got a quota to fill or some shit?"
The officer raised his eyebrows in surprise at Sara's catty behavior. Sara had no respect for authority. None whatsoever- not with her past. Sara giggles to herself when she remembers that Tegan had once almost attended police academy. Sara had been arrested so many times, she couldn't remember the number. When they were kids and Sara was arrested around Tegan, her sister stood and watched. She never tried to help Sara.
"Something funny?"
Sara shook her head, trying to stifle her giggle fit. Ah, her need of sleep was catching up on her. Sara must seem high to this officer.
"I think I'm going to have to check your car," the officer says.
Meanwhile, Tegan is held up in her club standing with her best friend Cara who is cleaning up all the glasses before they shut down for the night. The club is pretty much empty, save for a group of seven girls who are being quiet. They're keeping to themselves and Tegan appreciates this. She's having herself a pity party because it is the two year anniversary of the day her girlfriend and twin sister left her. She's now 35 years old but she's acting like a 21 year old. She drinks practically every night, or every other night if her hangover is that severe.
Holy Dances by Beach House plays over the clubs stereo system, reminding Tegan of the mock prom she and Sara threw on their first year anniversary. It was a promotion for the club but really, Tegan and Sara were celebrating their relationship. She terribly misses her sister and it's no secret to her close friends. For example, Cara- she feels awful for Tegan and kept trying to get girls to hook up with her best friend. So far, Cara is the only one that knows about Tegan's romantic relationship with her sister. Tegan plans on keeping it that way.
Tegan had bought all three of Sara's memoirs, reading them religiously. She was mentioned time and time again in the books and she high-lighted each time she was mentioned. In the book, Sara had strictly kept Tegan's name to a simple T. There were mentions of sex and there were mentions of Sara staying clean because of T. Though, it was never mentioned that T was actually Sara's sister. Tegan didn't fret too much over it, knowing that it would have been too obvious.
Tegan had donated a lot of money to Sara's publisher, hoping to get the books published. She even sold the collection of books at her club. Tegan asked the publisher if she could remain anonymous. She didn't want to scare Sara. She just wanted to help support her, no matter how that was. There were rumors of Sara doing drugs again, but it scared Tegan too much to look into. She didn't want that to happen. She followed Sara's blog closely. She liked to keep a tab on Sara and that was the only way she knew how.
Cara sighs heavily, "Tegan, I know you're sad but… you've got to move on. It's been two years."
Tegan shakes her head, standing up and stretching. "Will you lock up when you leave?" she asks.
Cara nods, "Can I come stay with you? I uh, I don't trust you."
Tegan sighs, "I guess so." She walks out of the club and then up the stairs to her apartment. Sara's room is exactly how she left it. Tegan hasn't gone in there since the day Sara left. She never needed to. She didn't plan on ever using that room for anything and if she did clean it out, what if Sara came back?
Tegan lay down on her couch, turning the TV on and reaching for the blunt on the coffee table. She lit it, taking a long hit from it as she surfed through the channels. It was all infomercials but she wasn't ready for this day to be over. She needed to plow through it for as long as she could.
Unfortunately, Tegan had passed out after finishing the swisher and knocking back a shot of tequila for good measure. She was sleeping like a baby, Cara came home and covered her with a blanket before retreating to Tegan's bedroom to sleep herself. It was maybe four AM when Tegan's homephone rang. She sat up, groaning as she made her way over to her phone. She picked it up, her voice slurring with tiredness.
"Hello?" she answered.
"Tegan?" Sara replied on the other line, "Tegan, I need your help."
"Sara… Hi, Sara…" Tegan said, smiling.
"Are you awake? Can you come get me? I'm at a police station in Elizabeth."
"You're in Jersey?" Tegan asks, sitting at her counter.
"Yes, yes. Tegan, can you drive?" Sara asks, her voice trembling. "I need you to bail me out."
"I can't drive… but my neighbor can. I'll go get her. We'll go get you."
Tegan rushed to get dressed, pulling her shoes on. "How much is bail?"
Tegan heard Sara swallow hard, "50,000."
"Jesus Christ, I'll be there as soon as I can, with the money."
"Thank you. Thank you so much."
Tegan hangs up and rushes to her neighbor's door. She knocks on it hard, hoping to wake her up. Lindsey answers the door almost immediately, dressed in jeans and a flannel. She appears to have been awake already.
"I hope you're not busy," Tegan says, tears in her eyes.
Lindsey shakes her head, opening the door wider for Tegan to come in. She does, wiping the tears. "Can you drive me to Elizabeth in Jersey?"
Picking up her purse, Lindsey agrees, pulling her keys out and slipping into her shoes. She asks Tegan what's wrong but it's hard for Tegan to even talk with the steady flow of tears and choking sobs. They get in the car and thirty minutes later, they're in Elizabeth and in front of the police station. Tegan rushes inside, Lindsey following her. Tegan explains who she's here for and a cop takes Sara out. Tegan has seen Sara at her absolute worse, all skin and bones but still, each time she sees Sara's a mess, her heart breaks. She pays bail for Sara, learning that Sara will be on one year probation.
Tegan's at a loss for words, she has no idea what to do. Does she tell the officers that Sara will live with her? Does she even trust Sara anymore? She thought Sara was off of drugs. Apparently, Tegan doesn't care because she signs forms saying that Sara will be living with her while she's on probation. She agreed to everything because it meant that she'd have Sara back.
As they walk outside, Tegan awkwardly thanks Lindsey, hugging her tightly. Lindsey has a big crush on Tegan and it's obvious. Tegan wants to feel the same about Lindsey, but it's hard when Sara's constantly on her mind. Their hug is long and Tegan dares herself to kiss Lindsey, right in front of Sara. She doesn't. She just says goodbye, thanks her a million times and walks to Sara's car. Sara climbs in, starting the car. As Tegan goes to sit in the car, she sees the photograph of her and Sara kissing. She picks it up and stares at it intently. Sara sighs, looking at her sister and throwing the car into reverse. She heads up to New York, the car ride completely silent. Sara's tired and it's getting light outside. She wants to be home, in her bed, alone but instead here she is, with her ex-girlfriend slash sister.
Once they finally get to Tegan's apartment, Sara quickly heads for the couch, passing out on it the moment her head hits the throw pillow. Tegan silently steps into her room, sitting on her bed and waking up Cara.
"Sara's here," she whispers softly, tears falling.