Disclaimer: DC Comics/Warner Brothers owns these characters. No profit is being made from this story. This is strictly for my own amusement.

Author's Notes: This next chapter was another tough one. As you can expect, I had a few decisions to make about where to take CL after he awakens. Also after he was told the truth concerning CK and why he was there, things get complicated, and later, CK says his goodbyes. I hope you enjoy it. Please read and review. Thanks, everyone! :D

~o~o~

Chapter 13: You Had My Heart

The Fortress of Solitude, seconds later:

"Lois?" Kal-El whispered again, as he tried to sit up. The chamber automatically raised up to help him.

Lois and Clark were surprised to hear his voice. "Clark, you're awake!" She ran to him but before she could pull him close, Kal-El held her away from him.

"What is he doing here?" With that question, all kinds of ridiculous doubts and fears flooded his mind. He turned to her. "Are you leaving me?"

Lois turned him to face her before things could get out of hand. "No of course not; he came here to help us. He saved Jonathan's life and he saved yours too."

Kal-El wasn't listening as he looked his brother in the eye. "You want her don't you?" It was a statement not a question.

"That's ridiculous. Did you forget that I have my Lois waiting for me in my world? And once I …" Clark tried to explain.

Kal-El interrupted him. "I don't believe you."

Lois sighed but he had to help him understand. "Clark, you're not thinking clearly. You were dead. The paramedics couldn't revive you and …" She paused as she took his hands in hers. "I thought … I thought you were lost to me forever." Tears flooded her eyes.

Kal-El felt deflated at her confession. "Lois, I'm sorry. It's just seeing him now and at a time like this; I'm sorry." He pulled her to him holding her close. "I love you so much." Then, the words just poured out. "I had a dream and … the suit … and you and me … we were together in the dream. I wake up and I see you. At first I thought he was me." He shook his head then slowly tried to stand up but it was a bit too fast, his head swam and his side was aching.

"Take it slow, that's it," Lois whispered, holding him steady.

"I'm alright, but how long have I been here?" Kal-El asked, as he stared at his brother.

"Only a few days," Clark replied.

Kal-El suddenly realized that he may not be fully healed, but it didn't matter. Lois was there and she still loved him. Holding her close to his side, he glanced around the Fortress and then he saw the suit and that it was still there waiting for him, then he realized he had made a terrible mistake.

Turning to face his brother, he apologized to him. "I'm sorry, thank you saving my Father and for saving my life. I guess I was in shock and when I saw you in the suit, I was confused."

"Apology accepted," Clark replied. "Do you want to tell us about the dream?"

"Well, I think so. I was here speaking with my Father and he said that he was proud of me and that I was ready ..."

"To wear the suit?" Clark finished for him.

"Yes, and I told him how powerful Doomsday was, but I tried my best to stop him."

"You did stop him, Clark, and everyone believes in you now. You're their hero," Lois told him honestly.

Clark suddenly looked uncomfortable. Lois caught his gaze. "Go ahead, Clark, you should tell him."

"Tell me what?" Kal-El asked curious. "Is there something I should know?"

"Well, I made a decision to … ummm … pretend to be you just for a few days, to convince the criminals that you were not dead. Your friends and I agreed that it was the right thing to do. I … ummm … hope you're not upset. I didn't do it to hurt you or to make things difficult for you." Clark continued to explain.

"Oh, I see," Kal-El murmured, not sure how he felt. "And you were wearing the suit, of course."

"Yes, he was. You know why he did it don't you?" Lois asked, concerned by the look on his face.

"I want to sit down. It's a lot to take in." Kal-El was worried now as he looked between the girl of his dreams and the man who looked exactly like him. "Why were you hugging Lois when I woke up?"

"We were saying good-bye and wishing each other the best, that was all," Clark replied.

He frowned. "Well, you've said your goodbyes, you can go now," Kal-El said, but it came out all wrong. "I didn't mean …"

"It's Ok, I understand. You two need to talk and I have a few goodbyes to attend to." He paused. "Lois, he needs to know about Jonathan."

"I'll tell him," Lois responded. "Goodbye and thank you."

"Goodbye, Clark," Kal-El said.

"Goodbye," Clark said and then he was gone.

After a minute or two, Lois said, "It is good news about Jonathan. He had a heart attack, but Clark arrived just in time, took him to the hospital and now he's recuperating. He'll be home in a few days."

Feeling stronger, Kal-El stood up and shaking his head, he approached the suit.

"What are you thinking?" Lois asked as she followed him.

After a moment in front of the ice chamber that held the red and blue, Clark spoke up. "This suit … it's not me."

"You don't mean that. Once you're completely healed, it'll be like none of this happened."

He turned to her then he touched her cheek. "That's not true, Lois. Nothing is the same. Everything is different now."

"But I love you. That hasn't changed and together we can do anything. Please believe that Clark, please."

Suddenly, Jor-El spoke up. "My Son."

Kal-El sighed not wanting to talk to him. "Yes Father what is it?"

"I see you have a problem with your doppelganger."

"I don't have a problem."

"You have a problem and we need to talk about it," Jor-El was strong with him.

Clark stiffened. "Father, he had no right to wear that suit and pretend to be me. It was wrong and you know it."

"No, it was not wrong of him. He saved lives during the time you were recuperating," Jor-El tried to explain.

Clark relented but only for a moment. "I know, but …"

"Clark, please listen to your Father. He did it to help you …" Lois also tried to explain.

Clark was incredulous. "Help me? He didn't do it to help me. He did it to impress you."

"Oh, please don't think that. It's not true," Lois said, getting upset.

"Kal-El …" Jor-El tried to interject, but Clark ignored him. And with his ripped and bloodied silver and black, he turned to the girl of his dreams.

"I'll take you home. My powers are back and I'm fine now." He paused at her shocked expression. "You do trust me, don't you?" He knew it was jealousy talking and he was hurting her. He could see that clearly, but he couldn't seem to stop.

Tears blinded her as she put her arms around his neck and held him close.

~o~o~

High over the skies of Metropolis:

Staring straight ahead, Clark would not look at her. "Clark, please listen to me." She paused as she turned his head to face her. "I love you and I will never, ever give up on you or on us. You have to trust me."

Clark closed his eyes at her heartfelt confession, but then all he could see was her in the arms of another man and what else had they been doing? It tore his decision in two. "I can't, I'm sorry, but I can't."

Laying her head on his shoulder, Lois began to cry.

He hated himself at that moment. He wasn't worthy of her. She was honest and true and he was distrustful and hurtful. He listened to her sobs, and pulled her closer. She didn't pull away from him even though he had hurt her deeply. I do love her; I do, but not enough to forgive her.

Shortly thereafter, they landed at the farm and Conner greeted them. He knew who he was by his costume. "Clark?"

"And who the hell are you?" Clark asked, not in the mood, and couldn't help noticing his teeshirt.

Lois did the introductions. "Clark, this is Conner and … he's a clone. You found him at Cadmus Labs. Do you remember?"

"Yes, I remember. So, you're a young man now."

"Yes, I am."

"And you're living here now?" Clark was incredulous.

"Yes, sir," Conner responded.

"Clark, we, I mean, the other one thought it best if Conner remain here instead of with Tess." Lois explained the situation.

He thought about it for a moment. "Well, I have no problem with it, considering the alternative."

"Thank you, Clark." Conner was relieved. "Can I call you that?"

"Of course, but … don't you have chores?"

Conner nodded.

"Then get to it," Clark instructed. He didn't have the time to deal with him, at least not right now.

Conner scurried off not wanting to disturb him. Clark turned to Lois then. "Once I change, I'll head to the hospital to speak to my parents."

Lois had to wonder why he had been so considerate to someone he barely knew, but he treated her as if she were a stranger. She grabbed his arm. "Clark, I know you're upset about what happened at the Fortress, but none of us had any intention of hurting you, but we did and I'm sorry, truly sorry about all of it."

Clark suddenly realized that he had no defense against her apologies or her declarations of love and affection. He would forgive her, but just not right now. "I know. Will you stay here until I get back?"

Lois inwardly smiled, so glad he wanted her to stay. "Yes, I'll be here."

"Good," he said and headed to his bedroom. Once there, he began to think that something wasn't right. He checked his closet and yes, one of his shirts and a couple of slacks were missing. He then spotted an outfit on a chair that he didn't recognize as his own was also there. "What the hell?" He wanted to rip the clothes to shreds. "Lois!" He yelled, getting angrier by the minute.

"Clark what is it?" Lois asked, terribly worried and then she remembered.

"What the hell is this?" He asked and held up the strange clothing. Clark tried with everything in him not to explode from the suspicion that threatened to tear his heart to shreds.

"Oh, well, he stayed here for one night," Lois reluctantly replied.

"One night?" He raised his eyebrows.

"What are you implying?" Lois couldn't believe this. "Look, Clark, I know that you were upset when you woke up and witnessed a completely honest hug, but that's no reason to accuse me of cheating or … or of doing something that I would never do. And … and you don't believe me when I told you that I love you … then I don't know what to do." She took a deep breath, turned from him, so he couldn't see how much his accusations had hurt her.

"Lois, I'm sorry, but his clothes are now in my room. What am I supposed to believe?"

Lois sighed as she turned to him. "You're supposed to trust me. I thought you knew me, but I guess that's not the case." When he didn't say anything, Lois was hurt, so hurt, she wanted to cry but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction. "I'll collect my things and leave if that's what you want."

"Well, maybe for the time being."

She turned on her heal and left. Once she entered the guest room, she shut the door then broke down and cried. She didn't even care if heard her or not.

Clark was so angry he wanted hit something hard. He covered his ears to blot out her tears, but after streaking to Metropolis with miles behind him, they followed him until he thought he might go crazy if she didn't stop crying.

He finally arrived at the hospital in his jeans and plaid and his glasses of course. But as he approached his Father's room, he heard the other one speaking. He decided to listen for a minute.

After telling them about Conner and how he wanted to be like their son, he said his goodbyes.

"We'll look out for him, don't worry." Martha paused. "Well, I suppose this is goodbye," she said feeling sad but also happy for him. She knew how much he had missed his Lois.

"Yes, this is goodbye," Clark whispered holding back tears of joy and sorrow.

"We wish you all the best, we truly do." Jonathan paused. "Thank you for saving me, for helping our Clark to adjust to his new responsibilities."

"Speaking of that, when I left the Fortress, things were … strained between us and I completely understand why he would feel that way."

"Did something happen?" Jonathan asked, extremely worried now.

"Well, when Clark awakened, he witnessed Lois and I saying goodbye. We were hugging each other and I was in the suit. He then said that he had a dream about the suit and he was confused upon seeing me there."

"Oh dear, and you tried to explain, but he wouldn't listen?" Martha asked, concerned and worried for all of them. Jonathan and Martha shared a glance.

"No, he wouldn't," Clark sadly responded.

Jonathan spoke up. "Well, I'm not surprised. Clark was unsure about taking on his responsibilities and his fate, but we have faith that he will come through this." He paused as he took Martha's hand. "But Martha and I love him very much, and even though we haven't known each other very long, we just hit it off and … and we want him to be happy more than anything." He paused. "Thank you again for helping him, Clark."

"You're welcome. And he will follow his destiny, I truly believe that." He paused to collect his thoughts. "You know, saving you and him, I wouldn't have done it any other way."

Martha was losing it. She held out her arms. "Thank you, Clark."

They hugged each other tightly for a moment. Jonathan also gave him a hug. "Take care … Son."

"You too, and I will." Eyes shining, he turned to go and then he was gone.

Once outside in the corridor, he wiped a stray tear from the corner of his eye. Clark was so worried about his brother that he walked right past him.

Kal-El tapped him on the shoulder. "We should head inside here to talk. It's best that we not advertise how much we look alike."

Clark agreed, so they entered a empty hospital room. Clark spoke first. "You heard?"

"Yeah, I heard. Did you mean all those things you said?"

"I meant every word."

Kal-El believed him. "I know you did." He sighed. "You know I want to wear the suit."

"You'll know when you're ready." Clark was sure of this.

"But what if I'm never ready? I think that was the reason I was so upset when I saw you."

Clark raised his eyebrows. "Really, I thought you were jealous."

"Yes, that too, but I guess I have no choice now."

"Clark, you shouldn't think that way. You always have a choice, but Jor-El, Lara, Lois, Jonathan, and Martha, they all believe in you. The League does too. There must be a reason why."

He sat down and sighed heavily. "I hurt Lois pretty badly. I told her we should … break up."

Clark was shocked. "You said that? But why?"

"I don't think we can do it. She's perfect and I'm …. I don't know what I am."

"I see." He paused. "Do you think I've never wanted to leave my Lois behind?"

"But … why would you do that?" Kal-El was surprised to learn that, but then he thought about it. He was doing the exact same thing.

Clark was thoughtful as he walked over to the window. "I remember asking my Lois if she believed in fate."

"And what did she say?" They actually were similar.

"That she didn't believe in fate, that we can make our own choices our own decisions. But deep down, she knew, and I knew too. We were fated to be together. It's just that simple."

Kal-El shook his head. "I wish it were that simple."

Clark had to help him understand. "Clark, think about this. When you were in my world, you came in contact with my Lois, didn't you?"

His head came up at that. "Yes, I did."

"And do you remember what you felt when you were close to her, when you talked to her?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"Well, it's the same for me and for your Lois." He paused. "Clark, we were there for each other. I helped her through a difficult time and she helped me. That's all it was, and in my helping her, I helped you too. Do you know what I'm trying to say?"

Kal-El understood now. They were all connected. "I think so."

He came over to him. "Clark, don't let her go. She's your better half, and the best you'll ever get." He paused as he watched him for a moment. "Well, I have to go now."

Kal-El stood up and held out his hand. "Take care Clark and thank you."

"Goodbye, Clark." They both grinned.

They parted ways. Kal-El remained behind, sat back down and thought about their conversation and his life up until this moment. It was a turning point for him.

Which way would he go?

~o~o~

Clark headed over to Watchtower to say his goodbyes.

"This is it?" Bruce asked as everyone gathered around to shake his hand. Clark was not in the suit.

"Yes, your Clark is fully recovered. I ran into him at the hospital."

Wally asked the burning question. "And the suit, will he wear it?"

"I truly hope so," Clark thoughtfully replied.

Everyone was dying to ask about their doppelgangers. "Do we all get along in your universe?" Bruce asked.

"Yeah, do we get along?" Carter asked, as he pulled Shiera close to him. Their looks could not be misunderstood for anything but what it was. They had turned a corner.

Clark gave in. "Yeah, best buds."

They were all relieved to hear it. Then they all said their goodbyes, thanks, and good lucks then Clark was gone.

~o~o~

He flew back to the Fortress. The mirror box was ready. He picked it up.

"Thank you, Father. I did my best to help him. I hope he comes home to you and to Mother."

"Thank you, Kal-El. Your mother and I have faith he will come home and soon." He paused. "Goodbye, Son."

"Goodbye, Father."

He switched on the box and then he was home.

TBC!

~o~o~

Song Inspiration: Rolling in the Deep, Adele.

A/N: Man, angsty Clois is fun and sad at the same time. Clark needed to know what went on while he was gone, and shocking him like this keeps everything interesting. Look, if he had awakened all warm and 'thanks for your help' … BORING! This is far more interesting as a writer and hopefully as a reader as well. But please remember, it's Clois. They will work this out … BUT WHEN!? I'll let you guys think about that. Reviews would be so awesome! :D